Gotta Dedicate a Thread to Nice Girls as Well ^^

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Ayamael

Ayamael

yumemitai

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Well, i'm sorry Mordin, i just had to do it (and Iyasis encouraged me, but ran away when i asked her to do it lol). Hope you'll forgive me... ^^... Actually, it's not an answer to your thread coz' it's true that a lot of girls do that.... It's just that, as Cy himself stated, nice girls also finish last (i'm a living proof of that, 21 years old, and i've never been asked out on a date, however, i'm the first person guys come to for help and advice for anything... and i'm serious!). Now, i'm also gonna generalize... (for anyone who wants to see Mordin's thread : http://forum.minitokyo.net/showthread/15758/

Nice girls have similar problem as the one’s Mordin pointed out for nice guys: girls that are shy, serious, and who may not be the prettiest or popular girl, yet are truly genuine, sincere, and kind-hearted are always left out. Guys will go for the hot chick that is outspoken, popular, flirty, and more open, etc but in the end, that girl is probably gonna dump them after finding someone else that is more "up-to-date" and more popular, so to speak...

Okay, i know many girls like that, but i'll give you the exemple of a girl i grew up with. She changed boyfriends every week, if not days... Not only that, she got one of the nicest guy in our school, and when i say nicest, i mean it : he was willing to sacrifice everything for her, but she cheated on him, manipulated him and so on. Eventually, she made him just like her. Now he's one of those guys who considers girls as collecting toys... (basically, the description of Mordin's sleezebag...) No wonder, he's probably never gonna trust a girl again... I really feel bad for him...

I guess it is a fact we are attracted to people who are self-confident...

Another issue is the reputation of each gender when it comes to their behaviour and activities…, Iyasis mentioned that I should also talk about the "dating double standard ". In short, if a guy goes out with a lot of girls and basically is a player, they are perceived as a "stud", "ladiesman" and admired and idolized by both their male and female peers. Conversely, if a female does the exact same thing, and goes out with a lot of guys, they are negatively labelled as a "slut", among other unpleasant names, and often frowned upon by those same peers.

Well, you're right it's nice to get this off our chest Mordin ^^...i'm sorry again.. *runs away now*

Holt

Holt

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I see what you mean. I guess it's the same for both genders. Guys can be every bit as shallow as girls.
I myself would actually prefer someone who's quiet, kind and cute (not "hot", cute). Unfortunately I've never met any such person. Now I'm in an all boys school it doesn't help.
On your second point, I've known the type. I've never idolised any "stud" though because I've always thought its such a waste. If you're lucky enough to have a great partner, why throw that away?
Don't worry about it. You're still young. Some day a great guy will see what's great about you. Until then, life goes on.

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Celessa

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Quote by AyamaelGuys will go for the hot chick that
is outspoken, popular, flirty, and more open, etc but in the end, that
girl is probably gonna dump them after finding someone else that is
more "up-to-date" and more popular, so to speak...

I'm generally fitted into the category -

Outspoken: Yes
Popular In Real Life: Yes <Though I tend not to be, still, they always put me in the center of attention. Don't know why>
Flirty: Heck no!
More Open: Not really. It depends.

Now I'll hate to admit, that even though people may consider me to be one of the most beautiful, personality-crazed girl out there, the truth is that you don't find many of these people as nice, and although I hate to boast, I'm one of those nice girls as well. **Raises her hands**

I hate ecchi.
I hate guys who consider me a model who should take a modelling career. I dropped it and went to university. I'm not a no-brainer. Guys always tend to mistaken me for one, and suddenly those "studs" like Ayamael pointed out lost interest in me because my personality goes far beyond their own. Or actually I lost interest in them, because they can't keep up. Their personality gets too flat at times. Personality first, of course.

I love being funny - that's just me.
Energetic when I need to be, happy as always, and serious where it counts.

I take things the mature way, for someone my age.
My smarts may surprise certain people, actually, but its the looks that draw them back, and I'll admit, not many girls have both, apparently. Always one but not the other.

As to taking advantage of people - heck no. I simply don't care.
I'm very honest but I don't go blunt around things.

