This thread of mine is similar to 'UK's Education is destroyed'.
Please share your experiences here.
_________________________________________
I realised a few days ago that I had been going through major depression during
my years in Secondary School. It was difficult to learn anything because of the
distracting idiots who try to stop other people from learning.
When I was 12, I used to be so energetic and I would be very competitive with my
friends when it came to school work. I was pretty much like Rikku. You won't
believe how alike we really are.
When me and my friends were about 14, we hardly saw each other outside of
school. Just seeing them reminded me of school, and how much I hated it! School
drove me into a deep depression that it took my strengh with me. My self
confidents went. All I was left with was an incredible amount of hate that I was
afraid I might turn into some kind of monster. Probaly Darth Vader.
The stress and depression sometimes make my burst of anger out of the blue when
I try to suppress it. I got weakened by it.
I used to play computer games 24/7 because I wanted to forget I lived in the
real world. The amount of times I dreamed about being forcefully taken from this
world into a world where I could be happy. I used to have difficulty telling the
difference between dream and reality.
This should have never happened!!
It has taken me over a year to recover (still am) from my depression. I had a
conversation with someone who I had similar interests with. It's been a long
time since I had a good conversation like that. I felt like 12 again.
I have some disturbing things here (remember, my teen years were pretty much
destroyed). I'm 17 years old. I sometimes find myself being attracted to girls
2-3 years younger!! I'm attracted to older girls as well, but I think I know why
I'm attracted to younger girls. Since I had no teen life really, I feel I missed
out on some great things. I had never had a girlfriend because I was too
depressing to be with. But now that I'm a bit cured, I feel much happy. I really
wish I could turn into a 12 years old. I miss being so energetic, carefree and
very happy.
In the end, I have to face the fact that I'm not 12 anymore. Guess really the
kind of girl I want (regardless of age) is simply someone to hold me, make me
laugh and be very cheerful. That would make me really happy.
Now I feel like an idiot for writing that all down.
I was diagnosed with depression a long time ago by my doctor. Anyways the cause
of this depression was the constant abuse of my parents, the rejections I face
daily etc. For all my life ive been single and I always get angry about it
because all the girls I like run off with these retards with a 0.0 GPA and girls
never look my way I was always unable to deal with my depression so many night i
would get a knife and stand over my parents with a great intent to kill but i
dont know what it was that stops me every night until one day i couldn't take it
anymore and I slit my wrist. Unfortunately I didnt bleed to death. Everyday I
want to just escape this world. I have often dreamed of a far off place where
people who understand me will be. I can take this world no more only the
constant guidance of a really good friend of mine here on MT YukitaRiku keeps me
from doing what can never be undone. I dont expect anyone to care about my
story. *sigh* I hate myself
I'm going through depression and Anxiety. It's not easy for me cause i'm going
through one proble to another. Well it's not as bad as it was years ago for me.
Quote by KyrokushenI was diagnosed
with depression a long time ago by my doctor. Anyways the cause of this
depression was the constant abuse of my parents, the rejections I face daily
etc. For all my life ive been single and I always get angry about it because
all the girls I like run off with these retards with a 0.0 GPA and girls never
look my way I was always unable to deal with my depression so many night i would
get a knife and stand over my parents with a great intent to kill but i dont
know what it was that stops me every night until one day i couldn't take it
anymore and I slit my wrist. Unfortunately I didnt bleed to death. Everyday I
want to just escape this world. I have often dreamed of a far off place where
people who understand me will be. I can take this world no more only the
constant guidance of a really good friend of mine here on MT YukitaRiku keeps me
from doing what can never be undone. I dont expect anyone to care about my
story. *sigh* I hate myself
I know how you feel. I got so depressed at school. Most of the girls were
attracted to fat-heads (the girls were not really that great anyway). I felt
very abused by the whole education system. I usually smile to pretend nothing
happen, but that was too difficult to keep up. I have actually cut myself. It
felt quite addictive. It made me feel a bit better. The amount of time I thought
about death was unbelievable!
I seem to be Batman sometimes. I have this mask which is my own face, smiling.
My real face isn't smiling.
THis is absolutely , undoubtedly correct.! I immigrated to US 7 yrs ago., I
had a really good pal and he was almost like real brother,. Sadly, I went to US
and missed all the time we spent together. In US, I found another good friend,
we spent our time together for 5 yrs, however, he too left me, Cuz I moved! .
