before I start my depressed rant of understanding, MODS, is there a way t hat we can get a forum for this kind of thing? i just don't want to bother the others.
if anyone truly reads this whole thing, i truly thank you. wit all my heart.
The delicacy of the mind is an imperative thing to keep im mind at all times. like all creatures,
humans tend to take in his/her surroundings continuously, a survival trait that most likely
will never dissappear. what is so terribly sad about this, is a single action---eye contact, body pose
, even a single word can confuse and detrail a train of thought, a feeling, a purpose or anything for that matter
in a person, allowing for the true identity of the intent to be ever-clouded.
Art is an exception here though, for the artist, if skillful enough, can express the intent
and/or feeling, etc with music, picture, etc. although this may be an exception, the EXCACT intent cannot
be truly known in the same way as opposed from the original source. the point of this that all words and actions have
lost thier meaning to me. I am numb. noone can truly know how one feels/thinks, etc
"I love you" is a mere statment intended for a response. the only one who can truly know what i am, how i
feel, and everything that is me, is the lord. I have my times of depression/happiness, but this is the truth that i
speak. the world before us is a facade much like the matrix, but in a bigger way than we can ever imagine. I can only
hope that i am proven wrong someday...Until then, I am a walking dream.
I do not write this out of self-pity, depression, or negativity, I only realize what is really composed of the sentient
life that is humanity. you felling me yet? most likely not.in a purely objective view, suppose you say to someone that
ypu are around them all the time, but don't talk too much. what d oyou think they would percieve you as? instead of
going into examples I will simply say this: "we, as humans, take pure advantage of the life that we have. we
don't care how others feel, what they are doing, etc, and if you are polite, they think you wnat something."
ok, i can see that. but why think that all the time?
the meaning of sadness has no bearing on the overwhelming pit that is my life. can god fill that pit? can i live up to
his grace? i can try. and i will.
but i am starting to think that i was put on this world to teach others. and in respect omy persona, never have a soulmate in this life. whatever my purpose, my disposition, my life, i will live it to the fullest in jesus' name. one final question: why in the HELL does DC talk make me depressed?????? maybe becuase they sound so happy talking about someone they love....before i confuse further, i shall leave.
now you see why my walls are dark...
EDIT: oh, and btw, this has been a fairly good day.
