at the beginning of this school year, my crush already had a boyfriend. hell, that sucks... but lucky as I was, there was another. that girl had been my friend for about 7 years now, and hell, she was cute and nice too. so yeah, i spent several days making a heart shaped box from scratch, got together some chocolates, made some cute sweet lines for a card with "[name], I love you." at the bottom. making sure everything was ready and just right nearly made me late for school. getting it sent to her third period class involved a very tight schedule, and i risked being late to my third period class just to get it done. I gave it all i had, putting all the effort i could to make sure things worked out right. In my note, i had asked her to meet me somewhere during lunch.

Lunch came, and i ran there. very shortly afterwards, she came, and we kind of chatted. It was a really awkward moment, since until then we had been just friends, so at times we couldn't find anything to say and just started laughing. after we talked for quite some time, things were going really well. We were in love... or so it seemed. when lunch ended, i offered to help her carry some of her stuff. She had a lot to carry. She said she was fine, and that i should get to class. I told her that it's no problem, since i usually run there anyways. Then the sentence came. THE sentence. The one that ended it all. The one that destroyed it all. The one that crushed my heart. "Sorry." she said, "I already have a boyfriend."

What...
The...
----.....

She already had a boyfriend? what was this? some sort of conspiracy? my crush last year got a boyfriend over the summer. No point asking her out or anything. Now this girl, too? Two of my three closest female friends get a boyfriend, and they don't tell me. The third is out of state. I swear, people in my school are looking at me and thinking "wow, that guy is having a hard time in life. aww.... let's just go ruin his life even more!"

Well, i've officially given up. I'm no longer looking for a relationship anymore. It's always pointless. a waste of my time. a waste of my efforts. plus, there are no other girls in my school that have a great personality, an (in my eyes) attractive appearance, and the many years of frienship and trust that need to be built up.

"Love is an illusion to cover up the harsh reality of life, and it exists when two people are deceptive enough to inflict this cursed illusion on each other."

Any comforting thoughts are definately welcome. Feel free to share stories of your worst Valentines Days, too. Please leave names anonymous. I don't want to feel responsible for any harrassment caused by this thread.

I dun have any worst-valentines-story to share with you... Bt bro, it sounds like you are going to give up love? Don't do it. Failure will strengthen you. Don't let it thwart you.

I don't have a bad Valentine to share, sorry.

But don't give up!

You'll find your special someone someday.

I was heartbroken too, I know it's sad, but I didn't give up.

Don't let her effect you this much.

Life's a long way to go.

Shadow I'm sorry for you, must have been hard on you!
Valentine's Day is like every other day, nothing special to me. It's nice to have a girlfriend of course, but currently I don't really want one. There is one girl that I really like, but I think that's an impossible relationship.

I think you're really awesome. Many people here in germany didn't do anything on Valentine's Day~
I never got anything on that day and I'm not sad cause I don't really want anything.

Quote: She already had a boyfriend? what was this? some sort of conspiracy? my crush last year got a boyfriend over the summer. No point asking her out or anything. Now this girl, too? Two of my three closest female friends get a boyfriend, and they don't tell me. The third is out of state. I swear, people in my school are looking at me and thinking "wow, that guy is having a hard time in life. aww.... let's just go ruin his life even more!"

I'm not one to spout "meaning-full nothings", so I'm just going to be blunt about this: You're more than likely being overly paranoid about this. It's not that uncommon for close friends to get boyfriends/girlfriends without telling anyone. It's annoying (especially when two of your friends start dating each other), but it's generally not a plot to ruin someone else's life.

Quote: Well, i've officially given up. I'm no longer looking for a relationship anymore. It's always pointless. a waste of my time. a waste of my efforts. plus, there are no other girls in my school that have a great personality, an (in my eyes) attractive appearance, and the many years of friendship and trust that need to be built up.

If that's the kind of attitude you have, how can you expect to keep one going if ever get into one? Relationships take more than feelings alone to keep them alive- if you don't make the effort to learn more about each other, sort through your problems, etc., but strive on emotions alone you'll find yourself drowning in a shallow pool. If you don't have the patience or the willpower it's not going to get very far for very long.