When a guy leaves a nice compliment, I will return one in respects, especially to a stranger. I know good guys and terrible guys out there - I take value of friends as great and I don't like to talk behind one's back. I keep it bottled up or I'll tall the person straight up when it is considered appropriate. And I don't turn a blind eye on people's opinions all the time. I'm more of those girls who like to stay back and listen to what they have to say, though I'll admit some people bore me. Then I just stand up and walk away, saying I feel tired. I know I don't like offending them, but I hate people when they stick on to me because of my looks - this girl is one clever one to boot.

So to all the beautiful girls out there like me with the brain power - filled with kindness and spiritual feelings at heart, this is for you! Unique and very very rare we are! **Chugs on a root beer** Girl power rules!

"No matter where you go, no matter how tough life may be, just remember that always in your heart, you will still be loved."

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haha soo true...ppl just suck in general..so judgemental and manipulative of each other
nice ppl are always being taken advantage of...especially girls since nice girls are so
trust worthy that guys tend to be less faithful to them... its is crappy how names are given as you stated when guys date lots of girls and girls date lots of guys...its just that for guys the more the better but girls have higher standards mostly and won't cherish such behavior
oh well guys are worse than girls...for the most part...but an evil girl is much more scarier than
an evil guy

o_O-0
weeeeeeeee

  • Feb 26, 2005

SilentMasamune

SilentMasamune

I'm all washed up. . .

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Ayamael, would you like to be my date?

It's true. Sometimes, the nice girls are overlooked. Sometimes, the nice girls are taken by the really rowdy guys. Sometimes, the nice girls only want the rowdy guys. I still remain unnoticed by many of the girls. Is it because I'm too smart? Is it because I lack a certain quality? There are still many questions that remain unanswered in my case.

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  • Feb 26, 2005

XavierCrow

From Angel to Vigilante

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There are nice girls out there?! XP J/K No, I have to say that I've never found myself attracted to a girl after I know they're a bitch. I don't think most guys do... at least not us nice guys XP. Like nice guys, nice girls seem far and few between. Though I have met some in life, there's a greater collection of them here on MT than anywhere else I've been. Unfortunately, I think the number of geniunely good people is decreasing... my ex-girlfriend became a bitch and decided in addition to pick up guys from the pub at random... recently her life's fallen apart and she's snapped herself back into reality... I don't think it's fair that someone who was once so nice should be hurt by the world so much. To the nice girls out there, I want you to know that you should stay nice... never be anything other than yourself. In the end, bitches are only hurting themselves. It's not about appearance. The more you get to know someone the more attractive they become. Guys do notice nice girls... but you have to look at your friends, because the chances are that one of your close male-friends is living in hell for you...

Take Care.

In the end, all there is, is what exists and what we believe or perceive is true... and there's no distinctions between the two.
- Myself

  • Feb 26, 2005

anfrey

kuchiki rukia turns me on

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..... i like girls just like u described lol... duno why, but i've always had a thing for the cute quiet girl. . . .

  • Feb 26, 2005
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Quote by Holt
I myself would actually prefer someone who's quiet, kind and cute (not
"hot", cute). Unfortunately I've never met any such person.


Me neither....so here I am, alone :(

Maybe someday....

"Don't look at me, I'm just a shark..."

  • Feb 26, 2005

anfrey

kuchiki rukia turns me on

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looks are incredibly secondary when you meet an amazing person. .. .

  • Feb 26, 2005

Celessa

Retired Moderator

Celessa

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Quote by HoltI myself would actually prefer someone who's quiet, kind and cute (not
"hot", cute). Unfortunately I've never met any such person.

lol - hard to find, I agree. There's this friend of mine who fits the exact same description. Everytime she says something, I notice how very kind and sincere she is. Heck, she's my favorite friend in uni. right now. We are like the true long lost sisters who reunited. Haha - so cool! They are very difficult to find indeed. **Nods**

"No matter where you go, no matter how tough life may be, just remember that always in your heart, you will still be loved."

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skysong

skysong

~SMS~

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Ayamael is my hero! I have basically the same problem you do -_-
I'm not outspoken and flirty, and I seem to many times act as the advice giver. Still, i have never been on a date...I work hard in school, and I'm not a big party person, so guys put me into this 'smart girl' category where I'm only good for helping people with school stuff...I really hate that...I really don't consider myself all that smart, its just that I feel it important to do well in school. But then I feel labeled, and perhaps that puts guys off a bit, I don't really know...hmmm...its so hard to understand! Thing is, I like helping people as much as I can, and many guys don't want to be with a 'goody, goody' but I can't help it if I'm a bit like that! I have always been taught to respect people, and to be friendly...its just the way I am, and I don't think I should have to change that.

