It was a terrifying transfer student from the city to my school. The place that
I used to live is a countryside where I've met her for the first time. She, the
new student, Yup, I knew she's a special girl at the first sight. Being at the
young age, it was in primary school, I'm not even dare to speak with her as I
was known as the most quiet and shy student in the class. I was infatuated by
her during that time. She's not a very beautiful girl and already known as a
tomboyish one in my class. My strong feeling towards her just acting on my
impulse. I did not take any action but to observe her everyday, trying to know
her more on my own. I won't ask more and just satisfied by that as long as I can
contact with her, even it was just looking at her.
After six years studying at the primary school, I was 12 at that time,
registered to a secondary school. To my surprise, she also got the same school
and same class with me. I still had the strong feeling towards her but I knew it
was just a puppy love just as what my form teacher told me during primary
school. As long as I can see her daily, it was more than enough. I never speak
to her once even we were classmate for years.
However, last year, she was just sitting behind me in the class. I knew, I gotta
control my feeling towards her. I put lots of effort and was able to get her msn
and knew that she likes to surf internet. I was too afraid to face her at the
first time, so I used my friend's account to prank her in the msn. I was a
computer elite and always help her to solve her computer problems. I was managed
to entertain her and trying not to fill her with boredom. After some time, I
finally can chat with her using my own account and like a man.
I knew I'm a boring person. I tried to change my personality in order to flatter
to her interest towards me. I tried my very best to change her perception
towards me from the beginning. This plan was not successful somehow as I never
socialize with the girls in my class. But I never give up, I squeeze my brain up
so that I can bring something new to her each time her online. On the other
hand, I was afraid of showing too much my infatuation towards her. Every second,
I've to pretend not to show too much care about her. I was scared of getting
hurt by her.
Time goes very fast, I was very intimate with her in the Internet but we never
talk at school. It lasted for one year and 2 months. I was over the moon. I'm
telling myself not to get over the head for this but still I used up my savings
to get a mobile phone and trying to sms her and fill her life with the my
existence. It was during last month, we smsed each other a lot and I confessed
my feeling towards her. She was surprised but she never wants to comment about
this and told me that she's not believed. I preferred not to rush things on
this, I tried to fulfill her every request and wanted to be a man who can look
after her for her whole life. Every night I'll say 'Good Night' to her via sms
because I know she always late to bed. It's not good for her. And it's just a
matter of time for her to believe me. That's what I think that time.
It was unfortunate but during courting process, I hurt her very deeply. And not
only one time, but more than twice. At first, I was letting others reading my
message between her. It's unfair for her, I know that. But then, she borrowed me
her school project to me, it's a shame but I never seems like appreciating her
own works and borrowed to my friends. That's for the second sin I made. But the
most deadly is on this Thursday I scolded her and forcefully treated her like a
traitor for our relationship for unknown reasons. She scored magnificent results
each time during the examination and emerged as the first place of my class. I
always depressed and thought that I wasn't good enough for her. Until I heard
some rumors about she's saying bad things behind me. I was insane. I put
everything into this relationship but I got such thing. As a result, I scolded
her and being very crude to her. But I knew I was wrong, the rumor I heard is
never existed before. I like her very much, Yup, It was already six years since
I'm infatuated by her. Because of her, I learn arts and we managed to attend art
lesson together. Because of her, I became a active member in Red Crescent
Society. And for her sake, I vowed to myself to pass my examination with flying
colors.
I smsed her since then, asking for forgiveness from her. I love her. Dammit, I
know I love her, but why did I hurt her? I was letting her know that I cannot
live my life without her, I can't sleep during nights, can't eat during meal
time, I was reminiscing the happy memory between us. However, today, She smsed
me and asked me to take things easy like she has forgave me. She stated that she
doesn't know how to face this predicament anymore. Apparently, I know she's
still angry with me, I know it from her tone. Even she online and at school, she
is just taking me like invisible. No matter how many messages I sent her, she is
just replied me with 'Whatever'.
I know I hurt her deeply. But I do love her. Now and Forever. I'm asking for the
last chance from her. I would like to redeem myself. I remembered the moment
that we shared, there's no way I'll let her go or give her up. She's the most
wonderful piece of the puzzle of my heart. I love her more than anything else.
