Hey you all.. this is like maybe my first time posting a story lol.. I have lots
actually, but I think I'll start with this haha..
To be frank, I just typed out this ''story'', I think just around a few hours
back. I dont know what exactly made me type this out, but I guess since I'm
actually better in expressing something through some plot rather than saying
something out straight as I always get it all wrong. Ok whatever it is, comments
and suggestions to improve are most welcomed lol.. so, here's my stupid story.
Enjoy!
My World
It is a strange world, being a bird. Perhaps that is because I now realise that
I am not alone in this world. Yes, certainly there are other birds besides
sparrows, yes, I am sure of that- just the other day, one of my brothers was
pecked by a black bird the size of our whole nest. What was it that the humans
called those black, cruel creatures again? Yes, I remember now; crows, they
called them. I can only chirp in amusement when I think of the irony.
You see, I can fly. I only learnt how to fly about three months ago. It was a
terribly embarassing incident, too. I had hopped tentatively towards the edge of
my mother's nest that day, and seized by a sudden surge of daring, I had leaped
out of the nest. For a moment, I thought I was flying, and I remember thinking
to myself, ''Wow, I'm a faster learner than my older sisters and brothers!''
However, the next thing I knew was hitting the ground with a soft thud, and
pitch darkness. Voices awakened me, excited voices. I could hear a human
yelling, 'Mummy! It opened its eyes! It's so cute, can we keep it?''
''You should let it go back to its own nest,'' said another voice, an older,
softer one. My focus cleared, I blinked a few times. Where was I? Suddenly, I
felt my whole body being lifted up. Was the ground moving? I hopped to my feet,
struggling, and realised I was standing on a tiny human's palm. Well, the human
was not tiny in comparison to me, certainly, but I knew at once that I was at
the mercy of a human child. Oh dear, what had my mother warned me about them?
''Human children,'' she had chirped darkly, ''can be the kindest or most cruel
of creatures.'' I understood now what she had meant, the child whose palm I was
trembling on could as easily squash me as she could place me back in my
nest.
But you should know this. I felt that I experienced that day, what humans call
an act of kindness. I was put back into my nest, in the rafters of the human
child's front porch. I was surprised by how pure of heart a human could be.
Helping a helpless little bird- do all humans do that? Mother said no, some
would have tormented me; finding delight in my pain. I could not believe her
fully; humans were one species, they all had two ears, two eyes- at the front of
their faces, one nose and a mouth. Why should they be different from each other?
Papa had told me wisely, ''Humans are just like birds. No two are the
same.''
What happened next created a sort of domino effect in my life. I learnt how to
fly properly, and pretty soon I was soaring over rooftops, finding my own food
and exploring the world I was in. My world was, as I have said, a strange one.
Sometimes, humans would sprinkle breadcrumbs; a personal favourite snack of
mine; onto their gardens. My friends and I especially love flying over to the
houses which had birdhouses in their gardens. It was a great resting place on
hot or rainy days when we were most vulnerable to our mortal enemies- cats. Why
did the world have good and bad?
Yes, this is all relevant to the story I am trying to tell you. Next came, my
shocking flying experience. I was flying one night, alone, thinking how lovely
the yellow specks were, strewn through the sky. Yes, I was thinking just about
how my strange world was turning out to be quite a lovely one, when I saw four
men cornering a very sad woman. Actually, they all looked the same to me, except
that my sister had once told me, ''Human woman have longer hair and softer
voices. Human men are bigger and less gentle. But it's not always like that,
sometimes it depends on how they have been brought up.'' When I asked her how
she knew all that, she said that she spent hours at a time looking at the Chang
family, who had nine children. I was impressed, I had not acknowledged the skill
of human breeding.
And as I looked at the cowering woman, who was screaming the words ''Rape!
Rape!'', I wondered whose child she had been. Her mother and father must love
her. Did the four men not realise the pain the woman's parents would feel if
something bad happened to their daughter? I felt angry at them. They were all
humans, why did they want to make each other unhappy?
My world was strange again as I flew back to my nest. Where there was kindness,
there was cruelty. Where there was joy, there was sadness. It was ironic how the
humans could call the animals cruel, when their own species caused harm within
the same place? Their leaders called for world peace, their nation triumphed in
modernisation. But in all this chaos, did they not realise that they had so much
more to overcome, so many more social ills to invest their energy into, before
pursuing greatness?
