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Help please School^^

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chrno

chrno

sometimes it hurts..

I just had to write a text about "smokefree school" for SAPS. I just want you to say me if the grammatic is right or if there are any mistakes in it ^^

here it comes:

Lloyd Gymnasium – Smokefree School


In my opinion the Lloyd Gymnasium will never be smokefree because no rule will be make pupils not to smoke. I think if you would have friends who are smokers you will be a smoker soon too. I really want to say: „Do not smoke.“ Smoking is bad and it can shorten your life! No one does really like smoking. For some people it looks cool but it isn’t because it smells not good and you weren’t be able to give up after a while. Every year the children begins earlier to smoke! The accessage will get earlier and earlier every year. Your lungs will be
black after smoking a whole live and you can get cancer and other diseases easier. Smokers do not smell that the clothes smells like cigarettes but non-smokers would smell it.

The senator for education Lemke in Bremen made a rule that cigarettes are forbidden in schools. The cigarettes will be forbidden also in hospitals, kindergarten and at the railroad stations!

Here a picture which shows a campaign to forget the smoking (Nordsee-Zeitung).


Lemke wants to forbid teachers to smoke in future. Lemke wants to pay withdrawal courses for teachers to give up smoking. The schools will be motivated by contests to have cigarettefree schools! This „smokefree schools project“ will be started 2006.

(c) by Florian J

I hope you will help me! Please!!!

[ it's getting worse and worse and worse.... ]

Moderator of [ Celestia ] and [ German-Members ] | Member of [ Ilvalthia ] and [ Hispanime ]

Albiore

Albiore

Webmaster

Saludos, chrno:

Hay carecteres que no se ven (��). Cuidado con eso. El restol, pues no sé, lo siento. u__u

Http://daidaros.com

Darla83

Darla83

BioRhythm ?

You wand us to take teh mistakes out! XD your really supposed to do your assignments yourzelve to be a sport...

Quote: Lloyd Gymnasium – Smokefree School


In my opinion the Lloyd Gymnasium will never be smokefree because no rule will make pupils not smoke. I think if you would have friends who are smokers you will be a smoker soon too. I really want to say: „Do not smoke.“ Smoking is bad and it can shorten your life! No one really likes smoking. For some people it looks cool but it isn’t because it doesn't smell good and you are not able to give up after a while. Every year the children begin to smoke earlier! The accessage will get earlier and earlier every year. Your lungs will be
black after smoking a whole live and you can get cancer and other diseases easier. Smokers do not smell that the clothes smells like cigarettes but non-smokers would smell it.

The senator for education Lemke in Bremen made a rule that cigarettes are forbidden in schools. The cigarettes will be forbidden also in hospitals, kindergarten and at the railroad stations!

Here a picture which shows a campaign to forget the smoking (Nordsee-Zeitung).


Lemke wants to forbid teachers to smoke in future and pay withdrawal courses for teachers to give up smoking. The schools will be motivated by contests to have cigarettefree schools! This „smokefree schools project“ will be starting 2006.

well something like this... :D notice the differences game :D

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chrno

chrno

sometimes it hurts..

en íngles por favor!

^^

[ it's getting worse and worse and worse.... ]

Moderator of [ Celestia ] and [ German-Members ] | Member of [ Ilvalthia ] and [ Hispanime ]

chibikko

chibikko

chibigaki

aha very suitable topic for you =P
i'll tell you what i'd change though you don't really care about my english =P (since there are only spanish ppl who want to help you, why not a german pupil)

In my opinion the Lloyd Gymnasium will never become a smoker free school without a rule making the pupils stop smoking (yeees i know, it sounds horrible but this is the english WE are learning right now). I think if you have friends who are smokers, you'll probably become one very soon, too. (no 'will' in if-clauses). [i don't understand the next sentence XD] Smoking is a bad habit and can shorten your life! No one does like smoking, but it's cool for some people although it smells terrible and you can't stop immediately. The children start smoking earlier every year. [next one don't understand, either]. Your lungs turn black after smoking for all your life and you might get (really get?) cancer or other diseases easily. Smokers don't notice their disgusting smell but non-smokers do.

nah i'm too lazy for the rest... natuerlich muss man nicht alles ausbessern, aber smoke und smell kommt oft vor (kaum vermeidbar >.<). also ist das was ich dir hingetippt habe nur ein vorschlag, ok? frag lieber einen briten/ami direkt =P

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cloudcherry

cloudcherry

...CherryBerry...

um I will have a go, haha i hope it helps ^_____^ I will kinda change it round a bit...hope you don't mind :) Just one opinion on it ^____^


Lloyd Gymnasium � Smokefree School

In my opinion the Lloyd Gymnasium will never be smokefree because although rules may be made to prevent it, no rule can ever be made to completely stop pupils from smoking. I believe that if you would have friends who are smokers peer pressure and the accessability of cigarettes will influence you to be a smoker also. I really want to inform every one: Do not smoke. Smoking is bad and can shorten your life! No one really likes smoking. For some people it may look cool but it isn't. It smells terrible and those who smoke find it difficult to break the habit. Every year youths begin to smoke earlier! Having cigarettes avaliable at a young age will get earlier and earlier every year. Your lungs will be black after smoking your whole live and as a result you can get cancer and other diseases easier. Smokers do not realise that their clothes smell just like cigarettes but non-smokers would smell it.

The senator for education Lemke in Bremen made a rule that cigarettes are forbidden in schools. Cigarettes will also be forbidden in hospitals, kindergartens and at railroad stations!

Here a picture which shows a campaign to forget the smoking (Nordsee-Zeitung).


Lemke wants to forbid teachers to smoke in the future. He wants to fund withdrawal courses for teachers to give up smoking. The schools will be motivated by contests to be cigarette free! This smokefree schools project will be started 2006.

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