Should children be hit as a form of punishment?

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unicorn2006

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Many parents refuse to hit their kids for a variety of reasons. Many parents still do hit their own children. I personally have tasted the 'discipline of parental love', so to speak.. And I know of other people whose worst punishment was being 'grounded' for a few days.

What's the best way to deal with a disobedient child?

Is it okay for parents to hit their own child as a form of punishment? (NOT as in violently beating your kid to a pulp, obviously that's bad)

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  • May 04, 2005
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Violence is not nessesary to discipline a child.
Though I think it would be applicable for some adults though....

  • May 04, 2005

fooblued

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I think like most things it is a matter of the individual and excessiveness is also a problem. I was smacked (not hard or anything) and spanked, I think it helped me to grasp boundries and punishment better. But like I said it is really a matter of the individual child. No child should be abused and there is a world of difference between the two. I also think that the way children behave today is a lack of interaction between children and parents. Punishment is a huge part of that, too many parents try to bargain good behavior out of thier children with rewards and nothing else and that makes for a rather sick mentality later in life ie: "If I don't get just what I want I can act any way I want" Small punishments reaffirm that society expects a level of behavior and that civilized behavior is not optional.

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It dependends on the severity of the disobedience. But I for one am a firm believer in span king if it is for the right reason, and always on the bottom never anywhere else.

  • May 04, 2005

levezzali

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Hm... I dunno, I had the love and the hit in my family ... well, anyway, I think that there's time for each one, not that hiting little kids with a belt is the best way to give'm the proper education, but I think a hit often (like... once in six months) is ok, cause you get - at least in my case - the kid that feeling that if he/she does something bad he/she could get a hit or two from the parents.... besides, I would prefer to get a beat from my father rather then listening to his 2 hour speechs... : P But actually talking has like, mostly solved problems around my home, and I guess that's the best way to educate... Or at least I think that you can't always be too good to your children, neither too bad, or they'll get the bad example from craddle :sweat:

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1mm0rt4l

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Interesting topic.. I'd have to say maybe, it all depends on what they have done and the maturity/age of the child

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  • May 04, 2005
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i don't think they should
the kid will never learn like that, they will never realize what they did wrong
i'm against that

  • May 04, 2005

Darky

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nooo!!! don't HIT THE POOR kid!!!! Ground him away from the computer or TV or somethin'! JUST don't HIT him!!!

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  • May 04, 2005

valiantzero

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I think there is a time for tough love, but I would only go so far as spanking. Nevertheless I would only leave that punishment for something that is really bad and not something minor.

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unicorn2006

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Quote by fooblued too many parents try to bargain good behavior out of thier children with rewards and nothing else and that makes for a rather sick mentality later in life ie: "If I don't get just what I want I can act any way I want" Small punishments reaffirm that society expects a level of behavior and that civilized behavior is not optional.


^^ ha~ yea i agree with you on this one

Quote by Hellknighti don't think they should
the kid will never learn like that, they will never realize what they did wrong
i'm against that


i dunno.. regular indiscriminate hitting is bad, but will the kid really never learn..?

"Faith means believing in something that will only make sense in reverse."
"When men are the most sure and arrogant they are commonly the most mistaken..."

  • May 04, 2005
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I'm glad I got hit (but not abused) as a kid. When you're a kid you're too pig-headed to understand most punishment, but a little pain is something any kid can understand. Send a kid to his room and all he will do is fume about how he's right and you're just mean and shouldn't be obeyed. That's not the lesson he needs to learn and you're setting him/her up for poor relations later in life. THAT is what makes a bad parent - because in effect, you're not sticking up for him in his challenge to develop critical life reasoning - right vs wrong, mine vs yours, etc.

Spanking is not abuse and shouldn't be lumped in with the idiot scumbag parents who punch their kids or use makeshift beatsticks on them.

  • May 04, 2005

ChosenEntity

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I dunno. It depends on who the kid is and how mature/old they are. The whole 'lets talk it over' thing sounds like the better way to go, but I know what a short attention span younger kids have, and I know that it never really worked on me. Still dosen't. ^^; Maybe there's a balance between the two?


... And I agree with LinearX. Especially about the whole sending a kid to their room. I was exactly like that. Isolating a kid to make them 'think about what they did wrong' doesn't work with anyone I've ever known. I still don't know what you should do instead though...

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  • May 04, 2005

Rizy123

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Indeed I'm happy that i did get hit when i did somehting v.bad..
I am against abuse of course, and repeated psanking is abusive, onli at the corect time and the way it is to be handled has 2 be done carefully...potentialy a good method and potentially life crushing method..

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  • May 04, 2005

Chickomon

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I agree with LinearX here. Spanking is good, but only in the right conitions. Spanking a child b/c they broke something by accident is wrong, spanking them bc they did it on purpose could be ok. Um, spanking a child for stealing is a yes, spanking for screaming and uch is bad.

There are other ways to punish a child. Make them stand in a corner with their hands held above their heads is a good alternative. If you sending a kid to his/her room, all they'll do is play, and eventually they will never listen to you. and so on and so forth...

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  • May 04, 2005

Haia

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I'm against it but if it's that bad.........what the child has done.....maybe..I dunno...but then again.........if they turn to the bad verbal way of settling things........that is just a big no-no....i know first hand what happens when parents uses that....I know someone who have such and it's not such a pretty sight.......still they're alot of different kind of kids there...I can't really have an answer for this...

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sjolley

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I believe that a child should only be spanked. I actually have not been hit since I was six, because that time I started to bleed. Now all I get is a lecture. I think that hitting a child hurts them too bad psychologically, but I also think that just a lecture for something extreme is not enough.