I have flown to many places. I am old now, I am weak. But I have seen things
that education cannot teach. I have seen firefighters rescue people trapped in
burning buildings. I have seen childbirth, as there was always a window for me
to enter the hospital room through. I have seen joy, but in its paradox, I have
seen sorrow. I have seen murder, I have seen children throwing rocks at a dog. I
have felt, even if the humans do not know it yet, anger and thankfulness. And as
I close my eyes for the last time, I feel love for the human child who saved me
in my youth. Such a strange world, but it is still my world, just shared with
others.
Wow...u musta spent a long time typing this eh? Well
i nice story, using a bird to sorta look in to the human world...very nice...if
this was an essay u'd hand in to a teacher i'd give upon 30.....28/30 ^^ its
very nice....
well witten! imagine that! iiwa the storywriter and perhaps poet! hahaha, you
should thank me for pointing out all your mistakes... (admittedly there were
only 2 of them)
i think you could lengthen the sentences though, you know...adding more detail
and such?
anyway, it's really good!
p.s since when have you become so philosophical?
Your story was so moving. I cannot believe how incredibly well you write.
I loved the story! *tear* I truly think you should pursue writing because you
are
amazing. Keep exercising your talent iiwa! I love the way you chose to write
from
a bird's point of view. It makes us humans turn to ourselves and examine what
we're really like.
I like how you contrasted joy and sorrow, good and evil in the world. The
imagery was great as well. I abosolutely love your work. I certainly hope you
will continue to share your stories with us. Thank you iiwa! Thanks for your
brilliance and wit!
This really moved me... you managed to capture humanity at its fullest in this
piece of story. It was incredible well written and had a lot of nice emotions
descriptions.
wowiez iiwa....very GOOD....i lov it..and its NOT stupid...you have a very
crative mind...and you are a good stori teller....i love it....i liked how you
called yourself and saw yourself as a bird....this is very AWSOME....please
write another one..im saving this...very nice...its a keeper indeed...its a sad
and wonderful experiance aswell...very well done...keep it up...im looking
forward to the next one...
wowie, iiwa-chan...you're such a clever story teller!!
it's nice how you used a bird's perspective to give us humans some good life
lessons!
your story has elements of hope and despair, and it seems it's up to us to make
either the right or wrong decisions. you have nice imagery, as well about the
things the birdie saw. but i thought the second to the last paragraph sounded
to preachy... maybe it wasn't needed cuz subtle lessons and stories are good, as well and
it's left up to the reader to make those conclusions. well, that's just my
silly opinion...
Stephie-chan writing story! I was a little... lazy to read it, but i did managed
to read it all. Unbelievable. ^^
Anyways... yea... a story of what a bird have seen throughout it's whole life. A
mix of sadness, sorrow, happiness... all that. Chrono Cross has this kind of
element too. Maybe you've tried playing Chrono Cross, you might understand the
world a little more better too. ^^
well well well.. u write very well.. that's very very good... i mean it. reading
it, u're very good as a composer of creative writing assignments.... hmm... like
what some have said, keep practicing.. and i never thought of it before.... but
u could sometimes take heart from what other ppl have said about it... and
improve upon it... even look to ur teacher.. haha... well i was lucky to have
one teacher in sydney in form 3 who helped me get from 11/20 over there.. to
19/20 in 8 months (yea long.. but considering i did it myself... i was proud of
it... haha... worked hard for it... i'm not the most creative person ya see )
keep it up... i'm saving this story in my computer now if u don't mind... maybe
one day i can tell of a great friend who wrote creative stories and imaginative
at the same time... haha
don't let anyone get u down about it either... haha... i remember when i did :P
omg its so much like a lecture now.. haha... nyway, yea, criticism is good when
its constructive... so take in some criticism when it may be warranted... haha..
but don't be like me and take things personally (in my younger and more naive
days la!)
hmm... but u know.. i'm really really really impressed....
That is a great story you did a wonderful job!! It is very imaginatize adn so
good! That is so great! I love the story!! You have a wonderful imagination!!
Way to go!!
Hey you all.. this is like maybe my first time posting a story lol.. I have lots actually, but I think I'll start with this haha..
To be frank, I just typed out this ''story'', I think just around a few hours back. I dont know what exactly made me type this out, but I guess since I'm actually better in expressing something through some plot rather than saying something out straight as I always get it all wrong. Ok whatever it is, comments and suggestions to improve are most welcomed lol.. so, here's my stupid story. Enjoy!
