Holding grudges against other people

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SilentMasamune

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Another thread as a result of my recent experiences...is it really so beneficial to hold grudges against other people regardless of what they have done? This thread is a little bit more for discussion, so sorry for the entrance post being so long; you all should know me by now, heheh. ^_^' I won't mention any names since I know that there are some people who hold grudges against others in different ways.

As for me, I usually don't hold any grudges against anyone unless someone else did something that is unforgivable, such as killing someone else or ruining a reputation. Usually, I will be just fine as long as I'm not forced to do anything so quickly, such as moving on from a certain situation, unless I choose to move on quickly. Moving on is not something anyone should be forced to do unless all the circumstances are assessed, so of course, I begin to hold grudge on those who force me to do such a thing. Right now, though, I'm quite laid back and I usually let all offensive notes pass right by me because either I'm so used to getting put down or I end up ignoring it.

There are two notes I would like to make. I understand holding a grudge against someone offline because you visually see what other people are doing and you have reason to be upset with them for their actions. You know how they convey their messages because of the tones they use or the body language they use. However, is there a such thing as online grudges? How is it possible to hold a grudge against someone online? It doesn't make sense if you're not really getting a sense of their true feelings. Online is just words; yes, the words may be arranged in such a way that you receive a certain feeling, such as sadness or enjoyment, but still, I don't think holding grudges online is necessary unless the person on the other side really means what they say in a way in which you can hold a grudge against them.

I don't think holding grudges is a beneficial thing because it only shows that you can't really get rid of your problems as much as you think you could. There are many ways in which people hold grudges online and offline, such as ignoring them or avoiding them, blocking them on an IM, or if talking to them they're more harsh and they care less for you. I don't like it when people hold grudges against me because it makes me feel as if I did something so terrible to them, and I know that sometimes I can be harsh and I may not say many things in a good manner. However, I do not mean everything I say. As a result, I feel that I'm the one who is wrong and that's when I become curious to know what I really did wrong and try my best to solve the problem. I don't think there's anything to gain from holding a grudge except the hatred from the other person or people you hold a grudge against.

So my questions to you:
- Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people, or do you think it serves no purpose?
- If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could've been avoided, what will you do?
- Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?
- Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people? Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?

I'm also open for opinions about my situation.

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  • Jun 19, 2005

Akaiken

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I hold so many grudges against people so that's why I hate the world!

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- Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people, or do you think it serves no purpose?
I think its kind of pointless. solve the problem out, then move on. grudges cause stress, and stress is bad.
- If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could�ve been avoided, what will you do?
I cant hold grudges against people. just not something I can do.
- Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?
online grudges are rather pointless and a bit stupid I think. its the internet, and therefore usually shouldnt be taken seriously.
- Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people? Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?
some people can grow up holding grudges, most of them probably die at the age of 40 from a heart attack. People could get over this problem by simply taking it easy and relaxing. sometimes being lazy is the key to a happy life.

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wookie3

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im confused by all this mumbo jumbo but when i heared the word "grudges" i thought "holy mother of god theres a crap load of people i hate for virious reasons.

  • Jun 19, 2005
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Quote: - Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people, or do you think it serves no purpose?

Holding grudges is just plain stupid. I mean, holding a grudge does stress yourself and your mind, including other people as well. Holding a grudge makes you keep the situation inside your mind. It will basiclly be the only thing that you think about. My suggestion to anyone holding a grudge for a stupid purpose...let it go>.<

Quote: - If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could�ve been avoided, what will you do?

I do not hold grudges against anyone. If they piss me off...they piss me off. Nothing i can do about it. Holding a grudge would just stress me out and make me become unfocussed on more important things. Sometimes, the person holding the grudge is someone looking out for attention. I've seen many situations like that.

Quote: - Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?

Online grudge? hahahahah its stupid......
If that person is holding an 'online grudge' such as blocking you or w.e, just let them be...they just want attention most of the time..as i said in the above answer before^.^

Quote: - Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people? Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?

Ah, yes, people can and do grow up with grudges. And its very sad too.....
And yes, people can sometimes let go of their problems with holding grudges...but most of the time, people tend to be very stubborn -.-

Quote: I�m also open for opinions about my situation.