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  • Feb 26, 2005

Ayamael

Ayamael

yumemitai

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Quote by HoltI see what you mean. I guess it's the same for both genders. Guys can
be every bit as shallow as girls.
I myself would actually prefer someone who's quiet, kind and cute (not
"hot", cute). Unfortunately I've never met any such person. Now I'm in
an all boys school it doesn't help.
On your second point, I've known the type. I've never idolised any
"stud" though because I've always thought its such a waste. If you're
lucky enough to have a great partner, why throw that away?
Don't worry about it. You're still young. Some day a great guy will see
what's great about you. Until then, life goes on.


yes, it's the same for both genders, that's the point i really wanted to make... in a all boy school huh, definitely musn't help, but you'll meet someone i bet ^^... oh, and i'm not worried, just getting impatient lolll

Quote by Chopstickzhaha soo true...ppl just suck in general..so judgemental and
manipulative of each other
nice ppl are always being taken advantage of...especially girls since
nice girls are so
trust worthy that guys tend to be less faithful to them... its is
crappy how names are given as you stated when guys date lots of girls
and girls date lots of guys...its just that for guys the more the
better but girls have higher standards mostly and won't cherish such
behavior oh well guys are worse than girls...for the most part...but an evil
girl is much more scarier than an evil guy


you're right, evil girls is much, much more scary than evil guys, maybe coz' in the case of a girl, we never know where the hit is going to come from (thinking about my current roommate at the moment...)

Quote by melmachine18Ayamael, would you like to be my date?
It's true. Sometimes, the nice girls are overlooked. Sometimes, the
nice girls are taken by the really rowdy guys. Sometimes, the nice
girls only want the rowdy guys. I still remain unnoticed by many of the
girls. Is it because I'm too smart? Is it because I lack a certain
quality? There are still many questions that remain unanswered in my
case.


finally your turn Mel... i sure didn't expect that one ^_^' you're officially the first guy to ask me out on a date, you're too kind ^^ i'd be happy to be your date, at least until you find that person you'll hold dear to your heart (hopefully closer to you in NY) , person i'm sure you'll find ^^ don't lose hope... some girls actually love smart, serious and more secretive guys, they're probably just too shy to tell you... (i know i would be ^^)

Quote by skysongAyamael is my hero! I have basically the same problem you do -_- I'm
not outspoken and flirty, and I seem to many times act as the advice
giver. Still, i have never been on a date...I work hard in school, and
I'm not a big party person, so guys put me into this 'smart girl'
category where I'm only good for helping people with school stuff...I
really hate that...I really don't consider myself all that smart, its
just that I feel it important to do well in school. But then I feel
labeled, and perhaps that puts guys off a bit, I don't really
know...hmmm...its so hard to understand! Thing is, I like helping
people as much as I can, and many guys don't want to be with a 'goody,
goody' but I can't help it if I'm a bit like that! I have always been
taught to respect people, and to be friendly...its just the way I am,
and I don't think I should have to change that.


lol, i'm someone's hero ^^ it sucks huh?... i get it perfectly... i guess that's how life is, but i'm sure our luck will change someday,

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Quote by Ayamael
lol, i'm someone's hero ^^ it sucks huh?... i get it perfectly... i
guess that's how life is, but i'm sure our luck will change someday,


Well I suppose all we can do is keep a possitive attitude right?

"Don't look at me, I'm just a shark..."

  • Feb 26, 2005

Celessa

Retired Moderator

Celessa

Okaerinasai - Welcome Home

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Quote by jaws909Well I suppose all we can do is keep a possitive attitude right?

Just keep your head up and high and you'll meet one eventually. lol - That's how I met them. It's like finding a jewel in an entire beach full of sand, really. That hard, I know. **Snickers**

"No matter where you go, no matter how tough life may be, just remember that always in your heart, you will still be loved."

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skysong

skysong

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Quote by jaws909

Quote by Ayamael
lol, i'm someone's hero ^^ it sucks huh?... i get it perfectly... i
guess that's how life is, but i'm sure our luck will change someday,


Well I suppose all we can do is keep a possitive attitude right?