From then, NO contact at all. At my new dwelling area, I found 2 more good
friends,.. But no longer than 2 yrs. we went to our own path again! With
all these separation and union , It weakened me. Somehow, I am not so willingly
to be cheered, or to talk to ppl. During the time I constanly think of those
old friends, hope we might see each other again and stay the way we used to be.
But just a few months ago, I once again saw my 5 yr friend again when I was
leaving from my Teacher's party. I saw him moving closer and closer to the
teacher 's house, but I lost that feeling of wanting to talk to him or to get
back the way it was even though I was only a few hundred feets away., simply due
to the struggle i went through,and all those dismay that happened to me!
I was a intrepid mighty tiger , but its only the past!
_________________________________________________
This is to ur girl liking stuff!
_________________________________________________
U like young girlz becuase they posses the inoccence or rather cute trait,
which u missed as u mentioned! U like older girlz because they have bigger
boobs and bigger asses, and they have a true feeling of feminine!
Quote by cold-cabin-in-darkTHis
is absolutely , undoubtedly correct.! I immigrated to US 7 yrs ago., I had a
really good pal and he was almost like real brother,. Sadly, I went to US and
missed all the time we spent together. In US, I found another good friend, we
spent our time together for 5 yrs, however, he too left me, Cuz I moved! . From
then, NO contact at all. At my new dwelling area, I found 2 more good
friends,.. But no longer than 2 yrs. we went to our own path again! With
all these separation and union , It weakened me. Somehow, I am not so willingly
to be cheered, or to talk to ppl. During the time I constanly think of those
old friends, hope we might see each other again and stay the way we used to be.
But just a few months ago, I once again saw my 5 yr friend again when I was
leaving from my Teacher's party. I saw him moving closer and closer to the
teacher 's house, but I lost that feeling of wanting to talk to him or to get
back the way it was even though I was only a few hundred feets away., simply due
to the struggle i went through,and all those dismay that happened to me!
I was a intrepid mighty tiger , but its only the
past!
I know how you feel. I've been betrayed so many times by my friends that I
prefered to have less and less contact with people. I became such a loner, and I
still am. I'm still quite cynical. Trust is a trait that is rarely seen in my
life.
Half of my stress came from the school's inability to do something about it (the
distracting idiots at school). People would think whenever I cried, it was
because of what the other person did. I truly cried due to the fact I had no
choice but to put up with it!
Perhaps I should have gone to see a doctor. Stress was taking a huge toll on my
physical health.
Didn't quite get that. You're saying I'm a girl? Or you say I like girls stuff?
So you're saying I'm a Tom-Girl?
Quote by cold-cabin-in-darkU
like young girlz becuase they posses the inoccence or rather cute trait, which
u missed as u mentioned! U like older girlz because they have bigger boobs and
bigger asses, and they have a true feeling of
feminine!
If I did have a younger girlfriend, I will not pressure her into sex. I would
only have sex with her if she wanted to. Infact, she'd pressure me.
I'm not really a fan of older girls anymore. They have been through what I
haven't been through. As far as I'm concerned, I haven't been through puberty
mentally.
I sometimes feel guilty for liking younger girls.
My depresion is that I am unable to be with my love.Because of the distance that
sepparates us.
No one understands, especially my parents.
I constantly think of dying and at least once a week cry myself to sleep.
I have almost no one who I can seriously talk to.
The only thing I have in common with my classmates is that we go to the same
school.
I am always cynical and smilling on the outside, but I am in constant pain
inside.
I can't run away to a different world because my love is keeping me in this
one.
But there is too much lonlyness in it for me to handle.
I constantly think of letting my parents finding me dead in a pool of my own
blood.
To make them pay for their mistakes.
Depression is really serious. I'm glad that you're recovering, that's just
awesome. I hope everything only gets better from there. You will find that one
girl who'll make you happy, you seem like a great guy, and it only takes a bit
of time for you to find her. My friend actually had a bit of depression and
he'd always come in..depressed, grumpy and sad. I couldn't stand watching him
like that, so gradually I started talking to him and I guess he sort of perked
up from there. Now we're really good friends and I'm glad I took the time to
talk to him and make sure he was cool with everything. He's a really fun guy
and we're both happy now. Well, I wish you the best of everything and you take
care! ^^
One of my good freinds had a really bad bout of depression in High School...
It was hard seeing him go though it and i cant say that i would wish that on
anyone.
As long has u have good frineds to back you up they seem to help alot, well
thats what he told me.
Wow, you are a lot like me SonicWind. I had some really good friends in NYC, but
I lost track of all of them when I moved to the Dom. Rep. For some reason, when
I did, I stopped being as outgoing as I was and did my best to keep to myself.