I'd say....forget about it mel. Just stop thinking about it, like i've told you millions of times before. If you say you have moved on, move on. Do not continue on worrying about things like this. Just let the situation dwell in the past, and work towards the future. If there are stupid people in the past..let them stay in the past with all the other stupid people.Perhaps they can have a party? XD

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depending on what they did...i hold grudges against people who lie, steal, talk sh** behind your back...i hold grudges against all right wingers!
if the person shows they are interested in righting the wrong they did, of course i would drop the grudge! BUT...if its an ex-boyfriend, HELL no! i aint stupid like that! they only get one chance....uhm...no offense, but i dont care enough about anyone online to hold a grudge, never have, never will...the internet is only entertainment for me, nothing more
uhm...all i know is i do hold grudges and im also laid back....i dont run around all day thinking about my grudges! LOL! but when some one wrongs you in a way and they dont apologize, i wont forgive, but i will forget..

hey....what situation mel-duude? i wanna know! **pouting**

  • Jun 19, 2005
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- Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people, or do you think it serves no purpose?
I think it serves no purpose to hold a grudge against someone. That is unless there's a reason behind it.

- If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could've been avoided, what will you do?
To me it depends on what the problem is. But I'm usually not up to make-ups. If you did something wrong I'm not the type to forgive you so easy.

- Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?
Again it depends on what the problem is.

- Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people?
Yes I think people can grow up holding grudges against each other. If it was something to make that one person just hate the other person for one reason or another then yes it is possible.

Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?
Yes I think it is possible to resove your grudges with one another. Just that both of you have to forgive each other.


But basicly it's just wheather what you did or what the other person did to make the grudge happen.

  • Jun 19, 2005

Barbara

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Quote by melmachine18- Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people, or do you think it serves no purpose?


In the real world, everything can happens so there must be people love or hate each other. I'm not the exception here. It really depends on each situation to say if it's beneficial or not. If I can be beneficial but it can harm others even the one I don't like then I will try not to do so, I'm not that mean.

Quote by melmachine18- If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could've been avoided, what will you do?


Wow, are you talking about something in the imaginary world, hardly can it happen in the real world especially nowadays, how sad. But if it does happen, I'm willing to work it out together with those people and hope it's for the best :)

Quote by melmachine18- Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?


I assumed all people that I talked to online are good people since I don't really know them, I don't want to hold any grudges against them except when they try to prove me wrong then I have no choice.

Quote by melmachine18- Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people? Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?


Holding grudges just make life more complicated, you can somehow get rid of the problems but it might happen again, or it can lead to another problem, things are connected. So I try to be calm as much as I can, there may be a volcano explodes in my head but I can still smile and try to be nice as usual

AH.....you did put some good thinking during a break from MT, good threads mel :)

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What do you expect mel?
We're humans. Its natural to hate,kill,upset etc of all things.
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Quote by melmachine18- Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people,
or do you think it serves no purpose?


i personal think that holding a grudge serves no purpose.

Quote by melmachine18- If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and
willing to solve a problem they know that could've been avoided, what
will you do?


i don't really know...it would depend why u have against the person in the first place...

Quote by melmachine18- Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?


I never really had an online grudge.....

Quote by melmachine18- Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people?


i think the person that holds the grudge against the person would eventually forget about it and treat the person as a normal person...

Quote by melmachine18Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?


You can never get rid of problems holding a grudge...as a matter of fact, i think it makes even more problems for the person holding the grudge...

i use to have a grudge against someone, but my dad told me to get rid of it because it would stress me out and that i couldn't really focus on my future, so i finally have no grudges against people...currently...-_-

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SilentMasamune

SilentMasamune

I'm all washed up. . .

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Quote by ShadowdudeWhat do you expect mel?
We're humans. Its natural to hate,kill,upset etc of all things.
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You think I should finally get out my gun to end this madness? XD Nah, let me stop. Yeah, we're humans, so there really isn't anything to do since not everyone will be in agreement with each other. Some people hold grudges and some people don't, and for those who hold grudges, especially against me or my friends, face my ultimate wrath. Mwahahaha! XD XP

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  • Jun 19, 2005
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Quote by melmachine18You think I should finally get out my gun to end this madness? XD Nah, let me stop. Yeah, we're humans, so there really isn't anything to do since not everyone will be in agreement with each other. Some people hold grudges and some people don't, and for those who hold grudges, especially against me or my friends, face my ultimate wrath. Mwahahaha! XD XP


*laughs* Yeah! *runs behind mel* Don't mess with us! hehe...

  • Jun 19, 2005

fireflywishes

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Quote by melmachine18- Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people, or do you think it serves no purpose?


no i don't think it is beneficial to hold grudges... they really serve no purpose but to give a person an excuse not to like somone and cause yopu stress...

