What do you do when you have an ex-boyfriend who won't leave you alone? I have
an ex who seems to be obsessed with me. It has been almost a year since we broke
up and he won't leave me alone. He keeps showing up where I work. He has made
two websites about me. I don't get his deal! He goes on and on slandering me but
then he shows up at my work just so he can see me. He is F*&$% in the head!
I have even called the cops on him and he won't back off.
Then I have this other ex-boyfriend who won't stop calling me. He calls my house
four times a night. I have stopped answering the phone. But he just keeps
calling and calling. I explained everything to him and he just isn't getting it.
I don't know how to be anymore blunt without being mean. And I am not a mean
person. I work with this person so it makes it even more difficult to get away
from him. Thankfully most of the time he works in a different building.
What I don't get is that there isn't anything special about me that would make
them so obsessive. The time that I spent with these to was not that romantic or
special. We spent most of our time at home watching movies and hanging out. We
never went anywhere or did any "couple" things. I was more friends
with them than anything. It’s not fair
that they think that because I was their girlfriend for a while they think I
have to have some connection with them for the rest of my life! I am allowed to
say that I don't want anything more to do with you. I never want to see you
again. I don't want to talk to you again.
So people of MT! What do you think that I should do? Have you had a similar
experience? Please help!
I've had this kind of experience but not as extreme as yours. I had someone that
wouldn't leave me alone for about a month and a bit. the thing that made him go
away was... Be mean, show no sympathy, be horrid and cruel, forget about his
feelings for about a minute while you gp mental at him!
It might work I
hope you find a solution soon XXXX
merged: 04-07-2006 ~ 01:03am
I've had this kind of experience but not as extreme as yours. I had someone that
wouldn't leave me alone for about a month and a bit. the thing that made him go
away was... Be mean, show no sympathy, be horrid and cruel, forget about his
feelings for about a minute while you go mental at him!
It might work I
hope you find a solution soon XXXX
Thanks guys for the advice. On Friday I took a semi-stand with one of them. #2
called for the millionth time and I finally answered the phone and told him that
if I wanted to talk to him I would have answered the phone. I told him that
calling four times a night was ridiculous. That if I didn't answer the phone the
first time then I wasn't going to answer it the next three times. I reprimanded
him for calling so much and he still didn't get the picture. He asked if I was
mad at him. I couldn't say yes because I'm not. I just don't want to talk. I
have nothing in common with him. And he is obsessed. He wants to talk every
single night and I have other things that I want to do. I know that I need to
just come out and say that I don't want to talk to you anymore, but I guess that
I am just hoping that he will get the picture. But he isn't. Gurr! I am cowardly
at being mean.
I was really blunt though.
Maybe if I ignore him long enough he will go away!
Yeah, this is obsession. I think what you did wasn't blunt enough. Ignoring them
won't work - if they've stalked you for this long, they can keep it up. Just be
outright pissed at the guy who keeps calling you; tell him that it's over and he
needs closure. (Or maybe just pick up the phone, scream "Shut up!" and
slam it back down) I don't think you should even be friends with them, at least
until they get it into their heads that you are tired of their attention. When
you see either one of them, I advise you to not even look at them - pretend they
don't exist. Get a colleague or someone to tell #1 to shove off when he comes
looking for you at work. They need to spend more time away from you and getting
to know other people. Maybe if you can't be mean, you could introduce them to a
really gorgeous friend of yours or something.
It's okay, I have a similar problem - this guy who likes me is really
persistent. He freaks me out. He's emailed me, text messaged me and called me.
He also recently bought a pencil case almost identical to mine. I am really
weirded out and wish he would back off, though I can't do anything about it
because it would hurt my rep as a nice person.
By the way, you can choose whether you want to take my advice or not ...
because, well, I'm 13, and shouldn't even be talking. ^^"
u noe. u should just ingore him. move out of teh country. tell a friend
"(taht is not obessed with u) who is macho and can beat them up. or act as
ur bf.
yea as the other ppl say. u should be mean. show no mercy.
do all bad habits or something that might attract them.
or something
well, i all i can say is good luck!
Unfortunately if you really want to finish it you may just have to get meaner.
Most people don't want to be mean, and it's commendable that you are that nice
of a person, unfortunately it sometimes takes being mean to finally get your
message across. The problem with being nice is that people get comfortable
getting away with what they do because they know they can, they know you won't
get angry or upset towards them so they can just push and push in hopes they'll
get what it is they're looking for. I'm not a very mean or aggressive person
myself, and I hate being mean, but when people push you sometimes you just have
to push back or they'll just keep at it until something gives.
HE HAS STOPPED CALLING! HALLALUYA! I guess scolding him was enough to give him
the picture. Hopefully it will last. As for the creepier more dangerous stalker
#1, I don't have anything that I can do about him and he knows it,
unfortunately. I have called the police and they say that unless he tries to
contact me or tries to come near me they can't do anything. And my work can't do
anything because he hasn't come onto their property. The cops say that he
watching me isn't a crime. I can't get a restraining order because he hasn't
touched me or hit me. I am going to call the city courthouse and my lawyer next
if he shows up again. No more Ms. Nice Girl!
Thanks for all the great advice everyone!
If anyone knows any laws that could help me get rid of stalker#1 that would be a
great help!
What do you do when you have an ex-boyfriend who won't leave you alone? I have an ex who seems to be obsessed with me. It has been almost a year since we broke up and he won't leave me alone. He keeps showing up where I work. He has made two websites about me. I don't get his deal! He goes on and on slandering me but then he shows up at my work just so he can see me. He is F*&$% in the head! I have even called the cops on him and he won't back off.
