My life seems to be going bad right now..
i dont really seem to completly know why..
i suppose i just need someone to talk to but basically no one understands
me....
i wrote this a while ago...
Quote: Confusion
what a is a girl to do.
I find a man, who i really truly love, and trust him with everything ,
my life,past,present,future
i give him my love.....everything
i even give him myself...
i find out...
he tells me he doesnt think i am for him
but i know that he is my one
the one i am to be with forever, for my entire life,
he doesnt love me as much as he used to
but my love still carrys on...
but
stronger.
I do not understand why..
why my life must be in constant pain..
why the man i truly love does not love me at all...
i guess i am to be alone,
when my family dies...
i will be alone..
to care for myself alone..
to never have a proper family in the future,
to have a shoulder to cry on
the time i spent with that man when he came here...
it was soo important to me..
i never wanted to let him go...
i even gave myself to him..
to make him happy...
i would do anything to make him happy...
his happiness is important to me..
and him not truly wanting me anymore...
it kills me..
since he's left..
i've felt like dying...
my life doesnt matter without him..
i want him to be with me...
forever...
and he doesnt want me..
is it because of the way i am?
Because i am always depressed...
or maybe too cheery at times...
or maybe the way i look...
when he says 'i love you' to me it doesnt sound
as if it has anymore feeling..
it makes me want to die..
i've told him how much i love him..
i told him no matter what..
i would always love him..
if i didnt have him...
the only choice for me would be death...
i've never loved someone soo much in my entire life..
i've never wanted something in my entire life..
all i want is his love....
that is all i've ever wanted..
was someone who really loves me,
who wants to live with me..
who wants to hold me forever...
not leave me alone...
i dont want to be alone..
i will never be alone...
i refuse to be..
i just want happiness,
i found it...
but the person i love does not seem,
to have happiness with me...
i ruin everything well in my life..
he came here...
i was happy...
i thought we had fun...
but i dont think he wants to even speak to me anymore...its painful..
extremly..
all i want is him..
What do you think?
what should i do...
i know that i dont want to be alone..
i dont want to lose someone i care soo deeply about...
but lately it seems that he doesnt care about me..
im an emotional ,helpless person right now..
i feel like my whole life will end..
if he leaves me...
i wont feel alive anymore...
what are your opinions...what do you think...
Heyy toxictea
sometimes i feel like that also
don't give up
im sure you will have a great life
lol im most of the time alone also
my parents are going outside with my little bro
me in my room alone
and uhhm i dont think you are stupid by that
go more outside
(not like me)
go too your family
have fun
for the rest
i dont know what to do..:(
sry
i hope you are oke
if you need to talk to someone i want to
well..
see you later and have a nice day
yes, the problem also is that my mother died when i was only 7 years old from
cancer. I hardly remember her anymore. My father got rid of almost everything
she's ever touched over these past years. Its hard for me to remember what she
looked like or how her voice sounded like.
My family, well lets just say i dont really have a family anymore. My brother
has married and left the house, hasnt contacted us in a while. My little sister
who is only 13 years old refuses to come back home. So its just me and my
loveless father. Seriously, the only happiness i've ever had has been with this
man that i care so much about. And now he doesnt seem that interested in
me....it kills me. I'm even falling behind in school because i havent been there
for a while. I'm going back tomorrow and the school year is about 14 days away
from exams. Life seems soo useless sometimes.....>.<
The thing is also...that my friends dont seem soo friendly to me anymore...
i've been left completly alone...
my own love doesnt seem interested anymore..
i suck
i suck badly..
i am the worst person in the world...
i am supposed to be alone..
die alone..
i cant take it...
Quote by toxictea23yes, the problem
also is that my mother died when i was only 7 years old from cancer. I hardly
remember her anymore. My father got rid of almost everything she's ever touched
over these past years. Its hard for me to remember what she looked like or how
her voice sounded like.
