[*.:.Advice please^^.:.*]-Life (pls girl replies-only 15+)

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Hi everyone^^
I'm seeking advice for a few things in my life in which i dont really know what to do O.o
Well, im mostly expecting GIRL RESPONSES but ya, guys can post too if they've been through the same thing..
Well here it goes..
Have you ever felt down, like your life is so damn messed up and its over, and this just happens to happen after a relationship has ended? You feel like "wow, my life really sucks now."
But even after you've gotten into a new relationship you feel like your life is still messed up? You know that the new man is a blessing from God to you, but you feel like, your life totally went wrong when u were with your past boyfriend? Like a feeling of regret because you feel like that was the thing that messed you up? The thing that changed your trail of thought and your hope on things? I dont have feelings for this other guy if thats what your going to say. He was absalutely a jerk..Because this guy isnt even on my mind, but, I feel like after leaving this person..it kind of..well threw my life out of balance..and it felt like..my life was thrown out of balance to begin with when i was with this person.It was the worst decision i made to be with this person.
I feel like im surrounded by nothing..but this one special guy i have now. Who is totally awesome and supportive of me. But i feel like, i have no hope left you know?
Like, you feel almost like, who cares about what happens in your life anymore. But the thing is..i do care..its so confusing @.@ I feel guilty now if i stay home sick from school, or i feel guilty if i accept gifts from others, you know. Its a deep orb of guilt inside of me, even though i know very well i havent done anything wrong..
Could it possibley be that i'm afraid of getting into a new relationship with a good man? Could it be i dont feel deserving of things?Or could it be that im in depression of some sort? I dont really know, but i know im deeply in love with this new man.

I'd really appreciate your supportive advice on this^.^
It would be awesome to hear what other girls had to say about this^.^

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Well, can't say I have ever felt this way, but you have a whole life ahead of you. There are many good and bad things waiting in the future, but that doesn't mean that your life has to be imbalanced. You are still in high school, so you are just inexperinced but as you gain more knowlege you will know how to react to get your life back in balance. I never really got out of balance much, but that is because I am different than most people in that sense. I really hope that I have helped you out some! *hugs*

!~* Best Friends Forever = Kaisui Tatsu ~ thingperson ~ PinkPrincessLacus *~!
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Quote by kaisui1tatsuWell, can't say I have ever felt this way, but you have a whole life
ahead of you. T.....

Thank you very much^^

Kojiroh

Mokona

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sorry, but ima guy.. ahh.. im wondering why yu dated the guy in the first place?? im thinking of the song by craig david - you dont miss the water till the well runs dry.. give your new friend a chance.. try opening up to him.. not too much or he might get annoyed.. lol.. but if hes really supportive.. im sure he'll try to understand where you're getting at.. and yea.. so my advice.. try opening up to your new friend.. hope one of us give yu good advice.. au revoir..

This above all, thine own self be true.

luckymouse

luckymouse

Always getting the last laugh

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i know im not a girl,but i know kinda how ya feel,i just came out of a relationship,it just one day we were taliing and hapy then bam it just hit me,but i just met this amazing girl shes an angel in all respect,yet after that break i really dont feel like i can live up to her standards,but when ya find your answer i hope it will answer mind to

I THOUGHT WHAT ID DO WAS PRETEND TO BE ONE OF THOSE DEAF-MUTES ^_^

  • Sep 28, 2005

Kitaan

Retired Moderator

Kitaan

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Well, I feel you shouldn't let this past boyfriend bother you in making you're
life better. You still have a future and if you dwell on this past boyfriend who has made you're life a living hell then you can't see a better future for yourself. Everyone should believe and know they deserve the best for themselves no matter what has happened to you in the
past it's just the past so why stay still in it and talk over how trashy you handle the situation? I'm not saying thats what you're doing, I'm making an example ^_^

Anyway you're a smart and beautiful girl, you should only except the best for yourself,
and we all know that our lives are messed up because well duh! life is unfair right?
but hey well all live with this crap and continue to deal with everyday life junk and as we move on we look back at the stuff we dwelled on and we laugh. For some it's not funny and for others it's hilarious but life is stupid and it's an adventure so never look back at something and see it as something thats keeping you back, just laugh and move on to you're future which you pick for yourself and remember, do it with smiles ^.^
Hope my advice helps sis Orihime <3 <3

Kiako

Kiako

the shadow

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well the way i see your past boyfriend has spent a lot of your time. and you two broke up.
so that is the past, the past that you must forget and live on. your first boyfriend has spent a lot of your time, don't let him spent even more of your time by thinking on him.
and you shouldn't feel the way you feel now, you should be happy because life has offered you another chance, so take the chance, don't let it go.