Yup, thats the truth. Stay positive, I still have a lot to be happy about :D

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  • Feb 26, 2005

anfrey

kuchiki rukia turns me on

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wow, i'd love to meet u ladies ^_^

  • Feb 26, 2005

Mordin

Mordin

The Wise One

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Quote by AyamaelWell, i'm sorry Mordin, i just had to do it (and Iyasis encouraged me,
but ran away when i asked her to do it lol). Hope you'll forgive me...
^^... Actually, it's not an answer to your thread coz' it's true that a
lot of girls do that.... It's just that, as Cy himself stated, nice
girls also finish last (i'm a living proof of that, 21 years old, and
i've never been asked out on a date, however, i'm the first person guys
come to for help and advice for anything... and i'm serious!). Now, i'm
also gonna generalize... (for anyone who wants to see Mordin's thread :
http://forum.minitokyo.net/showthread/15758/
Nice girls have similar problem as the one’s Mordin pointed out for
nice guys: girls that are shy, serious, and who may not be the
prettiest or popular girl, yet are truly genuine, sincere, and
kind-hearted are always left out. Guys will go for the hot chick that
is outspoken, popular, flirty, and more open, etc but in the end, that
girl is probably gonna dump them after finding someone else that is
more "up-to-date" and more popular, so to speak... Okay, i know many
girls like that, but i'll give you the exemple of a girl i grew up
with. She changed boyfriends every week, if not days... Not only that,
she got one of the nicest guy in our school, and when i say nicest, i
mean it : he was willing to sacrifice everything for her, but she
cheated on him, manipulated him and so on. Eventually, she made him
just like her. Now he's one of those guys who considers girls as
collecting toys... (basically, the description of Mordin's
sleezebag...) No wonder, he's probably never gonna trust a girl
again... I really feel bad for him...
I guess it is a fact we are attracted to people who are
self-confident... Another issue is the reputation of each gender when
it comes to their behaviour and activities…, Iyasis mentioned that I
should also talk about the "dating double standard ". In short, if a
guy goes out with a lot of girls and basically is a player, they are
perceived as a "stud", "ladiesman" and admired and idolized by both
their male and female peers. Conversely, if a female does the exact
same thing, and goes out with a lot of guys, they are negatively
labelled as a "slut", among other unpleasant names, and often frowned
upon by those same peers.
Well, you're right it's nice to get this off our chest Mordin ^^...i'm
sorry again.. *runs away now*


LOL, I am running out of drink for guys and gals now. :D hey Ayamael, I see you got one up on me. :D Well I tried to avoid joining this thread until I can find the right words that I wanted to say. :) I understand your frustration, because nice girls do suffer the similar circumstance nice guys goes through. I will bow to those nice girls that is willing to give us nice guys a chance. Hey, I think it just isn't fair certain girls that are shy gets the lousy end of the stick. :) The double standard between the genders does make girls' life more miserable than guys, and I will admit that when it comes to reputation in dating, the girls have it rough. As you stated it, the preception is so different between guys that date a lot compare to girls that date a lot. I do give you nice gals props for facing so many social pressure as a woman, and I appreciate you gals very much. :) I like nice girls if you haven't already notices, so if I ever seen you nice gals in real life, Ayamael, Celessa, Skysong, and all the other nice mt girls, I will make it a point to do my best to show you us nice guys are good for you ladies. ;) Btw, Ayamael, it feels great to this off my chest too. :D

Quote by CelessaNow I'll hate to admit, that even though people may consider me to be one of the most beautiful, personality-crazed girl out there, the truth is that you don't find many of these people as nice, and although I hate to boast, I'm one of those nice girls as well. **Raises her hands**
...............

When a guy leaves a nice compliment, I will return one in respects, especially to a stranger. I know good guys and terrible guys out there - I take value of friends as great and I don't like to talk behind one's back. I keep it bottled up or I'll tall the person straight up when it is considered appropriate. And I don't turn a blind eye on people's opinions all the time. I'm more of those girls who like to stay back and listen to what they have to say, though I'll admit some people bore me. Then I just stand up and walk away, saying I feel tired. I know I don't like offending them, but I hate people when they stick on to me because of my looks - this girl is one clever one to boot.