My family, well lets just say i dont really have a family anymore. My brother
has married and left the house, hasnt contacted us in a while. My little sister
who is only 13 years old refuses to come back home. So its just me and my
loveless father. Seriously, the only happiness i've ever had has been with this
man that i care so much about. And now he doesnt seem that interested in
me....it kills me. I'm even falling behind in school because i havent been there
for a while. I'm going back tomorrow and the school year is about 14 days away
from exams. Life seems soo useless sometimes.....>.<
The thing is also...that my friends dont seem soo friendly to me anymore...
i've been left completly alone...my own love doesnt seem interested anymore..
i sucki suck badly..i am the worst person in the world...
i am supposed to be alone..die alone..i cant take it...
I'm
sorry that you had to go through life living alone, and I'm sure that you need
friends. Don't drop out of school now because you don't have anyone to look up
to in the family. Your friends are there to help you out as best as they can. If
you want someone to talk to, you may talk to me about your problems. I will
listen as best as I could and provide answers to your questions to the best of
my knowledge.
Quote by melmachine18I'm
sorry that you had to go through life living alone, and I'm sure that
you need friends. Don't drop out of school now because you don't have
anyone to look up to in the family. Your friends are there to help you
out as best as they can. If you want someone to talk to, you may talk
to me about your problems. I will listen as best as I could and provide
answers to your questions to the best of my knowledge.
Yes thank you..
but nothing seems soo important to me anymore....
i dont feel like life is worth it.
I love him too much...
you dont really know how powerful love is until you feel it.
I know that he knows i love him a lot.
He doesnt contact me that much anymore...
why?!
i want to know....
he tells me its nothing...nothings wrong..
but i know something is...
i want him..
and i know you might say that you cant always get what you want...
but i've never asked for anything in my life before..
i dont care if i die...as long as i die with him by my side...knowing that he
still loves me...
we are supposed to get married too.....and now i feel like he doesnt want to
anymore...
It seems to me that you love him so much because he is also a replacement for
your family. And maybe he can't handle this.
But if my theory is wrong, I won't bother you with any possible solutions...
(I'm not sure if I can help you, but it's worth a try)
Quote by Mizu-kunIt seems to me that you
love him so much because he is also a
replacement for your family. And maybe he can't handle this. But if my
theory is wrong, I won't bother you with any possible solutions... (I'm
not sure if I can help you, but it's worth a try)
No, he's not a replacement for my family.
The problem is.....why he doesnt love me anymore.
I know it must of been something i did, or maybe because he just got tired of
me...
i just want to know.
I already know that there is no one out there for me besides him. You can feel
these things ya know?
It just hurts to know that someone you love might not love you anymore.
Its painful ne?
Quote by Mizu-kunIt seems to me that you
love him so much because he is also a
replacement for your family. And maybe he can't handle this. But if my
theory is wrong, I won't bother you with any possible solutions... (I'm
not sure if I can help you, but it's worth a try)
that's
kind of what my first impression was too. maybe consciously you didn't mean for
him to be a replacement, but he felt that maybe you were coming on a little too
strong? i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through all of those things with
your family... it must have been tough. if you need someone/want someone to talk
to you may talk to me about your problems too... it's hard when you find out
someone you like/love might not feel the same way about you... i had a similar
situation, not as serious as getting married, but it was still hard when he told
me he didn't like me that way...
im so sorry you feel this way....
you should turn to God for help and pray everything works out
i will also be praying for you, dont give up, people werent meant to live alone
thats why God is always there for us. ^_^
i'm still so confused and helpless and feel like dying.
I really love him, and its almost impossible to get him out of my mind.
Everything i think of or do or see , i see him T.T
its insane.
I just want to have a talk with him but its getting hard. His internet is turned
off and he's always working now for hours at college.....
i just want to talk to him and clear things up...
i will be devistated if he wants to leave me... T.T
dont feel too bad, please. sometimes people care too much. just ask or write a
letter asking everything you want to know maybe you can get through it. i have
felt that way in the past. i have probably been on the giving end too, sad. the
best thing is to get it over with. there was a girl i started to like, we
talking a lot and she smilled and things where happy. Then i started to wish she
was my girlfriend and i thought too much about it and started to make myself
depresed. I probably screwed everything up. after i told her i liked her i felt
better but i was really stupid about it, ya know butterflies and not thinking,
after that it was bad. but things will get better.
