I never actually tried it but I had it all planned out... no way I would have
lived. I got help though. I told a friend how I was feeling then I told my
pastor then my mom. I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I went on happy
pills and to therapy for about two years after that.
Everyone has times in there life when they just don't want to do it anymore.
That's normal. What's bad is if that feeling goes on for weeks, months or even
years. During depression your mind is your greatest enemy... around others you
are fine but by yourself...
If you are having those thoughts... please get help. My record wasn't touched
cause I never actually tried it. Everyone was very kind to me and tried to be
understanding. It does surprise me how many people have had thoughts like that.
Saddens me too.
I trusted you!
How many times did you lie to me?
I thought our love would follow through,
We faught till night fall about you cheeting me,
I am alone now yelling our my sorrows screaming out my shame,
I hope by tomorrow there will be no more pain,
I grab myself a bear trying to drink down the tears,
In my mind my destiny becomes clear,
Walking to the bathroom to find a razer blade,
I sit starig at it hoping it will fade away,
I take the blade and cut up my rist,
One ong slice will make me die,
I clench my wrists and watch my blood drain,
I have no more strength to cry just this red flame,
My bodys getting cold,
It wont be long till my soul unfolds,
My eye sight is gone,
I guess the darkness is were I belong,
I take my last breath thinking of the only things that are left,
A bear, A body, A razer blade and my death.
Yeah, I wanted, when I was really depressed, but I never tried, though I was
thinking a lot about it. But then, like always the sun will rise after the
night, always there come happy things in our life, and cheer us up. So I just
always endured it, and then, after few hours or days, always something good
happened and I thought how stupid I was to even think about suicide... ^^
When I was young, I wanted to suicide quite often. Or more likely, I wanted to
die without doing it myself . Its
some painful memories. I cant understand that I even was thinking like that. Now
I dont even want to die. There is so much I will miss in this vast world.
Suicide is a bad thought, cause you never know if you will be saved. And if you
are really depressed and have tried to commit suicide but failed, then the
feeling being saved by something or someone just one time would be an awesome
feeling. I can image the feeling, but I dont even know if I have been saved yet.
I didnt even know when my thoughts about the life started to change when I were
a little kid. It just happened. Probably because of a friend of mine ^^. But
now, we barely talk
If you are depressed and cant get out of it, you are defeated. Dont give up
without a fight. I wouldnt like to lose if the only opponent was me. If you are
facing yourself, then you can win. Cause you know your own body and mind best.
(went kinda of topic...)
I was having suicidal thoughts from 6th grade up to 6 months ago ( I'm going to
8th grade now). I had transfered from a decent school into a bad public school.
I was picked on and beat up almost every day. On top of that, I didn't have
anyone to talk to. So, the stress started to pile up, the bullying was getting
worse, and because I had so much on my mind, and because I was so stressed out,
I could not consentrate on my school work, thus leading to mediocore grades.
Then when my report card came in and my mom saw my grades, she started to sream
at and critisize me. So when I go to school, I get picked on and beat up, then
when I come home, my mom yells at me and makes me feel like crap. At that point,
I was more than ready to take my own life. But then I discovered anime! YAY!
Anime has been my inspiration to live. Then a bleach search lead me here! Now I
live for anime and my friends at MT! So, in short, yes. I was an inch away from
becoming a lifeless carcass... Well, anyway, cheer up! Life can be fun! If you
need someone to talk to, I'll be your friend!
email- bdfordjr@yahoo.com. Cheer up, buddy!
Well everyone gets depressed and i'm sure suicide crosses everyones mind one
time or another. but like my mom thaught me you have to look to GOD, Family, and
Good Friends for all the help you need their always listening. but when things
get really bad sometime you do forget their are people their to help you beleive
me i know. But their there to help you when you in need.
I've been depressed plenty of times, but I've never wanted to commit suicide,
and would never inflict deliberate harm on myself.
Guess I just have a stronger will to live, and faith that the only constant in
life is Change.
merged: 09-26-2006 ~ 12:24am
Sherlain, if you think about suicide everyday, you know what that means don't
you?
It means...
... you're not eating enough jellybeans!
It's a scientifically proven fact that jellybeans actively lower depressive
sentiments among pretty young ecuadorian women. Just ask our latest case study!
