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Get the rod, beat the child!!!

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OracleAngel

Retired Moderator

OracleAngel

-... de lovbot-

"Get the rod beat the child" yeah thats something i got from a movie called Matilda.... But anyway this is a thread about Disciplining children and how does it affect them... One may say that disciplining your child builds character and teaches them right from wrong in this world and another bad thing is that too much of it might make them rebellious and traumatized. Is that a wrong or right thing to hit or spank the child when they did wrong?? Some old folk tales say that if you were a bad person when you were a kid then your children will experience the same thing and whats worse, you will have to experience it all over again.

I myself lived in a normal family life, I was a handful when growing up and a little scold there and spank here and whats nice about as you grow older you tend to be less and less scolded and spanked because you dont do the wrong things (because its always my bros which get the hardest since they fight constantly XD ) But i dont know with you guys i myself havent done anything yet that would maky my Fathe rpunch me in the face or my mom shout at me at her hardest... :p

So whats the big question...

1. Is disciplining a child (either scolding or spanking) an effective way to build the character of your child so he/she can be ready for the real world? or is it something they themselves have to experince themselves.

2. Have you yourself experienced this or have you just been pampered all the way?

3. Believe in that saying "What ever you become in this world will be reflected on your children" ??

imunown

pop tart terrorist

1) proper discipline is good. spanking, when done right is very benificial to the proper development of the child.
As people are finding out, Dr Spock didnt know squat about child raising (his theorys are being proved bupkiss) his son shot himself!

2) my parents spanked me if i did something wrong. being the first born, i wanted to generally please my parents so i didnt get into as much trouble as my more rebelious siblings ^_^;;

3) err.. no? i as a person am different from my folks, as they are from their folks... people are different...

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tecnophreak

tecnophreak

retired user

1. It depends on the atmosphere. if the child is given everything he/she wants, and verbally scolded, he'she will likely grow spoiled, and thus need to be broken by spanking. BUT, i generally think it is wrong to spank a child because of how freakin mad it made me when my parents did.

2.yuuup

3. yes, I can believ that. sooo, if i ever have kids, I will choose to be my best.

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1)This really depends on the child and how he/she is raised, I believe in disciplin. But for example my little brother spankings did no good growing up.

2)I've endored a few spankings and groundment ;)

3)i think this is only half true.

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SilentMasamune

SilentMasamune

I'm all washed up. . .

All of the above upholds true for me, but I must elaborate on the third question.

As the parent of your own child, you would pass down whatever knowledge you gained to your child. If the knowledge gained is cheating behavior or drinking alcohol and smoking weed , the child will learn that. If the knowledge gained is educational or beneficial, the child will pick up on that. Also, actions and attitudes determine a child's development.

If none of these apply, the child will learn one way or the other on his or her own.

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joycev

joycev

the PS3 with boobs & personality

1. Yes I believe that sometimes spanking is needed.

2. I grew up in a very unhappy house. My father was and still is abusive both physically, verbally, and mentally. He's not as bad as he used to be though. My mother was/is always yelling at everyone and everything. I always have and always will try to make myself the least bit noticable that I can. To answer the question, Yes, I was beaten as a child. I was yelled at, sworn at, slapped, spanked, and wittnessed many things that I wish I haddn't.

3. No. I will never be like my parents...

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autumnchill

autumnchill

~.::.Memento Mori.::.~

1. Yes, I believe that much discipline is needed...but not to the extent that parents and children are having WWFs in the households...that takes it rather way too far.

2. I grew up in a fine family...I was very much disciplined when I was little...being that I was so curious...but as I got older, I didn't get as much discipline. Strange isn't it? lolz...^.^

3. I can say I'm only half with the saying, cuz sometimes, it turns out that you really do act like your father/mother even if you don't want to. But when kids are often spoiled, their kids might not...they may...but maybe kids have the sense that their parents don't care much about their well being but their own selves.

~.:: R E M E M B E R - T H A T - Y O U - W I L L - D I E ::.~


skysong

skysong

~SMS~

My experiences are very similar to your OracleAngel. When I was really young, I was spanked a couple of times, but only when I did something really bad...like draw on things I definitly wasn't supposed to ^_^' ...but anyways, when my sisters were born, I no longer got in trouble as much, and they did more because, like your brothers, they fought a lot.
so my answeres would have to be:
1) Yes, in many cases it does help, but of course doesn't work for all...
2) I have been disciplined, and I think it did help me behave better
3) No, I think we are all responsible for our own choices really...what we do for our children can affect how they behave, but it doesn't necissarily mean they will be like us..

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BiNumber3

BiNumber3

The 3rd one, tween the 2nd n 4th

I had a speaker come in for a class a long time ago and he said this "Live life the way you want your kids to" which is something for the parents(sorry kindof off topic:))

But i believe in discipline too, however a lot of parents go overboard, both physically and verbally, So its more of "how should parents behave?"
I think

Kids these days... taking love too seriously, shouldn't be worryin about love til they're at LEAST 11 years old

shyxsakura

Retired Moderator

shyxsakura

poopoo

1. Is disciplining a child (either scolding or spanking) an effective way to build the character of your child so he/she can be ready for the real world? or is it something they themselves have to experince themselves.

...... no ..... >.< itz not ... it only hurts the child ....

2. Have you yourself experienced this or have you just been pampered all the way?

-______- all korean families do it ... itz normal ...