Though from the beginning Ive had this great friend that has been trying to
change that. I want to change, but I think studies come first. Kyrokushen also
makes a point about girls. What do they see in those guys?
Quote by SonicWindIf you saw a 17 year
old guy going out with a 14 years old girl, how would you react to
that?
Id say you mean they... ahem*clears throat* Anyway, three years isnt that big a
deal (thats the age diference between my parents), unless they... ahem*clears
throat again*.
I went through similar circumstances, so I can relate to some of you too. School
became a bummer every year, so I dropped it as a junior, didn't even go the
first 2 weeks cause of a first love loss on top of the troubles. Seems like the
world is collapsing inwards, doesn't it. Can't seem to stand up as easy with the
weight of the world on your shoulders. I went through a heavy experimentation
and self-realization period for a while. Almost died experimenting drug
mixtures, still feel like I might be in some other universe existing from where
I died. It scared me shitless for 3 months, but I got over it.
The secret is finding a way to step back and realizing how miniscule our lives
really are. I looked back and realize that I was *at least* in love once, or so
I thought. It was exhilarating and scary to be with my love, but at least I had
something for any time at all.
You really gotta force the self to move around and change environments
constantly, never sitting down and accepting any one state of being. Look deep
inside and understand everything about yourself, what you are and how you built
your character, then change what it is that bugs you the most.
I started by building my integrity: Honesty - Avoid lies, they cause problems
and trust issues with everyone around you. It's a beginning, it will help.
My depression took a toll on my health. My dad had to drive me to school before
(it was only a mile away) because my energy got spent quickly. I became
exhausted. As soon as I got home, I would just fall on my bed for an hour. My
appettite (spelling?) was poor. I used to weigh 7.5 stones. My height hasn't
changed since. I'm 5'8". I'm still 5'8", but I'm 8.5 stonesnow.
It has taken me over a year to start making real recovery.
Quote by jeanie727I'm glad that you're
recovering, that's just awesome. I hope everything only gets better from there.
You will find that one girl who'll make you happy, you seem like a great guy,
and it only takes a bit of time for you to find her. Well, I wish you the best
of everything and you take care! ^^
That is the best compliment I have received in a long time. Thank you.
I know just how you feel..
I was in a deep depression.. maybe still am.. wasted my whole summer on it!
*sniff sniff* I let go of someone I really loved and cared about... I made
such a stupid mistake.. now it's impossible to turn back. My parents seem to
make everything worst.. Just last night I had the knife on my wrist.. for some
reason it made me feel happier. But I do try hard to keep a smile on my face for
my friends.. for my friends only..
Quote by SonicWindMy depression took a
toll on my health. My dad had to drive me to school before (it was only a mile
away) because my energy got spent quickly. I became exhausted. As soon as I got
home, I would just fall on my bed for an hour. My appettite (spelling?) was
poor. I used to weigh 7.5 stones. My height hasn't changed since. I'm 5'8".
I'm still 5'8", but I'm 8.5 stonesnow.
It has taken me over a year to start making real
recovery.
Hey SonicWind its a little scary to hear someonelse talk about how I fell, I've
been going through a depression for a number of years now, and I fined it very
hard to pull myself out of it. Sometimes I just want to smash everything I see
other times I fell so careing I want to help and hug evryone , Theres a poem I
read that helps me to feel better . I hope it can help others too.
"Invictus"
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as a Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how straight the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.
Even in my dreams (the sleeping kind, not fantasy) I feel depressed. Whenever I
have a dream about someone I want to hit, even in that dream I'm too
weak.
My most common fantasy at the time was to be suddenly transported accidently by
an out of control portal that only appears once every 1453452587393 years
(simply because it's out of control) into one of these worlds:
1) Love Hina
-I want to experience what a teen life should be
2) Dark Chronicle
-I want to take part in an adventure in which I can make a difference
3) Voices of a Distant Star
-I have never experienced exactly what love is
4) Final Fantasy x
-i want to make a difference by being a guardian and sacrificing myself to
become the Final Aeon. Even if it means becoming Sin.
5) Final Fantasy ix
-i want an adventure of self discovery
6) Resident Evil Code: Veronica
-I wanted someone I can protect
7) Sonic series
-I wanted friends I can trust. Even if it meant I had run around covered in
blue
I dreamed so much of being taken from this world into a world of happiness. Why
didn't I just die! Perhaps I could make a difference if I died to prove there is
some serious things that need to be done.
