I think you should hit kids if they deserve it, you learn a lot faster from pain.
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"I contend we are both atheists, I simply believe in one less deity than you do. When you understand why you reject the others, you will know why I reject yours."
Razom nas bahato - nas ne podolaty!- Sep 21, 2005
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Why should a person hit a child to make a point?
Is that how an adult should make a point to a fellow peer?
No. I don't think so.
"Adults" seem to have this wonderful idea that children are lesser people than they and that in order to make their point they have to threaten them with physical violence. Riiiiight.
I've been physically abused by "adults" who clearly THOUGHT that their punishments were just. Bullshit. Adults expect their children not to hit them if they disagree, but if a child does something unfavorable they get spanked?
WTF. If you maintain a degree of verbal discipline, not shouting or degrading, with a child they should maintain thier own degree of self-discipline as a result.
Give a child responsibility and reasons for wanting to behave. Not rewards, but simple facts. Such as: If you stop wasting my time with your arguing about taking a bath we'll have more time to play.
Not exactly in those words, but the point is there. CHILDREN ARE NOT STUPID.
They are immature. And rightly so, hitting them for it isn't going to change the fact that they haven't matured yet...it will just make them afraid to do anything offensive and they'll grow up trying to please without thinking why.
I've ranted...and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, but this is a touchy subject for me. I meant to be more objective...but oh well. :)
The following statement is true.
The above statement is false."The unconcious mind may include all man's past; but it also includes all his future." - Colin Wilson
- Nov 04, 2005
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Dunno really, I don't think it's right to hit anyone, But some kids only know disipline through the fear of pain.
- Nov 04, 2005
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i think kids should definitely receive some beating. this is often referred to as beating of love in korea. no pansy talks that don't solve anything, especially when children reach teenage period, where they think they are the smartest people alive. these type of arrogance pose a threat not only to the harmony of the family, but to society as a whole and therefore, it must be pulled out of its roots before it becomes too firmly settled in.
when i was 13, i yelled at my dad because he lightly smacked me in front of all my friends when i accidentally exposed camera film out to the sun. later on in the car he gave me a blast of a fist backhand right at my face while he was driving. then at home, he beat me with a kendo practice sword. my arm swelled about twice its size. this is a guy who praticed taekwondo until he earned a teaching degree. a true martial artist. a real athlete. he didn't even look at me for 3 days, nor even acknowledge my existance. i had to eat alone because i was afraid he would beat my ass if i showed up in the dinner table. when i finally begged for forgiveness, he made me right 10 page essay on what i did wrong and what i should never do ever again. from there, i realized respecting your elders always comes first. i never raised my voice at him again, and i always show respect towards my elder.
some children are stupider than others. they dont know whats wrong or whats right, and some of them are crazy enough to think that they stand on same level as they're parents. WRONG. these people provide you food, shelter, and love. they give you xbox and playstations for christmas, while you give them a dinky card with crayola saying how much you love them. if you piss them off by doing something wrong, beating their ass is totally legit - how dare they go out of line when the parents do so much for their kids? ungrateful little brats. only physical abuse can leave a permanent mark on helping them realize that premarital sex is wrong, playing with fire and gasoline is wrong, cheating on tests is wrong, watching hentai is wrong, and eating rice with milk is wrong.
parents these days are way too soft. grounding kids? what the heck is that gonna do? kids are just gonna sulk and listen to linkin park and read comic books or go on the internet. boohoo. what punishment. physical abuse is the best way for young kids to learn that you mean business, and if you stray out of line, you pay the fine. i mean, this is the law of society, so they mind as well learn it now, instead of screwing up and pissing everybody off in the real world later on.
future note: you have to beat your kids until they realize they are in for a deep shit if they remain angry with you. beat them in to submission, until they cry for mercy if you want your beating to take effect. otherwise, they will just rebound with even more angst.
in short, beating kids help them understand that they are not the only human beings in this world that matters. it is for their own good.