So to all the beautiful girls out there like me with the brain power - filled with kindness and spiritual feelings at heart, this is for you! Unique and very very rare we are! **Chugs on a root beer** Girl power rules!


"most beautiful, personality-crazed girl" I guess you just give me a new image of you princess. :D lol the girl power image also fits you very well. Now on a serious note, on behalf of the guys I do thank you and the rest of the girls for listen to our side of story before pounding on our heads. :D j/k It is nice to see someone actually care enough to listen to all sides of the argument before deciding one's own opinion, and I thank all nice girls who do such kind thing. :)

Quote by skysongAyamael is my hero! I have basically the same problem you do -_- I'm
not outspoken and flirty, and I seem to many times act as the advice
giver. Still, i have never been on a date...I work hard in school, and
I'm not a big party person, so guys put me into this 'smart girl'
category where I'm only good for helping people with school stuff...I
really hate that...I really don't consider myself all that smart, its
just that I feel it important to do well in school. But then I feel
labeled, and perhaps that puts guys off a bit, I don't really
know...hmmm...its so hard to understand! Thing is, I like helping
people as much as I can, and many guys don't want to be with a 'goody,
goody' but I can't help it if I'm a bit like that! I have always been
taught to respect people, and to be friendly...its just the way I am,
and I don't think I should have to change that.


Well skysong, i have you know that I consider smart girls very attractive, and there is nothing in being ashame of being a hard working and successful person. Those guys that got put off by it just don't know anything. :) I salute you for being a helpful and hard working gal, so you should feel pride in your own personality. I know a lot of nice guys are dying to meet someone like you offline. :D

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now all of that being said, my praise for all of you nice gals are honest and true, but one question I got to get it out. HOW DO I FIND YOU girls? YOU ladies don't exctaly FALL OUT OF THE SKY THE LAST TIME I check. :)

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Thank you einna for the siggy :)

  • Feb 26, 2005

PikaMoon

PikaMoon

***star gazer***

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Yep yep yep. *nods head in agreement* Totally agree with what you said. Everything you said. There are real nice girls and guys out there. Everyone just tends to prefer the outgoing, popular, good looking person rather than the shy but beautiful-inside person. Meh..do you get what I mean? Unfortunately, the world isn't gonna really change. I mean, who's actually going to like someone who's just not as pretty as that guy/girl that's totally hot?! I mean, I admit, I do prefer good looking guys. Hmm...any good looking guys that are just shy but real sweet on the inside? Anyone? Cause if you are that guy, then let's get to know each other! ;) Lolz. Anyways, last comment. Good luck to everyone who's like me: shy, quiet, smart, genuine, sincere, kind-hearted, etc. Of course...I'm not really ALL of these things... XP

  • Feb 26, 2005

CLAMPchic

CLAMPchic

I'm just me

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I'm in the same boat as some of you...I'm by no means a perfect person, but I do tend to fit in the category of the "nice girls who finish last". I'm one of those girls that my guy friends will come to if they want advice with their own girlfriends, or an opinion about something. I'm happy to help them, and I'm glad they trust me enough to talk to me about it, but it's kind of weird, almost. Guys don't like me in a romantic sense, but I don't know that I can blame them for that. I mean, the only "date" I've been on was with my older brother...he took me to a movie, dinner, then laser-tagging (he's at college, so it was some one-on-one time while he was home). But like many of the other girls, I have plenty to be happy and grateful for...but it still irks me that society has ingrained into people that "nice" isn't "cool". I admire Celessa's point of view on this...wow, I'm just rambling now, so I'll stop after this last comment: Ayamael makes an interesting point with the "stud vs. slut" cheating issue...I never thought of that before.

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"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always be what you've always been." ~ Anonymous

  • Feb 26, 2005
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Quote by Ayamael Nice girls have similar problem as the oneâ??s Mordin pointed out for nice guys: girls that are shy, serious, and who may not be the prettiest or popular girl, yet are truly genuine, sincere, and kind-hearted are always left out. Guys will go for the hot chick that is outspoken, popular, flirty, and more open, etc but in the end, that girl is probably gonna dump them after finding someone else that is more "up-to-date" and more popular, so to speak...

Is that really true where you live? That's so sad...

I'm happy to say that I know a lot of couples who are not like that at all. A lot of the guys actually prefer the shyer, more conservative type...it's strange I know.

