can you accept the fact someone close to you die?

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exentric

exentric

Plain Lazy

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I've been saying this around the forum but lemme just say this one more time for the thread. I have a best friend before. a friend that I have have before. has da same interest as me, anime, games... its not an easy thing you know to find a malay around my neighbourhood that like anime and games especially RPG.. plus we skip school together... well.. I skip school.. he was just sick >_< then grow an interest in basketball together.. well have a lot of fun together. than one day, out of nowhere he died... just like that.. without you being there on his side... can you accept that? well being an 18 year old, of course I can accept that... but thats only my mind. what about heart? can my heart accept that? every now and then, I have a dream that he's in it. in every last one of em, one thing is the same. he didnt die. he was just sick for a long time, was in hospital for a long time, etc etc. in every each dream after the incident on 2003, he didnt die.. my mind may accept the fact that he died, but did my heart accept it? the dreams sure prove otherwise...

euna

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euna

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I think I know how you feel kash and I feel sorry for you.

I've had a friend of mine dying when I was only 7 u_u
He was so nice, and just drowned three days before the summer holidays...
It was difficult to accept it at first, because i had never faced anyone i knew dying, but I eventually accepted it (only took a few hours i suppose XD).
My grandpa died 7 years ago (I think)... It was easier to accept it then because I was older and he had been ill from cancer and I noticed his weakening in physical strength... It was just a pity that he passd away on grandma's birthday.

I think I can accept people's deaths... but I don't know what would it be like if it was someone really really close.

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I know what you mean, I've also had dreams of someone close who died being alive in my dreams. But maybe it's the strong yearning for them to be alive that becomes reality in our subconscious. I don't really know though... my mind just become a big muddled mess when I think hard about it >.<

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ramchong

ramchong

Dirty Old Ninja Master

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Nobodies can accept such hard facts.... and as a Malaysian, i do know that only one of a million malay will get interested into anime and rpg...

But buddies... do you think he want to see you feel so upset and suffer like this...? i don't think so... and for Muslim i'm sure he's back to where he came from... Let the time wash your suffers away... and change the angle in looking forward to your heart's feeling... take it as he long lives in your heart and as important friend that are not gonna be forget by you forever... Cheer up buddy... i'm sure he wants you to be happy forever like all the friends around you does...

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Kenichi

Kenichi

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hm.. sorry to hear that. well ur not the only one that suffer the pain those ur close to that lost their life. i have many people died before my very eyes. its worse enough to have lost a mother giving brith to her son but also close friends. i have a close friend that got shot in the back in mistake by gangs, he saved my life. I also have a childhood friend that suffer a weak heart, she died while i was holding onto her hand..

i suffer a lot of pain.. that i couldn't show myself in the outside world. i promise them to continue to smile and be calm.. always.. letting go the pain within me..

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Celessa

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Celessa

Okaerinasai - Welcome Home

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Ahh Exentric, all I can point out to you is something very simple, yet somewhat complex as well, nonetheless. What you are feeling is pretty mutual in respect. As humans, when somebody close to you dies, of course - you would evidently feel shocked, and wished that it hadn't happened that way.

Conveying your emotions is quite normal, and yes, even at times, all you would wish to think about is those memories in which you dreamed your friend would never died, but unfortunately enough as it is, when you snap back into reality, that isn't the case.

You aren't the only one, of course. I've lost a very good friend of mine when I was around 12, and she was my best friend too. I haven't forgotten her ever since, especially after that dreaded car accident.

When you are around the people you love, at first, you may bicker around with them, and the sorts - and even grow to hate them at times, but when they disappear, or when they have passed away, you begin to realize how important the individual really is towards your life, and how much you would have missed them as well. Then you realize the "what ifs" statements, and it can drive you really mad and really sad at certain times. I'm not sure what to say about your case, but thinking about this very idea really tears people like me apart. Well, as I would usually say, enough of those feelings. It's not the end of the world. Of course though, listen to your heart, and never forget who they are. It's funny because you never really seem to care about them much until they have actually passed away. Then you would have realized how much you miss that person, after all this time. One day they're here, the next day they're no longer with you.

Just acknowledge the fact that they are gone, and move on.

"No matter where you go, no matter how tough life may be, just remember that always in your heart, you will still be loved."

