I don't know if this has happenned to you, but to me it did. I've got recently
to a new school, and at first, everyone talked with me, but then the months
passed, time passed and passed. After 3 months, I've seen that NO ONE IS TALKING TO ME! I'm
desperate and don't know what to do in order to get friends!
And, I was with a group. I was following the girls, but then, in one of their
notebooks, I've seen this: "Look at poor Elza, she's so lonely and with no
one to talk to her..." and then, with other font type, it said: "Yeah?
So, if you feel bad, go and sit with her, then" "Yes, that's a shame
but not to the extreme, please"
And a girl with whom I thought she was a good friend, wrote with her font type:
"I think that she is kind of weird... she keeps following me... that makes
me feel scared..." like I'm some kind of a weirdo girl...
I don't know... how can I change my presonality ito a new one in order to make
friends in my new school! I've got friends in the other... but I don't feel like
accostumed to the new one.. plz help meh!
First, find out why there's no one who talks to you..
Is it because of your behaviour, your appearance, or because everyone in that
school has different personalities that can't match with yours?
After finding the reason, I believe you can either match your personalities with
them or find new friends that are not your group before.. (Be brave and talk
first to others, don't wait until someone came to you because they pity you)
Please don't go changing yourself just to fit in. I don't think it's a good idea
to present yourself falsely just so people will accept you, because that kind of
acceptance is based on a veil of deceit (since you're not being true to who you
are). Friends should like you, not who
you pretend to be.
I would suggest following the second part of Ull's last statement. If these
current friends don't appreciate your personality then find others that will.
Schools are large places, and there are bound to be some people that will match
with who you are, and can relate to you as you can relate to them.
Quote by FatalEdgePlease don't go
changing yourself just to fit in. I don't think it's a good idea to present
yourself falsely just so people will accept you, because that kind of acceptance
is based on a veil of deceit (since you're not being true to who you are).
Friends should like you, not who you
pretend to be.
I would suggest following the second part of Ull's last statement. If these
current friends don't appreciate your personality then find others that will.
Schools are large places, and there are bound to be some people that will match
with who you are, and can relate to you as you can relate to
them.
Couldn't have said it better myself. School is indeed a
big place. If this one group of girls don't like you, there will be another
group that will surely accept you for who you are. Like FatalEdge said, DO NOT
GO CHANGING WHO YOU ARE! If you do, that'll mean you have to constantly keep up
that facade, and that's not who you are. Best of luck to you.
Another thing you might want to consider is the fact that everyone's already in
their little groups.
I've had a similar problem when I was in primary school and even in high school-
it was way harder in primary school though
I guess you shouldn't worry too much about changing yourself: there's no use in
changing yourself because it's not you. If they are your true friends, they
should be your friends because of who you are, not because of who you
become.
You can probably sort of the people and figure out who is more friendlier. Ask
them if you could sit with them, or hang around with them at lunch times.
I hope that things will turn out for the better for you soon! *hugs*
This happened to me too! I just got into a new high school as a sophomore. It
was really hard because everyone already formed their groups or friendships from
freshman year. It was very hard for me to become accustomed because I missed my
own friends from my previous high school. I felt really out of place and didn't
know who I should associate myself with. All the people I already knew were in
different classes and I was at loss at what I should do. I also thought
"maybe if I can change, people will like me better or at least talk to
me." I decided against that and I said to myself i'm going to make it work!
I just started talking to more new people and soon I made a few new friends. Of
course, a few were just acquaintances/classmates.
I used to be confused.. if they talk to me then we must be friends. I learned
there was a difference. In order to make friends, it takes time. I suggest that
you don't change your personality. Just talk to people and over time i'm sure
you're going to make a few new buddies to hang with. I hope this helped!
Something similar happened to me a while ago. I moved to this house a few years
ago from California and I had no friends. I had no friends but I didn't rush it.
I knew it would come in time, and I think in time you will have new friends. But
I don't think you should change your personality to get friends. If you can't
have friends and be yourself, then perhaps they aren't your real friends. But I
have faith in you ^_^
Definitely join a club or two! That's probably the best way to find people with
the same interests as you. Just get to know some people, and make it happen from
there.
Quote by FatalEdgePlease don't go
changing yourself just to fit in. I don't think it's a good idea to present
yourself falsely just so people will accept you, because that kind of acceptance
is based on a veil of deceit (since you're not being true to who you are).
Friends should like you, not who you
pretend to be.
I would suggest following the second part of Ull's last statement. If these
current friends don't appreciate your personality then find others that will.