- Nov 04, 2005
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I firmly belive in spankings to punish children, but as they get older they realize that the spankings aren't that bad and the punishment is quick so then they can go back to there normal lives. When they reach that state then they should be grounded. I do not think that the spankings should be hard enough to where the child gets brused or scratched, but the spankings should make them think twice before doing anything wrong. Also in order to enforce the right morals the parents need to explain the reason why they are being punished and what they should do next time. It is also a good idea for parents to just spend time with there children so the child won't get mixed up in the wrong crowd. The child may complain and whine along the way but the end result is worth all of the pain to get there.
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- Nov 04, 2005
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NO...it's just wrong! >_< I seriously didn't know what to say when I saw my friend all bruised up and she told me it was her mom (my mom and her friends secretly opposed it too). It was sick...but you know...our parents are immigrants from China where it's okay to abuse your children to "teach them respect."
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- Nov 04, 2005
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Hell no.
Nothing gives a parent the right to hit a child. In my opinion, children dont learn from being hit. If my parents hit me, all it would do is make me angry. My parents never hit me much, but wen they did, i would just stare at them with this evil look in my eyes. They would just walk away without saying a word. Beside, it dosnt even hurt wen they do hit me
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- Nov 04, 2005
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I don't believe so.
Sure it'll knock some sense into them, but that's kind of bad to me. I believe those who are punished like that won't really respect their parents, but fear them. The only reason they'd obey again is because they fear being hit, and fear isn't a good thing last I checked.
I feel it's like treated people like dogs. You just hit them and they obey, and that's not right. There are plenty of other solutions.
For example, you could just ground the child and that usually works. Make the punishment tough though. Like taking away their little game systems.
Most children these days are upsessed with vg's, who could blame them. But make sure it's reasonably all at the same time.
A good talk with children can also make them understand.
So the way I see it, violence is bad, and there are other resolutions to disobedience. .::nod,nod::. ;)'
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Quote by kaisui1tatsuI firmly belive in spankings to punish children, but as they get older they realize that the spankings aren't that bad and the punishment is quick so then they can go back to there normal lives. When they reach that state then they should be grounded. I do not think that the spankings should be hard enough to where the child gets brused or scratched, but the spankings should make them think twice before doing anything wrong. Also in order to enforce the right morals the parents need to explain the reason why they are being punished and what they should do next time. It is also a good idea for parents to just spend time with there children so the child won't get mixed up in the wrong crowd. The child may complain and whine along the way but the end result is worth all of the pain to get there.
I'm not too sure if I posted in this thread before (and if I did, I could give it another round). I agree with this method. The ways that the parents were raised often have an impact on the things their children can or cannot do and the way the parents respond to the actions of their children. There are parents who are completely strict about their children and won't let them get away with anything while there are other parents who are certainly easygoing on their children and let them escape with their actions. It all depends on the parent. My parents at one point hit me as punishment, and it didn't feel good, that's for certain. ^_^'
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It's punishment, not abusing. People need to learn the difference. I think that it should be allowed.
A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
-Albert Einstein- Nov 04, 2005
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dun think so.. first of all, it's a bad example to your children, and one day, they might do it to their children too.. and i think, even if your children obey you, it's maybe because they are afraid to be hit again, not because they really know that 'it's not good to do it', or because they respect you..
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- Nov 04, 2005
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tough subject... i'm not even sure where i stand on it... i'd be tempted to say no... but i know if i ever get a child that i'll eventually lose patience and use spanking to correct them if what they do wrong is either very serious (stealing, beating other ppl...) or if they do it repeatedly without showing any signs of understanding what it is they're doing wrong... i guess i'll be just like mom, i just hope i'll be a little less scary ^_^'
i don't think a little spanking (without actually bruising the child) for something really serious will truly damage a kid... i mean, if they can't take that, they'll have a very hard time facing life, coz' often, its realities are much more than just a little slap in the face... of course, i do believe it should only be used as a last resort and if everything else doesn't work... But, maybe this form of punishment should be only used with older kids (maybe junior high age or something) who have a sense of right and wrong and who should be able to know that what they did was against important values such as respect, equality and so on... i mean, that's when they should understand the real impact of their acts...