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ventures

ventures

rabu rabu <33

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hey..so sorry to hear about that friend of yours...
hmmm..actually I have never experiance anyone close to me die before so I can't really say
anything much about it...but losing a best friend is always hard espacially if you know that you may never see that person again...

there was a kid once...one of my sis's friend...she was kind of ...lets see..I dunno..
but me and my sis always sort of made fun of her ..
and one day I heard that she died...it felt kinda really bad to know that ..
she died of a kidney failure I think...
I always feel really guilty now...

well...my aunty died once..but thats all...death is acceptable..but it may probably take a while to get use to the loss I guess.... *me talking crap as usual...*

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pamelaho

pamelaho

*iyellowbus...

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I don't know. I mean, my grandfather died last year, and that's also the first death I had to face. All I remember is that my mind just went blank, I cried everyday, everywhere. I guess that's because I wasn't there to see my grandfather when he died, he was in HK and I was in Canada. During that year, I tried to avoid the event and lived my life normally. After I year on his death day, I suddenly realized that he's gone.

i guess this teaches us a valuable lesson: treasure every moment you have, and everyone around you.

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exentric

exentric

Plain Lazy

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actually my frens's death is 2nd death involving someone close to me. the 1st one was when my garndma on my mom's side died. she died while I was during umrah (for those doesnt know, its a smaller version of haj and can be done all around the year) and the same with her. after she died, we went to the hospital to see her body, but me being under 12 wasnt allowed to go in... I was rather sad, but probably because I was only a kid, I didnt felt that much.. but when my friend died.. it struck me.. how sad it is when someone close to you died..

anyway, thanx guyz for all da posts! ^_^
and dont worry~ I never really lead a sad, painful life coz of da incident. I'm a simple and kinda stupid dude, so my life after that just continues like usual. anime, games, etc etc. but at times, when the dreams comes, when I saw a thread about a similar situation, it just made me sit a while. think about alotta stuff and all.. after that like I said, as a simple minded I am, I jsut got all cheered up after a while~ XD

GitS-SaC

GitS-SaC

oh noes!

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Its not hard, but very hard to accept the death of someone very close to you.
I've lost 1 person very close to me.

  • Jun 05, 2005

missingman98

missingman98

kimi o mitsukedasu

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sry to hear that kash-san man that really sucks .__. well i had a problem like urs but instead it was my lil bro well cheer up plus u dont wanna kno how long im still suffering ever since my bros death....

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Thank you ayane for the userpage and stuff :D

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it was hard for me to accept that my grandma dies half year ago, but with the time it goes.
I was really sad for a long time and anything i painted every figure looks really sad.
I tried to paint happy people, but the look on their faces where really sad.

Eagle

Eagle

Full time sadomasochist

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i've dreamed of my own death before. and how it would happen, but never the effect it had on others. :(

  • Jun 05, 2005
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Its really hard to accept when someone dies. On May 24 I lost my uncle and my husband's grandfather all within 3 hours of each other. I have to remind myself of all the happy times I had with them and how much they loved me and wouldnt want me to be sad. To me when I dream about my grandma, uncle, or hubbys grandpa still alive I believe it is them coming back to tell me they are ok and checking up on me to see if Im ok. When you dream of your friend talk to him like you always have and enjoy the time with him.

Im very sorry about your friend and send blessings your way.

Sandra

Sandra

.:: Haya karo waru karo ::.

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Owww Exee , I'm so sorry ...
i think....It's very hard to accept that....When this someone is your friend or someone from family .... It hurts .... It must hurts .... It's normal.... But you're asking yourself : Why ? Why Him/Her ? What does she/he did wrong ? It's normal , Life >Death > Life . . Round and round.Circle of beeing...

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ooh...kash...I feel sorry for you, this is kinda hard, to accept that the person has died. Personally , I didn't met a situation like this, but I can feel it abit, it's hard to loose a really good and close friend. infact that your mind accept he died, it's kinda obvisious, but your heart can't, that's just human, cause you care about him, it needs time, mayB a day, mayB a week, mayB a year or few years, or you'll never forget him. hmz...I'm not good at this -_-"....gomen if I said something wrong....my english isn't good anyways >.<. mayB you could think about the great days you've been with your him and I think he wants you to live on as a good and strong person. mayB you can do something dedicated to him as a goodbye, mayB your heart will be more open for the situation.