I had this sad dream once. I'm serious! I really had it. I was 16 I think at the
time and already left school.
In this dream, I was 14 years old. It's my birthday. I wake up, sit up and
looked out of the window to find my birthday present. It was a huge statue
taller than the house of my arm. The hand looked like it was grabbing an
invisible ball. Suddenly! There was bats everywhere in my room and I got
transported 10 years into the future by my 10 years older father. My room,
house, town and pretty much the whole planet was empty of people. The statue was
covered in vines. My dad was in like a futuristic suit @_@. He is trying to
figure out why I committed suicide at the age of 18. I find a diary in my room.
It's my diary. According to the last entry, I slit my wrist because I had to go
back to secondary school.
Of course, in real life my dad already knows why I was so depressed.
***************************
3rd September-
I saw one the idiots from my old school today. I suddenly felt all my hate and
depression come back. I also felt a bit weak. I felt he if he even walked up to
me to talk to me, I would have just knocked him out.
I was such a happy child when I was 12. I was so ambitious and competitive when
it came to education. If Tony Blair never f*cked up the education, I would have
a good chance of getting into universities such as Cambridge and
Oxford.
Occassionally after a karate class, I go to the pub with the seniors. I act so
childish there.
I have now realised that I am not a 17 years old. I have woke from a long
nightmare. I'm really a damaged 12 years old trying to act like an adult.
Quote by SonicWindEven in my dreams
(the sleeping kind, not fantasy) I feel depressed.
Whenever I have a dream about someone I want to hit, even in that dream
I'm too weak.
My most common fantasy at the time was to be suddenly transported
accidently by an out of control portal that only appears once every
1453452587393 years (simply because it's out of control) into one of
these worlds:
1) Love Hina
-I want to experience what a teen life should be
2) Dark Chronicle
-I want to take part in an adventure in which I can make a difference
3) Voices of a Distant Star
-I have never experienced exactly what love is
4) Final Fantasy x
-i want to make a difference by being a guardian and sacrificing myself
to become the Final Aeon. Even if it means becoming Sin.
5) Final Fantasy ix
-i want an adventure of self discovery
6) Resident Evil Code: Veronica
-I wanted someone I can protect
7) Sonic series
-I wanted friends I can trust. Even if it meant I had run around
covered in blue
I dreamed so much of being taken from this world into a world of
happiness. Why didn't I just die! Perhaps I could make a difference if
I died to prove there is some serious things that need to be done.
I had this sad dream once. I'm serious! I really had it. I was 16 I
think at the time and already left school.
In this dream, I was 14 years old. It's my birthday. I wake up, sit up
and looked out of the window to find my birthday present. It was a huge
statue taller than the house of my arm. The hand looked like it was
grabbing an invisible ball. Suddenly! There was bats everywhere in my
room and I got transported 10 years into the future by my 10 years
older father. My room, house, town and pretty much the whole planet was
empty of people. The statue was covered in vines. My dad was in like a
futuristic suit @_@. He is trying to figure out why I committed suicide
at the age of 18. I find a diary in my room. It's my diary. According
to the last entry, I slit my wrist because I had to go back to
secondary school.
Of course, in real life my dad already knows why I was so depressed.
***************************
3rd September-
I saw one the idiots from my old school today. I suddenly felt all my
hate and depression come back. I also felt a bit weak. I felt he if he
even walked up to me to talk to me, I would have just knocked him out.
I was such a happy child when I was 12. I was so ambitious and
competitive when it came to education. If Tony Blair never f*cked up
the education, I would have a good chance of getting into universities
such as Cambridge and Oxford.
Occassionally after a karate class, I go to the pub with the seniors. I
act so childish there.
I have now realised that I am not a 17 years old. I have woke from a
long nightmare. I'm really a damaged 12 years old trying to act like an
adult.
Hey you know who you remind me of? The character Houlden from Catcher in the
Rye! Have you read that book? It's by J. D. Salinger. It's a great book and I
recommend it!!! It's all about teen angst and trying to grow up but that same
time..not wanting to...sorta like that, it also deals with depression, etc. You
should read it!!!
I think I know why you want a girl that's younger then you. Cause there still
carefree of the world and they dont know anybetter. I know cause I'm this way.
Being to carefree is bad in a relationship trust me.
Well anway I'm sorry to hear that your in a deperssion. But instead of always
thinking of what could happen or what did happen you need to do something about
it. Staying inside and playing video game all day and wishing to live in a life
that has nothing depressing in it isn't gonna help. It's only gonna make things
worst. You need to wake up and notice what you have and what you want. Stop
living in a dream. Go out and do something about it and stop feeling bad about
yourself.