I'm bad in expressing myself. As a result, I never let her know what I've done
for her for these years. She just knew that I love her. Well, it's very vague to
her it seems. Yeah, I'll be 16 in this coming November. I don't care whether
this is a puppy love or what, I only know I love her.
Can someone teaches me how to cope with this? I don't even know what decision to
make anymore. I don't want to lose her. But what I can do now? I just can't
think of the life without her. I was breathing in anguish. I apologizes for my
poor English. English is not my mother language. Sorry if you think this post is
a boring one. Thanks for helping anyway.
Well, the first thing I want to say is I look up to you. You've managed to keep
strong even after so much. This is a really hard situation, and I'm not sure
what to do. Please don't follow my advice unless you completely agree with me.
This is because in my past, I've made mistakes with the girl I love, and she
only likes me as a friend. Sometimes, though it feels like she's avoiding me
because of those mistakes.
If I were in your situation, I would build up my courage and confidence. I would
find her in school maybe during lunch time and go to her. Then I would talk to
her, making sure she pays attention. I would say, "Look. I know I've hurt
you before, but I'm sorry." Also, I would tell her that I didn't mean to
yell at her, and ask her to please forgive me. Then last, I would tell her how
important she is to me. In the end I would ask if we could forget our mistakes
and try one more time. After this, I would make sure I NEVER make those kinds of
mistake anymore by being more careful about my actions.
I sincerely hope she forgives you and gives you another chance.
If anyone else is reading this post, PLEASE help him!
Our relationship is vague. We're not couple. I'm courting her but she never
seems to avoid me after I confessed my feeling. That's why I put all efforts to
get her. She's a cool girl. She always addressing herself 'Cool Man'. Thanks.
You....sound very much like me, in certain ways. Except
you're much bolder and worked very hard for the relationship, which is a good
thing. =)
Eh...I guess, the first thing you should do is analyze those mistakes you made.
Like the fact that you let others read the converstations between you and her is
pretty much violating her privacy. Some people are very sensitive about this, so
at the very least you should've ask her first. If you're unsure, then...perhaps
imagine yourself in her position. How would you feel if conversations you don't
want to share with others was publicized? I certainly wouldn't like it. Well, just be careful about your actions. One or two mistakes is probably
just barely fine, but a trend is deadly.
I guess also control your temper a bit. My perspective of love is that, if you
love someone, you wouldn't get angry at him/her no matter what. You'd try to be
more understanding, since love only comes naturally and cannot be forced.
Well, I usually think a lot before I do anything, to make sure I know how to
handle potentially unexpected situations. Even if it's just a general idea of
what could happen, I still stick to certain beliefs, that I would never do this
or that, or something like that.
Anyways, during/after thinking through everything (which might take a couple of
days), my advice right now for your situation is that, if you still really
really like/love her, stay humble and be patient, and be nice (probably
indirectly though) to her. Just
for a reference, I had an argument with an internet friend before, which took me
about a week to solve, and nearly a month to turn things back to normal. I
didn't know what I did that wronged my friend, but I was willing to be honest to
him and told him my part of the situation. I explained all my actions up to that
point, admitted my mistakes, and apologized. What I received in return was his
honest thoughts that came with quite some scolding, but I killed off my temper
and listened, explaining when need be. It hurt a lot.
However, things did turn out fine in the end. I remained humble, tried not to
bother him, said Hi in a friendly manner when he posted on a forum we go to,
prepared a present for him (although in the end I didn't even need it ),
etc... Until, finally one day, he decided to have a conversation with me again.
He still sounded depressed of course (I tried to remain cheerful), but after
about a week or so, he pretty much returned to normal. The tension was still
there, but it eventually faded away.
Not saying you must follow my case, but I think you should probably explain
everything to her. Confessing is hard I know (especially when confessing what
you've done wrong and why), but I think it should be worth it. It clears quite
some misunderstanding (if you're honest with your words of course), and you
might get a piece of what the other person is thinking (Don't force her to speak
though, whatever the case may be). After that, I guess pretty much remain
cheerful in front of her. If she's still cold towards you, don't be too bothered
about it. Keep up the cheerful attitude. Of course, still be careful about
potentially deadly actions, so you won't get Argument #2. ;;
Although, to be honest, I don't think there is any definite way that will get
her to like you again. It's pretty much up to how well you handle the situations
that gets thrown at ya, and how she decides to respond/think. I support you to work for it though! Gambatte, yingxian-kun!
well... i guess i'm da oldest here...