ayanechan

ayanechan

- lost existence -

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Quote by exentricI've been saying this around the forum but lemme just say this one more time for the thread. I have a best friend before. a friend that I have have before. has da same interest as me, anime, games... its not an easy thing you know to find a malay around my neighbourhood that like anime and games especially rpg.. plus we skip school together... well.. I skip school.. he was just sick &gt;_&lt; then grow an interest in basketball together.. well have a lot of fun together. than one day, out of nowhere he died... just like that.. without you being there on his side... can you accept that? well being an 18 year old, of course I can accept that... but thats only my mind. what about heart? can my heart accept that? every now and then, I have a dream that he's in it. in every last one of em, one thing is the same. he didnt die. he was just sick for a long time, was in hospital for a long time, etc etc. in every each dream after the incident on 2003, he didnt die.. my mind may accept the fact that he died, but did my heart accept it? the dreams sure prove otherwise...

niisan doesn't have to feel bad about it. if you couldn't handle it, it's normal, it's human but there are limits to as how long can you stay stuck on it. of course i'm not saying one should forget incidents like this but it shouldn't be bothering you forever.

i have yet to lose someone close to me but i know how much it hurts if you really care about that someone. but i think everyone should be able to accept the fact that their loved one is gone.

there are many ways of looking at death. from my point of view, with my current 'brush-off' way of life, someone dying would just mean God wants them back or at least i'll try to tell myself that. of course, we being humans would want a better explaination/reason than that. i think that they way you interpret death is really important in keeping yourself emotionally stable during these type of times. i also think that it applies for any other situation that involves emotional stress. but that's just personal opinion without personal experience :3

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In fact i don´t really accept it that well... or maybe i got a different view of things... i still keep them alive in my heart, so thats why i use the present verbs to describe them. It may confuse some of my friends... but still is a way to feel less pain as possible... i´m not sure...

  • Jun 05, 2005

ShueiTenshi

ShueiTenshi

[ ChHillOut.SpEciAlisT ]

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It is always hard to accept the loss of somebody you knew or someone close to you. However, the pain of your heart varies on your religion and the circumstances i think. For example when my grandfather died 3 weeks ago, I didn't feel sorry, partly because I am too far away, and partly because I know he lived a long and good life enjoying himself, saw his great-grandchildren. But when my best friend's mother died 1 year ago, whom I didn't even know I felt really bad as I could expirience his pain. I guess we can not really help it though. And don't forget: Fear not death, for the sooner we die the longer we shall be immortal.
- Benjamin Franklin

Kitaan

Retired Moderator

Kitaan

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well lots of my friends have pasted away...I feel like I'm a bad luck charm x_x
but there is no way you can really get over it unless you go under serious therapy but although you can't get over it you can still move on and grow from this experience as well :)
I'm very sorry to hear about you're friend Kash and I wish you the best. After all the deaths I've been through I know it's not easy in anyway and sometimes you just don't know how to say goodbye -_-

Yumi-Chan

Yumi-Chan

chibi~ <3

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Kashi, ._. you've said about this to me before, i felt so sorry for you. I know how much it's pain from a person's death, especially someone really close to you. Agreed that it is hard to find such a friend that has the same interests with you and can sorta be a twin of you.. it'd be really great to have a person like that, living with you forever. the incident was really bad i can say ._. my grandma past away last 2 years when I was in grade 6. Her death was just 2 days before our UPSR examination (it's an exam where all 6th graders are compulsary of taking for malaysian citizens, in order to transfer a student to a secondary school if they pass). It was hard for me, I never expected my grandma to die on such a bad time. She was sick because of heart disease, and virus attacked her liver as well as her kidneys. This caused her extremely weak that, we all had to let her go because the hospital couldn't save her anymore ._. In the end, she died on her death bed at 11.30am, same date as her birthdate. it's kinda creepy, and i never knew her birthday was on that same date.. all a long she has been using a fake birthday date. I found out about this a year ago. Yeah, as her death happened, i never get to study for my exams properly. she was in my mind too much, i cried everyday before going to bed. I was very grateful of my grandma to grant me my one and only wish to score the best grades for that exam. So you see, it is very hard to accept, even if it's your heart or mind. We have to live with it. every living thing will die in the end..

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:nya: i <33 mochii-chann ^_^

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Before when my Gravdfather died, I was always with him. We do lots of stuff together. When he died everyone was crying except for me. Sure, I'm sad coz he died, but I'm happy coz I didn't have any regrets. I always think that he is in a better place right now, so I should be happy for him. It maybe hard when a loved one dies but somehow you'll manage to pull through. All you need is time.

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