he broke my heart... i felt like dying...

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polarie

polarie

..my heart is crying out loud...

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it's been three days he's been completely mean and nasty to me while i tried to contact him.

we argued over something outside and he just asked me not be with him. ever since he's been very mean.

i felt that the relationship has no hope anymore. it has been on and off for the past almost 5 years.

i thought i still wanna be with him. but he just get irritated and angry. i thought maybe things would be better if we could meet up and talk about it. but he kept refusing to meet up.

he said i have no bargaining powers now.

i felt horrid. had been vomiting though i hadn't been eating for the past three days. a bit of water and maybe some solid food but that's about all. i lost 3kg too.

i couldn't concentrate on doing anything. i just stayed in bed and kept playing solitaire so that i couldn't think about anything else.

the only thing stopping me from ending my life is my dog. she still needs me. and maybe secretly i was hoping that maybe he might change his mind.

i had thought that today might have a chance to meet him after all he promised to meet me today. but he went back on his words and said tomorrow. i was asking why he broke his promise and he just said "just take it that i'm a jerk".

my head's spinning from probably too much crying. he said tomorrow we'll meet. but in the end, he realised he'll be meeting someone. when i asked who he only said "you don't need to know".

i'm going crazy. i wished he won't be so cruel. but it seems the more i tried to talk to him, the more he get mean.

i couldn't take it anymore. i thought since he wants to break up with me, i might as well take it. it's quite pointless to keep fighting when he's not willing. all i ask now is just to meet up with him and say goodbye face to face. he's not even willing. now he offers tomorrow. i doubt if he'll keep his promise. he'll probably change his mind again and i'll be shattered again.

i'm scared and sad... i've been hurt again & again & again i really don't wish to live through this nightmare again...

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I don't know the details of your quarrels, but perhaps you hurt his feelings (and ego) and he is expecting an apology?

  • Oct 31, 2005

shoebird

shoebird

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.... when one gets caught within the break and patch paradox, it usually means that the relationship is a hopeless one... the only reason why you stayed with this guy would be that you dread the feeling of being alone, without someone being there for you anymore... It is sad that people do not understand that...

Lift yourself from that deadend. you don't need a person that simply don't give you any respect! It will hurt... but it is something unavoidable... you have deceived yourself for 5 years now.. and it is time to face reality and end a hopeless relationship... Go on with your life girl... I pray that whoever you believe in bless you...

  • Oct 31, 2005

DakX

DakX

Inactivity strikes again

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I don't know how your relation ship was but this is not a normal way to end this sort of thing. Do you know why he is beeing so mean to you. Does he have a lot of stress or something. It could be that there is something thats is troubeling him at work. On the other hand, I know guy's who are afraid to get to involved in a relationship and push people away.
My best advice is to let him cool down for a while maybe he needs some time to think things trough.
I hope you get out of this ok.

Please excuse but my english isn't very wel but I am still learning.

  • Oct 31, 2005
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okie...let him relax first and ask him in a nice way why he's being mean when he's calmed...
if he's still acting like a jerk, find someone new...or talk to a fren, that helps to lighten the stress, u deserve someone better^^

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Fell free to totally and utterly ignore this cause I really dont have that much experience in the world of dating. However, if a guy was doing this to my sister I would tell her to leave him alone. He's hurting you and for no good reason that I can see. Your heart will heal given time and there is no reason you should have to put up with this. If you really want to give it another try leave him alone for a few days and then call him. If he's not ready to talk by then hes not worth your time, or pain.

If you were serious about the possibility of taking your life beacause of this I'd advise not spending alot of time alone. I would also advise reading Psalms in the Bible. They were written by several diffrent authors but a good number of them were written by King David when he was driven to the depths of dispair by his suffering, guilt, or uncertainty. If you believe it or not I find it helps.

  • Oct 31, 2005

TrinityLi

TrinityLi

innocence

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I don't know what's been happening in your relationship, but from just hearing how hurt you are, it must have been pretty bad. I STRONGLY suggest that you just let him go. If you keep calling him and bugging him to meet with you, he's just going to get more and more frustrated and he'll just keep treating you bad, he may even treat you worse. So just leave him alone now, for your own sake.