well.... she is still a girl....
the reason she is still angry is because she care the way u treat her...dun
force her... let everything come naturally...
try to explain everything to her.... she's a girl... she might listen to u or
she might not... so be patient...
must always be patient towards girl...
i'm not sixteen yet, but pretty close. gonna be fifteen end october,
lol.
hmmm.
explain things to her, but don't appear so persistent, remember, you're asking
for her forgiveness. did you try calling her? the last time i got extremely
pissed with quite a close friend of mine [well, our relationship is somewhat
like you and the girl's, except its not romantic] for doing something rather
insensitive [nearly as bad as what you did] and the next morning he smsed me and
asked for my forgiveness [which i didn't accept] and he called me during lesson
time until i finally answered and [kind of] begged for my forgiveness. er. in
the end i relented cos well, i was too damn tired to continue being angry. i
don't think the girl will be like me [which she has already proven not to be]
but maybe you could do what my friend did. and after that give her time. let her
cool off for about a week or so. let her know how you feel, promise [sincerely]
that you won't hurt her again. and don't make empty promises. if she needs to
talk, listen, even if it hurts. then depending on how it goes, maybe after that
things will go back to normal for you two again.
i wish you best of luck. jiayou, yingxian! [lol
just felt like using chinese]
I definately agree that you made very huge mistakes. but it is important to
understand that you didnt know that you were making a mistake. there is a
difference between knowing and understanding. u know now that u made a mistake
but it is because u dont understand these mistakes that u made it in the first
place. the reason she got hurt is that u "hurt" the trust between you
2. now u have to understand that "trust" is something very important
to any relationship. it is like a major foundation of any relationship. and ur
actions have hurt her trust for u twice. yes i sed twice because on the third
time its is your lack of trust for her that hurt her. one thing i can say that
are in common between these 3 mistakes is that you were very
"insensitive" and u know this for a fact.
its very funny for someone though that has sed over and over agen how much he
love her to make such a mistake as to be "insensitive" to her. so now
you have to consider this little line, "knowing that you love her isnt
enough because loving her is a different thing". first understand that love
is "selfless" where you think about the other person in what ever you
do because really... if love is thinking about how she will make you happy and
how she will benefit you then this relationship is no different to that between
a customer and a sales man or a prostitute and the client. and rite now your
love seems to be somewhat selfish. remember when you're buying present you're
thinking about what that person would want rather than what you think is good
and i think that is very important. so in the same way when you are doing things
consider yourself but ALSO how she would feel because when your in this
relationship you life is no longer separate but they are united i guess. just
like your heart beats for her, her heart should beat for you. and just like how
u shud think about how she feels she should do the same for you. that is why
love cannot survive or remain healthy when only one person is making an effort.
so in a sense its like a giving of hearts. so in short what you really need to
do is be considerate of her feelings in everything you do. like i sed before
when you're buying presents you're thinking of what they want not what you would
want.
so now for your apology lol. i noe this post is like 4 weeks late but incase you
havent made up are things have gotten worse heres what i advice. an earnest
apology is very important, u have to mean it when you say sorry. then you have
to show that u understand how u made her feel when u hurt her (just incase in
general you betrayed her trust and you showed that you didnt trust her) so
basically u made her feel betrayed but also u showed a lack of trust that has
hurt her. this apology shouldnt be forceful. remember you hurt her and u have to
understand that u DONT DESERVE to be forgiven nor shud u expect to be forgiven.
when you say sorry it is because u ARE sorry for what you have done, not only
cuz u want to patch things up becuz thats being selfish in ur actions agen. so
its liek the saying" when you love sometimes tou have to let them go"
but i dont advice that lol. you love the girl, you shud mean you sorry, u shudnt
expect to be forgiven but u noe u WANT to be forgive (2 different things).
lastly for this apology u have to show her that you want to patch things up, BUT
you shudnt make it sound that it will all be like it was before or that
everything is alrite now because that has a very good chance of pissing her off,
so its a "just in case" thing. u tell her that you would LIKE to
remain friends with her so THE DECISION lies with her. and i guess all u can
really do from then is w8 for her response but be sure to give her time. oh yeah
lol al most forgot... GIVE HER TIME to respond cuz she MIGHT not respond just
yet, so apologize like you mean it^^ then just leave it at that and give her
some space ot think about it then u play the waiting game. remember u have to
mean what you say and sound like you mean it lol.
