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Original Sketch

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elisadevelon

Retired Moderator

elisadevelon

The purple vamp

So I've been working on a sketch of my original character. I'm quite satisfied with it but I'd still like to hear an opinion or two on something. The shoes look too much like rubber boots to me and I'd like to give them a more heavy-boots look but without success so far. Any ideas?
Also, I'm not very good at drawing folds on clothes so if you think that any of them are out of place, tell me. And of course, if you see anything else that needs some editing, let me know as well.
If you think that everything's alright, comment, too and I'll start with the lineart and coloring. Thanks in advance!

Danielly

Danielly

Crucify my Love...

add dents to the boots instead of making them flat
the foldings seem ok to me
i loved the bat shapes ^^d

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elisadevelon

Retired Moderator

elisadevelon

The purple vamp

Sorry but how exactly do you imagine it with the dents? Could you show me an example of what you mean?
Glad to hear that about the folds. I re-drew them like 5000 times. And I'm sure I'll just destroy them with shadows. T_T
The bats are just a funny symbolism stuff as she's supposed to be a vampire. Glad you liked them. :3

Danielly

Danielly

Crucify my Love...

like this Eli > http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b4/Rangers_réglementaires_de_l%27Armée_Française.png/220px-Rangers_réglementaires_de_l%27Armée_Française.png
put a bounce in the sole instead of making it whole and put the dents
i didn't really like her mouth because her theets looks like just part of an open mouth but i guess with the colouring it will be better viewed hehe

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she's cute! I like the boots and the folds...but the hair...there is something I find odd...is it a ponytail or pigtails? if it's the second it doesn't show...

elisadevelon

Retired Moderator

elisadevelon

The purple vamp

@Danielly: Thanks a lot, I'll try to do it.

@DragonBlood: She's supposed to have two ponytails (twin tails). One is visible entirely and the other is hidden behind her head and only partly shown (you can see it coming from behind her neck). Should I change the hair?

Danielly

Danielly

Crucify my Love...

i like the hair how it is, i could tell it was twin pigtails without problems.
you know looking at it again i do feel weird about the dress XD probably because i don't like dresses a haha have you though about adding a belt or chains on her waist?

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elisadevelon

Retired Moderator

elisadevelon

The purple vamp

Alright, I'll just work on the shoes. I don't want to add anything on her waist. :/

Danielly

Danielly

Crucify my Love...

Then so be it lol i can't want to see this coloured hehe
*gives you cookies*
what are the colours you are planning for this?

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elisadevelon

Retired Moderator

elisadevelon

The purple vamp

Ah, thanks! *grabs the cookies and bites on them*

For the colors, you can just take a look at my ava. It's the same character. So I'll probably use the same colors although I'm still deciding if the not-black parts of the dress will be purple or red. I want to add fire effects on the girl's hair (she can manipulate fire) and maybe the blades and make the hair strands look like they're turning into flames. And I might give her a fiery eye (something like Black Rock Shooter has).

I'll also be working on another chibi (I want a new avatar), and then I want to use both of the pictures on my tumblrrwesdfs. (I can't pronounce the name of the site; it's so lame I swear.)

Angi

Retired Moderator

Angi

But it is not this day!

I'm kinda bad explaining x.x I find her pose rather straight, so I picked your sketch and transformed a bit >.< sorry for taking it x.x
here
Her hair has a lot of movement, so her body shouldn't be so static I think >.>

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elisadevelon

Retired Moderator

elisadevelon

The purple vamp

I like that! You're right, it is prolly too static. So can I use the modified image now? xD Send me a PM pls.

Danielly

Danielly

Crucify my Love...

@xangel0 i think that if the hair will be like on fire she can be straight as eli had done humn
@Eli and since you are going to add a lot of red and orange for the fire maybe leave her clothes purple?
i think to give more movement instead of changing the chara posture eli could just add like fire beans spiralling around her like she's standing straight but the fire makes the hair move?

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Angi

Retired Moderator

Angi

But it is not this day!

As for the colors I'll leave you some links
Link 1 and Link 2
You can search for palletes or make your own, there are tons of options if you're not sure of what colors to choose.

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This day we fight!

pandemonium91

Retired Moderator, Tagger

pandemonium91

Danielly is spot on on the boots; look for hiking boots in more angles :)
Seconding Angi on ColourLovers as inspiration, though be warned that it's like the TVTropes of patterns; get food and water while you visit that site, 'cause you're gonna be there a while.

The folds look OK to me. I'd add another line on her neck that connects to her shoulder, make that sternocleidoetc muscle more visible and her movement more natural. As it is, it looks like someone broke her neck lol (I didn't notice it either until someone pointed it out to me).
You can also add two vertical (slightly curved) lines behind her knees to emphasize the biceps.
I'm aware that these sound pretentious as hell, but it's small details like this that make the whole pic more awesome and less 2D.

