This article on Slashdot is unreasonably funny. The fact that it's real makes
it all the better. . . who can possibly dispute the fact that the U.S.
Department of Defense is utterly awesome?
An anonymous reader writes "The Guardian is reporting on what may be the
weirdest Hurricane Katrina story yet. Military
trained dolphins may have been released into the wild by the Hurricane's
devastation." From the article: "Experts who have studied the U.S.
navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic
dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species
considered to be among the planet's smartest. The U.S. navy admits it has been
training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are
missing. Dolphins have been trained in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold
War. The U.S. Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot
terrorists attacking military vessels. Their coastal compound was breached
during the storm, sweeping them out to sea. But those who have studied the
controversial use of dolphins in the U.S. defence programme claim it is vital
they are caught quickly."
What the...
Thats insane. I remember seeing that in austin powers when scott bought his dad
dolphins with lazers on their heads..or was it sharks @.@ forgot..
But thats insane. Interesting too @.@. What a story..
My brother told me that dolphins trained by the US to attack with guns had
escaped !
I thought it was a joke at first and laughed it off.
Then I came here and checked out the link !
Absolutely deranged ! Training dolphins like that !!
Crazy bunch of looney's down in the US military.
Quote by toxictea23What the...
Thats insane. I remember seeing that in austin powers when scott bought his dad
dolphins with lazers on their heads..or was it sharks @.@ forgot..
But thats insane. Interesting too @.@. What a
story..
Ditto what the heck is this world coming to. It's just sad that the story is
true Oh yeah it was sharks not lasers
An interesting story...those who are out at sea risk being attacked by these
armed dolphins. My question is, why would they release armed dolphins at sea if they knew that people use the beaches for
their activites? I might be able to answer that, but I'm guessing it has to do
with the abandonment of the Gulf coast due to the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina
and possibly Hurricane Rita. Still, that could affect surrounding Gulf states
and the shores of Mexico. People's lives are at risk.
Outstanding! I am just so happy now. Oh, god,
please let exploding bunnies be next!
(Or, if not bunnies, then any rodent will do.) Ahhhhh. Truly, life is good.
...icky-squishy was a rat and what a rat was
he!
icky-squishy on the tracks!
...the train he did not see! icky-squishy!
Quote by SilentMasamune My
question is, why would they release armed
dolphins at sea if they knew that people use the beaches for their
activites?
Nobody physically released the dolphins. Rather,
the dolphins were released due to damage from the hurricane. I would guess that
there was a breach in whatever holding area they were being kept in and
therefore they were able to escape out to sea.
I used to think that the exploding pigs from Rome: Total War were pretty crazy.
This is in another league entirely. Imagine this: fifty years from now, school
children read in their textbooks that attack dolphins armed with poison dart
guns won the war against terror. Wouldn't that be quite something?
Quote by shinsengumiI used to think
that the exploding pigs from Rome: Total War were pretty crazy. This is in
another league entirely. Imagine this: fifty years from now, school children
read in their textbooks that attack dolphins armed with poison dart guns won the
war against terror. Wouldn't that be quite something?
This
would make quite the story, I agree, and, in the sense, it's rather funny how
these dolphins have a means of attacking other people. Although, once more and
more people get wind of this article, they may want to steer clear of the
beaches until the weapons from the dolphins are amassed and discarded. I can
tell that this will be a difficult time for the beach-goers, seeing as how they
will have to be alert for any activity in the water.
Toxic dart guns. I love the DoD, and no sarcasm there.
Though I wonder whether the dolphins have been trained to distinguish civilians
from potential enemies, or were they simply taught to shoot on sight. Of course,
it's very difficult to teach a dolphin who's a terrorist when we humans can't
even tell that easily. And how would they tell who's a spy?
Wow, I'm still debating whether I believe this or not. -lol-
It seems that I have most definitely underestimated the power of the Department
of Defense.
It sounds like something you would read out of the tabloids. One time I read
that the army had hired "bat humans" to fight in the war against
terrorists. -lol-
In any case, I would definitely steer clear of any beaches or anything
connecting to the ocean for a while. I think that as this continues to go on
many other people will probably begin to think the same way until there is
insurance on this matter. (or maybe insurance on dolphin murders)
~narutofan
Not was not very nice because if they trained a dolphin to shoot, maybe some
other species in the water will be killed too because of the trained dolphin and
maybe it can kill a civillian that is on the water like the fishermens, and the
people that go to many places in the world using ships.
This is what happens when you have too many "revolutionaries" and
people with too much time on their hands sitting in a Department with the
highest budget in the most powerful country of the world (at the
moment).
Is this where the billions of dollars in tax money is going into? Training
killer dolphins? Why don't they use up that money elsewhere and REINFORCE THE
DAMn KEVLAR ARMOR AND THE SUPPLY TRUCKS. Soldiers are dying yet they're too
worried about training these dolphins.
This is quite pathetic. I pity those people who have died in vain because some
moron higher up in the military hierarchy thought that training dolphins was a
good idea. Way to go guys, excellent job -- not only did you waste money
training the dolphins, but you also LOST them. *Flushes $$$ down the drain*
I'm still not convinced that this is real. If it is, then my hat off to the
military for training a dolphin to do ANYTHING useful.
And if it's not, my hat off to the person that came up with such a beautiful
piece of fiction that's so incredulous that it's almost credible.
This article on Slashdot is unreasonably funny. The fact that it's real makes it all the better. . . who can possibly dispute the fact that the U.S. Department of Defense is utterly awesome?