now on to other matters lol (this is very long now ") you as a person lack self confidence and u seem to not understand
yourself and who you are too well lol. to be confident is to BE CONFIDENT in
what you do and who you are, if you're gonna want her to love you might as well
make her love you for who you are. no point in her liking you as some DJ or
wanna be samurai lol becuz then its not really you who she likes. have
confidence in how you behave, im pretty sure you noe the difference in being shy
and being a cocky person but what u need to act like is someone who does not
fear how he acts but is not assure that how he acts is definately rite becuz if
u really want to be a good boyfriend of ther u have to be trust worthy and
reliable and itll be hard for you to handle doin important stuff for her if u
cant even trust urself to do stuff for urself! lol.
well i doubt that even if you overcome this that this will be ur last problem or
that this will be the last fight with her but its sumthing ur gonna have to work
on. like i sed when ur inlove ur life is no longer just for yourself but its
united with hers as well.
AND DONT FORGET TO CONSIDER HOW SHE WOULD FEEL IN WTE U DO!
how i was of some help^^ good luck and srry agen for the late reply
merged: 10-11-2007 ~ 11:55pm
hope* i was of some help =p
merged: 10-11-2007 ~ 11:57pm
oh yeah lol read the manga suzuka at www.mangahut.com or where ever u read ur
mangas from. cuz the main character there makes alot of mistakes that are
similar to urs lol but he does grow better so u can learn from his mistakes as
well
Hey, StrayCloud. I'm really sorry for my late reply. I'm very grateful for your
reply but I don't think I can fully understand your mean. Well, I guess I can
understand better in future time. Sometimes, I don't really understand how she
feel. And she said she doesn't know what to do and how to feel about me. I
really get confused. I'd do anything for this and I never give up. I promise to
my soul everyday. Thanks.
She seems like a levelheaded girl, so why don't you try actually listening to her instead of turning this into
a humongous drama session. If she's forgiven you -- and if she's talking to you,
then she has (at least almost) done just that -- how about just relaxing. Also,
if you haven't done so already, offer to do something in return for what you
did. She might not want or demand it, but it's good manners anyway.
And stop listening to rumors, damn it! In almost every case, they're either
gross exaggerations or outright lies.
It was a terrifying transfer student from the city to my school. The place that I used to live is a countryside where I've met her for the first time. She, the new student, Yup, I knew she's a special girl at the first sight. Being at the young age, it was in primary school, I'm not even dare to speak with her as I was known as the most quiet and shy student in the class. I was infatuated by her during that time. She's not a very beautiful girl and already known as a tomboyish one in my class. My strong feeling towards her just acting on my impulse. I did not take any action but to observe her everyday, trying to know her more on my own. I won't ask more and just satisfied by that as long as I can contact with her, even it was just looking at her.
After six years studying at the primary school, I was 12 at that time, registered to a secondary school. To my surprise, she also got the same school and same class with me. I still had the strong feeling towards her but I knew it was just a puppy love just as what my form teacher told me during primary school. As long as I can see her daily, it was more than enough. I never speak to her once even we were classmate for years.
However, last year, she was just sitting behind me in the class. I knew, I gotta control my feeling towards her. I put lots of effort and was able to get her msn and knew that she likes to surf internet. I was too afraid to face her at the first time, so I used my friend's account to prank her in the msn. I was a computer elite and always help her to solve her computer problems. I was managed to entertain her and trying not to fill her with boredom. After some time, I finally can chat with her using my own account and like a man.
I knew I'm a boring person. I tried to change my personality in order to flatter to her interest towards me. I tried my very best to change her perception towards me from the beginning. This plan was not successful somehow as I never socialize with the girls in my class. But I never give up, I squeeze my brain up so that I can bring something new to her each time her online. On the other hand, I was afraid of showing too much my infatuation towards her. Every second, I've to pretend not to show too much care about her. I was scared of getting hurt by her.
Time goes very fast, I was very intimate with her in the Internet but we never talk at school. It lasted for one year and 2 months. I was over the moon. I'm telling myself not to get over the head for this but still I used up my savings to get a mobile phone and trying to sms her and fill her life with the my existence. It was during last month, we smsed each other a lot and I confessed my feeling towards her. She was surprised but she never wants to comment about this and told me that she's not believed. I preferred not to rush things on this, I tried to fulfill her every request and wanted to be a man who can look after her for her whole life. Every night I'll say 'Good Night' to her via sms because I know she always late to bed. It's not good for her. And it's just a matter of time for her to believe me. That's what I think that time.