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I don't know if I understood all of that well, cause my english is limited, but well, if I'm not wrong, I just thnik that when a relationship end, it is so difficult that it could stay a traumatism quite a long time after. You know that you are not in fault, but this feeling you have is because (in my opinion) you are afraid of ending again, with the new guy. Well I'm not very clear, but in fact, what I mean is that when your relationship as ended with the precedent guy, it made you have a poor opinion of yourself, even if you know you've done nothing wrong, unconsciously you don't think so, and you're afraid that the new guy think the same as the first one and leave you all the same.
You can't really heal that sort of wound, but let time do it, accept the fact that if this new guy is in love with you, that's not for nothing, don't underestimate yourself, and ask the new guy to comfort you, it would be a great help for u

freaks

freaks

I am

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the nice things that you lived next to the other guy should make you happy and optimistique and should give you more experience in your new ralationship. like it's been said before,you have a entire life ahead of you,breaking up with somebody means no end, it's a shiny beginning,especialy when you're with somebody that nice as your actual boyfriend ^_^ . just see the bright side of everything. and memories are ment only to bring you a smile on your face! i hope my comment did too. take care.

  • Sep 28, 2005
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Quote by freaks just see the bright side of everything. and memories
are ment only to bring you a smile on your face! i hope my comment did
too. take care.


:nya: hahah it did thank you

Acuni

Acuni

wrapped in night

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well the thing is you shouldn't feel like this forget about the past and live the life that has been given to you right now this very moment you can do it and that i see you are in love with someone now all you should think is about him and you together you two can do it
don't live in the past live in tha future and be hapy as much as you can be that is the best you can do ^^

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Sanzosgirl19

Sanzosgirl19

KazukixJubei forever.

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Ok I no how you feel in more ways then one I was just in a very bad relationship with a guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. There were things about him that were not so great like he was always pressureing me in to things I didn't want to do like sex. I got over things like that but then I found out that he was cheating on me. The man I made so many scrafices for was cheating on me like I didn't even matter. So I understand where your coming from you are afraid of getting into a new relationship because your afraid of getting hurt again and that is understandable. Once your hurt it's very had to let someone new in and that doesn't mean that you don't love this new person in your life. You just don't want to be hurt. Take things slow don't rush and there's no need to. Get to no each othe rand slowly let things come undone. My life is very messed up as well and as soon as me and my old boyfriend broke up it just went down hill from there. You just have to think about it this way I bet your a really great girl and i bet that other guy you were with was not even close to being good enough for you. Don't let his influence on you life effect you anymore no that even tho you feel like crap the felling will pass and don't try and hide you feel bad express it feel bad write down your feelings watch sad movies cry what ever you need to do do it then after you have all that out of you body you'll be ready to move forward in your new and I bet even better relationship. Believe me when it comes to dweling on the past I'm the #1 person for that. Sometimes I just want to get away from everything and sometimes that's what you have to do don't feel bad for missing a day of school I bet that school is just makeing you feel worse take a day off and just do things you want to do. But i will say that you should talk to your new boyfriend and tell him that you want to take things a little slow at first. and if he's really a great guy he will understand. Take time to reflect on the things you did with this old boyfriend think of all the good times you had with him then think about how much you don't need him that think of all the great new experences your going to have with your new boyfriend your a great person and that jerk didn't deserve you. Let those bad things make you stronger that's the way I deal. I'm a better person from my last relationship and I bet if you really think about it you are to. I'm going into a new relationship as well and i feel your pain. Lets be friends. I want you to no that you can come to me anytime to vent don't keep it all inside talk about it. I hope the things I've said have helped. *Big Hug* I'm glad in a way that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Please feel free to PM me and we can talk more. I have other advice I can give you. it's just hard to write it all here. (*^_^*) Your great all you have to do is believe that. I'm going thru the samething and no that your not alone I'm here. Anytime day or night.

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  • Sep 28, 2005

OtakuHanzo

OtakuHanzo

Mew. =^_^=

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Well, I'm a guy as well, but I have had a few bad relationships in my time and it's always been me getting dumped for "the other guy". So, in a way, I think I might be able to give some helpful advice, so here goes...

First, you never mentioned how long you were in the relationship you just got out of. Spending a long time with someone and then breaking things off can leave a serious hole in your life that needs to be filled. I think what is happening is that, while you dumped the guy and don't love him anymore, you still have memories of your good times together and your thoughts are stuck on those. It's all in the past though. Remember why you broke up with him and let the past go. Do something to get your mind off him. Take a walk and look around at your surroundings. Definitely don't do anything you guys did together or walk anywhere you guys used to walk. Stay away from things that remind you of him and eventually you will get over it.