Schools are large places, and there are bound to be some people that will match
with who you are, and can relate to you as you can relate to
them.
Yeah don't change, it'll just end up like a movie.
Somone's waiting for you to meet them. + You'll always have the MT family here
to talk to. Like me!
I got the same problem in High school,i spent 3 YEARS! alone in school with no
friends....you ask me why?;well because i chose the bad friends at the first
time(even that we had the same interests), i remember that they were doing nasty
things in school then it's me who take all the punishement,until they abandoned
me because i didn't helped them in exams,so just an advice: you should know how
to choose your friends ^^
Well, the most important things have been said... just one thing: Like many
already said, don't change yourself just in order to fit in... but if you were
unsatisfied with a bad habbit of yours or the like, then you could see this
situation as an opportunity to change this...
Even though others already said/implied this: The people you mentioned who
talked about in those notes are certainly *not* your friends... especially the
one you considered a good friend...
Cheer up, though! Like an old aquaintance of mine said: There is *always*
somebody who shares similar intersts and views - there will be someone you can
be friends with... if not in your class, then maybe in one of the parallel
classes...
Hang in there
*hug*
well, it's so sad for being like that
T.T i've had some bad experiences too, with my bestfriends... dont change ur
personality. just thinking why they dont like u, and change ur negative side
< i didnt tell if u hav one =)
usually, a new comer in high school will be ignored, but soon after that, after
they know u better, they will be good friends of u ^__^
*hugs*
I wasn't sure I'd make friends in college. I went to Life Skills class because
my brother said it's worth it. But I made a good impression on the first day.
Somehow I became the baby brother of the class? They all think Im so innocent
and stuff, aside from the dangerous part witth martial arts! Dont change! Unless
for the better! You don't... randomly insult or nag people do you? Words a
need to be marked and shoes need to be avoided sometimes. As teyemanon said...
About changing bad habits, yes? It's definitely a group thing in secondary
school for me... some I avoid like the plague as I have absolutely nothing to
talk about with them.
I know how that feels. I was really lonely my first year in highschool, since a
lot of people had their friends from elementary, and formed their own groups
quickly. I was pretty shy then, and came out of my shell more later on, but it
was already a bit late- by second year, I was still pretty alone. I did want to
get to know them, but it's always harder year by year. Of course, I had a couple
people I did care for, my bf and bf but that was it. Plus, they argued a lot...
I knew I had to get to know other people too. I couldn't stay with the guys
forever, all they talked about were video games ><
Try to get involved- if it's a group project, or a sit anywhere you want day,
etc, sit beside them, or get them as a partner for a project! Trust me, that
worked... my cooking partner and me got to know eachother, and though it may
sound odd, she was like a gateway to her group. Since I knew her, she offered me
to sit beside her in another class, and I got to talk to her friends! To be
honest, I did change, but naturally. You'll have to smile, laugh maybe a bit
more than you like at first, but a happy person is much more appealing than a
depressed one, no offense. They're all nice people, even though I don't know
them all really well yet.. we're still classmates for most of them, but I know
that I'll get to know them all next year, since I was offered lockers with them!
well the most importent thing is to allways be true to ur self.
i spent most of my school days in the shadows of my classmates
then i started ackting lick an asshol to get the others to see me in hope to get
some friends and trust me whan i say u dont wanna do that.
well anyways im sure ull get some nice friends at ur new school
Oh, I'm sorry if things are this way. But I think that, changing your
personality to make new friends will just ake you lie to yourself. If this
little girls doesn't have guts to say " please , don't hang out with us
" on your face, they don't deserve the work of getting angry. Just, take
some time to yourself. Group projects are very good to know new people. In
college, I had the same fear. I met my bestfriend there. Don't worry. everything
will be fine.
The school is big, just wait and find the people that you can feel comfortably
with. Don't change yourself to please others, just please yourself. Join clubs
and strike conversation with the least person you expect yourself to be talking
to, they might turn out to be a very good friend.
The thing is that these girl that I thouhgt was my new "friend" is now
one of those that makes laugh of me... not because of my appearance... (well, I
can0t say I'm beautiful, but I'm NOT ugly, too... see by yourselves in my
userpage. There's my photo)... because of everything I do or act!
I got another friend, too... but her other friends and I don't hae the same
interest, and we dont have anything in common.... then what should I do now! I'm
in big traumma!
Quote by Azle-chan
The thing is that these girl that I thouhgt was my new "friend" is now
one of those that makes laugh of me... not because of my appearance... (well, I
can0t say I'm beautiful, but I'm NOT ugly, too... see by yourselves in my
userpage. There's my photo)... because of everything I do or act!
