well... i've realised that i keep in all my emotions and only hav a happy face on all the tym...
eventhough my feelings r deeply scared...
so really i only paint a happy face on myself...
to hide my true feelings...
i'm actually really sensitve and my heart is very fraile....
i dont let any1 get too close to me....
so really im the girl that is let out and...
is always taging along behind the group...
always with a smile... so im sorta like a bunny rabbit...
i look happy and cuddly on the outside
but really soft and tender on the outside... my fake self hides away all the hurt that i hav and hav caused 2 other people.... so wat the hell do i do...
maybe i am the one who should die...

(This is all my own opinion, please don't get mad if you don't agree with me. Just tell me to shut up and I will)
You shouldn't die
You are just scared to express your emotions
I am the same way. I am afraid to tell my friends that I am sad because I don't want to be a burden to them. I smile all day, everyday, even when something happens to me that almost anyone would cry to(Except my grades, I'm a baby with my grades! ^ ^;;)
I just hide everything in, I don't even get mad at anything
So when the day ends, I bring home all my frustrations and tears, lie them out on my bed and take it out on my room..(My room is always trashed, I throw things to relieve stress)

My thoughts are that you should find your closest friend and tell them about one of your biggest problems
Make sure that you really trust and know them so that they won't react in such a way that might hurt you.
If they are truly your friend, they will comfort you and be your shoulder to cry on
Keep talking with them and soon enough, you will probably start opening up to people more and then you will be able to smile all the time but you won't have the pain to drag home everyday because your friends will help you deal with it.
If you need anyone to start with though, you can message me and tell me a problem - I'm pretty good at helping others and I'd love to help you! ^_^
Just message me or something, I still don't know how this site works exactly.. >.>;;

Hope I helped a little!

thx! this will really help in the long run! i think im now gonna go into a dark room. have a blanket over my head and ear a bowl of rice!

Red-ButterflyKyoko, do not be afraid to express how you really feel to your closest, most trusted associates when life gets beyond your control. That's what support groups like this forum are for. When you have a shoulder to cry on, life & the world does not seem to be so harsh and painful, once you've openned up yourself to your most trusted friends. Besides, life without a little pain and inner turmoil does not allow you to grow & mature as you should. I'm sure that there are times you wish it weren't so. That life was just easy- breezy, without any inner pain & suffering. But it's never that way. You'll always have situations that cause you pain & suffering. Just remember there are valuble lessons to be learned from all this. If you learn from & apply these lessons you'll grow & mature as an individual. Your perspective on life will likely change for the better, too & you'll likely become a truely happier person as well. I hope this helps you in your epic struggle...

well im a guy and im sorta like that....i dont smile much but have nuetral look on my face...i hang around my friends and get pushed to the back...im real quiet....ussually im more afraid of what other people are thinkin..

personally i dont think this is wrong...i think its just how you handle life and everything that happens..the truth is hard to let out...sometimes i feel like an emotionless dummy....heh...if only there were a way to make it so i could keep from hurtin someone...bleh...

um,, im same as you (as you have described it above)
but i guess im in the process of overcoming it...
you see, i want a change because my heart is really hurting
literally(and i don't want to die that way, same as my grandma whom i never seen)
anyway.,. its really hard to trust somebody especially with you thoughts and emotions, but that's one way...
you need to become strong and not to die....
actually, i don't trust anybody with my feelings,
but its not good either...
i always make a smile in front of my classmates (everyday)
and it sucks because i'm foolin' everybody including myself...
anyway, good thing i've started to find an outlet
he says he's a creature,, he is my "Oni-chan' (not really blood related were friends)
um,, but to sum things up,, all you need is to face your fear of opening up,,.
i know not everybody would really pay attention to you
but I'll try my best to help you...you can count me in..
(I've said that because my classmates, i think, doesn't really pay attention to me...)
but my onichan does...
its okay to hide your feelings but if you know you can't handle it anymore, you should reeeeaaaally tell somebody!
i hope i'd made sense.....

aiyah. don't turn emo on us..=_=
well. i'm kinda confused about what you seem to be depressed about. it's good that you realise how you "really feel", and although you've taken the next step in telling someone, we still can't help you, because we don't know the source of your problems.

but my advice would be not to wallow in self pity.

Oh it was until now that I find so many people look sunny but their heart is in fact hurting.

I am a little different from you. I am the kind that can be consider 'arrogance', and sometimes I think I should get peoples` praise, because I deserve it. But I myself really know I always mess everything up, but I want praise, no matter what I do. So I am often injured by the reality. But I continue to myself I should change myself. Now I think i am better, at least better than the one 3 years ago.