Im sorry if I sound mean but I'm just telling you what I personaly feel. I know
it hurts to be derpessed but ignoring it isn't gonna help. Stop looking at what
had happend and the past and move on.
Never think about killing/hurting yourself, that's just pointless. I would try
to convience you to not fool yourself by being attracted to people that way, but
I've almost given up on trying to explain that to people, they're just too
stubborn
Don't waste your existence being depressed, school isn't everything. Just learn
as much as you can and try to live as long as you can. I hope this meant
something to you. ^_~
Not long ago two girls really liked me. They were my best friends, day after day
i see them fight over me, online, in school, one day it actually got physical. I
felt so guilty, because of me they were fighting. I did'nt know what to do if i
picked one girl the other would be crushed and heart broken. So i ended up not
being either of their boyfriend, for a while their were pissed at me and i was
alone. thats when i sunk into depression. But then they got over it. I know it
was'nt my fault they fought but i just felt so guilty.
Quote by AlishaI think I know why you want
a girl that's younger then you. Cause there still carefree of the world and they
dont know anybetter. I know cause I'm this way. Being to carefree is bad in a
relationship trust me.
Well anway I'm sorry to hear that your in a deperssion. But instead of always
thinking of what could happen or what did happen you need to do something about
it. Staying inside and playing video game all day and wishing to live in a life
that has nothing depressing in it isn't gonna help. It's only gonna make things
worst. You need to wake up and notice what you have and what you want. Stop
living in a dream. Go out and do something about it and stop feeling bad about
yourself.
Im sorry if I sound mean but I'm just telling you what I personaly feel. I know
it hurts to be derpessed but ignoring it isn't gonna help. Stop looking at what
had happend and the past and move on.
Losing myself in video games was the only way to relax. I needed a dream world
to relax in. It was all I had to keep me alive and my sanity.
I'm glad to say my old way of life is shedding. I'm going to sell my games on
ebay. Get rid of those awful memories.
Nice story... usually in my country kids go to 1st grade when they are 7y/o
I skipped 1st grade and went to 2nd grade when i was 6y/o (i was so smart
then...)
now its still not hard for me to learn but i'm too lazy.. i'm 14y/o kid.. going
to 10th grade..
around me there are 16y/o teens drinking/smoking.. i was drinking.. didn't like
the morning.. was drunk another day... but i stopped... now i'm 14 y/o (like i
said) and i can't learn.. couse i feel very depressed just like u were when u
were 14. everyone in class is 16y/o i've very weak, playing computer games 24/7
i decided to try to get better grades this year.. couse in 9th grade i got C and
D ... they still put me in 10th didn't leave me in 9th grade... about dreams at
night.. i just want to kill everything.. i remember a person, and i dream of
killing him, skinning him.. doing something that might give him pain for a long
time.. (till he dies)..
when i take a knife in my hand, i just want to kill someone, but i can't.. couse
i'm not some killer.. previous year.. i learnt that there is some japanese
university.. in my country.. if u pass, you can go to japan, study there.. i'm
planing to study hard now...
This thread of mine is similar to 'UK's Education is destroyed'.
Please share your experiences here.
_________________________________________
I realised a few days ago that I had been going through major depression during my years in Secondary School. It was difficult to learn anything because of the distracting idiots who try to stop other people from learning.
When I was 12, I used to be so energetic and I would be very competitive with my friends when it came to school work. I was pretty much like Rikku. You won't believe how alike we really are.
When me and my friends were about 14, we hardly saw each other outside of school. Just seeing them reminded me of school, and how much I hated it! School drove me into a deep depression that it took my strengh with me. My self confidents went. All I was left with was an incredible amount of hate that I was afraid I might turn into some kind of monster. Probaly Darth Vader.
The stress and depression sometimes make my burst of anger out of the blue when I try to suppress it. I got weakened by it.
I used to play computer games 24/7 because I wanted to forget I lived in the real world. The amount of times I dreamed about being forcefully taken from this world into a world where I could be happy. I used to have difficulty telling the difference between dream and reality.
This should have never happened!!
It has taken me over a year to recover (still am) from my depression. I had a conversation with someone who I had similar interests with. It's been a long time since I had a good conversation like that. I felt like 12 again.