some people will argue that they should learn before that, but kids under a certain age just don't have any sense of right or wrong, they just imitate for the most part, and if you give them the wrong example it's basically your fault... well, it's what i think anyways ^_^'
- Nov 04, 2005
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Well, physical punishment was banned from schools for a reason, right? And hicks are called like this because teachers in some countryside schools insisted on using hickory sticks to illegally punish children at school, right?
Physical punishment is not good at all. It only causes pain, agony, anger, fear, frustration and all kinds of intense emotions that can hurt the mind the big one. Plus, scolding is enough, by experience. Or at least if your parents are versed in the art of emotional blackmail, like mine.
Quote by Ayamael some people will argue that they should learn before that, but kids under a certain age just don't have any sense of right or wrong, they just imitate for the most part, and if you give them the wrong example it's basically your fault... well, it's what i think anyways
That's right. Well, in kindergarten they do have a sense of what's wrong and what's not. Only it's more rudimentary than our sense of ethics at age 18. Example: ask a little kid if it's OK to steal your dad's wallet, and he'll say "No". Why? "Because they'll shout me" or "They'll spank me".Quote by people from the Irrompibles forumsDaedalus: i can imagine Rince's mangas
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Listening: Vengaboys - We Like to Party (The Vengabus)- Nov 04, 2005
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i used to get beat up by my step mom =.= so personally i dont hit my children if i ever have one
- Nov 04, 2005
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Sometimes it is all that gets through to them.
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- Nov 04, 2005
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Hmm...NO! NO! Dammit...stupid bloody parents hitting their kids...how'd they like it getting smacked...i believe you can talk it out with a kid...that is if u havent already hit him/her...if u have it might be harder...cuz the kid dont respect his/her parent...if the parent tries to reason, the kid will realise that his parents are not bad, that they have the patience to talk it out with him/her...As one who gets beaten by my father...well, it sucks O_O...
merged: 11-04-2005 ~ 04:26pm
Quote by TimCHellWhy should a person hit a child to make a point?
Is that how an adult should make a point to a fellow peer?
No. I don't think so.
"Adults" seem to have this wonderful idea that children are lesser people than they and that in order to make their point they have to threaten them with physical violence. Riiiiight.
I've been physically abused by "adults" who clearly THOUGHT that their punishments were just. Bullshit. Adults expect their children not to hit them if they disagree, but if a child does something unfavorable they get spanked?
WTF. If you maintain a degree of verbal discipline, not shouting or degrading, with a child they should maintain thier own degree of self-discipline as a result.
Give a child responsibility and reasons for wanting to behave. Not rewards, but simple facts. Such as: If you stop wasting my time with your arguing about taking a bath we'll have more time to play.
Not exactly in those words, but the point is there. CHILDREN ARE NOT STUPID.
They are immature. And rightly so, hitting them for it isn't going to change the fact that they haven't matured yet...it will just make them afraid to do anything offensive and they'll grow up trying to please without thinking why.
I've ranted...and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, but this is a touchy subject for me. I meant to be more objective...but oh well. :)
Wow nice understanding of this topic ^^
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- Nov 04, 2005
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Whatever the reason is, hitting is painful. it is painful to your victim, and it is painful to your own hand, even if you hit them with something else, and each person have different tolerance in term of pain.
Some take it lightly and live with it, some take it very deeply, some even devastated because of it, and unfortunately we will never know what you make your victim becomes, even with a single hit. Heart and mind cannot be seen or predicted.
I believe there are just many wiser way to communicate (or teach or whatever) other than by delivering pain.
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Well it's a subject we can debate for long.
Personally, I don't think parents should hit their children ... immediately.