Secondly, perhaps there is something left unsaid. Something you need to tell him but never did. It could be anything. Something bad you did while you were together with him, or something bad he did that you never bothered pointing out. As I said, it could be anything. But do not dwell on this too much. If nothing comes to you right away, then please do the first part of my advice and, if something is there, it may eventually come to you.

Anyways, that's about the best I can do. I really hope it helps. And, I know it's part of my sig, but there is a quote that I truly love and wish to share with you.

"Never regret yesterday. Life is in you today. And you make your own tomorrows."

Pretty simple stuff, but definitely lays it down for how it is. Live for today and what you have, not for yesterday and what you don't have anymore.

Okay, I'll shut up now. =^_^=

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Sanzosgirl19

Sanzosgirl19

KazukixJubei forever.

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I also wanted to say that before you go into this new relationship with this new guy who you say you love you don't want to bring these old issuse that you have with your old boyfriend into the relationship you going to have with this new guy. You have to come to terms with the things from your old relationship before you go into this new one. If this guy really loves you he will wait for you you don't want to put all your old feelings about your old boyfriend into this new relationship it will cause problems in the future for you both. I no because I'm trying to sort out my old feelings but I'm in love with this new guy. And I want to be with him but I still have things to work out from my old relationship. maybe that's what your depressed about you still have things to work out from your old relationship. Do so before you go into this new one. If you have already started into this new relationship like I said before take things slow and explain to your new guy how your feeling if he really loves you he will understand. I'm sorry I'm writing so much. I just wanted to tell you. That's what friends are for. And like I said before I want to help you because I no how you feel more then you will ever no. Lol sorry again for writing so much.

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  • Sep 28, 2005
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I have never been in a relationship, but I have felt down in the way you have described.

I felt suicidal at one point. When I got into my new class, I almost felt like I didn't belong there.

  • Sep 28, 2005

crsg

crsg

Artemis

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I know a great many people who have felt this way, and its not unusual after being emoptionally connected to a person and then having that bond severed. Its because even if that relationship has ended and you've said goodbye to what you've had, you still feel as though that bond should be there, even if it no longer is. And you're left with a void of whatever that feels like it needs to be filled. You must believe, though, that at some point, even if its a long time away yet, things will be better. It won't stay like how you're feeling forever, and you just need to let it heal itself. Time doesn't make everything better and make you forget, but it does help after a while.

tripleG

tripleG

To simply be

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Well... I think that maybe it is it has to do with the fact that unconsiously you are afraid that this new guy can hurt you like your past boyfriend. However, I am positive that you will get over it with time (even if you don't know it yet). Just give yourself some time to accept and forget...

Well that's only my opinion tough...

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whiteflowers

whiteflowers

Blessed White Angel ^^

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well...I feel the same with my last boyfriend...that guy it was a "jerk",i realized that he really stinks.
I felt like my life was nothing that it has no sense....It was painful. but then my second and lovely boyfriend (now) is very diferent...is like very special with me.....and I am really in love with him.
well first I didn't want to have another boyfriend 'cause I was thinking that he will do the same like my 1º one. My way of thinking about guys were completely diferent....but then I realized that not all boys stinks and have shit in their minds. I fell deeply in love with him ( my boyfriend not my EX-boyfriend)...well in fact I started to love again and to have hope.
-o-
when this happen to me I take time to think and I really get over it and I feel great now, with someone special at my side that loves me and take real care of me.

I hope this helps a little toxictea23 ^^

kuroimisa

Retired Moderator

kuroimisa

Wizard of Darkness -under a rock

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I can't really say too much on this matter either... but yeah I did spend a lot of time with someone- a friend... and then I found out that every single goddamn thing they told me was either a lie told with their eyes wide open, or something they completely didn't mean at all. I haven't talked to him since.

The person I am today was a result of learning that I thought that this person was truthful. He always would tell me that he was honest and that everything he said was true... he told me that he kept promises... and needless to say, he was a nice person. He was a jackass at times because he doesn't really consider feelings beforehand, but overall, he really was a friendly person.

*sigh* Then he kinda ganged up with my friend to keep a secret from me and I was pissed. Really pissed. Because I was so damn stupid for thinking that he was my friend. I got sick from it... and I still am annoyed over it. All I can say is that I just don't want to see his face around ever again... though that's kinda impossible.

Now I find it hard to trust people or to fall into a goodhearted friendship with anyone really. I just... the way I see the world now is that ... those who are weaker or show kindness will get taken advantage of.