My World
It is a strange world, being a bird. Perhaps that is because I now realise that I am not alone in this world. Yes, certainly there are other birds besides sparrows, yes, I am sure of that- just the other day, one of my brothers was pecked by a black bird the size of our whole nest. What was it that the humans called those black, cruel creatures again? Yes, I remember now; crows, they called them. I can only chirp in amusement when I think of the irony.
You see, I can fly. I only learnt how to fly about three months ago. It was a terribly embarassing incident, too. I had hopped tentatively towards the edge of my mother's nest that day, and seized by a sudden surge of daring, I had leaped out of the nest. For a moment, I thought I was flying, and I remember thinking to myself, ''Wow, I'm a faster learner than my older sisters and brothers!'' However, the next thing I knew was hitting the ground with a soft thud, and pitch darkness. Voices awakened me, excited voices. I could hear a human yelling, 'Mummy! It opened its eyes! It's so cute, can we keep it?''
''You should let it go back to its own nest,'' said another voice, an older, softer one. My focus cleared, I blinked a few times. Where was I? Suddenly, I felt my whole body being lifted up. Was the ground moving? I hopped to my feet, struggling, and realised I was standing on a tiny human's palm. Well, the human was not tiny in comparison to me, certainly, but I knew at once that I was at the mercy of a human child. Oh dear, what had my mother warned me about them? ''Human children,'' she had chirped darkly, ''can be the kindest or most cruel of creatures.'' I understood now what she had meant, the child whose palm I was trembling on could as easily squash me as she could place me back in my nest.
But you should know this. I felt that I experienced that day, what humans call an act of kindness. I was put back into my nest, in the rafters of the human child's front porch. I was surprised by how pure of heart a human could be. Helping a helpless little bird- do all humans do that? Mother said no, some would have tormented me; finding delight in my pain. I could not believe her fully; humans were one species, they all had two ears, two eyes- at the front of their faces, one nose and a mouth. Why should they be different from each other? Papa had told me wisely, ''Humans are just like birds. No two are the same.''
What happened next created a sort of domino effect in my life. I learnt how to fly properly, and pretty soon I was soaring over rooftops, finding my own food and exploring the world I was in. My world was, as I have said, a strange one. Sometimes, humans would sprinkle breadcrumbs; a personal favourite snack of mine; onto their gardens. My friends and I especially love flying over to the houses which had birdhouses in their gardens. It was a great resting place on hot or rainy days when we were most vulnerable to our mortal enemies- cats. Why did the world have good and bad?
Yes, this is all relevant to the story I am trying to tell you. Next came, my shocking flying experience. I was flying one night, alone, thinking how lovely the yellow specks were, strewn through the sky. Yes, I was thinking just about how my strange world was turning out to be quite a lovely one, when I saw four men cornering a very sad woman. Actually, they all looked the same to me, except that my sister had once told me, ''Human woman have longer hair and softer voices. Human men are bigger and less gentle. But it's not always like that, sometimes it depends on how they have been brought up.'' When I asked her how she knew all that, she said that she spent hours at a time looking at the Chang family, who had nine children. I was impressed, I had not acknowledged the skill of human breeding.
And as I looked at the cowering woman, who was screaming the words ''Rape! Rape!'', I wondered whose child she had been. Her mother and father must love her. Did the four men not realise the pain the woman's parents would feel if something bad happened to their daughter? I felt angry at them. They were all humans, why did they want to make each other unhappy?
My world was strange again as I flew back to my nest. Where there was kindness, there was cruelty. Where there was joy, there was sadness. It was ironic how the humans could call the animals cruel, when their own species caused harm within the same place? Their leaders called for world peace, their nation triumphed in modernisation. But in all this chaos, did they not realise that they had so much more to overcome, so many more social ills to invest their energy into, before pursuing greatness?
I have flown to many places. I am old now, I am weak. But I have seen things that education cannot teach. I have seen firefighters rescue people trapped in burning buildings. I have seen childbirth, as there was always a window for me to enter the hospital room through. I have seen joy, but in its paradox, I have seen sorrow. I have seen murder, I have seen children throwing rocks at a dog. I have felt, even if the humans do not know it yet, anger and thankfulness. And as I close my eyes for the last time, I feel love for the human child who saved me in my youth. Such a strange world, but it is still my world, just shared with others.
