Hi! Just wanna ask:
What if you have lots of bestfriends in your school then you transfered into a different school. after a year you came
back for them knowing that a new friend has added to your group.. Among your group theres this one person that's
closest to you... Among all of them shes the one youre always with. Then there came a time you heard your other
bestfriends talking about you... Talking how you change the attitude of that closest person to you... Would you be
hurt???
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What would you do if other people always pulls away the person who's closest to you since you've became
friends. They want you to be away from her. And even judges you for being so selfish... But deep in your heart you know
that the person who's closest to you also wants to be with you... Both of you were the closest in your class.
Because you're the ones that can understand each other... But then they keep on pulling you away from her... What
would you do? Leave her with the others and try to be on your own, or fight for your friendship?
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What would you do if among your group you have this person who always had fights with you... And youre afraid of her
being angry with you... You feel that whenever she needs something with you thats the only time she wants to be with
you. And youre always ready tro help her.. But still yu feel she didnt trust you... And she dont care of you being mad
at her as long as she had her boyfriend with her... And doesnt even want to tell you secrets, while the others that
werent her bestfriends knows all of that secrets... What would you do? T_T
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Sorry for asking so many questions.... T_T
Thank you and have a nice day...
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- Feb 18, 2005
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wow...pretty deep questions there...as for the first questions....
-yes i would be quite sad...but its my fault for not staying in touch...
-i dont like forcefully changing other's opinions and feelings...thats not right...if we want to be together then we will...there a things that will help us get closer if we really want it
-well i can't make ppl do things for me...cud but thats not right...if i make someone upset soo be it...i'll apologize as much as i can and try to make up for it if i was wrong or did something dumb...somethings are just private to certain ppl and will be shared when the time is rightdont worry about your questions...they made me think a bit...since i have shared similar experiences....too sad T_T *sniffles*
o_O-0
weeeeeeeee- Feb 18, 2005
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waa~!Thank you Chopstickz-chan..... ^_^ :) But what if you try to stay in touch... And the closest person to you who they said changed, told you that she just changed for herself and that's the way she wanted to be.... And that youre not the reason why she changed... And the reason youre not so close with the others is because you have some experiences with them telling your secrets that you shared with them to others... And the only person yuok now that'll keep your secrets is the person they said that changed..... :sweat:
- Feb 18, 2005
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hehe more questions eh...oh well lets see now...*goes into sensitive and thoughtful mode*
-well i can't expect ppl to stay the same forever...things will happy and if she's happier now than b4 i can live with it
-if they told my secrets i would be upset....but if they were really best friends they wouldn't...if its a slip up and they are truly sorry then i can forgive
-if the only one that will keep my secrets is the one that changed maybe thats a good thing...maybe they changed for the better...at least i know i still have one person that i can trust*sensitive and thoughtful mode off*
o_O-0
weeeeeeeee- Feb 18, 2005
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Not bad. I tried my best to understand your questions, but I can only answer the last two. I couldn't really grasp the first question quite that well - maybe perhaps because I've never felt such experience before.
Now I apologize if there are some grammatical errors in this post I'm about to conjure up - it's late at night and I should get some shut eye, but I'll try my best in my ability to make up an answer through my own experience that definitely makes sense to you Chizuku - and well, I'm not going to look back and re-edit it, so pardon me for not fixing my corrections - if that idea I just tried to point out even made sense. ROFL
Alright, what the heck am I saying? lol - let's get down to business before I wander in my sleep.
Quote by Chizuku==================================================(...) would you do if other people always pulls away the person who's
closest to you since you've became friends. They want you to be away
from her. And even judges you for being so selfish... But deep in your
heart you know that the person who's closest to you also wants to be
with you... Both of you were the closest in your class. Because you're
the ones that can understand each other... But then they keep on
pulling you away from her... What would you do? Leave her with the
others and try to be on your own, or fight for your friendship?I'd definitely fight for the friendship. If she's very close to you and the other guys get jealous of your relationship, tell them to bug off for once, and let the girl decide - and since you both are very close, I don't see what's the problem with breaking the two of you apart when you both can potentially be very good friends. Really - would I call those people who try to break those two apart modest people for that matter? That's inconsiderate of them, really. Heck - its hard to lose good friends, and I would fight for them, and never give them up. No way. Why not when they're asking for it? You can show them that you really care for your friend, regardless of what they are trying to do, or at leasting trying to say behind your very back. Just ignore them, really.
I'd never let them get away with it. They all should learn to grow up.
I've been in a forum where the opposite situation kinda takes effect - I was close to my best friend in a forum and nobody seemed to be jealous when we two really stuck to each other and posted like crazy or fun. No one was involved in trying to break our bond of great friendship either, through jealousy of course. In real life, however, it happens all the time. People start getting jealous because your friendship is so strong and so attached, and they try to break you up - especially the bond between a sensible guy and a warm-hearted girl. It's a shame, really. Thank goodness that university is totally different. Good friends are hard to come by, and I would not let them win so easily when they try to tear good friendships apart. They can go eat bricks for all I care. lol **Pulls out a teflon pan** Good riddance, those humans are strange beings indeed. Leave them alone, really. What's the matter with you, eh? Be sensible - stop acting like you own them. Get real.