I've been down that kinda road before... you think everything is going well and
you care about someone with the deepest depth of your heart and soul and then
you two get broken up for a reason that is a load of bull..... yes, this has
happened to me before and because of it... I don't believe love anymore...
why dont you have a talk with him....i guess its better to hear it from his
mouth......keeping your depression inside isnt gonna solve anything.....i think
its for the best that you find out from him yourself ^^ hope it all works out
well...trust me being depressed over something uncertain is only causing trouble
to yourself .....
Quote by toxictea23I just want to have
a talk with him but its getting hard. His internet is turned off and he's always
working now for hours at college.....
i just want to talk to him and clear things up...
i will be devistated if he wants to leave me... T.T
well are
you sure he's just not studying? b/c if he's in college then finals should be
coming up... i know at least during finals i get very antisocial. before you
start feeling used and everything, please talk to him. don't jump to
conclusions.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! Thats soooooooooo sad im soooooooo sorry u had 2 go
thhrough that.
i really hope that in time u will b able 2 heal. I give u lots of love from me
and u know all yur other friends will b behind u 1000%.
Love is sometimes dangerous cos it makes you do crazy things liek jump of a
building but it defines us that we are human and feelings shape us in many
different ways possible. You are not alone in all of this, there are people like
us loners who have diffeerent aspects and causes to our weird natures but its us
who stick togehter that you will never feel alone...You just have to open up to
him girl, it doesnt hurt to talk! Dont worry everything will be fine girl, just
have to remmebre "Love forever, love is free..."
My life seems to be going bad right now..
i dont really seem to completly know why..
i suppose i just need someone to talk to but basically no one understands me....
i wrote this a while ago...
What do you think?
what should i do...
i know that i dont want to be alone..
i dont want to lose someone i care soo deeply about...
but lately it seems that he doesnt care about me..
im an emotional ,helpless person right now..
i feel like my whole life will end..
if he leaves me...
i wont feel alive anymore...
what are your opinions...what do you think...
i dont care if you call me stupid...
I think that you should not give up hang in there and you will see that everything will get better for you!!!
Heyy toxictea
sometimes i feel like that also
don't give up
im sure you will have a great life
lol im most of the time alone also
my parents are going outside with my little bro
me in my room alone
and uhhm i dont think you are stupid by that
go more outside
(not like me)
go too your family
have fun
for the rest
i dont know what to do..:(
sry
i hope you are oke
if you need to talk to someone i want to
well..
see you later and have a nice day
Really sad... :'(
yes, the problem also is that my mother died when i was only 7 years old from cancer. I hardly remember her anymore. My father got rid of almost everything she's ever touched over these past years. Its hard for me to remember what she looked like or how her voice sounded like.
My family, well lets just say i dont really have a family anymore. My brother has married and left the house, hasnt contacted us in a while. My little sister who is only 13 years old refuses to come back home. So its just me and my loveless father. Seriously, the only happiness i've ever had has been with this man that i care so much about. And now he doesnt seem that interested in me....it kills me. I'm even falling behind in school because i havent been there for a while. I'm going back tomorrow and the school year is about 14 days away from exams. Life seems soo useless sometimes.....>.<
The thing is also...that my friends dont seem soo friendly to me anymore...
i've been left completly alone...
my own love doesnt seem interested anymore..
i suck
i suck badly..
i am the worst person in the world...
i am supposed to be alone..
die alone..
i cant take it...
I'm sorry that you had to go through life living alone, and I'm sure that you need friends. Don't drop out of school now because you don't have anyone to look up to in the family. Your friends are there to help you out as best as they can. If you want someone to talk to, you may talk to me about your problems. I will listen as best as I could and provide answers to your questions to the best of my knowledge.
Yes thank you..
but nothing seems soo important to me anymore....
i dont feel like life is worth it.
I love him too much...
you dont really know how powerful love is until you feel it.
I know that he knows i love him a lot.
He doesnt contact me that much anymore...
why?!
i want to know....
he tells me its nothing...nothings wrong..
but i know something is...
i want him..
and i know you might say that you cant always get what you want...
but i've never asked for anything in my life before..
i dont care if i die...as long as i die with him by my side...knowing that he still loves me...
we are supposed to get married too.....and now i feel like he doesnt want to anymore...
It seems to me that you love him so much because he is also a replacement for your family. And maybe he can't handle this.