Does being an outspoken, popular and flirty girl really mean that others would think that you would dump a guy after you find someone else "better"? Flirting is all in good fun, and you can really create wonderful relationships that way. Personally I would never even consider playing a two week game.

i guess some girls are similar to your definition, but really, most of us that fit that description are not. Only thing I didn't understand.

- This Free Life Crisis -

Holt

Holt

pffft

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Quote by skysongAyamael is my hero! I have basically the same problem you do -_- I'm
not outspoken and flirty, and I seem to many times act as the advice
giver. Still, i have never been on a date...I work hard in school, and
I'm not a big party person, so guys put me into this 'smart girl'
category where I'm only good for helping people with school stuff...I
really hate that...I really don't consider myself all that smart, its
just that I feel it important to do well in school. But then I feel
labeled, and perhaps that puts guys off a bit, I don't really
know...hmmm...its so hard to understand! Thing is, I like helping
people as much as I can, and many guys don't want to be with a 'goody,
goody' but I can't help it if I'm a bit like that! I have always been
taught to respect people, and to be friendly...its just the way I am,
and I don't think I should have to change that.


You definitely shouldn't change. Be true to yourself. If a guy is intimidated by being with a good, smart girl, maybe he doesn't deserve you.

Quote by Celessalol
- hard to find, I agree. There's this friend of mine who fits the exact
same description. Everytime she says something, I notice how very kind
and sincere she is. Heck, she's my favorite friend in uni. right now.
We are like the true long lost sisters who reunited. Haha - so cool!
They are very difficult to find indeed. **Nods**


Really? I'd like to meet her. What's her number? hehheh just kidding.

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diamarrr

diamarrr

Does it matter?

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Quote by Ayamael
girls that are shy, serious, and who may not be the
prettiest or popular girl, yet are truly genuine, sincere, and
kind-hearted are always left out. Guys will go for the hot chick that
is outspoken, popular, flirty, and more open, etc but in the end, that
girl is probably gonna dump them after finding someone else that is
more "up-to-date" and more popular


well true for most ppl but id actually prefer the shy serious n.... than the *hot chicks* actually kinda hate these ppl same goes for the guy version of em... y cant these ppl haf a little heart for others .....is it that fun to hurt other people ....dont get them......i really despise ppl like that pains me to even talk bout them now so i'll stop

Quote by Holt
I myself would actually prefer someone who's quiet, kind and cute (not
"hot", cute). Unfortunately I've never met any such person.


totally agree with you on this...=D
dont give up hehe im sure each of us will find the rite 1

Ayamael dont worry there's nice guys like melmachine n mordin n me n ermmm many more hahaha dont give up =D

Iyasis

Iyasis

:: Crystal Winter ::

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I didn't run away.....that far ^_^' Hey, but I helped!

So looking through both yours & Mordin's threads, I guess we can conclude that generally, both nice girls and guys have it tough in 'today's dating scene'.

Quote by MordinNow all of that being said, my praise for all of you nice gals are
honest and true, but one question I got to get it out. HOW DO I find
you girls? YOU ladies don't exctaly FALL OUT OF THE SKY THE LAST TIME I
check. :)

Lol, I don't think anyone can answer that question, you'll just have to have hope and continue being yourself ^.~ And you never know, a nice girl might fall out of the sky, just remember to catch her! *gives Ayamael a parachute-pack and pushes her off the plane*

  • Feb 27, 2005
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Meh, I'm one of the people more inclined to quieter, less popular girls.
The popular girls I've seen tend to be ditzy, arrogant, and/or vain. I know it's not always accurate (so don't take offense Celessa and others :P), but popular girls who're always gossiping, joking, and chit-chatting come across as shallow to me. It seems like they're always preoccupied with their social life to do much thinking into deeper subjects. They give the impression that they're always doing things like applying makeup, wondering who's going out with who, matching clothes, and thinking of only things like, "Oh my God, Johnathon is like, such a hunk" or "Eww, no way, i'd never go out with Matt."
So in contast, the quiet girls seem like they're doing some thinking. They're interested in more than social acceptance, who the quarterback is going out with, and how long hair highlights last.

But then again what do I know. I've never actually admitted to a crush (they are afterall, only infatuations) or approached and asked a girl out (low self-esteem probably :sweat: ).

  • Feb 27, 2005

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