I ain`t a psychological doctor, so it woould be so,e what abruptness to advice you as a true doctor, but I just want to tell you people before you may have their own trouble. I think that no one is perfect or guilty (not including saints and crimes) , everyone has either this kind of problem or another kind, and you don`t live to please other people, just for yourself. So do as you want, be the one you are.

thx everyone...... but.... still its hard to get out of the routine and express my feelings....

you r like Soujiro from rurouni Kenshin- lol
But honestly- don't die. I agree with venicequeencuz we don no the source of ur problem but don't "wallow in self pity."

haha I have a friend like this. not to be of any offense. I can understand what kind of thing you described. i suggest that you should find a friend you trust and tell them about it. I do that, it seems to help me. espically when they say how possible is that? then I'm like okay okay okay you're right! well you might also might want to consider what kind of place you have with in the group, one of two ideas is that people consiously <(did I spell that right?) might rely on you, like when you're there everything's fine, then when you're sick or not there the group feels weird. Or two you're tring to fit into the group...in which possibly you may be actually just not fitting in with them. I could be wrong. think about it and let me know. I would like to see if my thoughts are true.

Aww... *pat* don't worry everything'll work out fine in the end!

I guess I'm similar, but a bit different. In the outside, everyday, at school, etc, I am the role model of perfection. Marks, beauty, personality, etc... I can't go below anyone's expectations, because I'm afraid to disappoint anyone. I've hidden my quiet, dreamer, peaceful, sad side only to show the cheerful, playful, crazy girl every day. I've never opened up to anyone till a few months ago...

But anyway, I really hope you'll feel better soon! *waves* ^-^

hon, ive pmed you already, but seriously, you sound liek u could use some help. try joining a support group online, or join a club, or get a diary to practice before telling other people things, find someone else like urself and bond with them... feel better, ok?

You musn't just hang about and smile! You musn't because nothing good can come out of it , you have to express your feelings and opinions, otherwise you friends really will think of yiu as a little bunny rabbit following them and will begin to question why you are there. I did that and the worse thing possible happened- they ditched me because they didn't know what I was thinking and had to guess all the time. Its important to tell people what you feel verbally at least, because it is important to smile! ^_^ Thats what attracts people to other people! ^_^

thx everyone!

this is the most depressing post i've ever come across.
altho feelings are meant to be expressed, but they don't HAVE TO be expressed.
there is nothin wrong with hiding the feelings inside as long as u can handle it and not lose ur mind.
when u feel like ur on the edge, shout it out, let it all out, or u'll go into deep depression and have high risk for suiciding.

well, its good to hide ur emotions.. but not always, sometimes u have to let it out, or u wont be the one controlling ur life. Dont over do it, or u will look like some one who wants attention...

Be happy, and be open to anyone... thats my way, and i dont have emotional problems

Well, if you keep holding onto your emotions like that, it'll just continue to hurt you more and more and one day, you won't be able to be yourself any longer. You'll probably turn into a whole 'nother person. I dunno. It depends on what your emotions affect you. Really, it's all different for everyone. So, all I'm saying is that you shouldn't hold onto your emotions even when you're sad on the inside. You should, at least, do something to let out your emotions. If you're mad and you don't wanna show it, I would probably suggest playing a sport or just relax in a hot tub or something. But, never EVER think of killing yourself. It's one decision that you're gonna regret. And of course, you CAN'T turn back once you commit suicide. So, please, don't think of killing yourself. Please.

This is a fact.
Teen suicides have gone down a lot since the last decade.

You know....
When people talk....
With a lot of periods....in jumbled up sentences....
It pisses me off...
Forgive my trolling....I shall now respond in a typical manner.

Many people are like that. I could be - maybe I've buried myself beneath such a mass of indifference, insensitivity, and unawareness that I have destroyed my inherent personality and dreamed up a completely new one, in the way that I consider the "perfect" personality.

Or maybe I havn't. I do not, however, let people get close because I fear for them. Tell me, why don't you? Do you fear you'll, as you say, hurt them? From what I can tell, most people will trade a bad experience for a good experience, as opposed to Yes's opinion in their song "Owner of a Lonely Heart." Sorry, I just so happen to be listening to it at the moment.

Still, there is no way to cheer you up. I don't know why you threw the random death comment in there, but if thats your prference, by all means.

Regardless, if you don't like the way you are, then change. It just takes a little bit o' willpower. Oh, and try to add the "e" in "have", please. It won't fix everything, but its a damn good start.

ok thanks i think