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Mordin

Mordin

The Wise One

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Well i guess it is a very strange question coming from me :) But I was wondering do you cry at all, because lately I am finding myself having difficulty to cry. I saw my old english teacher last week, and she told me she has cancer. It is in the late stages, and I haven't seen her since high school. :( Well I was surprise and shock, but I just can't seem to show my sadness. I felt so bad that I sound such cold hearted when I saw her in such miserable condition. It is like somehow I build a shield around myself to not get hurt by her news.

I haven't told anyone about this yet. I find my behavior very disgusting, because I seem to block it out completely when I talk to other people, act like nothing happen after my visit with her. I hold stuff in myself, and I never depend on anyone for my pains. So I am as cheerful as you see me everyday, so I guess my friends can't tell whether i am happy or not. I really respect and love this teacher, she was like a second mom to me. I keep this inside myself, I learned from a friend that I can share things with others especially sadness, thanks kel.

But I still can't express my sadness in the form crying for my teacher, I am at a lost right now to my emotion. I feel lousy, but I just can't cry. I will go see my teacher again this week, because she doesn't have much time remaining. I want to be with her, and I hope I can find within myself to show my emotion more. I am very angry at myself, because she means more than what I have shown her so far. Sorry for dumping all of this to you guys, but I need to let it out, and kel told me I won't be impolite if I do let my misery out sometimes to fellow friends.

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  • Mar 29, 2005

akari-chan

akari-chan

59 luv XD

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Yes, I do cry. Sometimes. I haven't cried recently yet. Sometimes when something is funny, I laugh so hard tears start to come out.

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kazuki05

Another supernumerary..

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I don't think crying is the only way of expressing sadness.. its only one of the physical signs of caring.. I'm sure your teacher knows that you are defintely affected by the news. You aren't a horrible person because you can't cry to show that you will truly miss them.. there are other ways.. I'm sure you've shown many towards her but aren't aware of them.

I completely understand the need to create a shield for yourself. Don't feel the need to force yourself to cry to show that you care.. given this saddening situation, tears will eventually come -- but even if it doesn't.. don't beat up yourself. As I said your teacher (since you both were very close at one point) knows that you do care deep inside.. I don't think she expects you to cry for her.

i do cry sometimes.. but I hold a lot of stuff in.. to be strong..? I have no clue. I remembered crying a lot when I was younger.. so now I'm really fighting back the habit.

I'm sorry to hear that such a terrible thing has happened.. and I hope you gather the strength to carry on one day. Spend lots of time with her and make tons of happy memories to cherish. (Eee.. >__> that sounded too cheesy)

"The stronger someone appears on the outside, the weaker they are in reality."

  • Mar 29, 2005
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there are other ways of expressing sadness other than crying...... the fact that you feel miserable will show through your expressions, it doesnt mean your cold-hearted or anything, not everyone is open and will cry in the presence of others. I cry easily but i do that alone, i try very hard not to cry if there is someone there....because i dont want others to see my weakness.
maybe its similar for you? :\

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  • Mar 29, 2005

Jinpun

Jinpun

The one and only

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Just because you aren't crying it doesn't mean that you are feeling the pain any less than any other given person. As kazuki said, crying is only the physical expression of ones sadness. Some people do it, others do not. As long as you convey to her your sadness, it won't matter whether or not you are cying...

Now I myself seem to have an inability to cry as well. I don't know why, I have deliberately tried watching sad things in order to invoke some sort of physical reaction but it doesn't seem to work. I'll keep trying though ^^...

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MadWiz

MadWiz

Student Slacker

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crying depends on my mood..
if I somehow feel very down and just am alone.. I will start thinking about my past and all the happy memories plus the sad ones
sometimes I just will cry over them.. when compared to the present.. sometimes I do make myself cry out
yet other times I also am unable to make myself cry out no matter how I try

like the others said, crying is just the physical expression.. and sometimes how we think do not match with how we react physically
stay with your teacher, she will know you care for her! and she will feel happy for that too.. it may also be better for her not to see you cry.. she may be saddened to see you cry too
in the end, believe your own mind! crying or not is nothing

I am glad you said what you had been keeping out.. do hope you feel better now..

