K my boyfriend's been on vacation since school let out and is comming back at the end of the month and he said he went to a dance club and danced w a *bleep*ing stripper like i know he loves to dance and everything but it got me thinking... what would YOU all do if your boyfriend did this?(and for guys like if your girlfriend ummm... idk did something equivilant i 'spose). Like he said "nothing happened" but whatever, its kinda hard to believe nothing happened when you have a feeling his invitations to the whore house down the block have been "turned down" either like he's been saying... yea a 150$ (idk how much yen that would be) blow job and much more being offered to be paid for and everything by a reeally good friend... soooo, what would you do in this sort of situation?

Hmm.. I don't know if I'm in the position to answer you, as I don't have a boyfriend, so I can't exactly tell you how I'd feel and what I'd do. And even if I could, I don't think you should do the same; I'd be just telling you my point of view, just for you to consider it, not to take it and hold onto it as if it's the only way. Um, anyways. That was just a lil' intro before I answer your question

So, if I had a boyfriend and he told me he danced with a stripper while on vacation... I'd be pretty pissed off at him, that's for sure. From one side, I can sort of understand how he feels about the offer he got. But understanding doesn't mean he's justified. But anyways, if that were to happen, I'd try talking to him first; try to fully understand why he did this. If he tells me something like he just wanted to do it and will most likely do it again (and he doesn't care whether I know or not that he went and danced with a stripper), I'd definitely break up with him, because I personally consider it cheating. He says he just danced with her, but who really knows? Besides, the first time he danced, the second time might be more.

However, if he told me he went and danced with a stripper in a confession of sort, then I'd take it he gave in to temptation and might feel a bit guilty about it. If so, then I'd forgive him and give him a second chance. If it happens again, though, yeah, he's probably not going to be faithful. Again, I'm not exactly in the position to give a real answer, since I don't even have a boyfriend to begin with.

One last thing, though. Some other women might not consider this cheating. It all relies on what you feel about it, and I think you should do what your heart tells you (excuse the corny expression), even if others tell you it's not the "right" decision. Personally, I don't think there's really a "right" and "wrong" decision (unless they're radical decisions, like killing or something - yeah, that's just plain wrong); it's all about what you feel is "right" and "wrong"... what your heart tells you.

Well, at least he had the honesty to tell you he danced with a stripper when he might not have needed to, so you should probably show him the courtesy of at least believing him when he says he did nothing more than that. If his action hurt you, then say so. (Well, provided you haven't already done so, that is.) I'm not sure I like the idea that it's alright to just judge any guy to be compulsive liars. Do you girls honestly think you are any better?

How would I react if I learned that my potential girlfriend went dancing with (in this case male) strippers? I would be mildly annoyed, I guess, but I would probably get over it. As far as "just dancing" goes, I would even forgive a repeated incident. Why? Because I don't want to keep her on a fucking leash.

I'm not saying people should be kept on a leash. My definition of faithfulness might differ than yours, but neither mine nor yours is right (or wrong).

And no, I don't think I'm any better. And I don't think all guys are compulsive liars. I'm just putting out the possibilities.

No matter. I'm not here to justify myself.

Well, you weren't the one who had an issue with mistrust in guys (despite the fact that he valued honesty enough to actually tell her he had been dancing with a stripper even though he knew it would probably get him into a spot of trouble with her), so my comment weren't as much directed at you as her. Granted, the "do you girls think you are any better" line might have lead you to believe this, but that one was more of a general comment against the irritatingly pervasive idea that only men are unfaithful (in all the different incarnations and gradients of unfaithfulness) and also lie about it with no remorse.

Anyway, let's sum up: You set your standards about this. Fair enough. I set mine. Also fair enough. Sharptool's boyfriend actually told her that he had been dancing with strippers, which made her angry according to HER standards. Fair enough as well. He also told her that nothing else happened. She didn't believe him. And THAT is where the fairness ends, and the leash, as I put it, begins.

well like the reason why i dont believe him is bc he's offered to go to whore houses by one of his reeally good friends and he offers to pay for it and everything (its like over 100$). and plus he's uber hot and chicks hit on him left and right and he says he ignors it, idk i may be overly paranoid bc he's a flirt with girls at his school and he can admit it, but i'm NOT going to put a leash on him and tell him to not chill with whoever he decides to chill with bc he already tells me he doesnt chill with them. but i do see what Northy means by a leash though bc i actually find myself asking him if i can chill with certain guys while he's gone and even though i know he's not at the point of saying no, he kinda gets obviously upset if he doesnt approve and he doesnt stop until i say i wont chill with them so he wont have to worry but yea thanks for your opinions so far, i'm going to try to trust him more ^_^

Quote by NorthyWell, you weren't the one who had an issue with mistrust in guys (despite the fact that he valued honesty enough to actually tell her he had been dancing with a stripper even though he knew it would probably get him into a spot of trouble with her), so my comment weren't as much directed at you as her. Granted, the "do you girls think you are any better" line might have lead you to believe this, but that one was more of a general comment against the irritatingly pervasive idea that only men are unfaithful (in all the different incarnations and gradients of unfaithfulness) and also lie about it with no remorse.

Anyway, let's sum up: You set your standards about this. Fair enough. I set mine. Also fair enough. Sharptool's boyfriend actually told her that he had been dancing with strippers, which made her angry according to HER standards. Fair enough as well. He also told her that nothing else happened. She didn't believe him. And THAT is where the fairness ends, and the leash, as I put it, begins.