They should at first explain to their children why something is bad and why they shouldn't do this. Children are not stupid, just saying 'no' won't be enough and they won't see why it is forbidden so they would do it anyway. But if they clearly understand why it is forbidden, they won't do it. Of course, it depends on the parents' authority toward children. A parent must not give up to his children's whims, he/she must show his/her children he/she is the one the children must listen to.
But of course, parents musn't forget to love their children. Children must feel that they are loved by their parents.So hitting them is not a solution, but it could be a way to install a communication (hitting them but not destroying them of course to make them listen to you then explaining clearly why)
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Hope to see you soon.- Nov 04, 2005
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it's difficult to say.though some kids refuse to get a point in unless you hit them or something.but i think that it depends on the situation.
- Nov 04, 2005
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I dont see a parent hitting their kid as an abuse... Yes parents should hit their children... Parents these days dont do it coz they feel sorry and then end up having a spoiled brat i see it all the time... When i was lil my parents gave me a beating everytime i would do something wrong and that made me in the person i am today... I know what is right and what is wrong and most ppl dont... I have read here that children only remember the pain... I think that is not true i knew exactly why did my dad hit me when i do something wrong... Its all about the parent why does he hit his child... If the child knows that he done something wrong he will remember it and if the child gets beaten for falling down or something absurd as that that is an abuse... I have seen parents who start hitting their kids when they cry... They hit them to shut them up but they cry even harder...
You should hit your kids but only when there is a reasonable explanation for it and kids are not that stupid...EDIT: You cannot give a child responcibilities! We are talking about small kids not teenagers! A child does not yet know the values of society or morality... You cannot leave a child make decisions on his own thats why parents are here.
Talking about teenagers it is stupid to hit them bubut i dont know whats the idea of grounding it? <_< It never worked on me... A teenages of 13-18 years old cannot make reasonable judgements for that is the age when he should make serious decisions and without the help of parents he cannot decide right...Captain of the 1st devision in [MicroTokyo] group
- Nov 04, 2005
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It would perhaps depend on tradition and their ethnic background. Of course I dont want to see children suffer but sometimes theres a line between obedience and going a bit too far. Usually parents should raise their children to be good honest people, however as many can see this isn't easy and children will often do as they pleased if they dont recieve the correct punishment. If they were well brought up then very little problems occur between parents and their children, but lack of respect and authority can result in greater problems later in life.
Parents are seen as role models so they should consider how their children see them, hence they should ensure that they should teach and raise them to become good citizens. This issue of whether to hit children or not as a punishment will remain a big topic over many years to come, unless we have more laws to sort this out, parents will have to choose what punishment their children should recieve for thei bad behaviour.There's meaning in everything that happens in the unseen future,
So stay as you are for now, I know there'll come a time when you realize it.
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- Nov 04, 2005
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No, they should not hit their children. In Norway its forbidden to spank your child on the bum (In Norway thats against the law).
If you hit your children, they will start to fear you. And out of that fear, they only think "oh I should not do those things, my dad/mom will hit me for it".You who got spanked think you respected your parents? No, respect was never in the picture - but fear of getting punished was.
Kids dont learn the reason for (nor will they care) why they should not be doing something wrong/bad. The only thing they will think of is the aftermath and then refrain from doing it. Its not a GOOD THING and never will be, to fear your parents.In recent research and pedagogy this is confirmed. So to all of you who say there is nothing wrong in hitting your child, you should all read up on recent research - cause you are damaging your child in so many ways.
If you still claim hitting a child is the best way - then you are unintelligent and ingnorant and should be removed from your parental rights cause what you are doing is actually child abuse.I study child pedagogy in university and after being educated in the recent research I know very well what I'm talking about.
To read that so many of you are for spanking is really scary reading, you guys know so little apparently about the childrens mental and emotional damages of being punished in such manor. Those of you who think such punishment is good, need education. Cause by the looks of certain threads here - there is really no sign of intelligence behind those words or even a smidge of education on this matter.