I have some disturbing things here (remember, my teen years were pretty much destroyed). I'm 17 years old. I sometimes find myself being attracted to girls 2-3 years younger!! I'm attracted to older girls as well, but I think I know why I'm attracted to younger girls. Since I had no teen life really, I feel I missed out on some great things. I had never had a girlfriend because I was too depressing to be with. But now that I'm a bit cured, I feel much happy. I really wish I could turn into a 12 years old. I miss being so energetic, carefree and very happy.
In the end, I have to face the fact that I'm not 12 anymore. Guess really the kind of girl I want (regardless of age) is simply someone to hold me, make me laugh and be very cheerful. That would make me really happy.
Now I feel like an idiot for writing that all down.
Hey don`t worry!!.. everything will fix!
I was diagnosed with depression a long time ago by my doctor. Anyways the cause of this depression was the constant abuse of my parents, the rejections I face daily etc. For all my life ive been single and I always get angry about it because all the girls I like run off with these retards with a 0.0 GPA and girls never look my way I was always unable to deal with my depression so many night i would get a knife and stand over my parents with a great intent to kill but i dont know what it was that stops me every night until one day i couldn't take it anymore and I slit my wrist. Unfortunately I didnt bleed to death. Everyday I want to just escape this world. I have often dreamed of a far off place where people who understand me will be. I can take this world no more only the constant guidance of a really good friend of mine here on MT YukitaRiku keeps me from doing what can never be undone. I dont expect anyone to care about my story. *sigh* I hate myself
I'm going through depression and Anxiety. It's not easy for me cause i'm going through one proble to another. Well it's not as bad as it was years ago for me.
I know how you feel. I got so depressed at school. Most of the girls were attracted to fat-heads (the girls were not really that great anyway). I felt very abused by the whole education system. I usually smile to pretend nothing happen, but that was too difficult to keep up. I have actually cut myself. It felt quite addictive. It made me feel a bit better. The amount of time I thought about death was unbelievable!
I seem to be Batman sometimes. I have this mask which is my own face, smiling. My real face isn't smiling.
THis is absolutely , undoubtedly correct.! I immigrated to US 7 yrs ago., I had a really good pal and he was almost like real brother,. Sadly, I went to US and missed all the time we spent together. In US, I found another good friend, we spent our time together for 5 yrs, however, he too left me, Cuz I moved! . From then, NO contact at all. At my new dwelling area, I found 2 more good friends,.. But no longer than 2 yrs. we went to our own path again! With all these separation and union , It weakened me. Somehow, I am not so willingly to be cheered, or to talk to ppl. During the time I constanly think of those old friends, hope we might see each other again and stay the way we used to be. But just a few months ago, I once again saw my 5 yr friend again when I was leaving from my Teacher's party. I saw him moving closer and closer to the teacher 's house, but I lost that feeling of wanting to talk to him or to get back the way it was even though I was only a few hundred feets away., simply due to the struggle i went through,and all those dismay that happened to me!
I was a intrepid mighty tiger , but its only the past!
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This is to ur girl liking stuff!
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U like young girlz becuase they posses the inoccence or rather cute trait, which u missed as u mentioned! U like older girlz because they have bigger boobs and bigger asses, and they have a true feeling of feminine!
I know how you feel. I've been betrayed so many times by my friends that I prefered to have less and less contact with people. I became such a loner, and I still am. I'm still quite cynical. Trust is a trait that is rarely seen in my life.
Half of my stress came from the school's inability to do something about it (the distracting idiots at school). People would think whenever I cried, it was because of what the other person did. I truly cried due to the fact I had no choice but to put up with it!
Perhaps I should have gone to see a doctor. Stress was taking a huge toll on my physical health.
Didn't quite get that. You're saying I'm a girl? Or you say I like girls stuff? So you're saying I'm a Tom-Girl?
If I did have a younger girlfriend, I will not pressure her into sex. I would only have sex with her if she wanted to. Infact, she'd pressure me.
I'm not really a fan of older girls anymore. They have been through what I haven't been through. As far as I'm concerned, I haven't been through puberty mentally.
I sometimes feel guilty for liking younger girls.
my current depression is that ive started studying again. feels horrible.
That's nothing!
Studying is good! Even if it takes a lot of your time.
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A question for you people here!:
If you saw a 17 year old guy going out with a 14 years old girl, how would you react to that?
My depresion is that I am unable to be with my love.Because of the distance that sepparates us.
No one understands, especially my parents.
I constantly think of dying and at least once a week cry myself to sleep.
I have almost no one who I can seriously talk to.
The only thing I have in common with my classmates is that we go to the same school.
I am always cynical and smilling on the outside, but I am in constant pain inside.