Ah, in that case, I apologize for the misunderstanding. I just thought your comment was directed at me because I had also talked about guys' unfaithfulness. In any case, I don't usually have the ideas that guys are bad and girls are better. If I gave a negative image of someone else, it's because I don't know the other person and it's just my paranoia speaking. And now that I reread what I previously wrote, yeah, that was more my paranoia speaking. Like I said, I can't give a real answer about this issue since, first, I'm not in the situation, and second, I don't even have a boyfriend.

I admit, it was very honest of sharptool's boyfriend (not to mention brave as well) to tell her. I don't know him to know whether to believe him or no, so he could be a really nice guy or the opposite. However, sharptool should know him well enough, so she should know whether to believe him or no. I think neither you nor I should tell her to believe him or no, but advise her to give it a second thought before deciding anything.

In any case, whether she believes him or no, she should talk to him about it, tell him that it angered her (if she didn't tell him already).

well, at least he told you that, and he proved that he's honest.. if you really like him, u should support his hobbies and whatever, and because it's just once, u've to give him another chance instead of throwing your angryness to your bf^^ hey, but it's different if he asked the stripper first

I don't think visiting strip clubs can be counted as a hobby. ^^;;

Anyway, I don't think you should hold it against him if it's a one-time thing, especially seeing as it sounds like his buddies drug him over there. If -- and I stress the word "if" -- this becomes a repeated incident over short periods of time, though, then you have the right to hold him responsible for it.

I'm saying this because I get the impression that strip clubs are generally something people visit in groups. That's probably not entirely accurate, but in your case -- and your boyfriend's, as it were -- it's probably how it goes.

So here's my somewhat adjusted viewpoint: I probably wouldn't mind if the friends of my (potential) girlfriends took her along to a strip club every once in a while, or even if she danced with any of them -- usually, it's the strippers themselves who initiate that anyway, or at least that's what I think. But then, I've never really been to a strip club, so I might be talking out of my ass on that one. Either way, I would make it blatantly clear that I would not like this sort of thing if it becomes a frequent affair.

Whorehouses, on the other hand, is out of the question. Well, not that there are any male whorehouses, so that's one thing I DON'T have to worry about, but yeah....

You sure there aren't male whorehouses?

... And what if she turns out to be bisexual?

No, I'm not entirely sure about that, but I don't think there is a whole lot of them around. ^^;;

Haha, yeah, I've never heard of male whores... except for gay ones, that is.

Hi there, I'm a non-gay male whore. Now you have officially met one *plays party boy music*.

I'm not sure whether to treat this as a joke or serious...

I would hope the *plays party boy music* part would have given it away. Besides, I would be a terrible man whore. I've got no game.

There's that guy in Jackass, I guess. He's literally the only one in Jackass that makes me turn away from the screen with some of his antics.

I'm sure the ladies appreciate him, though.

my actual boyfriend a.k.a my future husband danced in front of me with a stripper, and for better or worse he danced over her too...

he was actually enjoyin that, me seeing him... but i was laughin out loud. that's doens't matter it's just dancing.

It all depends on age, grade of drunkness, who were there with him, the magic of the moment... but if you're convinced that he'd do it again, or that's is the first step of cheating, then you can:

Dump him! One thing is if his friends took him there, and he was only watching

That -ejem!- happened to me many years ago. It was my birthday and I didn't know where my friends were taking me -honest!- You kinda love your friends for trying to corrupt you. But, let's say, it was anthropolically interesting.

But if tour boyfriend graciously gave himself (that I didn't do) to the exotic dancing with a knockout of a girl stripping herself, well you kinda know what to expect from him.

merged: 07-17-2008 ~ 11:03am

Quote by NorthyI don't think visiting strip clubs can be counted as a hobby. ^^;;

Hobby? I'd take as a hobby if were making a nude paint of the dancer. Or if he's taking belly-dance classes.

Quote by NorthyThere's that guy in Jackass, I guess. He's literally the only one in Jackass that makes me turn away from the screen with some of his antics.

I'm sure the ladies appreciate him, though.

I'm not sure what his antics are, but... I don't watch Jackass, it just disgusts me.

@shoujoboy: Forgive my misunderstanding, it was early in the morning and I wasn't even fully awake

Quote by sharptool114K my boyfriend's been on vacation since school let out and is comming back at the end of the month and he said he went to a dance club and danced w a *bleep*ing stripper like i know he loves to dance and everything but it got me thinking... what would YOU all do if your boyfriend did this?(and for guys like if your girlfriend ummm... idk did something equivilant i 'spose). Like he said "nothing happened" but whatever, its kinda hard to believe nothing happened when you have a feeling his invitations to the whore house down the block have been "turned down" either like he's been saying... yea a 150$ (idk how much yen that would be) blow job and much more being offered to be paid for and everything by a reeally good friend... soooo, what would you do in this sort of situation?

Uh-oh... your boyfriend told you THAT?

Oh, I know I won't tell my own.

Well, he's unduly honest anout things, so, methinks, believe him. For the moment.

If he told u, thats problably true...

althought i think its problably impossible to get a hot girl stripping for u and do nothing....

from my perspective (I'm a man) I think it would of been ok if he did in a party with a friend or something but to actually go to a stripper....... well the guy sounds desperate and maybe he is sending a message to you. Well he should get credit for telling you and maybe he got to it cause of his friend but it still sounds really sketchy