3. Believe in that saying "What ever you become in this world will be reflected on your children" ??

..... the parent hitting the child .. affects the child greatly .. >.<

nice thread .. >.<

<--- thinking a lot ...

antiquePOP

Teryon

Teryon

He who invents Ultratech

1. Is disciplining a child (either scolding or spanking) an effective way to build the character of your child so he/she can be ready for the real world? or is it something they themselves have to experince themselves.

Disciplining a kid? Hell yeah. But on what level? Some harsh words and a light smack on the cheek or butt, sure. Past that? Its *really* a bad thing, generally leads to intense anger and revenge-fantasies on the part of the child. Im basing this on alot of my friends who were raised with heavy discipline, while I myself was raised with the former method ;0


2. Have you yourself experienced this or have you just been pampered all the way?

Nope. Ive been yelled at on a daily basis for awhile..well, was, Ive toned down my rhetoric a little bit since turning 21...

3. Believe in that saying "What ever you become in this world will be reflected on your children" ??

Nope. Not completely. That puts far too much on the part of the parent and nothing about how the child decides to develop.

"Brute force is not my way. My technology can devise infinitely more
successful, subtle, and unpleasant methods..."
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1. Is disciplining a child (either scolding or spanking) an effective way to build the character of your child so he/she can be ready for the real world? or is it something they themselves have to experince themselves.

Various studies have shown that beating children has far more negative results than positive ones. The negative effects might not be obvious at first, but might reveal themselves later on (sometimes not until they've reached adulthood). Disciplining is ok, but hitting is stupid. Really, hitting your own child? Does it get dumber than that?

2. Have you yourself experienced this or have you just been pampered all the way?

I was spanked as a kid, so I will definitely NOT do it onto my own kids. My mom never hit me, so I'ma raise my kids the way my mom raised me.

3. Believe in that saying "What ever you become in this world will be reflected on your children" ??

i do believe that positive parents are far more likely to have good kids, while neglectful parents usually end up w/ kids that turn out wrong.

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Celessa

Retired Moderator

Celessa

Okaerinasai - Welcome Home

Ahhh! Matilda! One of my favorite movies to watch of all time back in the days. lolis - The Principle was a little wrecker, yes she was. Miss Honeysuckle was my fav. character though - hehe. Smooth, calm, good-looking to boot - and very sophisticated. ^_^

Oh, then again - where was I? The Chokie! O_o

Enough movie terms - and stuffing down chocolate cake. lol

1. Is disciplining a child (either scolding or spanking) an
effective way to build the character of your child so he/she can be
ready for the real world? or is it something they themselves have to
experince themselves.

Not really. I frown upon obsessive spanking, but scolding does have its effectiveness, no doubt. There's a certain measure of one compared to the other, I presume, and spanking is definitely a no-no here. Punishment works as well - but I think scolding should be used to a small extent. It may be rude, it may be bashful, but it works to a certain degree. Constant scoldings will cause them to hate you even more, so you have to be careful, of course.

2. Have you yourself experienced this or have you just been pampered
all the way?

Spanking? Heck no. I lived a normal life of course. I did get yelled at a couple of times for doing something wrong against them, but as I grew up, it apparently seems that I'm taking over and yelling at them instead. I've learned a lot back then and I realized that I'd rather be calm, cool, and collected over the situation, then when the people leave, I can deal my frustration out and the sorts. And that includes curtain tearing and wall-bashing in abandoned homes. Hey, it works. lol

Really - I let it out constantly from time to time. Just a little bit - rather than bottle up an entire jar full of rage here.

3. Believe in that saying "What ever you become in this world will be
reflected on your children"

No - parents would love to see their children do better than they do, of course. It would be up to the children to choose who they want to become, and as long as they steer in the right direction, this reflection won't matter much, really.

"No matter where you go, no matter how tough life may be, just remember that always in your heart, you will still be loved."

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equinox01

equinox01

Lost In Darkness

What I do Know is that in many cases children who have been spanked may end being emotionally scarred

As for myself I will be nothing like my parents!!!!!

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I don' Like myself much
Shadow

Phren

Phren

Kodoku no Koe

1.) I do believe in physical dicipline. As long as it is done for the benefit of the child and not because the parent is frustrated and wants to him someone (IE. abuse).
I hated gettting spankings, and I got many of them. but, seeing my brother grow up, having never been hit for anything, and I see the kind of person his is and how he treat my parents and everyone else like dirt.. I almost want to thank them for hitting me... -__-

2)^ see above

3) I believe it is both influence as well as the person. Humans are odd.. if something is done to them as children which they hate, they seem to either turn around and do the same thing to others, or they reject it and are nothing like that... So while it can and does happen often, it's not a rule.. But what you teach your children while your around them always has a great effect.. (hmm sorry if thats a non-answer >__< )

.../X\(. .)/X\ *scuttle*

1. Discipline should be done without violence, I can't speak for all of you but I know for a fact that being hit once I guess I can tolerate, twice, fair enough, three times, must have done something to deserve it, 4 times, pushing it.. any more than that, just makes me want to hit back, to me, violence causes a worse behavior than verbal discipline, letting the child know what it has done wrong and how it can be done differently etc is a better form of overcoming a problem, not beating it upside the head 'just because'.

2. I wasn't hit too often, my parents had already encountered that it made me more angry than just yelling at me would have done since most, if not all kids sulk. I don't really know about how I am the way I am, my parents didn't raise me this way, my parents' upbringing reflects in my brother and sister but I'm kind of a black sheep, everyone in my family agrees. o_o

3. See above, guess I'm 50/50 about this.

Eagle

Eagle

Full time sadomasochist

I agree with number 3, but i'm still spoilt :)

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