- You know the one.
since 12 years ago, until 2 year ago.
well i have been wanted to kill my self. pity eh but now seems like its useless
even thought i kill my self it wouldn't solve a thing.
so then i decide than running away by thinking killing my self, it's better to
confront those problems. well it take me 10 years for me to think funny eh =_=.
Well since I was 5 years old up until a couple months ago I was depressed. I am
actually pretty lucky to be alive, I was suicidal during my early depression, I
also lived with my Mother's abusive boyfriend and he left a loaded gun on the
stairs. My whole family feared that I'd find it and kill myself. During my
depression I hardly talked and usually all I said was "I wish I was
dead." But somehow I managed to control myself and stay alive. I am doing
much better now. No one knows what got me
over my depression either.
Quote by MichaelWI've been depressed
plenty of times, but I've never wanted to commit suicide, and would never
inflict deliberate harm on myself.
merged: 09-28-2006 ~ 05:44am
maybe for u is more easy than 4 me....It's good to know that you wouldn't hurt
yourself
I never decided to have that kinda feelings...but I have them ....maybe I would
be easy to stop thinking about them ...but with nothing else to think about
......I think I don't have other option.
anyway......
About jellybeans thanxs for the advice ....but I 'm not gonna .... ..
....there are to many reasons for feeling depressed ...and believe me that I
wouldn't find a solution eating jellybeans....It could help but not at
all....but any way thanxs again...
Maybe to someone its stupid but i do thought it, for so many times. but its a
flash & not really i'll gonna kill myself.
when i was sad, something/someone disappointed me, or after fight with somebody
i'll start to think many things & wonder why im still here. but i cant left
everything behind. i still got many things to do. i still have my dreams...so
now im still here, reply to ur thread.
Quote by Sherlainmaybe for u is more
easy than 4 me....It's good to know that you wouldn't hurt
yourself
Or maybe it is exactly the same for me as it is for you, and you just gave
up.
Quote by SherlainI never decided to have
that kinda feelings...but I have them
You don't "decide" to think anything. It just happens, clearly there's
something in your life that's bringing up these thoughts from you, either
current or previously. - More than likely you know what it is.
Quote by Sherlain ....maybe I would be
easy to stop thinking about them ...but with nothing else to think about ......I
think I don't have other option.
You're right you don't have any other options, you can't just stop thinking
about it and sweep them under the rug, they're an expression of your present
situation and they need to be dealt with, not ignored.
Quote by SherlainAbout jellybeans thanxs
for the advice ....but I 'm not gonna ....
I wonder what your reason is:
A: The price of a packet of Jellybeans?
B: The impact such recklessly consumed Jellybeans could have?
Or C: The fear that the Jellybeans might
actually work and the simple reality that you don't really want to change at
all, you're used to your suicidal considerations and don't really care where
they lead?
Quote by Sherlain....there are to many
reasons for feeling depressed ...and believe me that I wouldn't find a solution
eating jellybeans....It could help but not at all....but any way thanxs again...
So you're saying that Jellybeans aren't
powerful enough to help you, and yet you're too scared to try them... how does
that work?
I would suggest that you are considering things the wrong way around, the
problem isn't with your situation in life, and you shouldn't be just waiting for
it to become solved and then think you'll be just fine!
The problem is with your VIEW of your life, your own perspective. There are
people who live similar lives to yours and DON'T contemplate suicide, I'm not
saying you don't have reason to, or that there wasn't something in your life
which triggered it, but I am saying that prolonged consideration of such macabre
topics is surely something that needs fixing in your personality, and, damnit!
Jellybeans are here to help!
I've thought of suicides lots of times only because no one wanted to be my
friend. But I guess that was my own fault; I am the shiest girl you'll ever
meet, but also the nicest ones. If someone is able to see through my guise, then
they're considered a friend to me.
One time I almost actually tried to choke myself. Other times I'd go in my
kitchen and randomly take out a knife and place it to my wrist. At the time I
didn't know what I was doing; I was crying too much to have noticed. But until
my boyfriend came along, I was a real mess. Now thanks to him I feel much better
about my attempts. Love is the best medicine, I think, for situations like
these.