It was unfortunate but during courting process, I hurt her very deeply. And not only one time, but more than twice. At first, I was letting others reading my message between her. It's unfair for her, I know that. But then, she borrowed me her school project to me, it's a shame but I never seems like appreciating her own works and borrowed to my friends. That's for the second sin I made. But the most deadly is on this Thursday I scolded her and forcefully treated her like a traitor for our relationship for unknown reasons. She scored magnificent results each time during the examination and emerged as the first place of my class. I always depressed and thought that I wasn't good enough for her. Until I heard some rumors about she's saying bad things behind me. I was insane. I put everything into this relationship but I got such thing. As a result, I scolded her and being very crude to her. But I knew I was wrong, the rumor I heard is never existed before. I like her very much, Yup, It was already six years since I'm infatuated by her. Because of her, I learn arts and we managed to attend art lesson together. Because of her, I became a active member in Red Crescent Society. And for her sake, I vowed to myself to pass my examination with flying colors.
I smsed her since then, asking for forgiveness from her. I love her. Dammit, I know I love her, but why did I hurt her? I was letting her know that I cannot live my life without her, I can't sleep during nights, can't eat during meal time, I was reminiscing the happy memory between us. However, today, She smsed me and asked me to take things easy like she has forgave me. She stated that she doesn't know how to face this predicament anymore. Apparently, I know she's still angry with me, I know it from her tone. Even she online and at school, she is just taking me like invisible. No matter how many messages I sent her, she is just replied me with 'Whatever'.
I know I hurt her deeply. But I do love her. Now and Forever. I'm asking for the last chance from her. I would like to redeem myself. I remembered the moment that we shared, there's no way I'll let her go or give her up. She's the most wonderful piece of the puzzle of my heart. I love her more than anything else. I'm bad in expressing myself. As a result, I never let her know what I've done for her for these years. She just knew that I love her. Well, it's very vague to her it seems. Yeah, I'll be 16 in this coming November. I don't care whether this is a puppy love or what, I only know I love her.
Can someone teaches me how to cope with this? I don't even know what decision to make anymore. I don't want to lose her. But what I can do now? I just can't think of the life without her. I was breathing in anguish. I apologizes for my poor English. English is not my mother language. Sorry if you think this post is a boring one. Thanks for helping anyway.
Wow... 16 in November? I turned 16 yesterday.
Well, the first thing I want to say is I look up to you. You've managed to keep strong even after so much. This is a really hard situation, and I'm not sure what to do. Please don't follow my advice unless you completely agree with me. This is because in my past, I've made mistakes with the girl I love, and she only likes me as a friend. Sometimes, though it feels like she's avoiding me because of those mistakes.
If I were in your situation, I would build up my courage and confidence. I would find her in school maybe during lunch time and go to her. Then I would talk to her, making sure she pays attention. I would say, "Look. I know I've hurt you before, but I'm sorry." Also, I would tell her that I didn't mean to yell at her, and ask her to please forgive me. Then last, I would tell her how important she is to me. In the end I would ask if we could forget our mistakes and try one more time. After this, I would make sure I NEVER make those kinds of mistake anymore by being more careful about my actions.
I sincerely hope she forgives you and gives you another chance.
If anyone else is reading this post, PLEASE help him!
I'm not sixteen yet, but I'm pretty close to the age.
I've never heard of a guy love somebody this much at such a young age. It's refreshing ^_^
She seems like a cool girl. But I don't understand what you're relationship with her is. Are you a couple? Or just good friends?
Our relationship is vague. We're not couple. I'm courting her but she never seems to avoid me after I confessed my feeling. That's why I put all efforts to get her. She's a cool girl. She always addressing herself 'Cool Man'. Thanks.
You....sound very much like me, in certain ways.
Except
you're much bolder and worked very hard for the relationship, which is a good
thing. =)
Eh...I guess, the first thing you should do is analyze those mistakes you made. Like the fact that you let others read the converstations between you and her is pretty much violating her privacy. Some people are very sensitive about this, so at the very least you should've ask her first. If you're unsure, then...perhaps imagine yourself in her position. How would you feel if conversations you don't want to share with others was publicized? I certainly wouldn't like it.