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  • May 04, 2005

thecatmistress

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Quote by foobluedI think like most things it is a matter of the individual and excessiveness is also a problem. I was smacked (not hard or anything) and spanked, I think it helped me to grasp boundries and punishment better. But like I said it is really a matter of the individual child. No child should be abused and there is a world of difference between the two. I also think that the way children behave today is a lack of interaction between children and parents. Punishment is a huge part of that, too many parents try to bargain good behavior out of thier children with rewards and nothing else and that makes for a rather sick mentality later in life ie: "If I don't get just what I want I can act any way I want" Small punishments reaffirm that society expects a level of behavior and that civilized behavior is not optional.

well said. she`s right you know. i have gotten beaten several times, for i was young and irresponsible... but getting beaten showed me to learn respect, and showed a rightful sense of discipline. no parent i believe should hit there child. it leaves terrible scars, not only physically but emotionally too....

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  • May 04, 2005
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I think for alot of parents it's a quick, easy, and effective way out. It takes alot more effort to explain to the child why what they did is wrong and try to get them to understand. I agree with Rizy123.. that form of punishment can have good or bad effects. Many things need to be taken into account, it's different for everyone. However, it's really important that no such punishment is doled out to a child that is too young though. I've seen that done before. Extremely stupid.

  • May 04, 2005
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An extreme version of what happens when a child learns that there are no real consequences for selfish and negative actions:

Video:
http://www.sptimesphotos.com/video/classroom.shtml

Story:
http://www.sptimes.com/2005/04/22/Southpinellas/Video_shows_police_ha.shtml

Keep in mind that the kid has had the police called on her by her mother before. Whether the mom (who seems sue-happy, admittedly) has the right to sue or not is not the case in point here. Rather, I show this simply as an example of how bad things can get with kids who do not understand verbal warnings and do not remorse the pain they cause for others. Bad parenting results in a member of society who will not only be unhappy themselves, but spread a lot of ill will among the people who have the misfortunate to be around them.

It's sad, but some people never develop any reason not to cheat and harm others other than that there are negative consequences for themselves. The question you have to ask yourself is will that be your kid? I have better plans for mine when that day comes.

And again, parents who draw a reasonable, well-defined line that when crossed results in spanking are NOT bad or abusive. Common sense (however uncommon it may be) needs to be used in administering punishment. Just sending a kid to their room for egging a house is -not- using common sense.

  • May 04, 2005

Norimune

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I don't think hiting a child is a result of a search for a form of punishment but the result of a parent with a lack of patience...
that's whay I always say people you first approve an exam before becoming parents. And this evaluation must include a prove that they can support their children (economicaly speaking). the world would be a better place to live, spetially for the young ones... T_T

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  • May 04, 2005

unicorn2006

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Quote by LinearX
And again, parents who draw a reasonable, well-defined line that when crossed results in spanking are NOT bad or abusive. Common sense (however uncommon it may be) needs to be used in administering punishment. Just sending a kid to their room for egging a house is -not- using common sense.


point well said ^^ although I'd like to say that spanking/hitting (I'm not really distinguishing between the two, some people seem to) isn't the way to go, I don't really know if that's realistic. There are those angelic little kids that don't ever do anything to elicit spanking, but most kids in my opinion needs a bit of shaking up. Hitting your kid too often is bad as it will probably increase their spanking-tolerance level, but using it smartly on occasion isn't a bad thing.. i think..

"Faith means believing in something that will only make sense in reverse."
"When men are the most sure and arrogant they are commonly the most mistaken..."

  • May 04, 2005
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Hellll yeah!

A swat set me straight faster than any parent-to-child conversation did.
A swat stopped me from doing whatever it was that got me swatted immediately.
A swat stopped me from doing whatever it was that got me swatted in the future.
A swat never really hurt, but I cried anyway.

I don't see anything wrong with hitting a child. I'm cautious about slaps across the face (reserved for the most extreme cases of foul language in a two year old) but there's nothing wrong with spanking. I hear a lot of crap about it teaching a child how to be violent, and I hear more crap about talking to your child is showing them "respect" and teaching them a better lesson.

Personally, I never paid two shits when an adult attempted to talk to me about something I did wrong. If I was swinging on a tree and was being told not to, I wouldn't stop. But once that hand enters the game, I stop. Ooo, do I ever.

Double personally, I always thought an adult who would try to talk to me was "weak".

Triple it, I got spanked, but yet I'm not violent.

It's the current phase, parents are being brainwashed by morons like Dr. Phil and home magazines telling them that it's wrong to hit a child. If you want to raise a brat, go right ahead. Children can't compromise properly, and they have relatively short attention spans. They're not going to sit through a 20 minute lecture about why it's bad to beat up their little brother. Oh, sure, they'll sit through it literally- you're forcing them too - but ask them to repeat what you just said a half hour later and you'll get a bunch of "ums" and "uhs".

Cadi

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I think that parents shouldn't hit kids for their obience. I mean they are just kids, they don't know what to do. They way to do it, is to let them have enough fun but still let them understand that sometimes its not okay to do things.

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  • May 04, 2005

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Quote by unicorn2006Many parents refuse to hit their kids for a variety of reasons. Many parents still do hit their own children. I personally have tasted the 'discipline of parental love', so to speak.. And I know of other people whose worst punishment was being 'grounded' for a few days.

What's the best way to deal with a disobedient child?

Is it okay for parents to hit their own child as a form of punishment? (NOT as in violently beating your kid to a pulp, obviously that's bad)

Studies have shown that children do not often retain the message of the punishment, only the memory. This means that kids often forget what they were suppose to learn and remember only the pain their parents caused them. Plus, hitting someone is usually a sign of lack of control and certainly a serious violation to human dignity. Children respond much better to seriousness, honesty, and loss of respect in their parent's eyes a lot more than physical violence...

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