If she's the same chara as the one in your avatar, you can add some fire to the image and have that as an explanation for her hair moving while the rest of her body is "stiff". Have some fire swirling around near her head or something of the sorts~

If you can't handle me at my best, then you don't deserve me at my worst!

the problem is the movement of the hair compared to the pose of the body like Xangel0 told you...it confused me a bit...it almost seemed like the air was flying all around but the sketch is really cool!

Valuna

Retired Moderator

Valuna

Naughty Artist

Even if xangel did a pretty nice job in correcting the pose, I do think I must say something about it.

Original pose: a bit too "neutral"
Angel's pose: normal pose, normal everything. Its fine/decent.
Best pose: give dynamics to the pose by "exaggerating".

The last one is what should be aimed for. For example, you could thrust her pelvis quite a bit forward, while her legs are more backwards and the top body aswell. This depends on the level of the artist. It's a bit difficult for me to correct it (I'm not that pro either, but close enough). Don't be afraid to exaggerate when drawing in manga style. As long as it makes anatonomical enough sense, it WILL look much more appealing. Just for your information in perhaps, future works.

On technical point to improve/change at the least:
Comment about her neck. I think it is a bit too long, which makes it look dislocated or rather odd. Aside from that, her back on the top should be a bit more twisted sideways. Turning your neck between 90-180° is a bit painful.

Hope it helps. I have some issues that it is very difficult to draw stuff for you, so you will have to deal with text and hopefully understand where I'm getting at.

These beautiful, fragile days are reborn, unfaded
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elisadevelon

Retired Moderator

elisadevelon

The purple vamp

Sooo, I wasn't able to work on this very much during the week and only managed to get this far: image

The BG is grey to make it easier to see the flames. I moved the parts of the girl's body like Angi suggested and I think it was a really good idea. Thanks, Angi! :D
@Val: I'll try to exaggerate more next time. >:D )

In regard to the colors, I have my own palette for the girl, which I'll be using. Those sites are great, though. I'll probably make use of them in the future. Thanks again for that, too! *u*

About the neck:
@Pande: I tried to add a line to emphasize the muscle but I didn't like it so I'll prolly just leave it as it is. D:
@Val: Yeah, her body should be more twisted now that I'm looking at it but I don't have the patience to redraw her. And I don't know but the length of the neck looks ok to me. :/

Once I start shadowing her (and be sure that my shadowing is going to ruin everything), I'll definitely look up those hiking boots. Thanks to both of you, Pande and Danielly! :)

And probably the last thing - fire is difficult to paint and I used a website for this and I guess it's decent but I still have a feeling it's somehow incomplete. I'm planning to use an orange-ish or yellowish gradient on the ends of her hair. Would anyone suggest anythng else? Also, isn't the fiery eye too much?
@DragonBlood: I hope you can see the twin tails now that it's colored.

P.S. You're all amazing and I appreciate your advice so sooo much. Thank you all for all the suggestions and improvements. You guys are just awesome and I'm so happy and grateful that you're trying to help me. <3

Kurorisa

Kurorisa

Zero Squadron

since the thread is still open I hope you don't mind me crashing xD;
the upper part is ok already. don't forget to give more orange/fire-ish hue around her so it looks shining!

I think the upper leg is a bit too short? and like Valuna said, it's better to give an exaggerating pose, so you can give stretching legs and bend the knees like she's getting ready to attack.

also you can give an effect that it looks like a wind is striking not only on the hair but on the clothes as well.

that's it from me :)

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elisadevelon

Retired Moderator

elisadevelon

The purple vamp

This time, I'm not changing the pose anymore. I'd probably have to re-draw a lot and I've already started coloring her so... sorry. I really appreciate the good will, though.

In regard to the fire - she's a fire elemental and only her hair was supposed to be slowly transforming into fire. I didn't want any wind around her. Her hair is floating pretty much just because there's like magical power whirling around it and moving, and of course to give the flames a bit of unearthly feel. So yeah.

Here's what she looks like now. Like I said, my sense for choosing the right placement for shadows is almost zero and I'm totally not satisfied with the shadows for folds but screw this. ಠ_ಠ

Valuna

Retired Moderator

Valuna

Naughty Artist

Hmm..now I look at it more coloured, the fire looks odd. It looks more like firey-lightning than fire. The hot lines look a lot like lightning...fire is more robust and powerful looking. It really looks off at her eyes, the rest is alright. I like colouring, brings in the halloween mood. Hope you finish her soon and submit to MT with a nice background :3

These beautiful, fragile days are reborn, unfaded
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Kurorisa

Kurorisa

Zero Squadron

hahaha I see. love the coloring though! I agree on Valuna about the fire look like lightning. maybe try to copy the fire and then blur it? just to give it more volume so it'll look more like fire.

can't wait for the full version! :D

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elisadevelon

Retired Moderator

elisadevelon

The purple vamp

OK, uploaded to the gallery so I guess this thread can be closed.

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