I can't run away to a different world because my love is keeping me in this one.
But there is too much lonlyness in it for me to handle.
I constantly think of letting my parents finding me dead in a pool of my own blood.
To make them pay for their mistakes.
Depression is really serious. I'm glad that you're recovering, that's just awesome. I hope everything only gets better from there. You will find that one girl who'll make you happy, you seem like a great guy, and it only takes a bit of time for you to find her. My friend actually had a bit of depression and he'd always come in..depressed, grumpy and sad. I couldn't stand watching him like that, so gradually I started talking to him and I guess he sort of perked up from there. Now we're really good friends and I'm glad I took the time to talk to him and make sure he was cool with everything. He's a really fun guy and we're both happy now. Well, I wish you the best of everything and you take care! ^^
One of my good freinds had a really bad bout of depression in High School...
It was hard seeing him go though it and i cant say that i would wish that on anyone.
As long has u have good frineds to back you up they seem to help alot, well thats what he told me.
Hes alot better now though ^^
Wow, you are a lot like me SonicWind. I had some really good friends in NYC, but I lost track of all of them when I moved to the Dom. Rep. For some reason, when I did, I stopped being as outgoing as I was and did my best to keep to myself. Though from the beginning Ive had this great friend that has been trying to change that. I want to change, but I think studies come first. Kyrokushen also makes a point about girls. What do they see in those guys?
Id say you mean they... ahem*clears throat* Anyway, three years isnt that big a deal (thats the age diference between my parents), unless they... ahem*clears throat again*.
I went through similar circumstances, so I can relate to some of you too. School became a bummer every year, so I dropped it as a junior, didn't even go the first 2 weeks cause of a first love loss on top of the troubles. Seems like the world is collapsing inwards, doesn't it. Can't seem to stand up as easy with the weight of the world on your shoulders. I went through a heavy experimentation and self-realization period for a while. Almost died experimenting drug mixtures, still feel like I might be in some other universe existing from where I died. It scared me shitless for 3 months, but I got over it.
The secret is finding a way to step back and realizing how miniscule our lives really are. I looked back and realize that I was *at least* in love once, or so I thought. It was exhilarating and scary to be with my love, but at least I had something for any time at all.
You really gotta force the self to move around and change environments constantly, never sitting down and accepting any one state of being. Look deep inside and understand everything about yourself, what you are and how you built your character, then change what it is that bugs you the most.
I started by building my integrity: Honesty - Avoid lies, they cause problems and trust issues with everyone around you. It's a beginning, it will help.
My depression took a toll on my health. My dad had to drive me to school before (it was only a mile away) because my energy got spent quickly. I became exhausted. As soon as I got home, I would just fall on my bed for an hour. My appettite (spelling?) was poor. I used to weigh 7.5 stones. My height hasn't changed since. I'm 5'8". I'm still 5'8", but I'm 8.5 stonesnow.
It has taken me over a year to start making real recovery.
That is the best compliment I have received in a long time. Thank you.
I know just how you feel..
I was in a deep depression.. maybe still am.. wasted my whole summer on it! *sniff sniff* I let go of someone I really loved and cared about... I made such a stupid mistake.. now it's impossible to turn back. My parents seem to make everything worst.. Just last night I had the knife on my wrist.. for some reason it made me feel happier. But I do try hard to keep a smile on my face for my friends.. for my friends only..
Hey SonicWind its a little scary to hear someonelse talk about how I fell, I've been going through a depression for a number of years now, and I fined it very hard to pull myself out of it. Sometimes I just want to smash everything I see other times I fell so careing I want to help and hug evryone , Theres a poem I read that helps me to feel better . I hope it can help others too.
"Invictus"
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as a Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how straight the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.
Even in my dreams (the sleeping kind, not fantasy) I feel depressed. Whenever I have a dream about someone I want to hit, even in that dream I'm too weak.
My most common fantasy at the time was to be suddenly transported accidently by an out of control portal that only appears once every 1453452587393 years (simply because it's out of control) into one of these worlds:
1) Love Hina
-I want to experience what a teen life should be
2) Dark Chronicle
-I want to take part in an adventure in which I can make a difference
3) Voices of a Distant Star
-I have never experienced exactly what love is
4) Final Fantasy x
-i want to make a difference by being a guardian and sacrificing myself to become the Final Aeon. Even if it means becoming Sin.
5) Final Fantasy ix
-i want an adventure of self discovery
6) Resident Evil Code: Veronica
-I wanted someone I can protect
7) Sonic series
-I wanted friends I can trust. Even if it meant I had run around covered in blue
I dreamed so much of being taken from this world into a world of happiness. Why didn't I just die! Perhaps I could make a difference if I died to prove there is some serious things that need to be done.