Well, just be careful about your actions. One or two mistakes is probably
just barely fine, but a trend is deadly. 
I guess also control your temper a bit. My perspective of love is that, if you love someone, you wouldn't get angry at him/her no matter what. You'd try to be more understanding, since love only comes naturally and cannot be forced.
Well, I usually think a lot before I do anything, to make sure I know how to
handle potentially unexpected situations. Even if it's just a general idea of
what could happen, I still stick to certain beliefs, that I would never do this
or that, or something like that. 
Anyways, during/after thinking through everything (which might take a couple of days), my advice right now for your situation is that, if you still really really like/love her, stay humble and be patient, and be nice (probably indirectly though) to her.
Just
for a reference, I had an argument with an internet friend before, which took me
about a week to solve, and nearly a month to turn things back to normal. I
didn't know what I did that wronged my friend, but I was willing to be honest to
him and told him my part of the situation. I explained all my actions up to that
point, admitted my mistakes, and apologized. What I received in return was his
honest thoughts that came with quite some scolding, but I killed off my temper
and listened, explaining when need be. It hurt a lot. 
However, things did turn out fine in the end. I remained humble, tried not to
bother him, said Hi in a friendly manner when he posted on a forum we go to,
prepared a present for him (although in the end I didn't even need it 
),
etc... Until, finally one day, he decided to have a conversation with me again.
He still sounded depressed of course (I tried to remain cheerful), but after
about a week or so, he pretty much returned to normal. The tension was still
there, but it eventually faded away. 
Not saying you must follow my case, but I think you should probably explain everything to her. Confessing is hard I know (especially when confessing what you've done wrong and why), but I think it should be worth it. It clears quite some misunderstanding (if you're honest with your words of course), and you might get a piece of what the other person is thinking (Don't force her to speak though, whatever the case may be). After that, I guess pretty much remain cheerful in front of her. If she's still cold towards you, don't be too bothered about it. Keep up the cheerful attitude. Of course, still be careful about potentially deadly actions, so you won't get Argument #2.
;;
Although, to be honest, I don't think there is any definite way that will get
her to like you again. It's pretty much up to how well you handle the situations
that gets thrown at ya, and how she decides to respond/think. 
I support you to work for it though! Gambatte, yingxian-kun! 
well... i guess i'm da oldest here...
well.... she is still a girl....
the reason she is still angry is because she care the way u treat her...dun force her... let everything come naturally...
try to explain everything to her.... she's a girl... she might listen to u or she might not... so be patient...
must always be patient towards girl...
i'm not sixteen yet, but pretty close. gonna be fifteen end october, lol.
hmmm.
explain things to her, but don't appear so persistent, remember, you're asking for her forgiveness. did you try calling her? the last time i got extremely pissed with quite a close friend of mine [well, our relationship is somewhat like you and the girl's, except its not romantic] for doing something rather insensitive [nearly as bad as what you did] and the next morning he smsed me and asked for my forgiveness [which i didn't accept] and he called me during lesson time until i finally answered and [kind of] begged for my forgiveness. er. in the end i relented cos well, i was too damn tired to continue being angry. i don't think the girl will be like me [which she has already proven not to be] but maybe you could do what my friend did. and after that give her time. let her cool off for about a week or so. let her know how you feel, promise [sincerely] that you won't hurt her again. and don't make empty promises. if she needs to talk, listen, even if it hurts. then depending on how it goes, maybe after that things will go back to normal for you two again.
i wish you best of luck. jiayou, yingxian!
[lol
just felt like using chinese]
I definately agree that you made very huge mistakes. but it is important to understand that you didnt know that you were making a mistake. there is a difference between knowing and understanding. u know now that u made a mistake but it is because u dont understand these mistakes that u made it in the first place. the reason she got hurt is that u "hurt" the trust between you 2. now u have to understand that "trust" is something very important to any relationship. it is like a major foundation of any relationship. and ur actions have hurt her trust for u twice. yes i sed twice because on the third time its is your lack of trust for her that hurt her. one thing i can say that are in common between these 3 mistakes is that you were very "insensitive" and u know this for a fact.