  • Mar 29, 2005

Anjeile

Anjeile

Dancing In The Storm

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not crying for your teacher doesn't mean that u are cold-hearted. i had that experience too. i went to school one day and was told that my friend, who had leukemia, passed away. i too, was in shock and disbelief. i was sad, but no tears came out. i was wondering...why? why can't i show my emotions? can it be that i am heartless? even at her funeral, her friends cried for her, but i did not. then, i remembered that she said to me: u're the only true friend i have. i asked her why she said that. she said that it was because of her illness that no one dared come near her and some made fun of her, but i didn't. and she thanked me for being her friend and putting up with her short temper. after that passing memory, i still did not cry.

hey, just because u can't show ur feelings doesn't mean that u are cold-hearted. maybe it's just ur nature, maybe u are trying to be strong, maybe u don't want others to see u that way, or maybe u weren't brought up that way. but trust me, not being to let out ur emotions is far more painful than being able to, because it is trapped inside, and u have no way of letting it out.

so, if u can't show ur emotions, just show it thru ur actions. after all, actions do speak louder than words. don't give up just yet. just do what u can for ur teacher. i'm sure that she'll be able to see that u do care. ^^

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  • Mar 29, 2005

comprogrammer

comprogrammer

Changing in the Light

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its ok to cry i mean if you feel the need to, its just human emotion. theres nothing wrong with not crying though too cause it just means that you express yourself differently

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  • Mar 29, 2005
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I am a soft Kirk Hammett like person, but I have never cried for 4 years, even when I wanted to, couldn't let it out.

Hanazaki

Hanazaki

Current Anime: Hitman Reborn!

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i go with kazuki05.... my granpmother juz paz away a week ago.... i couldn't be by her side n i didn't see her face when she paz away.... i was working at dat tym... when she held her laz breath (dead already) my family send msg to me... i was shock n went back home ASAP but i didn't cry at 1st.... my fren comfort me dat night... hw concern of them....

when they put her in her coffin the next day... i cry so hard dat i couldn't stand... right now i feel so lost without her... aha.... well i'm staating to cry ryte now..... ehek....

nwz, cry doesn't mean show our sadnez... there's some ways to exprez our sadnez n other emotions..... as comprogrammer said...

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yes. i cry a lot

  • Mar 29, 2005
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I haven't cried for a long time... And I feel that I'm kinda cold hearted or something, one of the persons that I really don't care got a leukemia last year... My parents think that we're friends or something... Okay he used drugs and smoked a lot... And we're not in the high school yet! But i didn't feel a thing for him to go to the hospital where he still lies...
I'm not a angry person or emotionless but I really don't care about him..
I think this has something to do with my childhood....Which wasn't unhappy or something, but i've fought a lot with my brothers and sometimes knives came into the action too or something like that.. But now I haven't fighted with my brothers for a year or something like that....

Boo-Yah!

  • Mar 29, 2005

crsg

crsg

Artemis

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everyone cries sometime, but i know what you mean about finding it difficult to. im sure ive cried many times in my life even though i cant remember them all, but its often a long time between things. i kow that the last time i really cried (as in more than one or two tears) was about 4 years ago.

mdntdragon

mdntdragon

Dark Dragon---Ruler of the night

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I often find it hard to cry,but there are times that it seems to happen almost unbidden. I do have dificulty showing my emotions too. Its too easy to get hurt when you show feelings that some call weakness.

On leathern wings and with fiery breath, I descend upon you!