Relationships are very hard and there are going to be good ones and bad ones. Take this one as a learning experience. You now learned to avoid guys with his personality, you learned not to take disrespect from somone one, and, the most important lesson, is that you learned strength. You may feel really down and hurt now, but your courage and strength to overcome this breakup will take over.

Don't lose faith now, and NEVER consider ending your life because someone hurt you. You are a better person than he will ever be and we need sweet and strong people like you in this world. Prove to him that you don't need him in your life and the only way to do that is to prove that you're better off without him. Let him go, leave him alone, and you'll see that you'll feel better in no time.

Stay strong, keep your head up, and take care of yourself. I wish you the best. :)

.:Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana:.

  • Oct 31, 2005

cifiryn

cifiryn

~ Erase & Rewrite ~

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Hey! Take it easy... I promise it will get better with time... trust me... You'll get over this :)

It is ok to be sad, I mean it's normal, may be you should have a talk with this guy, or may be he is not worth your time, I don't know, since I don't really know much about this guy or the type of relatioship you 2 had...

Sometimes in life, a relationship that one thought would last forever, doesn't. That's just another part of life.

May be you 2 aren't "mean to be", may be braking up is for the best... If this is really true, and you 2 weren't "meant to be", then I'm sure you'll find "the one person for you". You are young ;) you will meet new people and sometime from now, you will be able to remember this moment as distant memory...

I did so... I had my good share of rough moments, but with time you get over this stuff...

Good luck! :)

  • Oct 31, 2005

SilentMasamune

SilentMasamune

I'm all washed up. . .

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I can conclude all of the above in one word...stress. You're stressed out because you don't want to leave your boyfriend, but he just keeps getting more and more upset with you everytime you try to get back together with him. On and off relationships seem to have problems at times, but if you don't work out things with your boyfriend or your boyfriend doesn't work things out with you, then you both are not true to each other. Two true people actually encourage each other and work problems out with each other so they could make the other feel better about himself or herself.

Your boyfriend doesn't seem to listen to you, more or less the fact that he is making you feel worse about things and yourself. People like him should just be ignored. Consider this...what has he done for you that was quite beneficial besides stay next to you when he was your boyfriend? If he hasn't really done a thing for you, you should consider moving on and finding someone else. New people will be met, so don't give up. It's not worth dying over one person who won't change his mind about being with you, so search for someone new and you'll be happier.

I did the same thing as you when my ex left me and my girlfriend helped me out, let alone helping her out in her time of need. The both of us got together by this circumstance, and we have been true ever since. So far, it's going on 5 to 6 months, and it's an online thing, something most people would think wouldn't last. So, try to move on...that seems to be the key these days.

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  • Oct 31, 2005

mukAi-

mukAi-

~juSt mE~

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Quote by polarie the only thing stopping me from ending my life is my dog. she still needs me. and maybe secretly i was hoping that maybe he might change his mind.

wow. Thats bad. Just reading that line made me feel a whole lot of sympahy toward you. You dont need to go that far, its not worth it.....Just give it time. Your wounds will heal

After hearing what you have said throughout your entire post, i got the image that u CLEARLY deserve beter. Its not worth clinging to someone whos going to treat you like a peice of shit. Hes putting others ahead of u and its having its obvious effects.

I dont know wat else to say....I wouldnt have a clue how u feel exactly simply because i have never been in a positon like yours before. One thing is clear tho. You dont deserve to b treated like that by ANYONE!

That one line that u said..........i feel soo sorry for you just after reading that one line.

I really do hope all will go well for u. Dont give up d(^^)b

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  • Oct 31, 2005

GenmaSaotome

lover not a fighter

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I was recently experiencing something similar....My girlfriend that I was blindly in love with treated me like crap and eventually ended up leaving me for one of my friends. It was really hard for a while but you have to understand that the only way you can be happy is just by letting go. Do what you need to get it right in your head but just letting go and accepting the changes that have been forced on you is the only way to go. Once you do that its just a matter of moving on with what you can still effect and building upon that. People might think your crazy for not getting wrapped up in the inevitable human drama but just realize there are bigger things in life than all the dumb BS that people tend to get wrapped up in. And suicide is never an option because it is a cop out on the people who love you. And there is always at least one person who loves you.

  • Oct 31, 2005

lordofgamblers

lordofgamblers

wazzzzzzzzzzuuuuuppppp!!!!!!!!