Quote by melmachine18- If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could've been avoided, what will you do?


if i have a grudge against someone, but they are willing to try and work things out, then i'm all for trying to work things out! holding grudges is hard! ^_^'

Quote by melmachine18- Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?


personally i have never held a grudge against someone online... so i'm not too sure about that... but i don't really see the point. it's not like you see the person, so holding a grudge against them is just wasted energy. not talking online to a person that you have a grudge against is kind of like just not being online in general, so it serves no real purpose. (wow, i think i just repeated myself 3 times! XP)

Quote by melmachine18- Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people? Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?


i think that people can grow up holding grudges based on what they learn from their parents... but that's more like prejudice...i don't think that people can get rid of their problems by holding grudges though... like i said...all grudges do is give people an excuse for their actions towards a person and cause stress.

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eXDream2K5

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Quote by melmachine18
So my questions to you:
- Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people, or do you think it serves no purpose?
- If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could've been avoided, what will you do?
- Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?
- Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people? Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?

I'm good at holding grudges...I've grown up holding grudges against my dad and maybe one or two against my mom and a shitload against my brother. From middle school on, I've had so much practice holding grudges against classmates and teachers it's not funny.

First, holding grudges is far from beneficial. Anger in general is unhealthy when felt constantly. The only purpose a grudge serves is to keep you angry, constantly, without a break. What comes of it? Bad health, less energy, and loads more problems.

Second, if someone I'm holding a grudge against is willing to work it out, I always take this "kiss my ass" attitude. In my opinion, if they know it could've been avoided, they should've avoided pissing me off in the first place.

Holding grudges against people I met online isn't worth the time and energy. I just let those people slip out of my life if I'm not close with them like I am two people I've known online for two or three years. If I've developed a bond with a person I met online and progressed to sending letters via snail mail and calling them on the phone, then I try my best to avoid holding a grudge...sometimes that doesn't work, but I still do my best to avoid that.

I've grown up holding grudges against family members, so yes, that's possible. As far as getting rid of the problems grudges cause, just let the issue go. It's hard to do, but it's possible. "Giving up isn't always a sign of weakness, sometimes it means you're strong enough to let go." I can't remember who that quote came from, but I got it off of www.quotegarden.com

Try to work things out with your family and those around you, let go of the grudges and ask that they do the same. If that turns out to be impossible, then move on.

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bbls

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Quote: Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people, or do you think it serves no purpose?


i suppose grudges are not beneficial, and this kind of pent up anger or angst isn't good for the health, but many people do it anyways...including myself. i know it's not helpful to hold grudges against people, but sometimes what my head tells me what is right, my emotions steer me wrong. we're only human, right?

and it serves a purpose for me because resenting the other person is a way for me to deal with the situation when i can't fix it for some reason...i guess it's a mechanism for me to feel like i'm not powerless by just letting the issue drop and giving in. but, i really don't hold grudges for very long because i tend to forget....i kind of just ignore the other person and don't bother with it.

Quote: If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could've been avoided, what will you do?


this situation would really be fortuitous for everyone involved if the other person was willing to work things out. i would definitely be open to that and wouldn't deny the other person's attempt to solve the problem. i'm sure with open discussion on both parties that the situation could be resolved, and if friendship or a deeper relationship couldn't be reinstated, well at least no one would be left severely hurt. this is what i would call closure, and everyone could move on hopefully without a heavy heart.

Quote: Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?


well, online grudges would be the same as in a real-life, face to face situation, so i would say that it is not a positive outcome. i'm sure this actually happens since everyone feels and believes differently concerning any kind of online relationships...and many will take their online relationships as serious as ones they have in real life. there's nothing wrong with that since people have their own preferences, but online grudges are probably not healthy, too. although, they're probably more easier to ignore since you don't have to see the other person face to face.