I think it's the same thing here toxic- you'll just have to learn to live on.
Distance yourself from these people if you have to.
I deleted this guy off my contacts so I wouldn't have to look at his name every time I used my phone or whatever. It really helps. Just don't think about him, and think that there are more worthy people to use your energies on.

Keep your head high and live the way you want to live. It won't help if you continue to make your life miserable. :)

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Yeah I understand how you feel........ think that you need to take some time out to fully heal the hurt and sadness that you're experiencing.
Don't shut yourself from the world - you're a beautiful person - it may be trying to help you along with the process.
Stay true to yourself (you dont have to be happy all the time), be open to your existing friends and those that will be your friends. Let others help make your world seem like a better place.

  • Sep 29, 2005

Mizuna

Mizuna

Lazy

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"Regrets are for those that label the past right or wrong"
Unfortunately, your ex-boyfriend seems to be on your mind despite what you've claimed about extracting him from your memory. Instead of looking away, face it, see past it, until it becomes transparent. He was a jerk, i can see you unconsciously linking problems to him and that point in time. Your current boyfriend is an orb of light in your darkness, that's a good start. Now, the hard part. Look back into your past, how did it change you to be whom you are in your current situation? If you can answer those questions (nobody else can, only you), then you'll begin to see how it has effected you, not just feel it.

As most have said, look on the bright side of things. I say, look at the bright side of things, AND the dark side of it also. You learn by seeing the whole coin, not just one side of it. Answers don't come in halfs.

I do not think your in a depression. Infact, this story of yours sounds nearly identical to my own many years ago. It is a state of confusion. You seek answers, yet you do not know where to start. Your question of whether you 'deserve' something or not will only lead to your guilty conscience, as you've stated already.

If you can imagine yourself in a third person perspective, then do that. Look at that person, see the past, how it has connected to your present. Only then, when you have found your answers, you will see your future clearly.

This may all sound like Psychological/Philosophical bull, if you do have questions, feel free to ask. All of this is easy for me to write, since I have found my own answers. However, during that time, it took me a few months to even find the one answer I had been looking for. The hardest part was accepting them, and then turning regret into wisdom. Good luck with your search, you will find what your looking for.

"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity..."

"One of life's greatest gifts, the gift of making a mistake."

  • Sep 29, 2005

moonbaby

moonbaby

<3 SOCCER

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Well I've never been in this situation, Or felt this way, so i can't be of any help...... But i wish you the best of luck in finding ur self....... If there is anthing else you would like to talk about feel free to PM and I'll see what I can do........ *hugs*

Loves Ya!!!!! (never forget that a lot of ppl love and care about u)

.... Yeaaaaaa... The Soccer Season Has Finally Started!!!
.... <3 My New Friends...
.... <3 M&M's... :D

  • Sep 29, 2005

gadgetgirl16

Butterfly of Gadgets

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yeah i know how you feel... you feel so loved by your realtionship with you ex then suddnly something happened between you both that made you guys fall apart then you have somebody new and is a gentle man then your ex....
yeah... ive been there and done that one and he broke up with me and blamed everything on me on what went wrong... and i was verry depressed on wanting him again and it bothered me for a year....sadly and now i have another boyfriend who is such a sweetheart and more manly then my ex who was a jerk. sometimes i do think about my ex and think back anmd how could i fixed the problem....
but now he makes me sick becouse he is weak by a long distence realtionship (he cant handle it by being so far away from his g/f even he is 2 states away) and both my boyfriend and i are verry strong on this long distence realtionship.... and we only see eachother if we are lucky with money for the bus trip almost 5 states away....

so yeah, i belive that you should forget the past and look into a brighter furture with your new boyfriend, even tho that you still think of your ex, but look into his weakness and how it went wrong and the reason behind it. ive looked into mine and found out that my ex was never strong on how much love can be... you should be there for your new boyfriend and know him verry well and you will forget your ex.... belive me, it works alot ^_^ *runs*

fooblued

fooblued

British Fetishist

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I think I know what you are going through... I went through a couple long term relationships when I was in highschool, that were less than ideal to put it mildly. After I was out of them I had trust issues with everything. The guy I am with, my ability to hold up my end of the relationship, and even the quality of my life (I think I was just bogged down by being cynical). At the beggining of my current relationship (four years on Oct 4th!)
You have to let go, I started so many fights and ran away just to see if he would chase me. I just didn't feel like A: Men could be faithful to a relationship or B: Men couldn't be faithful to me. When I say faithful I don't mean just messing around but lying, and being a jerk too. After I quit thinking about the past I moved on. And we are still very happy and living together. Relationships are never easy, and I think it is healthy to hold them to scrutiny and take time to evaluate them every so often. But don't worry, if you love him, and he loves you,stick with it and everything that is meant to be, will be :D

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