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the guy's a dumbass let him cool off and don't take it to seriously though you can get seriously ill from stress but look on the bright side there are alot of guys out there who are good people and just have the bad luck of finding the right person you seem like a nice person don't feel down and out find someone else

of all the foods in the world donuts reign supreme

  • Oct 31, 2005

Kryuzei

Kryuzei

Moe's Hunter :D

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never choose death >.< !
you'll regret it when you choose it >.< !
just go and break up...
well, this sound kinda harsh, but still this is the best choice. but still, talking like this somehow..i know maybe you didn't want to break up, but of course the choice is yours ^^;
another one is to talk to him, or maybe stalk him, nah....just go talk to him whe you find a chance ^^

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Kiako

Kiako

the shadow

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ok. i'll make this short, you have to forget hem and live your life like you did before, you didn't need him before and you don't need him now so forget about him and forget about the past live for today. by being mean to you he lost his chances so when he again offers you to meet him say that you're bussy and you can't or just think of an excuse.
because looking at how he is to you it is 85% that he hurt you and now he want's to finish you with telling you that you two will meet, because he knows that by telling you to meet on this and this day and then canceling the meeting, he will only hurt you more. so the way i see it you shouldn't let him do that, you should get back at him, because you can't allow him to treat you like this.
that's the way i see it because if someone would do that to me, i would get back at him so badly that he would curse the day he met me.

Devildude

Devildude

- Alstroemeria Records -

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i don't know what is the real issue of your argument but i want you to listen to me and listen well
DON'T YOU DARE LET GO OF YOURSELF YOU HEAR ME?!

I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE TOTALLY SAD AND DEPRESSED BUT THERE IS MORE

THAN ONE PERSON WHO CARES FOR YOU, THEY ARE YOUR PARENTS, YOUR DOG,

YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND WHOEVER ELSE IN YOUR LIFE YOU COME

ACROSS, SO DON'T YOU DARE SAY YOU GONNA DIE BECAUSE OF ONE BASTARD OF A BOYFRIEND IN YOUR LIFE.

YOU STILL HAVE A LIFE AND PLEASE STOP SAYING YOU ARE GONNA DIE BECAUSE OF THIS FELLA. OK

I HAVE SYMPHATY FOR YOU AND I REALLY HOPE THAT YOU WILL GET OVER THIS AND MOVE ON, HE IS NOT TALKING TO YOU, FINE, DUMP HIM, YOU DESERVE BETTER, HE DOES NOT WANT TO RETAIN THE RELATIONSHIP SCREW HIM AND MAKE HIM REGRET HE HAS EVER SAID THOSE WORDS, YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN HIM MAKING YOU SO SAD....

SO WAKE UP AND WASH YOUR FACE, TAKE A SHOWER AND TO A BRAND NEW DAY AND DON'T DWELL WITH SADNESS FOR ONE PATHETIC FELLA!
OK?

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i jus learned this in psychology and im not an expert in this kind of stuff...if your relationship is worth saving then give him like a week or two to think things through...if not then jus move on...have your friends to help you out to keep your mind off of him...i help my friends alot...ok whateva you fought or said to him maybe upseted him...jus give him time...guys natrally do that all time...try not to talk too much unessesary stuff...jus keep it clean and straight to the point...if you do then he would put up a barrier again...quote from my teacher, "if all fails, both of you walk to your bedroom, take everything off, and everything will be forgotten"...he said it would works all the time

dont think about death...i hate losing a person in this world...if you do then i will personally chase you to the underworld and smack the dookie out of you ^^ cheer up ok...and eat...you'll feel alil better if you do

life is but a dream...
my soul belongs to meli-chan

  • Oct 31, 2005
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my advice is to give up on him and find someone else, although you wont forget about it time will heal the hurt that you feel.
There is a person out there that treat you better then that!
Im not sure what happened but you tell him that your fed up with him and tell him your gonna lead a better life without him!
my motto is live a carefree life. If these things happen, then it happens, relax, move on and never look back!

jocelyn08

jocelyn08

Honey & Clover

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hmm..*huggies*
dont choose to end you live..it's not worth to do so..
you'll get over it ..
remember dont think about suicide..><
look around, you'll find out there're lots of people who care about you ><

Avatar credit goes to cryingstar~

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suicide is a good idea :D if is what she realy wants to do...

frustration,friendly,envy,emptiness, unhapyness,unbrearable,Love,hatred, agony,dark,lonely,and in pain
you can all die..nobody cares.i'll enjoy

Devildude

Devildude

- Alstroemeria Records -

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Quote by Kenedysuicide is a good idea :D if is what she realy wants to do...

look dude she is a friend of mine and you aint helping sh*t here giving stupid advices and nonsense feedback so best you be in control of your words.

and if you are thinking of complaining you best tell me so in the face, coz i don't like people who fling around in serious threads like this. especially this line that you said to her. ok.