As for other girls, three isn't even a large number, and if you're still in high school you've got plenty of time left in your life to meet other girls and build relationships. And while I know this doesn't apply in every case expecting to build a strong foundation of friendship over years isn't something you have to do before you date someone- before you marry someone, yes- dating doesn't equal marriage. It allows you to get to know the person you like better, but it isn't a contract that you'll spend your life together, just a stepping stone to that next step.

Quote: "Love is an illusion to cover up the harsh reality of life, and it exists when two people are deceptive enough to inflict this cursed illusion on each other."

Then it's not really love. Love is the ability to go on in spite of the harsh realities of life. The people who crash and burn with no real willpower are the ones who come up with fancy quotes like this to hide behind as an excuse for why "it didn't work out".

It sucks to be rejected. It hurts like hell. But giving up and making excuses or pointing fingers won't change anything. More than likely it will only make things worse and sink you in to a meaningless depression. As I said before you have plenty of time to meet the person that will truly love you for you. Hey, my brother went through rejection and failed relationships 20 times before he finally found the girl he married (no joke!). If I've learned anything from the world around me it's that love hits you when you least suspect it, or aren't looking for it. And that's not "meaning-full nothings" on my part, I call that experience with the world around me. Don't throw in the towel on love, but don't get desperate looking for it, either.

Every valentines day for me was worse than the last until this year. I'm finally out of highschool so i don't have to spend the whole day with a class full of jerks that I hate with every ounce of my being and watch them carry on like its the greatest thing. Yay! i can just be alone and not talk to anyone. Quite an improvement wouldn't you say? Speaking of that was Valentines day yesterday? or today? well I give up.

By the way love is just a chemical reaction in the brain designed to 1. promote reproduction and 2. to increase the survival rate of babies by giving it the benefit of having both parents around to care for it.

Can't be worse than mine...
not because of relationship problems... other stuff.

I personally don't think much about valentine's day, not because I'm single, but simply due to commercial reasons.
Anyway, just because you've been shut down a couple of times, doesn't mean its the end of your search for a lady.
There are plenty more fish out there.
You just gotta wait, no matter how much it hurts or simply annoys.
Eventually it will all pay off.
There's bound to be at least ONE lady out there, there HAS to be.
Believe it or not.

Please don't take whatever I'm about to say offensively, but...

Quote by ShadowOchibi
She already had a boyfriend? what was this? some sort of conspiracy? my crush last year got a boyfriend over the summer. No point asking her out or anything. Now this girl, too? Two of my three closest female friends get a boyfriend, and they don't tell me.

Why should they tell you about what happens in their private life? I mean now, seriously? Because they're your friends and you have had a crush on them? They don't need to tell you anything about what happens in their private lives. Please do not be so self absorbed or selfish for yourself all the time. Again, don't take offensive, it's positive criticism. It's just that you can't expect them to tell you everything all of the time. They can keep it to themselves because they can. Nothing stops them from doing that. Not even you. That's just something I want you to realize.

Quote by ShadowOchibi I swear, people in my school are looking at me and thinking "wow, that guy is having a hard time in life. aww.... let's just go ruin his life even more!"

I think that is just a presumption based on... well, not a lot. =\
There are a lot of people who have had it a lot harder than you, and I never hear them complain like this. They share their much harder times they have had, but never selfishly complain about it. Again what I try to say is, try not to be so self absorbed, and see what you can gain, instead.

Quote by ShadowOchibiWell, i've officially given up. I'm no longer looking for a relationship anymore. It's always pointless. a waste of my time. a waste of my efforts. plus, there are no other girls in my school that have a great personality, an (in my eyes) attractive appearance, and the many years of frienship and trust that need to be built up.

Never know until you try. The only thing is, you should never be desperately looking for a relationship, otherwise it will rarely work out at all. You have to take your time with it. It's like building a house. Built it with impatience and rush it, it will fall apart. Take your time and give it a very powerful foundation and build it with structure, and it will stand for much, much longer.
The thing is, the more you keep up that attitude, the more it will stay that way. Things can be more in your hands than you think. Just seize the chance, focus on what you can gain and not on what you are losing.

Quote by ShadowOchibi"Love is an illusion to cover up the harsh reality of life, and it exists when two people are deceptive enough to inflict this cursed illusion on each other."