I'm actually disgusted by some posts here.I'm well aware that in ASIAN countries children are being hit very much - and its really sad. Asian countries are still very stuck in their ways, but in western countries the research has come so far and development will surely reach Asia too some time.
Children learn MUCH better from understanding the reasons behind why the should not be doing bad/wrong things. It should be explained to them in ways they can undertand and grasp.
They understand MUCH earlier in their age then you guys claim they do - research has shown that Extensively!To sammo - I never read such a horrifying post before in my life. If you want - I can post extensive research on why YOU SHOULD NOT beat your kids at all (or in the manor you are describing). If you lived in Norway and did that, You'd be in jail before you even raised your hand at your kid.
- Nov 04, 2005
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Personally, I believe corporal punishment is an acceptable way to discipline a child provided it is not done excessively and commensurate with the misbehaviour, misdemeanor, etc. If the misbehaviour is sufficiently severe to warrant a severe spanking (with a rattan cane, etc.), then by all means, do so.
However, mere beating is insufficient but the cause of the punishment must be told. IOW, the child/teen will remember the pain + the reason why he got punished in the 1st place. Repeated occurence of the same behaviour will result in the same punishment if not greater. To draw a parallel, even as adults - are we actually law-abiding citizens out of our own volition or do we toe the line due to our subconcious fear of punishment or disapproval by the society? More likely the latter than the former.
Tough love is magnitudes different from idiotic abusive parents. It is always administered with reason and compassion behind it, harsh as it may be. Conformity to societal norms also play a role in the forms of punishment a parent may mete out on the child/teen - depending on society, some forms of behaviour may be an outright "no no" compared to a "meh" in other society.
There. That's my 2c. Take it as you will.
- Nov 04, 2005
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Quote by Sumomo-No, they should not hit their children. In Norway its forbidden to spank your child on the bum (In Norway thats against the law).
If you hit your children, they will start to fear you. And out of that fear, they only think "oh I should not do those things, my dad/mom will hit me for it".
They dont learn the reason for (nor will they care) why they should not be doing something wrong/bad. The only thing they will think of is the aftermath.In recent research and pedagogy this is confirmed. So to all of you who say there is nothing wrong in hitting your child, you should all read up on recent research - cause you are damaging your child in so many ways.
If you still claim hitting a child is the best way - then you are unintelligent and ingnorant and should be removed from your parental rights cause what you are doing is actually child abuse.I study child pedagogy in university and after being educated in the recent research I know very well what I'm talking about.
To read that so many of you are for spanking is really scary reading, you guys know so little apparently about the childrens mental and emotional damages of being punished in such manor. Those of you who think such punishment is good, need education.
Have you ever been spanked? or hit by your parents?
I have and i dont think it has any damage mentally or physicaly... I grew up to be a better person since i know the discipline... Children who dont get hit do not know what discipline is and get spoiled, especially girls... Those children who get spoiled do not think of themselves as spoiled so they dont know the real meaning of that word...
You can say the studies but where? In what countries are those studies being processed? If there is a law in Norway for many years ofcourse the children will be scared of their parents hitting them that is natural... I was afraid of my dad hitting me but i wasnt scared of him i was scared of the hit but i know what have i been doing wrong... The children are too soft and spoiled these days... You cannot talk to a child the child does not hear you coz he doesnt understand the level of the talk you are saying in that moment he will only cry not knowing why...
If you spank your child that is not an abuse... If you beat the hell out of it that is... Do you think that they care if you talk to them? He want listen he will only want more candy... And if you hit your kid they wont fear you that is absurd! No child will fear their parent for spanking they will forget about the pain in a split of second... They dont remember the pain they only remember the existence of the pain in that moment... Dont you remember when you were a kid? You dont have to read books that some old man has written to know that... You dont have to go to university to know that...Captain of the 1st devision in [MicroTokyo] group
- Nov 04, 2005
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