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HELL no XD

  • Mar 29, 2005

vieovis

vieovis

And again I am alone

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i havent cried for a long time but go talk to her for as long as possible and really keep in mind that these are your last moments with her and eventually something will probibly come up cause if you dont you will regret it(<- not ment as a threat but as advise from personal expierience)

Every time that I'm alone
I'm pulled to the fire
Why is the sun round
Why don't I get healthy

  • Mar 29, 2005

jackie-lyn

jackie-lyn

Non-Chinese-speaking Chinese

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Wow, that's really sad. I'm touched. Sometimes, I'm like you as well, not being able to let out my feelings and just keep it to myself. As a result, no one really knows the real me.

On to your question, yes, I do cry...when I watch sad and touching scenes on TV. In real life though, I cried when my aunty (who I'm very close with) left Malaysia and migrated to US. That was more than 10 years ago. She came to visit my family and I earlier this year and I was really glad. She has health problems, which is scary whenever I think about it. Before she left, both of us made a promise to keep in touch, 'cause (probably) she may not be able to visit us anymore. Thinking about it now, I wanna cry... T_T

Thanks for sharing your problem with us. PM me if you wanna talk about it further. Really happy to help out :)

Movin'...

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i don't think you're cold-hearted! it's not because you doesn't cry that you're not hurt or sad !!! people have differents ways to express their feelings. i'm the crying type. concerning me, i can't stay without telling someone what causing me pain, trouble or other feelings as well... i can't keep them because if i do not say it loud and keep them for myself, it's overhelming me, it drives me to deep despair. and i fall into darkeness... it's a very difficult state to pass: believe me! my personality often goes to "depression" (the word is too much but i can't find another one) without knowing precisely why and it's terribly frustrating... maybe your pain is far from the standard of "sadness"!!! my grand-father is dead last year, i was very close to him and when i learned it, i bearly cry... i don't conceive/realize his death. so, i don't cry much... i think you don't have to worry about that. we all wear masks that we put before other but only people who know you understand you're way of expressing you're feelings.

"The third principle of sentient life is the capacity for self-sacrifice, the conscious ability to override evolution and self-preservation for a cause, a friend, a loved one." Quote from Babylon V

  • Mar 29, 2005

Stolen

Stolen

*~*Burning Wings*~*

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Dude, I know what you mean. I am of two worlds - one day I can be very emotional, very upsetting, and I can cry for hours over the littlest of things. But for weeks on end, I can find myself being very dulled by what I hear, and not really having it sink in...not letting it affect me.

I think it depends on what you get used to. There have been (and I don't want to sound morbid) so many deaths from my family. When my friends grandad died a couple of months ago, I felt absolutely no compassion, and when I hugged her, I couldn't think about it - not because it was sad, but because I had no interest in caring about it. My entire apathetic gene came out, and although she was crying like mad, and it would have been a moment I would cry too, I couldn't. I just had no interest.

Same as when accidents happen - I've seen car accidents, and have been in two minor ones myself. And (not sounding morbid again) the last time I saw this motorcycle get hit (because he swung out in front of a car) and the whole accident unveiled in front of my eyes, there was no emotion. Maybe a jump of shock, but I felt no compassion for what just happened. I didn't stay either, many people were trying to help, and I moved on. I know that makes me sound like now, I didn't care if he died, but there was help and the ambulance passed me as i continued to walk...he was in good hands. Unfortunately, it was in the newspaper, and he had unfortunately died from his sustained injuries. Even when I read that, I didn't care, or feel anything.

Maybe sometimes life is just life, you realise and understand that these things happen. My mum had cancer just as your teacher has, and I never knew anything about it, until we visited her in hospital and she had managed to get it removed somehow. I don't know anything more about it than that.

But, to say I'm not caring at all, is a lie. Because I care deeply about my friends and family, and this state of mind is not all the time. Before I left uni for the easter holidays, I was somehow so unhappy over stuff, that I sat in my car at the end of the day and cried my heart out. Because maybe, by being apathetic, you make yourself depressed when it comes to things.