Quote: Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people? Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?


i think people can grow up having grudges against someone else...i have one against my father because i resent the way he treated me when i was growing up. we have an uneasy, but civil relationship between each other. i know i should get rid of the grudge i have for him, but i'm still working on forgiving him...i know it will take time to heal my wounds. but, i also have never really talked to him about my feelings, so i don't think our relationship will be healed any time soon. i think one of the most important steps to move past resentment is to talk about your feelings with the other person instead of both sides remaining uncommunicative and uncompromising.

so, i also think that it would be very difficult to resolve the problem if you continue to hold a grudge because it seems like you're unwilling to move on and deal with the circumstances. and you're also just letting that resentment stew inside you instead of trying to find a solution. i think once you're able to talk it out with the other person and come to an agreement, then that resentment can finally begin to disappear.

i'm not sure what you're situation is concerning grudges, but perhaps you can have an open, honest dialogue with the other person to clear up any misunderstandings. and just realize that things will probably not be resolved very quickly, but if both of you guys are willing to take the time and effort to find a common ground, then perhaps both of you will come out better people in the end. and sorry if i don't make sense....just taking a stab at being a "dear abby"... ^_^'

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  • Jun 19, 2005

AngelKate

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Quote: - Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people, or do you think it serves no purpose?


No, I think it's lame. Holding grudges against people to me shows immaturity. Get over it, for crying out loud. ~_~

The only way its legit to me is if it's an extreme case, like killing someone, or, in a case for me, hurting me and many of my other friends and causing us a lot of trouble. Seriously, the guy has problems. And I'm not the only one who thinks this way (yes, I know I just contradicted myself. I said only for extreme cases do I hold a grudge. This guy was an extreme case).

But for petty stuff, like relationships and whatnot, it's not worth it to waste your energy on it. Staying angry with people continuously is stressful and I've even heard it's harmful to your health.

Quote: - If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could've been avoided, what will you do?


I'm generally a very forgiving person, and I'm always willing to talk things out and try to solve whatever problem there may be.

Quote: - Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?


It's very difficult to hold grudges against someone you only talk to through a computer. Words with no voice behind them are sometimes hard to take seriously, and things can come across the wrong way as well. As an old friend used to say "Text is dead." It's possible to hurt someone with just words, but it's very difficult. In general, I say no to this question. Like I said to the first question, just get over it. Exception once again with extreme cases.

Quote: - Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people? Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?


Again, like I said to the first question, holding grudges to me shows immaturity, especially when it's petty crap. Problems don't go away by ignoring them and staying pissed at people. If you want problems to go away, you have to work through them with whoever caused the problem. Brooding over it will never make it go away.


Good thread Mel. Sorry I babbled. XD And I hope I made sense.

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Quote by melmachine18 Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people, or do you think it serves no purpose?

For me, I've been in a lot of situations where I had to make this decision...in fact, just one recently. I think I'll say that holding grudges does nothing but make things worse. I mean, I know there was a time where myself and another member went at it for the longest time and now we're great friends. Why? Because we didn't let stupid grudges get in the way of us working things out. No, not every situation is going to end up like that but, how do you know if you just sit there dwelling and hating the other person.

Quote by melmachiene18If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could've been avoided, what will you do?

Who's to really say if a situation can be avoided or not? In life, stuff happens....that includes problems. No one likes everyone. Simple as that. If the person really wants to reach out to me, and it's genuine....I'd let them. I have enough faith in my heart to believe that a person has learned from what happened. If I'm the person trying to make a truce and the other person just isn't having it because they're wrapped up in their stupid pride/grudge ect....I say, forget it and move on...no sense in trying to work with a jacka**.

Quote by melmachine18- Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?

I don't think holding any type of grudge is a good thing, and online ones are no exception. I think it's really stupid especially if it's a person I don't know really. At the same time, I understand how it could happen (happened to me just recently), and I think it's important to be responsible enough to realize that online grudges are really dumb and you don't gain or earn anything from them. it's THE internet XD.

Quote by melmachine18- Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people? Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?


For some people, it's very easy to hold grudges for a lifetime. It's happened, even in history...that's why there are rascist idiots out here today. Of course, I think they could get rid of the problem, it's just that something that goes hand in hand with people like that, is stubborness. So basically, they can get rid of the problem but they're just too stubborn to do so. And they probably don't like to admit that other people are right.


....well that's my whole dish on this thread. Good one Mel, I could really relate to it.

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Lenne

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I can hold grudges against others for quite some time ,but only if they hurted me very much.Other than that no i can't really hold on a grudge long time. :D I'm just that kind of person. :)

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I hold grudges for like ever. I still pester my sister about the pretty pink princess ring she stole from me. i got that from a cracker jacks box.....

  • Jun 19, 2005
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I don't speak to people whom I hold grudges against.
I now lead a very quiet life..

  • Jun 19, 2005

crewcifix

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Sorry for the late post. lol. but I really want to answer some of these.