But if my theory is wrong, I won't bother you with any possible solutions... (I'm not sure if I can help you, but it's worth a try)
No, he's not a replacement for my family.
The problem is.....why he doesnt love me anymore.
I know it must of been something i did, or maybe because he just got tired of me...
i just want to know.
I already know that there is no one out there for me besides him. You can feel these things ya know?
It just hurts to know that someone you love might not love you anymore.
Its painful ne?
that's kind of what my first impression was too. maybe consciously you didn't mean for him to be a replacement, but he felt that maybe you were coming on a little too strong? i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through all of those things with your family... it must have been tough. if you need someone/want someone to talk to you may talk to me about your problems too... it's hard when you find out someone you like/love might not feel the same way about you... i had a similar situation, not as serious as getting married, but it was still hard when he told me he didn't like me that way...
im so sorry you feel this way....
you should turn to God for help and pray everything works out
i will also be praying for you, dont give up, people werent meant to live alone thats why God is always there for us. ^_^
i'm still so confused and helpless and feel like dying.
I really love him, and its almost impossible to get him out of my mind. Everything i think of or do or see , i see him T.T
its insane.
I just want to have a talk with him but its getting hard. His internet is turned off and he's always working now for hours at college.....
i just want to talk to him and clear things up...
i will be devistated if he wants to leave me... T.T
dont feel too bad, please. sometimes people care too much. just ask or write a letter asking everything you want to know maybe you can get through it. i have felt that way in the past. i have probably been on the giving end too, sad. the best thing is to get it over with. there was a girl i started to like, we talking a lot and she smilled and things where happy. Then i started to wish she was my girlfriend and i thought too much about it and started to make myself depresed. I probably screwed everything up. after i told her i liked her i felt better but i was really stupid about it, ya know butterflies and not thinking, after that it was bad. but things will get better.
My words would probaly not help you at all to be honest. This sorta reminds me of a poem written by Nikki Giovanni
she wanted to be a blade
of grass amid the fields
but he wouldn't agree
to be the dandelion
she wanted to be a robin singing
through the leaves
but he refused to be
her tree
she spun herself into a web
and looking for a place to rest
turned to him
but he stood straight
declining to be her corner
she tried to be a book
but he wouldnt read
she turned herself into a bulb
but he wouldnt let her grow
she decided to become
a woman
and though he still refused
to be a man
she decided it was all
right
I know this may sound hurtful and I apologize
but maybe
just maybe he is not the one you were truly looking for...
Though I may of just sounded like a jerk to you...
But that doesnt mean you should give up and im cheering for you
i feel soo useless, and used by him now...
i feel terrible T.T
What do you mean by "Used?" Something tells me its negative.
I've been down that kinda road before... you think everything is going well and you care about someone with the deepest depth of your heart and soul and then you two get broken up for a reason that is a load of bull..... yes, this has happened to me before and because of it... I don't believe love anymore...
i still want to know if he still feels the same about me...i dont want to lose him....
i cant bear the thought of it T.T
i really really love him..
o.0 whoa sounds like your speaking of me as a computer
why dont you have a talk with him....i guess its better to hear it from his mouth......keeping your depression inside isnt gonna solve anything.....i think its for the best that you find out from him yourself ^^ hope it all works out well...trust me being depressed over something uncertain is only causing trouble to yourself .....
well are you sure he's just not studying? b/c if he's in college then finals should be coming up... i know at least during finals i get very antisocial. before you start feeling used and everything, please talk to him. don't jump to conclusions.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! Thats soooooooooo sad im soooooooo sorry u had 2 go thhrough that.
i really hope that in time u will b able 2 heal. I give u lots of love from me and u know all yur other friends will b behind u 1000%.
Love is sometimes dangerous cos it makes you do crazy things liek jump of a building but it defines us that we are human and feelings shape us in many different ways possible. You are not alone in all of this, there are people like us loners who have diffeerent aspects and causes to our weird natures but its us who stick togehter that you will never feel alone...You just have to open up to him girl, it doesnt hurt to talk! Dont worry everything will be fine girl, just have to remmebre "Love forever, love is free..."
If you need advice just PPM me of you wnat..