Then I have this other ex-boyfriend who won't stop calling me. He calls my house four times a night. I have stopped answering the phone. But he just keeps calling and calling. I explained everything to him and he just isn't getting it. I don't know how to be anymore blunt without being mean. And I am not a mean person. I work with this person so it makes it even more difficult to get away from him. Thankfully most of the time he works in a different building.
What I don't get is that there isn't anything special about me that would make them so obsessive. The time that I spent with these to was not that romantic or special. We spent most of our time at home watching movies and hanging out. We never went anywhere or did any "couple" things. I was more friends with them than anything. It’s not fair that they think that because I was their girlfriend for a while they think I have to have some connection with them for the rest of my life! I am allowed to say that I don't want anything more to do with you. I never want to see you again. I don't want to talk to you again.
So people of MT! What do you think that I should do? Have you had a similar experience? Please help!
I've had this kind of experience but not as extreme as yours. I had someone that wouldn't leave me alone for about a month and a bit. the thing that made him go away was... Be mean, show no sympathy, be horrid and cruel, forget about his feelings for about a minute while you gp mental at him!
It might work
I
hope you find a solution soon XXXX 
merged: 04-07-2006 ~ 01:03am
I've had this kind of experience but not as extreme as yours. I had someone that wouldn't leave me alone for about a month and a bit. the thing that made him go away was... Be mean, show no sympathy, be horrid and cruel, forget about his feelings for about a minute while you go mental at him!
It might work
I
hope you find a solution soon XXXX 
w0w!
I think BlackKitty is right...Be MEAN and CRUEL.... No more Ms. Nice Girl....This is WAR.....
Agreed, you gotta be a bitch... excuse my latin.
You make yourself the victim, they smell it on you, they stay attached until you sever the connection all dirty like.
BE MEAN, BE CRUEL, BE EVIL, BE - A - WOMAN! ^_^
Thanks guys for the advice. On Friday I took a semi-stand with one of them. #2 called for the millionth time and I finally answered the phone and told him that if I wanted to talk to him I would have answered the phone. I told him that calling four times a night was ridiculous. That if I didn't answer the phone the first time then I wasn't going to answer it the next three times. I reprimanded him for calling so much and he still didn't get the picture. He asked if I was mad at him. I couldn't say yes because I'm not. I just don't want to talk. I have nothing in common with him. And he is obsessed. He wants to talk every single night and I have other things that I want to do. I know that I need to just come out and say that I don't want to talk to you anymore, but I guess that I am just hoping that he will get the picture. But he isn't. Gurr! I am cowardly at being mean.
I was really blunt though. 
Maybe if I ignore him long enough he will go away!
Yeah, this is obsession. I think what you did wasn't blunt enough. Ignoring them won't work - if they've stalked you for this long, they can keep it up. Just be outright pissed at the guy who keeps calling you; tell him that it's over and he needs closure. (Or maybe just pick up the phone, scream "Shut up!" and slam it back down) I don't think you should even be friends with them, at least until they get it into their heads that you are tired of their attention. When you see either one of them, I advise you to not even look at them - pretend they don't exist. Get a colleague or someone to tell #1 to shove off when he comes looking for you at work. They need to spend more time away from you and getting to know other people. Maybe if you can't be mean, you could introduce them to a really gorgeous friend of yours or something.
It's okay, I have a similar problem - this guy who likes me is really persistent. He freaks me out. He's emailed me, text messaged me and called me. He also recently bought a pencil case almost identical to mine. I am really weirded out and wish he would back off, though I can't do anything about it because it would hurt my rep as a nice person.
By the way, you can choose whether you want to take my advice or not ... because, well, I'm 13, and shouldn't even be talking. ^^"
u noe. u should just ingore him. move out of teh country. tell a friend "(taht is not obessed with u) who is macho and can beat them up. or act as ur bf.
yea as the other ppl say. u should be mean. show no mercy.
do all bad habits or something that might attract them.
or something
well, i all i can say is good luck!
thankfully ive never had any problems like this. I would just block their numbers and tell them to go away and whatnot
You're not breaking up with them correctly and/or they haven't had enough relationships before.
If they found someone new they'd forget about you right away.
At least you actually go out with your stalkers before they start stalking you.
Unfortunately if you really want to finish it you may just have to get meaner. Most people don't want to be mean, and it's commendable that you are that nice of a person, unfortunately it sometimes takes being mean to finally get your message across. The problem with being nice is that people get comfortable getting away with what they do because they know they can, they know you won't get angry or upset towards them so they can just push and push in hopes they'll get what it is they're looking for. I'm not a very mean or aggressive person myself, and I hate being mean, but when people push you sometimes you just have to push back or they'll just keep at it until something gives.
HE HAS STOPPED CALLING! HALLALUYA! I guess scolding him was enough to give him the picture. Hopefully it will last. As for the creepier more dangerous stalker #1, I don't have anything that I can do about him and he knows it, unfortunately. I have called the police and they say that unless he tries to contact me or tries to come near me they can't do anything. And my work can't do anything because he hasn't come onto their property. The cops say that he watching me isn't a crime. I can't get a restraining order because he hasn't touched me or hit me. I am going to call the city courthouse and my lawyer next if he shows up again. No more Ms. Nice Girl!
Thanks for all the great advice everyone!
If anyone knows any laws that could help me get rid of stalker#1 that would be a great help!
restraining orders? ^_^
:edit:
didnt read the last post >.>
my bad