Quote by melmachine18Another thread as a result of my recent experiences...is it really so beneficial to hold grudges against other people regardless of what they have done? This thread is a little bit more for discussion, so sorry for the entrance post being so long; you all should know me by now, heheh. smiley I won't mention any names since I know that there are some people who hold grudges against others in different ways.

First off, it is good that you never mentioned any names. This will only produce more chaos if you did and if chaos is brought upon by members in MiniTokyo, then you deserve a ban from the community, and you shall earn it.

I personally find grudges useless and a worthless piece of shit. I've been in that situation mind you. For 2 years I had been angry at this person. I knew he was wrong and that I was right but in the end it was my reputation that got destroyed. The worst part is it was me who destroyed my being.. my self-esteem. But like what the famous quote says, there's a reason for everything and you learn from everything. Yes I did learn something. I learned a lot of things and I learned them the hard way. Grudges do not give out anything beneficial. Remember that when you plant a grudge it is just as good as saying that you planted a seed. Whatever the outcome is will be its fruit. Bad seeds neve bear good fruit. Just so you have to know.

And here's a more convincing metaphor. Saying that you only "grudged/sinned" a tiny bit is as good as saying that you are a little pregnant. It is no different with someone who is actually pregnant. Sooner or later, a fruit will open through.

Quote by melmachine18Moving on is not something anyone should be forced to do unless all the circumstances are assessed, so of course, I begin to hold grudge on those who force me to do such a thing. Right now, though, I'm quite laid back and I usually let all offensive notes pass right by me because either I'm so used to getting put down or I end up ignoring it.

I believe that moving on is the most natural and effective way for a human being to live freely. Bearing grudges only puts you in a cage. Trust me, I have had this experience already and I know what I'm talking about. Even when other people hold something againts you, do not burden yourself by holding something back. But that doesn't mean you have to be nice to them or anything. Its human nature to avoid our enemies but it is godly to love them. Loving our enemies is the hardest trial of all because it takes most of the courage in us. I had been in both situations. I did both too. When I despised people I didn't like, I only ended up being put down not only by them but also by myself. As I said, it might not come out at first but eventually, once feel like you don't have anyone around you anymore, that's when you feel really lonely and that when you are putting yourself down. Being lifeless is not a good option. It can only resolve to a broken heart.

However, if you do choose to love them, care for them and include them in your prayers, you will be blessed. I do not mean to say anything corny because this is a tried and tested formula. It is not an instant reply, it took me a lot of time, years even before I completely transformed myself into what I consider a being of light. There. And it had good results and as of now, I am very very happy with my life which is so full of surprises. Both socially, emotionally, etc.

I love life and I want to live it. Happily. I will not waste my time thinking of unnecessary thoughts that keep repeating all over and over again. Better to let the future be untold. Who cares about bad comments. As long as you yourself is happy, none of it would matter. Only an insecure person would hold grudges because he or she envies a certain something of his enemy. This is true. Though we do not really get to realize it at first. Try to heal yourself first. It will bring you peace.

Quote by melmachine18However, is there a such thing as online grudges? How is it possible to hold a grudge against someone online? It doesn't make sense if you're not really getting a sense of their true feelings. Online is just words; yes, the words may be arranged in such a way that you receive a certain feeling, such as sadness or enjoyment, but still, I don't think holding grudges online is necessary unless the person on the other side really means what they say in a way in which you can hold a grudge against them.

Uhmm.. I think there is. Holding grudges doesn't concern whether it be online or offline. A Grudge is a form of hatred towards a fellow being. This is not good as I have mentioned.

i know someone, several people in MiniTokyo who has a grudge on my friend and vice versa. I understand the person's point of view but it is already of the past. Do not make this world worse as hell as it already is. You are not only hurting that person but yourself. Do you really think that you got everything covered up by bickering and flaming that person endlessly? I do not think so.

I also think several people in the community do not like me. I do not really know but I do not really care. Fuck off is all I can say. And after that, I do not hold anyform of grudge. I simply walk away, confident because I always know that I have my family, my friends and God oh God who is the most important being within me. There that says it all.

Quote by melmachine18I don't think holding grudges is a beneficial thing because it only shows that you can't really get rid of your problems as much as you think you could. There are many ways in which people hold grudges online and offline, such as ignoring them or avoiding them, blocking them on an IM, or if talking to them they're more harsh and they care less for you. I don't like it when people hold grudges against me because it makes me feel as if I did something so terrible to them, and I know that sometimes I can be harsh and I may not say many things in a good manner. However, I do not mean everything I say.