its very funny for someone though that has sed over and over agen how much he love her to make such a mistake as to be "insensitive" to her. so now you have to consider this little line, "knowing that you love her isnt enough because loving her is a different thing". first understand that love is "selfless" where you think about the other person in what ever you do because really... if love is thinking about how she will make you happy and how she will benefit you then this relationship is no different to that between a customer and a sales man or a prostitute and the client. and rite now your love seems to be somewhat selfish. remember when you're buying present you're thinking about what that person would want rather than what you think is good and i think that is very important. so in the same way when you are doing things consider yourself but ALSO how she would feel because when your in this relationship you life is no longer separate but they are united i guess. just like your heart beats for her, her heart should beat for you. and just like how u shud think about how she feels she should do the same for you. that is why love cannot survive or remain healthy when only one person is making an effort. so in a sense its like a giving of hearts. so in short what you really need to do is be considerate of her feelings in everything you do. like i sed before when you're buying presents you're thinking of what they want not what you would want.
so now for your apology lol. i noe this post is like 4 weeks late but incase you havent made up are things have gotten worse heres what i advice. an earnest apology is very important, u have to mean it when you say sorry. then you have to show that u understand how u made her feel when u hurt her (just incase in general you betrayed her trust and you showed that you didnt trust her) so basically u made her feel betrayed but also u showed a lack of trust that has hurt her. this apology shouldnt be forceful. remember you hurt her and u have to understand that u DONT DESERVE to be forgiven nor shud u expect to be forgiven. when you say sorry it is because u ARE sorry for what you have done, not only cuz u want to patch things up becuz thats being selfish in ur actions agen. so its liek the saying" when you love sometimes tou have to let them go" but i dont advice that lol. you love the girl, you shud mean you sorry, u shudnt expect to be forgiven but u noe u WANT to be forgive (2 different things). lastly for this apology u have to show her that you want to patch things up, BUT you shudnt make it sound that it will all be like it was before or that everything is alrite now because that has a very good chance of pissing her off, so its a "just in case" thing. u tell her that you would LIKE to remain friends with her so THE DECISION lies with her. and i guess all u can really do from then is w8 for her response but be sure to give her time. oh yeah lol al most forgot... GIVE HER TIME to respond cuz she MIGHT not respond just yet, so apologize like you mean it^^ then just leave it at that and give her some space ot think about it then u play the waiting game. remember u have to mean what you say and sound like you mean it lol.
now on to other matters lol (this is very long now
") you as a person lack self confidence and u seem to not understand
yourself and who you are too well lol. to be confident is to BE CONFIDENT in
what you do and who you are, if you're gonna want her to love you might as well
make her love you for who you are. no point in her liking you as some DJ or
wanna be samurai lol becuz then its not really you who she likes. have
confidence in how you behave, im pretty sure you noe the difference in being shy
and being a cocky person but what u need to act like is someone who does not
fear how he acts but is not assure that how he acts is definately rite becuz if
u really want to be a good boyfriend of ther u have to be trust worthy and
reliable and itll be hard for you to handle doin important stuff for her if u
cant even trust urself to do stuff for urself! lol.
well i doubt that even if you overcome this that this will be ur last problem or that this will be the last fight with her but its sumthing ur gonna have to work on. like i sed when ur inlove ur life is no longer just for yourself but its united with hers as well.
AND DONT FORGET TO CONSIDER HOW SHE WOULD FEEL IN WTE U DO!
how i was of some help^^ good luck and srry agen for the late reply
merged: 10-11-2007 ~ 11:55pm
hope* i was of some help =p
merged: 10-11-2007 ~ 11:57pm
oh yeah lol read the manga suzuka at www.mangahut.com or where ever u read ur mangas from. cuz the main character there makes alot of mistakes that are similar to urs lol but he does grow better so u can learn from his mistakes as well
Hey, StrayCloud. I'm really sorry for my late reply. I'm very grateful for your reply but I don't think I can fully understand your mean. Well, I guess I can understand better in future time. Sometimes, I don't really understand how she feel. And she said she doesn't know what to do and how to feel about me. I really get confused. I'd do anything for this and I never give up. I promise to my soul everyday. Thanks.
She seems like a levelheaded girl, so why don't you try actually listening to her instead of turning this into a humongous drama session. If she's forgiven you -- and if she's talking to you, then she has (at least almost) done just that -- how about just relaxing. Also, if you haven't done so already, offer to do something in return for what you did. She might not want or demand it, but it's good manners anyway.
And stop listening to rumors, damn it! In almost every case, they're either gross exaggerations or outright lies.