What did you do or act so they makes laugh of you?
Quote by Azle-chan
I got another friend, too... but her other friends and I don't hae the same
interest, and we dont have anything in common.... then what should I do now! I'm
in big traumma!
How many person do you have in your classroom?
I think it's not that hard to find some people with the same interest..
Btw, AppleInsight has some nice advices..
And congratz for meeting new friends..
Quote by alph4well anyways im sure ull get
some nice friends at ur new school
And what excatly do you mean by that?
hehehe, just kidding..
Hello, Minitokyo people;
I don't know if this has happenned to you, but to me it did. I've got recently to a new school, and at first, everyone talked with me, but then the months passed, time passed and passed. After 3 months, I've seen that NO ONE IS TALKING TO ME! I'm desperate and don't know what to do in order to get friends!
And, I was with a group. I was following the girls, but then, in one of their notebooks, I've seen this: "Look at poor Elza, she's so lonely and with no one to talk to her..." and then, with other font type, it said: "Yeah? So, if you feel bad, go and sit with her, then" "Yes, that's a shame but not to the extreme, please"
And a girl with whom I thought she was a good friend, wrote with her font type: "I think that she is kind of weird... she keeps following me... that makes me feel scared..." like I'm some kind of a weirdo girl...
I don't know... how can I change my presonality ito a new one in order to make friends in my new school! I've got friends in the other... but I don't feel like accostumed to the new one.. plz help meh!
Elza
First, find out why there's no one who talks to you..
Is it because of your behaviour, your appearance, or because everyone in that school has different personalities that can't match with yours?
After finding the reason, I believe you can either match your personalities with them or find new friends that are not your group before.. (Be brave and talk first to others, don't wait until someone came to you because they pity you)
Please don't go changing yourself just to fit in. I don't think it's a good idea to present yourself falsely just so people will accept you, because that kind of acceptance is based on a veil of deceit (since you're not being true to who you are). Friends should like you, not who you pretend to be.
I would suggest following the second part of Ull's last statement. If these current friends don't appreciate your personality then find others that will. Schools are large places, and there are bound to be some people that will match with who you are, and can relate to you as you can relate to them.
Couldn't have said it better myself. School is indeed a big place. If this one group of girls don't like you, there will be another group that will surely accept you for who you are. Like FatalEdge said, DO NOT GO CHANGING WHO YOU ARE! If you do, that'll mean you have to constantly keep up that facade, and that's not who you are. Best of luck to you.
Another thing you might want to consider is the fact that everyone's already in their little groups.
I've had a similar problem when I was in primary school and even in high school- it was way harder in primary school though
I guess you shouldn't worry too much about changing yourself: there's no use in changing yourself because it's not you. If they are your true friends, they should be your friends because of who you are, not because of who you become.
You can probably sort of the people and figure out who is more friendlier. Ask them if you could sit with them, or hang around with them at lunch times.
I hope that things will turn out for the better for you soon! *hugs*
Go find someone that likes the same thing as you. Half my friends at school came from common interest in Zelda, music, or both. xDDD
Are you expressing yourself or just holing yourself up? That may be a problem...
merged: 06-24-2007 ~ 09:35am
I'm probably not the best person for advice, as I'm pretty much a loner in school.
This happened to me too! I just got into a new high school as a sophomore. It was really hard because everyone already formed their groups or friendships from freshman year. It was very hard for me to become accustomed because I missed my own friends from my previous high school. I felt really out of place and didn't know who I should associate myself with. All the people I already knew were in different classes and I was at loss at what I should do. I also thought "maybe if I can change, people will like me better or at least talk to me." I decided against that and I said to myself i'm going to make it work! I just started talking to more new people and soon I made a few new friends. Of course, a few were just acquaintances/classmates.
I used to be confused.. if they talk to me then we must be friends. I learned there was a difference. In order to make friends, it takes time. I suggest that you don't change your personality. Just talk to people and over time i'm sure you're going to make a few new buddies to hang with. I hope this helped!
Something similar happened to me a while ago. I moved to this house a few years ago from California and I had no friends. I had no friends but I didn't rush it. I knew it would come in time, and I think in time you will have new friends. But I don't think you should change your personality to get friends. If you can't have friends and be yourself, then perhaps they aren't your real friends. But I have faith in you ^_^
Definitely join a club or two! That's probably the best way to find people with the same interests as you. Just get to know some people, and make it happen from there.
Yeah don't change, it'll just end up like a movie. Somone's waiting for you to meet them. + You'll always have the MT family here to talk to. Like me!
