Powerful...I was just reading over your recent poems again and I just had to
comment on this one...I like the idea of the goddess being just as vulnerable as
we are. Just as suseptible to love as we are...
Granted there are parts that look grammatically imperfect, I get a sense that
you are being dominated by a fellow lover. It seems like a power struggle going
on inside and out, between you and another that cherishes you like a Goddess.
That's what I am sensing, maybe I'm dumb, but that is what it says to me. A lot
of people write slam poetry without realizing it, it is raw and unstructured,
but deeply impacting.
i won't say I like this one, cause I cannot imagine a flowing sense coming from
it. Again, I'm in pity, a foo.
As a Goddess in play
she destroys, she annoys and she threats
she unlocks her powers
and seem to govern him.
But when she's at the peak
he surprinsingly traps her
ad locks her tight
under his strength.
Defenseless and vulnerable
within his tricks,
she surrenders at his will.
He refuses to loose her
until she promise to give in.
On a perfect night
they smoothly fuse
their emotions
flowing all over
their weaknesses.
comment: this is free style
that is very nice. to me it seems like ther is passion and feirceness in it . i love it
NICE really nice, this poem is great good job on it. I love it
nice poem... a goddes who surrenders for love.. or is it bcause she has no choice??
beautiful, simply beautiful
i agree! ^_^
I don't really understand poem styles.
But I knew this was good. Great job!!
I've seen your talent yet you seem to amaze me time and time again *smiles with content*
Powerful...I was just reading over your recent poems again and I just had to comment on this one...I like the idea of the goddess being just as vulnerable as we are. Just as suseptible to love as we are...
Thanks Sazriel i value yours and all of your comments they're my reason to keep creating for you all.
Granted there are parts that look grammatically imperfect, I get a sense that you are being dominated by a fellow lover. It seems like a power struggle going on inside and out, between you and another that cherishes you like a Goddess. That's what I am sensing, maybe I'm dumb, but that is what it says to me. A lot of people write slam poetry without realizing it, it is raw and unstructured, but deeply impacting.
i won't say I like this one, cause I cannot imagine a flowing sense coming from it. Again, I'm in pity, a foo.
*bows* thanks for your precious comments tell me more, bye
i have one word to say... amazing!!
0.o i like all your poems!! ^-^ they kool!!!! so deep and meaning full... it rox my sox ^-^
This poem is very nice!! ^^ And it's very unique, too!! Great job, kaleidogirl!!! Keep up the good work!!
Very beautiful.... no words can explain how much passion it possess