I suppose you don't want me to treat a remark like this one seriously. I understand its a perspective, a point of view, but then that is all it is. A point of view, based on whatever life experiences the person had when they formed this quote. Don't know who made this quote though.

Again ShadowOchibi, I don't mean to be offensive, but I just thought I'd give you a spoonful of reality, which I think wouldn't do anyone a bit of harm. I also would link you to a thread on another forum I go to, but I think that would be advertising... so if you are interested in reading it(It concerns love, about whether it exists or not, etc), let me know.

EDIT: And oh yes, to stay on topic, my Valentine's Days have always been the same as every year. I never received a card, nor do I have a girlfriend. Still fishing though, got plenty of bait left in my bucket! :P

To me it's just any other day. The one I'm with will never question how I feel about her any day outside of Valentine's Day.

Thanks, ArtificialRaindrop and Tsuji. I've learned quite a lot from you two.

Quote by ArtificialRaindropIt's not that uncommon for close friends to get boyfriends/girlfriends without telling anyone.

Quote by TsujiWhy should they tell you about what happens in their private life? I mean now, seriously? Because they're your friends and you have had a crush on them? They don't need to tell you anything about what happens in their private lives. Please do not be so self absorbed or selfish for yourself all the time. Again, don't take offensive, it's positive criticism. It's just that you can't expect them to tell you everything all of the time. They can keep it to themselves because they can. Nothing stops them from doing that. Not even you. That's just something I want you to realize.

Oh. I guess i'm really clueless when it comes to understanding people, both others and myself. yeah, you're right. why should my friends tell me their personal lives? it is 'personal' after all for a reason.

Quote by ArtificialRaindropIf that's the kind of attitude you have, how can you expect to keep one going if ever get into one?

Quote by ArtificialRaindropAnd while I know this doesn't apply in every case expecting to build a strong foundation of friendship over years isn't something you have to do before you date someone- before you marry someone

I really don't know what i will do. After all, being really, really particular about who I have a relationship with is something I've never been able to change. She needs to be someone who I will be able to trust with my life, which takes me years of close friendship. Appearance is really important to me. Cute and pretty, and some things that go more specific. After all, in the future, i'll be seeing her all the time, won't I? Personality is just as important - a beautiful, compassionate heart. Is there something wrong with looking for the right girl?

[EDIT] It seemed a bit unclear when i re-read my post. i realized i'm different from some or most others. I have three best friends, all three female, and I'd trust any of them with my life. But it takes more than a hell of a lot to be someone i consider a best friend. I'm more picky than some other people here, too. So it's going to be extremely difficult for me to get another best friend. [/EDIT]

Quote by TsujiThere are a lot of people who have had it a lot harder than you, and I never hear them complain like this. They share their much harder times they have had, but never selfishly complain about it. Again what I try to say is, try not to be so self absorbed, and see what you can gain, instead.

I agree with you. I know i'm pretty selfish in some ways, and I've foolishly believed in and hoped to live in a fantasy life. This is why I often (not always) prefer pessimism over optimism.

Quote by ArtificialRaindropIt sucks to be rejected. It hurts like hell. But giving up and making excuses or pointing fingers won't change anything. More than likely it will only make things worse and sink you in to a meaningless depression.

yeah. thank you for your time and your reply.

Quote by TsujiNever know until you try. The only thing is, you should never be desperately looking for a relationship, otherwise it will rarely work out at all. You have to take your time with it. It's like building a house. Built it with impatience and rush it, it will fall apart. Take your time and give it a very powerful foundation and build it with structure, and it will stand for much, much longer.
The thing is, the more you keep up that attitude, the more it will stay that way. Things can be more in your hands than you think. Just seize the chance, focus on what you can gain and not on what you are losing.

I understand. Thanks. Sorry, there's not much else i can say here.

Quote by TsujiAgain ShadowOchibi, I don't mean to be offensive, but I just thought I'd give you a spoonful of reality, which I think wouldn't do anyone a bit of harm.

Yes, and no offense taken, and thanks again. Reality is often a hurtful thing to realize, but avoiding the reality you live in is more devastating in the end. In the long run, a dose of reality could do any of us a lot of good.