I got the same problem in High school,i spent 3 YEARS! alone in school with no friends....you ask me why?;well because i chose the bad friends at the first time(even that we had the same interests), i remember that they were doing nasty things in school then it's me who take all the punishement,until they abandoned me because i didn't helped them in exams,so just an advice: you should know how to choose your friends ^^
Well, the most important things have been said... just one thing: Like many already said, don't change yourself just in order to fit in... but if you were unsatisfied with a bad habbit of yours or the like, then you could see this situation as an opportunity to change this...
*hug*
Even though others already said/implied this: The people you mentioned who talked about in those notes are certainly *not* your friends... especially the one you considered a good friend...
Cheer up, though! Like an old aquaintance of mine said: There is *always* somebody who shares similar intersts and views - there will be someone you can be friends with... if not in your class, then maybe in one of the parallel classes...
Hang in there
well, it's so sad for being like that
T.T i've had some bad experiences too, with my bestfriends... dont change ur
personality. just thinking why they dont like u, and change ur negative side
< i didnt tell if u hav one =)
usually, a new comer in high school will be ignored, but soon after that, after they know u better, they will be good friends of u ^__^
*hugs*
I wasn't sure I'd make friends in college. I went to Life Skills class because my brother said it's worth it. But I made a good impression on the first day. Somehow I became the baby brother of the class? They all think Im so innocent and stuff, aside from the dangerous part witth martial arts! Dont change! Unless for the better! You don't... randomly insult or nag people do you? Words a
need to be marked and shoes need to be avoided sometimes. As teyemanon said... About changing bad habits, yes? It's definitely a group thing in secondary school for me... some I avoid like the plague as I have absolutely nothing to talk about with them.
I know how that feels. I was really lonely my first year in highschool, since a lot of people had their friends from elementary, and formed their own groups quickly. I was pretty shy then, and came out of my shell more later on, but it was already a bit late- by second year, I was still pretty alone. I did want to get to know them, but it's always harder year by year. Of course, I had a couple people I did care for, my bf and bf but that was it. Plus, they argued a lot... I knew I had to get to know other people too. I couldn't stay with the guys forever, all they talked about were video games ><
Try to get involved- if it's a group project, or a sit anywhere you want day, etc, sit beside them, or get them as a partner for a project! Trust me, that worked... my cooking partner and me got to know eachother, and though it may sound odd, she was like a gateway to her group. Since I knew her, she offered me to sit beside her in another class, and I got to talk to her friends! To be honest, I did change, but naturally. You'll have to smile, laugh maybe a bit more than you like at first, but a happy person is much more appealing than a depressed one, no offense. They're all nice people, even though I don't know them all really well yet.. we're still classmates for most of them, but I know that I'll get to know them all next year, since I was offered lockers with them!
well the most importent thing is to allways be true to ur self.
i spent most of my school days in the shadows of my classmates
then i started ackting lick an asshol to get the others to see me in hope to get some friends and trust me whan i say u dont wanna do that.
well anyways im sure ull get some nice friends at ur new school
Yeah ! That's right! Thank you all guys for your replies! Those advices really worked out a lot! Thanxs for all!
Now, the girl in which I didn't care for at first, has become one of my friends!
The easiest way to make friends is to become genuinely interested in and open to them ^_-
Well, it's good that everything turned out well for you! Cherish your friend and nothing will go wrong now! Glad we could help
Oh, I'm sorry if things are this way. But I think that, changing your personality to make new friends will just ake you lie to yourself. If this little girls doesn't have guts to say " please , don't hang out with us " on your face, they don't deserve the work of getting angry. Just, take some time to yourself. Group projects are very good to know new people. In college, I had the same fear. I met my bestfriend there. Don't worry. everything will be fine.
The school is big, just wait and find the people that you can feel comfortably with. Don't change yourself to please others, just please yourself. Join clubs and strike conversation with the least person you expect yourself to be talking to, they might turn out to be a very good friend.
Well... hi!
The thing is that these girl that I thouhgt was my new "friend" is now one of those that makes laugh of me... not because of my appearance... (well, I can0t say I'm beautiful, but I'm NOT ugly, too... see by yourselves in my userpage. There's my photo)... because of everything I do or act!
I got another friend, too... but her other friends and I don't hae the same interest, and we dont have anything in common.... then what should I do now! I'm in big traumma!
Elza
What did you do or act so they makes laugh of you?
How many person do you have in your classroom?
I think it's not that hard to find some people with the same interest..
Btw, AppleInsight has some nice advices..
And congratz for meeting new friends..
And what excatly do you mean by that?
hehehe, just kidding..