An anonymous reader writes "The Guardian is reporting on what may be the weirdest Hurricane Katrina story yet. Military trained dolphins may have been released into the wild by the Hurricane's devastation." From the article: "Experts who have studied the U.S. navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet's smartest. The U.S. navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing. Dolphins have been trained in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The U.S. Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels. Their coastal compound was breached during the storm, sweeping them out to sea. But those who have studied the controversial use of dolphins in the U.S. defence programme claim it is vital they are caught quickly."
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1577753,00.html
What the...
Thats insane. I remember seeing that in austin powers when scott bought his dad dolphins with lazers on their heads..or was it sharks @.@ forgot..
But thats insane. Interesting too @.@. What a story..
My brother told me that dolphins trained by the US to attack with guns had escaped !
I thought it was a joke at first and laughed it off.
Then I came here and checked out the link !
Absolutely deranged ! Training dolphins like that !!
Crazy bunch of looney's down in the US military.
Ditto what the heck is this world coming to. It's just sad that the story is true Oh yeah it was sharks not lasers
An interesting story...those who are out at sea risk being attacked by these armed dolphins. My question is, why would they release armed dolphins at sea if they knew that people use the beaches for their activites? I might be able to answer that, but I'm guessing it has to do with the abandonment of the Gulf coast due to the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and possibly Hurricane Rita. Still, that could affect surrounding Gulf states and the shores of Mexico. People's lives are at risk.
Outstanding! I am just so happy now.
Oh, god,
please let exploding bunnies be next!
(Or, if not bunnies, then any rodent will do.) Ahhhhh. Truly, life is good.
...icky-squishy was a rat and what a rat was he!
icky-squishy on the tracks!
...the train he did not see!
icky-squishy!
All we gotta wait for now is for the Russians to get Battleship-killing Giant Squid. Then it's all about the Red Alert!
Nobody physically released the dolphins. Rather, the dolphins were released due to damage from the hurricane. I would guess that there was a breach in whatever holding area they were being kept in and therefore they were able to escape out to sea.
I used to think that the exploding pigs from Rome: Total War were pretty crazy. This is in another league entirely. Imagine this: fifty years from now, school children read in their textbooks that attack dolphins armed with poison dart guns won the war against terror. Wouldn't that be quite something?
This would make quite the story, I agree, and, in the sense, it's rather funny how these dolphins have a means of attacking other people. Although, once more and more people get wind of this article, they may want to steer clear of the beaches until the weapons from the dolphins are amassed and discarded. I can tell that this will be a difficult time for the beach-goers, seeing as how they will have to be alert for any activity in the water.
That's the kind of stuff that you can't make up.
XD
Toxic dart guns. I love the DoD, and no sarcasm there.
Though I wonder whether the dolphins have been trained to distinguish civilians from potential enemies, or were they simply taught to shoot on sight. Of course, it's very difficult to teach a dolphin who's a terrorist when we humans can't even tell that easily. And how would they tell who's a spy?
But regardless, I love the DoD. =)
OMG
Dolphins with toxic dart guns. I love it. What the hell else is going on in the
US military?
wtf? *shakes head* what is the world coming to? this sounds like something out of that Austin Powers movie...
People, it's BS, fake, nobody's training doplhins to kill people. They are training them to look for underwater mines and stuff but not to kill.
*cracks up*
Wow, I'm still debating whether I believe this or not. -lol-
It seems that I have most definitely underestimated the power of the Department of Defense.
It sounds like something you would read out of the tabloids. One time I read that the army had hired "bat humans" to fight in the war against terrorists. -lol-
In any case, I would definitely steer clear of any beaches or anything connecting to the ocean for a while. I think that as this continues to go on many other people will probably begin to think the same way until there is insurance on this matter. (or maybe insurance on dolphin murders)
~narutofan
thats ridiculous.and breach of animal rights i think if it is true.
humans are such selfish, greedy creatures.and to even come up with this idea, what is the american department of defense doing?
like my friend always said, what is the world coming to?
Not was not very nice because if they trained a dolphin to shoot, maybe some other species in the water will be killed too because of the trained dolphin and maybe it can kill a civillian that is on the water like the fishermens, and the people that go to many places in the world using ships.
ALL I WANTED WAS SHARKS WITH FREAKIN LAZER BEAMS ATTATCHED TO THEIR FREAKIN FORHEAD!
Everyone deserves a hot meal.
oh i'll be damned, can't believe this is actually true..
its both amazing and insane.. i thought that you started a joke thread, that caught my attention. still can't believe that this is true..
woah... hard to believe... but possible...
might be dangerous... not sure if dolphins can distinguish terrorists...
This is what happens when you have too many "revolutionaries" and people with too much time on their hands sitting in a Department with the highest budget in the most powerful country of the world (at the moment).
Is this where the billions of dollars in tax money is going into? Training killer dolphins? Why don't they use up that money elsewhere and REINFORCE THE DAMn KEVLAR ARMOR AND THE SUPPLY TRUCKS. Soldiers are dying yet they're too worried about training these dolphins.
This is quite pathetic. I pity those people who have died in vain because some moron higher up in the military hierarchy thought that training dolphins was a good idea. Way to go guys, excellent job -- not only did you waste money training the dolphins, but you also LOST them. *Flushes $$$ down the drain*
0.0 wow....dolphins can really kick butt!
I'm still not convinced that this is real. If it is, then my hat off to the military for training a dolphin to do ANYTHING useful.
And if it's not, my hat off to the person that came up with such a beautiful piece of fiction that's so incredulous that it's almost credible.
Thats awesome. Dolphins are also very playful as well as intelligent so im worried.