Can you forgive those who betrayed you?

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Keltosh

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Keltosh

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Hmm i really want to know this.
Can you forgive those who betrayed you?
You can see this as "betray in love" if you want but i prefer a more general "betray my trust".
I consider myself a nice guy but i have this bad trait. I can never forgive those who betray my trust, either in love or in other things.
By betraying i mean "intentionally using or hurting me in order to gain something, or otherwise behaving in a way you know WILL hurt me deeply just for your pleasure/gain etc". In my opinion, this is absolutely unforgivable.
This applies to love as well. I would never cheat on a girlfriend.
If i really were interested in another girl i'd still not cheat, breaking up first with my old gf. This is NOT the same thing, since everything is in the open. I can understand that feelings can change but to cheat is really unforgivable .... it can deal wounds that really never heal ...

So what do you say ?

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itsDchlorine

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i can but its gonna take a long time to win back the trust

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no, u can't! lol, jk. well it depends on the circumstances, but there are some times when u can fogive someone for something.

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i will forgive them.. but it'll take a long time for me to trust them again. ... yeah

  • Jul 15, 2004

shyxsakura

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... ...... i dont think i have the will to trust them again ..


i would forgive them ... .. but i wouldnt be as close to them ..

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depends on what the person did, sometimes people tend to overreact over minor things :P

  • Jul 15, 2004
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Trust like all things is relative. I guess if it's serious like if someone killed someone, I couldn't trust them again to not do it again...but for "smaller" stuff I will give anyone a chance or 2 or 3. People aren't perfect. They make mistakes. It's life.

  • Jul 15, 2004

Haia

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I can forgive but can never forget. It will take them forever to gain my trust or friendship[if it's that bad]

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ludoman

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I think i would trust again cause I'm not a person of being mad much with other person even if it is serious!
I guess I would stay away from that person but if he/she tries to be friends again I won't denie it!

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  • Jul 15, 2004

WunAngelwHoney

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i guess u can say that i would neva eva forget anyone if they broke my heart and cheat on mi
how can i ever trust them agian
In trust its basically the same thing
but i will forgive them eventually but i would trust in them for anything
i guess thats how life works
if u betray someone its likely that u no that u cant eva be trusted agian
im usually not a mean person but if i loose trust in someone its foreva gone

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katz291

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I'm such a softie. My trust has been broken so many times. But I have always forgiven them and trusted them again. For some reason I just can't not trust someone no matter what they did to me. Does that make me stupid or something?

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Like someone already said, it depends on what the person did. In any case I can forgive given time (and a proper apology) but to forget? No. To trust him/her again? No. To be his/her friend again? No. I can never do those things again because from then on I will always be second-guessing the person's intentions.

  • Jul 16, 2004

raging_otter

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Quote by katz291I'm such a softie. My trust has been broken so many times. But I have always forgiven them and trusted them again. For some reason I just
can't not trust someone no matter what they did to me. Does that make
me stupid or something?

just do whatever you think is right ^^

i myself been betrayed quite a few times by friends, colleagues etc. ... i guess ppl take advantage of me being too nice *sigh... anyway what i would do is just brush off the issue and not think about it too much... if the person ask for forgiveness thats fine, if not well too bad...

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Part of being human is being able to forgive....personally, most of the time i would forgive and eventually forget. I tend to live by this motto; "What has happened in the past happened in the past" I see no need in holding a grudge against anybody just for their past actions. However, of course, it all depends on the situation at hand.

Whether or not to forigive somebody is totally up to you of course. So just go with what yout heart is saying, not what you are thinking :) (man i sound so corny >_<)

FallenAngel

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Quote by Katz291I'm such a softie. My trust has been broken so many times. But I have always forgiven them and trusted them again. For some reason I just can't not trust someone no matter what they did to me. Does that make me stupid or something?

I do the exact same thing. I'm so naive to think that they're really sorry and won't do it again, but they do it anyway. Oh well.

sammo

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sammo

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im not so uptight as to not forgive those who betrayed me once. everyone is suceptible to one mistake. but if it happens again, im not sure if i would be able to do so :)

Keltosh

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uhm .... most of the posts in here says that in this situation you would forgive.... pls note i'm not talking of small things... some example are
cheating on a gf/bf
revealing something about you that you want to keep secret cause it's important / extremely embarassing / could ruin your life
etc..
what i want to point out is that i'm not talking of "he went to that party without telling me" or such frivolous things, i'm talking about things that cause great suffering.

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Sephiroth

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i don't hold grudges really, so i would forgive, but not trust XD

but it would still probably depend on the situation

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Usagi

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i don't think it's going to be easy for me to do that. it really depends on the situation and how i was betrayed.

Osiris

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in time....

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hydro

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no one has betrayed me yet so i can't tell you,but i don't like friends whom just care about us for something,i just this kind of friends,but i really hate "LIES",i can be a little jerk but i can understand when they're liying,just to avoid beeing with me, i guess this is sort of betration

"Use the element who brings life"

  • Jul 16, 2004
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in that case it would be difficult to forgive him/her
the grudge is still there
i think i would strike back and make him/her suffer ....

  • Jul 16, 2004

Mitsu

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I dont forgive....only if she..did, first. (That actulyy hapand to me..my g.f used me..and than >.<! I had to brake up with her cause she was cheating..with 3 people >.<! ahh.....)

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  • Jul 16, 2004
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Yes, and I already have. My best friend slept with my ex when we were still together (no, not the one that turned gay) Also, one of my friends stole my cell phone. And once a teacher told me the only reason why I get high grades is because I sell out on the other teachers (meaning she believes I sleep with my male teachers) which is not true, of course, because I like my toys... i mean boys... younger than me XD

It's mean, and stupid, I know, but there are moments when a person's judgment just totally flies off the wall, so yes, I can forgive. Quite easily, in fact, since I even have trouble holding on to my anger.

If knowing is believing, I'm drowning in delusions.

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