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Help,problems with friend's mom

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LoneTenchi

LoneTenchi

Has come back to MT

Well I have a really close friend at school who I have known for almost 2 years.We have alot in common, and are well...practically best friends. Well this Febuary my friend had her birthday party and naturally invited me. See the thing is I'm very close with all my friends and well we have our own sense on some what twisted humor. On her card I wrote "to my lover"...blah blah blah. See I didn't mean anything by it since I call all my close friends "my lover" from time to time. Her mom read the card and well...didn't like what it said. Now she refuses to let me come over to her house,says she doesn't want her daughter hanging out with me anymore cuz I'm a bad influence and doesn't want her to come over. Worse yet she said some very hurtful things about me that I refuse to repeat but can honestly say I gave her no reason to insult me in such a way. I wrote her a letter saying I was sorry and such with nothing rude involved what so ever. She got even angrier after that and I'm all out of ideas. Does anyone know what I should do?

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Norin

Norin

Mono Espacial

I would have done exactly the same as you, write a letter was a very good thing to do....
It seems to be complicated to make your friend´s mom understand... I wish I could help... Can your mother help you talking to your frind´s mom?... since you did what i thought to be the most reasonable thing to do I don`t know what I can suggest to do
I kind of know a very narrowminded mother that does not listen to any reasons; once one of my best friends, the son of this woman I`m telling you about kicked him out because they had an argument (they used to fight alot, all the time) and one of my other friends took him in, this frustrated her plan on teaching my friend to respect her, so she got very mad at the friend that took him in and with his parents. So she has not talked to them for about 5 years, and since then she started saying that my friend that offered her son somewhere to stay was a bad influence, eventualy my friend and her mother worked things out and he went back to live with her mother, but she still believes that my other friend is a bad influence.

i hope you can solve your problem, sorry if what I wrote did not make any sense
Take care, and good luck!

If you want to make an omelette you have to brake some eggs
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Be excellent to one another

Limality

Limality

Sleeping Beast

write a letter? no way, why didnt you talk directly to her mom? that should be alot more efficient than a letter. also have your friend talk to her mother about it, that mother can't be so stubborn, jesus. well ive never been in such a situation but I do think you should rather try to talk to her, even if its by phone, but at best front to front. that's all i can advise you of. hope you can solve it.

fireflywishes

Retired Moderator, Linguistics

fireflywishes

Calgon, take me away~!

i would have done the same thing as you because i hate confrontations. but, since apparently that didn't work, it might be time for you to go directly to her mom and ask her what offended her about your birthday card... if she refuses to talk to you, maybe get your friend to try and reason with her mom... i'm sorry that you were put in that situation though... it sounds tough and i hope that you are able to work things out! good luck!

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i hope you and your friend can figure something out her mother seems very judgemental man if my mother were like that i wouldnt be able to hang out with alot of my friends.i think u should give her time to cool off and maybe u and your friend could arrange to sit down and try to reason with her maybe get one of your other friends to put a good word in.well good luck anyways

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Seems like she is quite strict, maybe you should have someone trusting to you to talk to her, such as having your mum to talk to her. I would try finding someone her mum likes and having them speak to her.

Devildude

Devildude

- Alstroemeria Records -

what the others here have said is as true as they is gonna be, you really should not have wrote the letter, byu means it means insincerity to some because you are not respecting them by person and not direct, like the others i really do suggest you catch hold of her at some time, preferable off guard and then maybe you just talk to her, talk at her if you have to and try to make her understand, your friend could do the pat as well by going together at that talk at her event with you, a little rebellion sometimes help....i know i diod that when my mom and dad had an argue and i happened where she ran to after the ehated arguments and i diod the same thing, i told her this,,,35years of marriage and this is all you have to say for your pathetic bahaviour to accomodate him???!
it is totally pathetic i mean! just think of how it works all the time, you might want to try this!

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The wind of destiny blows, and the descendant shall walk the earth once more...

well i think that you should go to your friend's house and tell her that you call "lover" your close friends, and that is nothing wrong with it. Tell her that the true meaning of lover is someone who loves you, doesn't have to be like the love between a couple who are about to get married. Love can be within a friendship family soul mate etc. etc. but don't let a simple misunderstanding ruin your friendship.
If you fail to convince her; try talking to your mother, mothers usually solve those kinds of problems.
But if somehow; she doesn't change her mind, try to keep contact with your friend and try to ignore her (doesn't sound good but its better than loosing that friend). But i think that you are able to solve this problem :)

LoneTenchi

LoneTenchi

Has come back to MT

Quote by Limalitywrite a letter? no way, why didnt you talk directly to her mom? that should be alot more efficient than a letter. also have your friend talk to her mother about it, that mother can't be so stubborn, jesus. well ive never been in such a situation but I do think you should rather try to talk to her, even if its by phone, but at best front to front. that's all i can advise you of. hope you can solve it.

