Hello pplz^^
First off i was talking to a girl who shall remain anonymous lol, she said there
was this guy who liked her but she wont respond to him. i told her thats it
cruel to leave him hanging. she said she doesnt get it. i explain as best i
could that if u dont like him its best to just say no so that the guy could just
move on rather than leaving him hanging because at least the guy could move on.
she still didnt get it (sigh). so i kinda role played it. i sed "lets say i
luv u and u dont luv me, i confess but u dont give me a response" then i
said its the HOPE that hurts the person, that hope that keeps them hanging in
there. she said hope is good though which it is but i said it can still hurt
people.
So basically what i was trying to explain is that letting the person hope and
keep suffering
even though u noe ull never like them is cruel.
My description of the feeling: "the world; slowly fading as a road comes
before you. the world outside this road is just like a blur each feeling of joy
is fleeting because u noe ur still travelling on this road and u dont know when
it will end. you keep walking despite how tired you get til you get to the end
of the road"
Basically lol what im saying is that enrequited love sometimes consumes you and
each day that passes makes this "love" more important to u. everything
else doesnt seem as fun anymore and each laughter only sounds like an echo
slowly fading then back again to the reality of your situation, but the funny
thing is ud keep feeling like this because you think each step you think would
bring into your horizon that image of the end of the road or simply put that she
would love u if u w8 for just another day.
not all love is like this and its not like htis for some people. but what im
saying to that girl is that HOPE isnt really a good thing at times and its best
to cut the guy that likes her loose.
lol so let me noe what you think of the situation or wether you think hoping in
this situation is a good thing^^ sorry for it being os long i got carried away
Anyways, I think it really depends. Some people might get seriously hurt if the
answer is no, whether it'd be a guy or girl. But like you said, on the other
hand, giving an answer will allow the person to move on, and clear the tension.
In your case, I think it really depends on what the girl believes is best. If
she doesn't like him, there's a possibility that she either doesn't want to hurt
his feelings, or that she doesn't know how to tell him without hurting his
feeilngs much. If she's neutral, then she's probably just hanging there, seeing
how it'll go. After all, she doesn't know the guy, so she doesn't know if she'll
like him or not. Kinda like my situation. I confessed before (sorta, through a
letter), but hasn't gotton a response yet. I don't know her that well, neither
does she know me that well. So...you know...we're kinda unsure where we're
heading if we do get together.
If she does like him...well, she'll give him a response.
I guess...just don't force an opinion on her. She'll tell him once she makes up
her mind. ^^
Hmmm, it really depends. Hope is good and bad, (though most people don't know
it) and though unrequited love is probably one of the few things that just
possesses you into a sort of oddly curious or eager state. Though it sometimes
may lead to depression. Though yes, usually the person who confesses is left
"hanging" but you have to think that the person who's been confessed
to has a few choices in which she/he may not want to be so direct or doesn't
want to hurt their feelings. Also, like what Heaven-Phoenix said, sometimes
they're unsure about it so they see how it goes.
Be upfront. Its always better in the long run.
Say yes you are interested, no your not interested, or you don't know.
Do not bow to pressure to try to "let them down easy" as this usually
backfires but do be polite unless they become obsessed and then its OK to whip
out the Tazer.
Hope or not, it really depends.
I've seen things happen, i seen rejections AND accepting turn to obsessions.
Mnemeth, lend me your tazer.
StrayCloud, what you described isn't always true but it's however you think
about it. Well, just encourage her to give a response, if she doesn't and
something turns out wrong, just support her.
oh, it's was a very "straight-to-the-point" description u gave to that
person.
well, in my opinion, it's just wrong of her to not mind someone hoping, coz it's
actually "cold" in my sense, but also it's at the same time not her
fault too coz the guy himself should just let go and let himself move on and not
just cling to what u just can't have.
lol, then again, people always want what they can't have i guess.
then again, maybe the girl herself isn't showing any signs of not wanting the
guy too(as in she may be flirtatious around him, so how could that drive him
away or show him that, "back off" or simply just "move on",
so it would be unfair and not his fault too for still clinging on.
and if the clinging would just end up hurting him, she must end his torments by
going up to him and discussing the fact that she doesn't love him or just say
"please don't fall in love with me coz it will end up hurting u since only
one likes the other and not the both of us."
anyways it was a proper way on how u described it all StrayCloud~san, very
interesting too actually.
It is true, If hope is used for so long it can give a great deal of pain, if the
person belived something so long does not come true. Being beaten would be less
painful Than having a long term Depresion, Hate,and doubt. The only benifit from
this would be the Knowleged learned from this, how hope should be used but even
then it is something no person should feel, go through, or fall so hard from.
