Why the heavens do not miss you
i shall not understand;
for the looks God gave you
were the greatest ever given to man,
with such calm, smooth voice
you can get whatever you demand,
and the words you speak make all the women
melt like butter in your hand.
don't look to hard;
beautiful eyes can enchant a woman's soul;
to feel your touch makes me go crazy
beyond control,
to kiss your soft,wet, luscous lips
is a taste of happiness,
you look handsome in what you wear,
so i feel for your your style of dress.
but most of all, you're the greatest
love on earth there will ever be,
and i thanks the heavens every night for sending you to me
Dude I loved your other poem so much! This one is ok, good job, it's just that I
get a sort of superficial feeling while reading it. But, that's just me. I'm
still a fan of your work! :P
Your poem says that you're still very much in love. It carries the very essence
of the love's beauty and charm but like most poems, the lines seem forced just
for the sake of rhyming.
i envision it to be a river, calm and inviting, but big boulders along its way
is blocking its full elegance. If you want to, you could rephrase it a bit to
make it more... you. I couldn't help you though since even I haven't made a poem
that I could consider wonderful.
Hmmm.... I read a lot of poetry each day (it's me job), and I hear the same
sort of theme. But I haven't heard it expressed in such a manner. I really
enjoyed reading it, and as in your sig, you put detail in it enough to give a
mental picture.
Rating:4.3 (I think that's the second highest I've ever given).
Work: An enjoyment to read.
The first 6 lines are great, then it turns and tumbles kind of in an imbalanced
word choice.
I really did like the first lines, it's a great approach for the rest of the
poem.
I'd revamp after though,
it can be greater,
I just know.
I'm sorry I didn't read this before, I'm sorry for me
Cause this poem cuts through. You're the abandon one and I'm on the other side
of the blade, the one who left my luv one, I can relate to your poem from the
other side of your perpective, that's why it cuts through and slices me to
pieces.
Fallen angel
Why the heavens do not miss you
i shall not understand;
for the looks God gave you
were the greatest ever given to man,
with such calm, smooth voice
you can get whatever you demand,
and the words you speak make all the women
melt like butter in your hand.
don't look to hard;
beautiful eyes can enchant a woman's soul;
to feel your touch makes me go crazy
beyond control,
to kiss your soft,wet, luscous lips
is a taste of happiness,
you look handsome in what you wear,
so i feel for your your style of dress.
but most of all, you're the greatest
love on earth there will ever be,
and i thanks the heavens every night for sending you to me
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you create that piece of work? If yesh, ur a total genious. Keep up the great poetry work!
Laterz...
Dude I loved your other poem so much! This one is ok, good job, it's just that I get a sort of superficial feeling while reading it. But, that's just me. I'm still a fan of your work! :P
hey thats pretty good. Im just loving it!! ^_^
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. beautiful i love it thatis great. keep up the great work. keep them coming
yup i really like this poem good job (i read it don't doubt me :P)
Wow! This poem is very nice!! ^^ I write poems, too!!
Wounderful poem thedarkness, great job.
How beautiful ^_^ .................. nice work!!
..................................reminds me of someone.......................Very nice!!!
wow!! that is beautiful, want to make me cry, just kiddin'
but i really think it good.
where u got the inspiration?
i got my inpiration from a girl. we broke up.
Loooooooooooooooovely poem *snif* I want to cryyyyyy *snif*
I love your poem.
Your poem says that you're still very much in love. It carries the very essence of the love's beauty and charm but like most poems, the lines seem forced just for the sake of rhyming.
i envision it to be a river, calm and inviting, but big boulders along its way is blocking its full elegance. If you want to, you could rephrase it a bit to make it more... you. I couldn't help you though since even I haven't made a poem that I could consider wonderful.
Good luck.
Awww!! That's so cute! Is that for your girlfriend? I'm sure she will like it very much. ^_^
Thank you for sharing.
thnxs you for all of you who read this poem. i'm glad that all of you like it.
tthnxs you
yea wooooooooo(wistle)
I read it all over again cause I love readin all your poems!!!! They each carries a wonderful meanin^_^
Hmmm.... I read a lot of poetry each day (it's me job), and I hear the same sort of theme. But I haven't heard it expressed in such a manner. I really enjoyed reading it, and as in your sig, you put detail in it enough to give a mental picture.
Rating:4.3 (I think that's the second highest I've ever given).
Work: An enjoyment to read.
The first 6 lines are great, then it turns and tumbles kind of in an imbalanced word choice.
I really did like the first lines, it's a great approach for the rest of the poem.
I'd revamp after though,
it can be greater,
I just know.
WOW those are some great poems!!!!
I really liked them!!
Keep up the good work!
I love them!!!!
Take care!!
P.s:
Sensation; wow!!!! I can only imagine!!
Great work!
personal fav!!
I'm sorry I didn't read this before, I'm sorry for me
Cause this poem cuts through. You're the abandon one and I'm on the other side
of the blade, the one who left my luv one, I can relate to your poem from the
other side of your perpective, that's why it cuts through and slices me to
pieces.
Emotion Flowed through THAT! You must have worked on it for a long time!!