Believe me I would but that woman wants nothing to do with me and talking to her directly would be a big no-no. I'm not kidding you should have heard the things she said about me, it was just plain mean. The lady is beyond reason I mean like a few weeks ago I went to the public libarary and my friend was there. We were looking for books in the same section when her mom came in to pick her up. She didn't say a word to me,and I was too scared to say anything first so they just left. The next day I asked my friend if her mom said anything and she said"...ya she was pissed" Her mom got mad because I was at the freakin public KEY WORD being PUBLIC library at the same time and place as my friend.What the heck? I can't go to the public library now just because her daughter goes there? Its not my fault we just happend to be there at the same time.*sigh* Well maybe I should try to talk to her but I'm really scared for my safety if I do...

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Salmarnez

Salmarnez

xiao zhang gui

The letter seemed to have failed. So either do one of two things previous posters said:
A: Get a close friend of you both, or the mother, and have them speak with her about the little inncident.
OR
B: Go up to her yourself, and explain you refer that "lover" meaning as a way of appreciation of one another's friendship. And it's nothing more than 'Platonic Love'--Basically friendship (no sexual attration between the two-or more.).

That's all anyone can really do in your situation. Good Luck with it. :(

-Salmarnez

I would do my best to annoy the crap out of her. I'm not all for patching relations.

royaldarkness

royaldarkness

Restless Soul

i think that your friend's mother is unreasonable and acts like a maniac. a sane person won't react the way she did. i think that you should tell your mum about it and ask your mum to have a talk with your friend's mother. and also, i guess you should tell your friend to explain to her mum.

LoneTenchi

LoneTenchi

Has come back to MT

Wow....well now I'm really confused. See today my school went to Sunsplash as a sort of end of the year activity, and we (the 8th graders) all came back about an hour after school ended. Problem was that I thought that there would be buses to take us home but I was wrong. See my mom works late and any other person who would be able to give me a ride was busy. I was stuck. When I called my mom she told me to aask my friend if I could get a ride with her. Her mom said ok and drove me home. During the ride she acted like nothing was wrong and well...exactly the same way she did before our little "misunderstanding". When we were talking about us (me and my friend) being single, she stated that boys were probably intemidated by me because I'm smart and pretty. She compimented me and held a polite conversation the entire time. Does this mean she forgives me? I wanted to apalogize to her but she was in a hurry so I dicided against it. But do you think she forgot hte intire thing or something? I'm so confused....oh well. Thanks alot for the advice you guys I'm truly grateful. :D I am worried that I might still need it though, in case I was mistaken. x_x

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Spystreak

Retired Moderator

Spystreak

The Grim Reaper

People can be stubborn. I really have no clue why she acted the way she did I mean it was harmless fun all people do that. I mean lighten up you apologized and everything what more can anybody ask.

Quote by LoneTenchiWow....well now I'm really confused. See today my school went to Sunsplash as a sort of end of the year activity, and we (the 8th graders) all came back about an hour after school ended. Problem was that I thought that there would be buses to take us home but I was wrong. See my mom works late and any other person who would be able to give me a ride was busy. I was stuck. When I called my mom she told me to aask my friend if I could get a ride with her. Her mom said ok and drove me home. During the ride she acted like nothing was wrong and well...exactly the same way she did before our little "misunderstanding". When we were talking about us (me and my friend) being single, she stated that boys were probably intemidated by me because I'm smart and pretty. She compimented me and held a polite conversation the entire time. Does this mean she forgives me? I wanted to apalogize to her but she was in a hurry so I dicided against it. But do you think she forgot hte intire thing or something? I'm so confused....oh well. Thanks alot for the advice you guys I'm truly grateful. :D I am worried that I might still need it though, in case I was mistaken. x_x

What the heck that is just bizarre I've never seen someone go through so many mood changes. If I were you I would just try and talk to her to see if things are cool between the two of you. If not I don't know what to say maybe she was just having a good day.

Fools You Can't Escape from The Grim Reaper. Your Only Chance for Escape Is Death. Bye Bye Now
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mewmewpower

I like Cheese i do...

we all do stuff sometimes that seems funny at the time and then later....well...not so funny. My advice..just keep being the fine person that you know you really are..maybe word will get back and the mom will recognize that you were just foolin' around.

"Mew mew style mew mew grace,Mew mew power,in your face!"
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Ceridwen

nyang nyang

my parents are like her parents (especially my mother) so I don't think there's anything to do because she don"t want understand anything (adults are sometimes stupid). You could always see your friend at school. You could maybe speak with your own mother and asks her to do something like speaking with this person (if she could understand your problem) Adults like speaking together and what "children" say is just shit =_=
There's more chance that your friend's mother believe your own mother than you.

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Wow, your story is funny. I guess parents are really paranoid nowadays, they see all kinds of stuff on TV and assume everything to be true. Don't worry too much about it, her weird behavior will pass.

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ElectricPhantasm

ElectricPhantasm

Nice to meet you .!.. (>_<) ..!.

Well, since the card failed, you should go talk to your friend's mom face to face. And if that doesn't work, hang out with your friend anyway, you and your friend shouldn't suffer because of this woman's ignorance.

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