I have madea poem here and i want you.........minitokyo........to judge it for me.........please be honest as you can..........

Just a memory.....

I cry in the darkness
There is nothing I can do
You walked away
Now I am trying to find you

Nothing but a memory
You and I
Lost in the fight
I think to myself why

We used to be so close
So devoted to each other
But no more
Now its another

Why is it when you left I was fine
But now that your gone it hurts so much
I cannot even say your name
All I think of is your soft touch

I am searching for nothing
Your gone for good
I cannot get you back
Though I wish I could

Heh...this sounds almost exactly like what I am still kinda going through. Although I'm recovering a bit better now and starting to move on. Still, good poem.

Yea... I know exactly how this poem is. but i'm over having arguemets like this.

Why is it when you left I was fine
But now that your gone it hurts so much
I cannot even say your name
All I think of is your soft touch

Perfectly describes the guilt and regret you feel.
good poem.

Well this type for "feelings" poem is good as it describes your feeling...and people usually are able to relate it...but you could make it lyrical and then it can become a song...

I'm sorry that you loss something you deem special..but new ones will always replace what you loss.....

Be happy

Hm...it is a nice poem and makes a lot of sense. I feel for you, though I've haven't experienced this as of yet. The only thing that bothers me is the third stanza.

Quote by starfiremoon
We used to be so close
So devoted to each other
But no more
Now its another

I think that the last line is a bit short. This is just a modification but I think it goes better with the flow.

We used to be so close
So devoted to each other
But now no more
It is all for another

Wow, very nice! It flows quite well

wow...it's very nice...and very sweet ^^ I really like it.
I'm not really good with poems...so I dunno...I would say it's fine with me ^^

Interesting rhyme scheme you have going there. And I can tell that the poem is really heart felt - something that you've been going through?

It's these kinds of emotions that come out through poetry that make it good. I like this one a lot =D