Wow...u musta spent a long time typing this eh?
Well
i nice story, using a bird to sorta look in to the human world...very nice...if
this was an essay u'd hand in to a teacher i'd give upon 30.....28/30 ^^ its
very nice....
arigato prydey
XP
well witten! imagine that! iiwa the storywriter and perhaps poet! hahaha, you should thank me for pointing out all your mistakes... (admittedly there were only 2 of them)
i think you could lengthen the sentences though, you know...adding more detail and such?
anyway, it's really good!
p.s since when have you become so philosophical?
very nice story...really good actually...
WOW very intresting, iliked it alot, i look forward to see what else ya write up ^^,great job
wow!! great story iiwa!!
hehe now i know what's it like to look at human's from a "bird-eye" view!!!
a veri interesting perspective!! =) *applause*
i wanna read more!!
ur such
a good writer!! 
i wish
i could write something like that 
thanks for sharing!! arigato ne!!
Your story was so moving. I cannot believe how incredibly well you write.
I loved the story! *tear* I truly think you should pursue writing because you are
amazing. Keep exercising your talent iiwa! I love the way you chose to write from
a bird's point of view. It makes us humans turn to ourselves and examine what we're really like.
I like how you contrasted joy and sorrow, good and evil in the world. The imagery was great as well. I abosolutely love your work. I certainly hope you will continue to share your stories with us. Thank you iiwa! Thanks for your brilliance and wit!
Wow....nice.
It is very well written.
The story creats images very well.
Wow...
This really moved me... you managed to capture humanity at its fullest in this piece of story. It was incredible well written and had a lot of nice emotions descriptions.
Good job!
Sorry iiwa, I'm bored so I did not read the whole thing... just joking!
i didn't know you can do stories eh. Very nicely done. ^_^
wowiez iiwa....very GOOD....i lov it..and its NOT stupid...you have a very crative mind...and you are a good stori teller....i love it....i liked how you called yourself and saw yourself as a bird....this is very AWSOME....please write another one..im saving this...very nice...its a keeper indeed...its a sad and wonderful experiance aswell...very well done...keep it up...im looking forward to the next one...
wowie, iiwa-chan...you're such a clever story teller!!
maybe it wasn't needed cuz subtle lessons and stories are good, as well and
it's left up to the reader to make those conclusions. well, that's just my
silly opinion... 
it's nice how you used a bird's perspective to give us humans some good life lessons!
your story has elements of hope and despair, and it seems it's up to us to make either the right or wrong decisions. you have nice imagery, as well about the things the birdie saw. but i thought the second to the last paragraph sounded to preachy...
Stephie-chan writing story! I was a little... lazy to read it, but i did managed to read it all. Unbelievable. ^^
Anyways... yea... a story of what a bird have seen throughout it's whole life. A mix of sadness, sorrow, happiness... all that. Chrono Cross has this kind of element too. Maybe you've tried playing Chrono Cross, you might understand the world a little more better too. ^^
hey! hi iiwa, your history is sooooo extense... then i dont have read ^^U but I congratulate you for write it
D
huggies!! abrazos hahaha =P
Greed Rules 0k?
well well well.. u write very well.. that's very very good... i mean it. reading it, u're very good as a composer of creative writing assignments.... hmm... like what some have said, keep practicing.. and i never thought of it before.... but u could sometimes take heart from what other ppl have said about it... and improve upon it... even look to ur teacher.. haha... well i was lucky to have one teacher in sydney in form 3 who helped me get from 11/20 over there.. to 19/20 in 8 months (yea long.. but considering i did it myself... i was proud of it... haha... worked hard for it... i'm not the most creative person ya see
)
keep it up... i'm saving this story in my computer now if u don't mind... maybe one day i can tell of a great friend who wrote creative stories and imaginative at the same time... haha
don't let anyone get u down about it either... haha... i remember when i did :P omg its so much like a lecture now.. haha... nyway, yea, criticism is good when its constructive... so take in some criticism when it may be warranted... haha.. but don't be like me and take things personally (in my younger and more naive days la!)
hmm... but u know.. i'm really really really impressed....
That is a great story you did a wonderful job!! It is very imaginatize adn so good! That is so great! I love the story!! You have a wonderful imagination!! Way to go!!