I felt pretty down in the gutter sometimes. I do not really have many friends so
i have noone to console with so that kind of gets me down. I do though look at
the good aspects of my life to get me going again. Sure i wasted all the time in
school and maybe didn't get a grade i agreed with or people picked on me but i
thought about how i made my parents happy getting through school successfully,
got into a college, have a caring family, friends i do have are actually fun,
and other various "happy" thoughts. I never went to the point of
wanting to suicide myself though. I have a twisted philosophy on suiciders
though... but that won't be said
I never actually tried it but I had it all planned out... no way I would have lived. I got help though. I told a friend how I was feeling then I told my pastor then my mom. I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I went on happy pills and to therapy for about two years after that.
Everyone has times in there life when they just don't want to do it anymore. That's normal. What's bad is if that feeling goes on for weeks, months or even years. During depression your mind is your greatest enemy... around others you are fine but by yourself...
If you are having those thoughts... please get help. My record wasn't touched cause I never actually tried it. Everyone was very kind to me and tried to be understanding. It does surprise me how many people have had thoughts like that. Saddens me too.
I trusted you!
How many times did you lie to me?
I thought our love would follow through,
We faught till night fall about you cheeting me,
I am alone now yelling our my sorrows screaming out my shame,
I hope by tomorrow there will be no more pain,
I grab myself a bear trying to drink down the tears,
In my mind my destiny becomes clear,
Walking to the bathroom to find a razer blade,
I sit starig at it hoping it will fade away,
I take the blade and cut up my rist,
One ong slice will make me die,
I clench my wrists and watch my blood drain,
I have no more strength to cry just this red flame,
My bodys getting cold,
It wont be long till my soul unfolds,
My eye sight is gone,
I guess the darkness is were I belong,
I take my last breath thinking of the only things that are left,
A bear, A body, A razer blade and my death.
No way, When my thoughts even begin to go towards there, I always think that there is someone who is even worse off then I am.
Can't say that I have.
Nope, never will
Yeah, I wanted, when I was really depressed, but I never tried, though I was thinking a lot about it. But then, like always the sun will rise after the night, always there come happy things in our life, and cheer us up. So I just always endured it, and then, after few hours or days, always something good happened and I thought how stupid I was to even think about suicide... ^^
never =)
ok....a kind of envy around...
It´s good...maybe
When I was young, I wanted to suicide quite often. Or more likely, I wanted to die without doing it myself
. Its
some painful memories. I cant understand that I even was thinking like that. Now
I dont even want to die. There is so much I will miss in this vast world.
Suicide is a bad thought, cause you never know if you will be saved. And if you
are really depressed and have tried to commit suicide but failed, then the
feeling being saved by something or someone just one time would be an awesome
feeling. I can image the feeling, but I dont even know if I have been saved yet.
I didnt even know when my thoughts about the life started to change when I were
a little kid. It just happened. Probably because of a friend of mine ^^. But
now, we barely talk 
If you are depressed and cant get out of it, you are defeated. Dont give up without a fight. I wouldnt like to lose if the only opponent was me. If you are facing yourself, then you can win. Cause you know your own body and mind best. (went kinda of topic...)
yeah, like my dad wouldn't buy me a car, then i cryed. Then i thought "HEY!".
I was so disapointed i refused to eat for 2 weeks, then i got my car.
I was having suicidal thoughts from 6th grade up to 6 months ago ( I'm going to 8th grade now). I had transfered from a decent school into a bad public school. I was picked on and beat up almost every day. On top of that, I didn't have anyone to talk to. So, the stress started to pile up, the bullying was getting worse, and because I had so much on my mind, and because I was so stressed out, I could not consentrate on my school work, thus leading to mediocore grades. Then when my report card came in and my mom saw my grades, she started to sream at and critisize me. So when I go to school, I get picked on and beat up, then when I come home, my mom yells at me and makes me feel like crap. At that point, I was more than ready to take my own life. But then I discovered anime! YAY! Anime has been my inspiration to live. Then a bleach search lead me here! Now I live for anime and my friends at MT! So, in short, yes. I was an inch away from becoming a lifeless carcass... Well, anyway, cheer up! Life can be fun! If you need someone to talk to, I'll be your friend!
email- bdfordjr@yahoo.com. Cheer up, buddy!
yeah I thought a lot about it when my ex girlfriend cheated on me...but that's the past, I'm a happy person now!
@burnoutboy
really touching story!
If you need someone to talk you can e-mail me: Vantavo@gmx.de
It could be posible that someone think about suicide everyday...?
yes it could be I'm one...