I am glad we are taking the same sides. Is this the reason why you took a break or something? I am just curious. ^^;

Quote by melmachine18So my questions to you:
- Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people, or do you think it serves no purpose?
- If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could've been avoided, what will you do?
- Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?
- Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people? Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?

- No. it is not.
- I would be very delighted. Get real people. It is a very good feeling when you find out that people whom hurt you or vice versa would want to reconcile.
- no.
- People who grow up holding grudges will never find the true beauty of life. Fuck it. I mean come on! It will only start hurting yourself. So there, that's my opinion. hehe. imho.

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  • Jun 19, 2005

Kiako

Kiako

the shadow

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well i can't hold grudges, not for long^^'
well it lasts only for a day, and even that is only ment as a joke.
i'm a hopeless case lol
i don't see any point in holding grudges.

Celessa

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Celessa

Okaerinasai - Welcome Home

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Quote by melmachine18- Do you think it is beneficial to hold grudges against other people,
or do you think it serves no purpose?

No, it serves no purpose apparently because focusing on the content at negative can apparently be blunt at times. I know people who obviously hold grudges against others, and turning away from the truth, or not trying to see the person as a whole, doesn't actually help as well. **Shrugs** Some people obviously need to know better. Some do have a point when holding a gruge, but at least they shouldn't try to get it into their head. You rant, you made your views, you forget about the person, and you move on, rather than just stick onto them like glue and feel more disgusted by them all the time.

Quote by melmachine18- If you do hold grudges against other people, and they are asking and willing to solve a problem they know that could've been avoided, what will you do?

I wouldn't ask or do anything, apparently unless they want an honest response from me. If they want to change - good for them. I apparently hold very little grudges upon one individual, but more likely to the general public as a whole, to tell you the truth. More to focus with having fun on your good friends, then solely relying on feeding rumors upon your enemies. **Nods** I call those people, those who don't have much of a life. No offense.

Quote by melmachine18- Is holding online grudges a good thing or not?

Good question, but I can't really answer this one often, because sometimes people do have a valid point, and I hate to admit but its quite understandable. That's why the person who is affected should obviously ignore such a case. Help would be nice, but more so should be corrected in private, than public. I hate people who obviously try to sneak in and find out more about a person that way. Ever heard of the terms - Mind your own business? Hmm - oh, but sometimes holding a grudge just because one person negatively says to another doesn't warrant an automatic hate. That would obviously be disappointing, to tell you the truth.

Quote by melmachine18- Do you think people can grow up holding grudges against other people?

In the long run, no. In real life, I don't think it would exist months or years from now. Let's call it a temporary calling. **Giggles**

Quote by melmachine18Do you think people can even get rid of their problems holding grudges?

Yes, but simply by ignoring them or seeing the person in a whole new light. Either way works, though forgetting about grudges can creep back up to you - since many people can be bound to make the same mistakes over and over.

"No matter where you go, no matter how tough life may be, just remember that always in your heart, you will still be loved."

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cardmage

cardmage

After you

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Your threads get extremely long replies like always... Oh well, on to the main topic...

I'm not the sort who holds grudges, as in I won't remember just one single thing and dislike the person for it. Most events/words in everyday life just happen and just aren't really worth all my time remembering and holding a grudge on, even if it does make me unhappy for a while... I'm basically the sort who angers easily but forgets easily. I think I'd hold a grudge for something rather important though. What's important? Ummm... there still isn't anything I have held a grudge on yet so I'll tell you later... I think life is happier without holding grudges... Hmmm... I'm usually the one who would try to talk things through with the other person if a fight or something breaks out, so I guess I would be glad if they came round and forgive them if they're willing to admit their mistake.

i wouldn't hold a grudge online, but I don't really hold grudges offline and in real life either, so I don't think there's much point to it. However, I feel that the online community should still hold some basic respect for each other and you should treat people online as you do in real life, so I suppose online grudeges are possible...

I'm not sure if I'm right, but I think my cousin holds a grudge against me. I don't remember doing anything to her, but she seems to dislike me a lot... So I guess its yes to this question...

Ummm... having a grudge with the other person is a problem to any relationship. The problem is solved once the grudge has been let go, so I suppose you can't hold on to a grudge and solve a problem since the grudge can be a problem in itself...

Life is tranquil, Death is peaceful...
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Its the transition that is troublesome...

  • Jun 19, 2005

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