Or maybe tears just build up, slowly, festering themselves until you just need that 'good old cry' that your friends talk about when say, you've just split up your relationship with a loved one.

i cry ^^ and even if it was a matter of feeling ashamed about crying, I'd still cry - in private, in secret, where no one would hear me...because I don't think I could never ever stop crying, even if I had managed to dull myself out to everything around me and effecting me.

Stolen-chan
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*~* Please Don't Leave - Believe Me *~*

AngelKate

AngelKate

~*Lady Sweetness*~

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I'm a serious baby...I cry all the time over practically everything. There's nothing wrong with crying though, its just a way to express emotion.

Go spend time with your teacher, she might need you right now, and I'm sure that even if you don't show it well, she knows you care about her, because you are taking the time to go see her.

I don't always cry when I need to either. My grandpa passed away not too long ago and I was very sad at his funeral, but I didn't cry. I don't know why, but when someone dies, I'm always very sad, but I just don't show it. So its not a bad thing if you don't show emotion. I guess it just kinda depends on the situation.

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Not really walling much anymore D: Feel free to browse my gallery, though!
Thank you for the siggy and avy, Kitten! ^_^

gemini4life

gemini4life

The Quiet Geezer

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I think you just haven't had a reason to cry yet, please don't think I'm saying you haven't been through tough times, because I'm sure you had your share of those times, what I'm trying to say is that you haven't had an experience where tears are called for for you specifically.

Personally I hear more about women's tears more and how special they are, I can agree wtih them, since I don't want to see a women cry and will try to comfort her and ease those tears, but recognize there are times it's important for her to just let it out.

Because of this thought I've actually put some thought into the tears of a guy. From my experience with guys tears, I think those are very special, because quite frankly they are so rare. I personally can count up the number of times I've cried on my two hands. As for my dad who's a very traditional tough guy, I've seen him cry twice in my lifetime and that's 24 years now.

For me personally almost every occasion I've cried has to do with helplessness. I'm really stubborn and will give my very all to everything and refuse to quit, also I also want to make others happy too. So rarely ever show my emotions and for sure don't show my tears. Living this way leaves very little room for tears, but like I've said the times that tears have come have been when I'm helpless. It's when I've really given everything and poured my heart and soul into something I believe, but still can't succeed. In that one moment, the tears come, because it's the only thing left in me... each tear I shed is like an apology to the ones I love that I couldn't succeed for them... each tear is out of love.

The last time I cried was for my family and work related.... My parents have struggled all their lives to make a living and brighten my future... *phew... even typing this is watering my eyes* and when I see them struggling financially or worrying about me and there really isn't anything I do.... I'm so sad, and so sorry that there is nothing more I can do to make them feel better. It tears me a part.... and the tears flow. These are rare moments, but I treasure them all, because it reminds me that I'm human and allows me to forgive myself too.... I'm no God and it's okay. Just pick yourself back up and there's always tomorrow.... the best thing is that I realize when I cry is this VERY important fact... I'm one of the luckiest men alive, because there are people in this world that love me so much that can elicit such a powerful emotion as crying.

It's not that I have better vision
It's that I open my heart to that which others turn a blind eye to

  • Mar 29, 2005
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yes i cry, when watching romance/drama anime/manga

  • Mar 29, 2005

sadbird

A soul has many deep secrets

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i cry a lot, from watching movies, fighting with friends, getting horrible marks, and lots of other stuff, i cry a lot, at least 2 times a day!!!! especially on tuesdays, it is my nightmare day! but maybe you couldn't cry because at first you was shocked and very surprised that you couldn't believe it. my friend also had cancer and when she told me i couldn't cry because i still didn't get used to it yet. maybe that's the same thing about you. good luck and never think that you are cold-hearted because this is a weakness in every person. :)

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equinox01

equinox01

Lost In Darkness

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it seems that now I can no longer cry but when i am sad I just fall on the floor in my room and curl up in a ball nad try to cry

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I don' Like myself much
Shadow

  • Mar 29, 2005

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