If i smile it doesnt mean that I'm happy
Well everyone gets depressed and i'm sure suicide crosses everyones mind one time or another. but like my mom thaught me you have to look to GOD, Family, and Good Friends for all the help you need their always listening. but when things get really bad sometime you do forget their are people their to help you beleive me i know. But their there to help you when you in need.
I HOPE THIS HELPS ANYONE WHO READS IT.
.... Two words.....Suicide Bomber... Hell yes I've thought it over. But I've never done it.. but I have hurt myself in violent ways..
I've been depressed plenty of times, but I've never wanted to commit suicide, and would never inflict deliberate harm on myself.
Guess I just have a stronger will to live, and faith that the only constant in life is Change.
merged: 09-26-2006 ~ 12:24am
Sherlain, if you think about suicide everyday, you know what that means don't you?
It means...
... you're not eating enough jellybeans! It's a scientifically proven fact that jellybeans actively lower depressive sentiments among pretty young ecuadorian women. Just ask our latest case study! - You know the one.
i thought of it once.. i really feel like dying, but now i think suicide is for weak people... i mean i won't just throw away my life that easily!
since 12 years ago, until 2 year ago.
well i have been wanted to kill my self. pity eh but now seems like its useless
even thought i kill my self it wouldn't solve a thing.
so then i decide than running away by thinking killing my self, it's better to confront those problems. well it take me 10 years for me to think funny eh =_=.
Well since I was 5 years old up until a couple months ago I was depressed. I am actually pretty lucky to be alive, I was suicidal during my early depression, I also lived with my Mother's abusive boyfriend and he left a loaded gun on the stairs. My whole family feared that I'd find it and kill myself. During my depression I hardly talked and usually all I said was "I wish I was dead." But somehow I managed to control myself and stay alive. I am doing much better now. No one knows what got me over my depression either.
Maybe to someone its stupid but i do thought it, for so many times. but its a flash & not really i'll gonna kill myself.
when i was sad, something/someone disappointed me, or after fight with somebody i'll start to think many things & wonder why im still here. but i cant left everything behind. i still got many things to do. i still have my dreams...so now im still here, reply to ur thread.
Or maybe it is exactly the same for me as it is for you, and you just gave up.
You don't "decide" to think anything. It just happens, clearly there's something in your life that's bringing up these thoughts from you, either current or previously. - More than likely you know what it is.
You're right you don't have any other options, you can't just stop thinking about it and sweep them under the rug, they're an expression of your present situation and they need to be dealt with, not ignored.
I wonder what your reason is:
A: The price of a packet of Jellybeans?
B: The impact such recklessly consumed Jellybeans could have?
Or C: The fear that the Jellybeans might actually work and the simple reality that you don't really want to change at all, you're used to your suicidal considerations and don't really care where they lead?
So you're saying that Jellybeans aren't powerful enough to help you, and yet you're too scared to try them... how does that work?
I would suggest that you are considering things the wrong way around, the problem isn't with your situation in life, and you shouldn't be just waiting for it to become solved and then think you'll be just fine!
The problem is with your VIEW of your life, your own perspective. There are people who live similar lives to yours and DON'T contemplate suicide, I'm not saying you don't have reason to, or that there wasn't something in your life which triggered it, but I am saying that prolonged consideration of such macabre topics is surely something that needs fixing in your personality, and, damnit! Jellybeans are here to help!
Give them a go.
I've thought of suicides lots of times only because no one wanted to be my friend. But I guess that was my own fault; I am the shiest girl you'll ever meet, but also the nicest ones. If someone is able to see through my guise, then they're considered a friend to me.
One time I almost actually tried to choke myself. Other times I'd go in my kitchen and randomly take out a knife and place it to my wrist. At the time I didn't know what I was doing; I was crying too much to have noticed. But until my boyfriend came along, I was a real mess. Now thanks to him I feel much better about my attempts. Love is the best medicine, I think, for situations like these.
I felt pretty down in the gutter sometimes. I do not really have many friends so i have noone to console with so that kind of gets me down. I do though look at the good aspects of my life to get me going again. Sure i wasted all the time in school and maybe didn't get a grade i agreed with or people picked on me but i thought about how i made my parents happy getting through school successfully, got into a college, have a caring family, friends i do have are actually fun, and other various "happy" thoughts. I never went to the point of wanting to suicide myself though. I have a twisted philosophy on suiciders though... but that won't be said