First things first, and that's figure out exactly who your stalker is. Do some mirror stalking, find out all you
can about his/her personal life and public life.
The best way to get someone to stop stalking you is to let them know you know, and do so in a threatening way. Does
your stalker have any children? If so, kidnap them and drop them off blindfolded at a random church with a note saying
that if you keep stalking me next time you won't get them back. If the stalker has more than one kid, kill one of
them just so s/he knows you mean business.
If your stalker is one of those freaks who lives like alone or in his mom's basement, then theres a different
approach. First, burn their house down, its effective and to the point. Next, buy a stun gun/taser and wait for him to
follow you into a dark alley. Next, turn around and charge them, this will catch them off guard, and nail them right in
the neck with the stun gun. If you stalker is male, use a ball peen hammer to smash his testicles and then use a rubber
band to cut off the blood flow so he doesn't bleed to death. This will avoid those pesky murder charges should you
be caught, plus you need to make him suffer for stalking you. If your stalker is female, first thing to do after
stunning them is to use a piece of sharp glass or a knife to slice off her love button. This will render her unable to
masturbate and she will quickly lose interest in stalking you if she can't get off to it. Next would be to take
away her ability to have children, not only to punish her but to prevent her from bringing any children into the world
under her care (which would be ungodly cruel to the child). You can go about this in a number of ways, but I recommend
using a coathanger with rust on the tip.
Are you getting all this? Good.
Finally, if your stalker is just some punk kid who has a crush on you, just give him what he wants. That way he
doesn't feel the need to stalk you anymore since he has already sampled the goods and you might get a fun night out
of it, or at least a free dinner!
Man, I hope no one ever decides to stalk me.........or do I.......?
I hope this has been helpful, happy trails!