Quote by Chizuku=================================================(...) would you do if among your group you have this person who always
had fights with you... And youre afraid of her being angry with you...
You feel that whenever she needs something with you thats the only time
she wants to be with you. And youre always ready tro help her.. But
still yu feel she didnt trust you... And she dont care of you being mad
at her as long as she had her boyfriend with her... And doesnt even
want to tell you secrets, while the others that werent her bestfriends
knows all of that secrets... What would you do? T_TIt happens, but I haven't seem much of it apparently. If I was that person who held a grudge against the other in a group, I just avoid them and never talk to them at all. Let them have a taste of their own medicine. If someone hates you, don't be around with them, period. Especially if you guys hang out together in groups. I've had that feeling before and I know what you are trying to say. When she's down though, help her of course. Even if she bad-mouthed you afterwards.
Someday, if you are kind enough to her but not really moved by her hatred towards you, even though you secretly hate her from the inside, just shrug it off and don't take it personally - be around people who treat you with kindness, dignity, and respect - and someday she'll actually thank you and apologize for being so rude and unkind - and it works. That's how I get to see the other side of people. Girls are strange individuals indeed - that's just the way they think. Some will even hate you and deny looking at who you really are, because they can be stubborn people, really. But in the back of their minds, as long as you keep treating them with respect and dignity despite them hating you, in the long run, you'll feel glad when they acknowledge what you've done to them so far, and beared all the scrutinty they fired at you - and it feels so comforting when they start to say "Why are you always so nice to me after all the bad things I've been doing to you?" When they forget resisting you and see your other true side, for who you really are, your kinder side, they'll eventually thank you then and ask for your forgiveness - then you both will start talking together, mending a stronger friendship - and it seems fulfilling at the same time. I know it'll feel awkward when you two will stop hating each other and start becoming more like friends, but getting one person who hates you to start liking and respecting you out of your own realization - you'll feel like a more humble, happier being, believe me.
If I am unclear in parts of my responses, you can bring them up again Chizuku. Take care. **Waves** I hope you know what I'm trying to say. So long now.
"No matter where you go, no matter how tough life may be, just remember that always in your heart, you will still be loved."
- Feb 18, 2005
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waa~! Thank you very much Celessa-chan and Chopstickz-chan for being so nice.. And for answering my questions... Maybe after some time she'll learn to love me as her bestfriend, though we are right now... ^_^ But what if she did something wrong and you try to correct her then suddenly she became angry to you... What would you do? And she easily gets mad at you whenever you correct her.... or when you tell her that what she's doing is really bad... Sorry for asking soooo many questions... t_t' I really dun'no what to do... T_T Btw thank you for understanding my questions... Hve a nce day!
Jaa-ne~! XP :pacman: ;)- Feb 18, 2005
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unfortunately people need to be free to make their own mistakes. trying to change how someone else behaves is tricky. you can either risk losing your relationship with them, or stand by and be ready to support them when they need it. it depends on what your real goal is.
if being close to them and having them like you is more important, then try to support them without trying to change their behavior. making suggestions is ok, but doing it to much becomes nagging, and everybody hates that.
if, on the other hand, your goal is to protect them (meaning their mistakes could be dangerous), then you need to keep at it, even if it means they won't like you any more.
unfortunately i don't think you can do both. either try to change her and risk losing your friendship, or support her despite what you think about her actions.- Feb 18, 2005
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waa~! Thank you Lost1-chan... I'm having a hard time understanding her... Because when she needs someone she always run to me and im happy to help her.. But then whenever her problems were through, she doesnt pay any attention to me... And it hurts to me... She's also the one who said that I am the one who changed the closest person to me... I feel that she really doesnt like me... She does like me when she have favors to me..... I always try to understand her, but it seems no use... :sweat:
- Feb 18, 2005
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thats a tough one. on the one hand, it may be that she just thinks you are more reliable or that she can count on you more than she can others. but its hard to know whether or not she's just using you. ultimately i think it depends on if you can be ok with a friendship like that.
you should wait until she comes to you about something and discuss it with her. it seems kind of bad to have to use the situation like that, but it may be the only time she's really listening to you. probably best to discuss her problem first, then mention how you feel about your situation after.
tell her it feels like she's only your friend when she has a problem she needs help with, and you'd like to be more of a friend than just then. she'll probably be a bit hurt/upset from being told you think that, so try not to get defensive or angry if she gets upset. probably best to let her know you will still be there for her and she can still come to you if she needs to.i'm also wondering what you meant when you said she did things you thought were really bad. she may think you look down on her, or judge her about things she does. its really hard to have a good time when you think someone is judging your actions. she may just be uncomfortable enough so that ignoring you makes it easier for her sometimes.
- Feb 18, 2005
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waa~! thank you Lost1-chan... Advices from you guys really helps.... Thanks so much....
- Feb 18, 2005
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