I had this sad dream once. I'm serious! I really had it. I was 16 I think at the time and already left school.
In this dream, I was 14 years old. It's my birthday. I wake up, sit up and looked out of the window to find my birthday present. It was a huge statue taller than the house of my arm. The hand looked like it was grabbing an invisible ball. Suddenly! There was bats everywhere in my room and I got transported 10 years into the future by my 10 years older father. My room, house, town and pretty much the whole planet was empty of people. The statue was covered in vines. My dad was in like a futuristic suit @_@. He is trying to figure out why I committed suicide at the age of 18. I find a diary in my room. It's my diary. According to the last entry, I slit my wrist because I had to go back to secondary school.
Of course, in real life my dad already knows why I was so depressed.
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3rd September-
I saw one the idiots from my old school today. I suddenly felt all my hate and depression come back. I also felt a bit weak. I felt he if he even walked up to me to talk to me, I would have just knocked him out.
I was such a happy child when I was 12. I was so ambitious and competitive when it came to education. If Tony Blair never f*cked up the education, I would have a good chance of getting into universities such as Cambridge and Oxford.
Occassionally after a karate class, I go to the pub with the seniors. I act so childish there.
I have now realised that I am not a 17 years old. I have woke from a long nightmare. I'm really a damaged 12 years old trying to act like an adult.
Hey you know who you remind me of? The character Houlden from Catcher in the Rye! Have you read that book? It's by J. D. Salinger. It's a great book and I recommend it!!! It's all about teen angst and trying to grow up but that same time..not wanting to...sorta like that, it also deals with depression, etc. You should read it!!!
I think I know why you want a girl that's younger then you. Cause there still carefree of the world and they dont know anybetter. I know cause I'm this way. Being to carefree is bad in a relationship trust me.
Well anway I'm sorry to hear that your in a deperssion. But instead of always thinking of what could happen or what did happen you need to do something about it. Staying inside and playing video game all day and wishing to live in a life that has nothing depressing in it isn't gonna help. It's only gonna make things worst. You need to wake up and notice what you have and what you want. Stop living in a dream. Go out and do something about it and stop feeling bad about yourself.
Im sorry if I sound mean but I'm just telling you what I personaly feel. I know it hurts to be derpessed but ignoring it isn't gonna help. Stop looking at what had happend and the past and move on.
Never think about killing/hurting yourself, that's just pointless. I would try to convience you to not fool yourself by being attracted to people that way, but I've almost given up on trying to explain that to people, they're just too stubborn
Don't waste your existence being depressed, school isn't everything. Just learn as much as you can and try to live as long as you can. I hope this meant something to you. ^_~
Not long ago two girls really liked me. They were my best friends, day after day i see them fight over me, online, in school, one day it actually got physical. I felt so guilty, because of me they were fighting. I did'nt know what to do if i picked one girl the other would be crushed and heart broken. So i ended up not being either of their boyfriend, for a while their were pissed at me and i was alone. thats when i sunk into depression. But then they got over it. I know it was'nt my fault they fought but i just felt so guilty.
Losing myself in video games was the only way to relax. I needed a dream world to relax in. It was all I had to keep me alive and my sanity.
I'm glad to say my old way of life is shedding. I'm going to sell my games on ebay. Get rid of those awful memories.
Nice story... usually in my country kids go to 1st grade when they are 7y/o
I skipped 1st grade and went to 2nd grade when i was 6y/o (i was so smart then...)
now its still not hard for me to learn but i'm too lazy.. i'm 14y/o kid.. going to 10th grade..
around me there are 16y/o teens drinking/smoking.. i was drinking.. didn't like the morning.. was drunk another day... but i stopped... now i'm 14 y/o (like i said) and i can't learn.. couse i feel very depressed just like u were when u were 14. everyone in class is 16y/o i've very weak, playing computer games 24/7 i decided to try to get better grades this year.. couse in 9th grade i got C and D ... they still put me in 10th didn't leave me in 9th grade... about dreams at night.. i just want to kill everything.. i remember a person, and i dream of killing him, skinning him.. doing something that might give him pain for a long time.. (till he dies)..
when i take a knife in my hand, i just want to kill someone, but i can't.. couse i'm not some killer.. previous year.. i learnt that there is some japanese university.. in my country.. if u pass, you can go to japan, study there.. i'm planing to study hard now...