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The wind of destiny blows, and the descendant shall walk the earth once more...

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roger Devildude master
edit ; wanna know something funny
if she realy wants kill herself she never say it here
i think that ppl should do what they wish to do..if she wants do that them let she do it . anyway if i were going to kill me i never say it here , cuz if i do so . i'll never kill myself (all the ppl who say "i want to die" on public" . never end doing it .
all the ppl who say something like that never going to do it .

frustration,friendly,envy,emptiness, unhapyness,unbrearable,Love,hatred, agony,dark,lonely,and in pain
you can all die..nobody cares.i'll enjoy

lthnadml

lthnadml

Chasing shadows . . .

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He don't deserve to you . . . Devildude *thumbs up* i agree with you . . . XD XD XD

A nocturnal concerto,Candlelight whispers me where to go,Hymn of gathering stars as my guide,As I wander on this path of the night

Devildude

Devildude

- Alstroemeria Records -

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Quote by Kenedyroger Devildude master
edit ; wanna know something funny
if she realy wants kill herself she never say it here
i think that ppl should do what they wish to do..if she wants do that them let she do it . anyway if i were going to kill me i never say it here , cuz if i do so . i'll never kill myself (all the ppl who say "i want to die" on public" . never end doing it .
all the ppl who say something like that never going to do it .

still, just in case if she really does that, think you gonna live with it...i sure as hell don't, i hate to see people die. i witnessed my closest gang member (female) die when she got her heart broken by some unfaithful bastard, so i have my views as well. she dies unworthy of that man, i was a lot harsher back then and i almost swore i killed him in a act of fury, got a police warrant for violence in public too...

that was my gang story so back to here.
Polarie...listen to me and pull yourself together ok.
don't let loose yet, never do so. you are far to young.

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The wind of destiny blows, and the descendant shall walk the earth once more...

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Quote by shoebird.... when one gets caught within the break and patch paradox, it usually means that the relationship is a hopeless one... the only reason why you stayed with this guy would be that you dread the feeling of being alone, without someone being there for you anymore... It is sad that people do not understand that...

Lift yourself from that deadend. you don't need a person that simply don't give you any respect! It will hurt... but it is something unavoidable... you have deceived yourself for 5 years now.. and it is time to face reality and end a hopeless relationship... Go on with your life girl... I pray that whoever you believe in bless you...


Couldn't agree more......

merged: 11-01-2005 ~ 02:06am

Quote by Devildude

Quote by Kenedyroger Devildude master
edit ; wanna know something funny
if she realy wants kill herself she never say it here
i think that ppl should do what they wish to do..if she wants do that them let she do it . anyway if i were going to kill me i never say it here , cuz if i do so . i'll never kill myself (all the ppl who say "i want to die" on public" . never end doing it .
all the ppl who say something like that never going to do it .

still, just in case if she really does that, think you gonna live with it...i sure as hell don't, i hate to see people die. i witnessed my closest gang member (female) die when she got her heart broken by some unfaithful bastard, so i have my views as well. she dies unworthy of that man, i was a lot harsher back then and i almost swore i killed him in a act of fury, got a police warrant for violence in public too...

that was my gang story so back to here.
Polarie...listen to me and pull yourself together ok.
don't let loose yet, never do so. you are far to young.


I agree ending your life is not the answer. I thought of suicide once. You think that you'll be happy and that your suffering will end, but what of those around you? Your family, friends, etc. By ending your life you cause more suffering to those you know and it something that they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives. Do you wish to put them trough that? I dont think you do...

Dont worry you have a whole life ahead of you. You should move on and seek someone who really cares for you and appreicate you. Believe me things will get better just give it time.

"I've had too many stand-offs with you and its about as much as I can stand."

  • Oct 31, 2005

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