Hello pplz^^
First off i was talking to a girl who shall remain anonymous lol, she said there was this guy who liked her but she wont respond to him. i told her thats it cruel to leave him hanging. she said she doesnt get it. i explain as best i could that if u dont like him its best to just say no so that the guy could just move on rather than leaving him hanging because at least the guy could move on. she still didnt get it (sigh). so i kinda role played it. i sed "lets say i luv u and u dont luv me, i confess but u dont give me a response" then i said its the HOPE that hurts the person, that hope that keeps them hanging in there. she said hope is good though which it is but i said it can still hurt people.
So basically what i was trying to explain is that letting the person hope and keep suffering
even though u noe ull never like them is cruel.
My description of the feeling: "the world; slowly fading as a road comes before you. the world outside this road is just like a blur each feeling of joy is fleeting because u noe ur still travelling on this road and u dont know when it will end. you keep walking despite how tired you get til you get to the end of the road"
Basically lol what im saying is that enrequited love sometimes consumes you and each day that passes makes this "love" more important to u. everything else doesnt seem as fun anymore and each laughter only sounds like an echo slowly fading then back again to the reality of your situation, but the funny thing is ud keep feeling like this because you think each step you think would bring into your horizon that image of the end of the road or simply put that she would love u if u w8 for just another day.
not all love is like this and its not like htis for some people. but what im saying to that girl is that HOPE isnt really a good thing at times and its best to cut the guy that likes her loose.
lol so let me noe what you think of the situation or wether you think hoping in this situation is a good thing^^ sorry for it being os long i got carried away
Your wording was a bit confusing at points.
Anyways, I think it really depends. Some people might get seriously hurt if the answer is no, whether it'd be a guy or girl. But like you said, on the other hand, giving an answer will allow the person to move on, and clear the tension. In your case, I think it really depends on what the girl believes is best. If she doesn't like him, there's a possibility that she either doesn't want to hurt his feelings, or that she doesn't know how to tell him without hurting his feeilngs much. If she's neutral, then she's probably just hanging there, seeing how it'll go. After all, she doesn't know the guy, so she doesn't know if she'll like him or not. Kinda like my situation. I confessed before (sorta, through a letter), but hasn't gotton a response yet. I don't know her that well, neither does she know me that well. So...you know...we're kinda unsure where we're heading if we do get together.
If she does like him...well, she'll give him a response.
I guess...just don't force an opinion on her. She'll tell him once she makes up her mind. ^^
Hmmm, it really depends. Hope is good and bad, (though most people don't know it) and though unrequited love is probably one of the few things that just possesses you into a sort of oddly curious or eager state. Though it sometimes may lead to depression. Though yes, usually the person who confesses is left "hanging" but you have to think that the person who's been confessed to has a few choices in which she/he may not want to be so direct or doesn't want to hurt their feelings. Also, like what Heaven-Phoenix said, sometimes they're unsure about it so they see how it goes.
hey stray cloud! jeannette here! i agree with them
Be upfront. Its always better in the long run.
Say yes you are interested, no your not interested, or you don't know.
Do not bow to pressure to try to "let them down easy" as this usually backfires but do be polite unless they become obsessed and then its OK to whip out the Tazer.
there is always hope. but being realistic i think that girl should get over him
thats the best for her!
Hope or not, it really depends.
I've seen things happen, i seen rejections AND accepting turn to obsessions. Mnemeth, lend me your tazer.
StrayCloud, what you described isn't always true but it's however you think about it. Well, just encourage her to give a response, if she doesn't and something turns out wrong, just support her.
oh, it's was a very "straight-to-the-point" description u gave to that person.
well, in my opinion, it's just wrong of her to not mind someone hoping, coz it's actually "cold" in my sense, but also it's at the same time not her fault too coz the guy himself should just let go and let himself move on and not just cling to what u just can't have.
lol, then again, people always want what they can't have i guess.
then again, maybe the girl herself isn't showing any signs of not wanting the guy too(as in she may be flirtatious around him, so how could that drive him away or show him that, "back off" or simply just "move on", so it would be unfair and not his fault too for still clinging on.
and if the clinging would just end up hurting him, she must end his torments by going up to him and discussing the fact that she doesn't love him or just say "please don't fall in love with me coz it will end up hurting u since only one likes the other and not the both of us."
anyways it was a proper way on how u described it all StrayCloud~san, very interesting too actually.
~ja ne.
Destroy and move on I say.
merged: 08-23-2007 ~ 09:00am
Destroy meaning take off the feelings and kill it.
yeah she should tell him if she does not like him. even if it might hurt him he needs to know so he can move on in his own time.
It is true, If hope is used for so long it can give a great deal of pain, if the person belived something so long does not come true. Being beaten would be less painful Than having a long term Depresion, Hate,and doubt. The only benifit from this would be the Knowleged learned from this, how hope should be used but even then it is something no person should feel, go through, or fall so hard from.
da girl is so lucky
lol
merged: 08-25-2007 ~ 01:33pm
the guy is stupid, he should leave
How is the guy stupid if its the girl that left him hanging? He never got any answers and it makes him stupid?
AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT SEES THIS S_)_!