Stay as friend or confess?

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Kanvas

Kanvas

Treasures-of-Life Collector

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This is a situation that I'm in -_- . If one has a good friend, but overtime one falls in love. And he knows that the girl would rejects him if he confesses, and they can never go back to be friends again. Should that one keep silence and they can stay as good friend? Or should one confesses the feeling anyway, knowing that he might loose a good friend (and end up with no gf either)? Or should he do something else? :(
I might have not done a very goo explaination there and it may sound ver obvious to you. But it's not for me. Any advice will help OX

-Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

-If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.
-------Theodore Roosevelt---------

Prydey

Prydey

Once a Saint, Always a Saint...

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How about u think whether, is staying her friend more important to you, or confessing that u love her? Are u so sure she will reject you? ^_^' I'm not really sure what kinda advice to give, jus choose the option u prefer.

Honour above all, except vengeance...

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  • Nov 06, 2005

llxcharlenexll

llxcharlenexll

Love Me For Me

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its really hard to say i think its actually ur decision..u might regret if u didnt tell her about ur feelings..

  • Nov 06, 2005

defrax-

defrax-

SARS survivor

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The best lovers are always good friends, after all thats what a relationship is supposed to be: a partnership. Just don't get offended if your partner doesn't see you that way ^_^

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It all depends on the person, some might panic and outright reject you. Others may be fine with it but not interested in you that way. The more tactful you can put it the better. Like, with my g/f, we've been going out and dating for around a half a year. She likes to give me hugs and show affection in different ways. As I see it, I'm interested in her and would like to confess my love.

What I plan on doing is waiting until her job slows down so she isn't stressed, tell her I have some things I want to talk to her about. How about going out to dinner? I planned on buy her some flowers too.

"I've been thinking a while about this. I really like you and I would like to be more than just friends. I love your personality and we seem to have a lot in common. I was wondering if you had similar feelings about me? Nevertheless, if you're not ready I understand and would like to still be good friends."

I know it's easier for me to play it out right now, and probably a lot harder saying it to her face, but those have been my plans for the past couple weeks.

  • Nov 06, 2005
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Hm, what I would do is give hints to the person of your love. if he/she accepts them, make your move. if not, and you don't want to risk your relationship with the person, don't tell her about your feelings, maybe time will come where he/she really falls in love with you and your chance might show up in your face.

  • Nov 06, 2005

SOUL-BLADE

SOUL-BLADE

Waking Dreamer

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Ahh...the old want to be more than friends scenario ^_^' Thats a tricky one. I guess it really depends if being your firend isn't enough anymore.

I knew a guy who use to hang out with this girl, and they seemd to be good friends, enjoying each other's company. Though, one day he told me he had greater feelings for her and wondered if she should tell her. I had no idea what type of feelings she had for him, and i really wasnt sure it was a good idea :\ ...but in the end he had to get it off his cheast.

Unfortunately, it was an unrequited love :(. Yes, he has probably never seen her again, and yes, he was a love sick mess for a couple of weeks. but in the end, before u knew it...he actually got himself a different girlfriend and is happy now.

Point of the story, you're not the first person to be in the situation, and u could get crushed or find a new level of happiness. Either way, life will go on and you'll bounce back if u need to, the important thing is to keep going forward, isn't better than being stuck with indecsion ;)

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man am i glad i found this thread....too bad its a lil late. i was in that situation...i confessed and all i got was lets just be friends and lets see what happens. but i think the best way to approach something this tricky is just to go with the flow.

  • Nov 06, 2005

sophierose

sophierose

The Moonlight Angel

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Quote by elixeus"I've been thinking a while about this. I really like you and I would like to be more than just friends. I love your personality and we seem to have a lot in common. I was wondering if you had similar feelings about me? Nevertheless, if you're not ready I understand and would like to still be good friends."

awww.... that is so sweet!

Personally, I think that if you have reli deep feelings for this girl then u should tell her. If you are reli good friends and she doesn't feel the same way then i'll sure she'll be flattered and your friendship will be stronger and if she feels the same way, wel... then ur sorted! :)

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''The Moonlight May Shine Where Things Can Be Discovered........But My Love For You Will Never Leave My Heart''

  • Nov 06, 2005

Yumi-Chan

Yumi-Chan

chibi~ <3

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haha i've never confessed in my life. my boyfriend, i didnt confess him. my friend has an itchy mouth, he had to tell my bf :X.. it was coincidentle that he liked me too O_O.. so i was lucky.
you can be lucky too. you cant be sure that you'll be rejected! but if you really think sticking as friends would be a better decision, it's all good.

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ultimate540

ultimate540

Innocence Fleeting

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"I've been thinking a while about this. I really like you and I would like to be more than just friends. I love your personality and we seem to have a lot in common. I was wondering if you had similar feelings about me? Nevertheless, if you're not ready I understand and would like to still be good friends." It would be wonderful if everyone had the courage to say that.

  • Nov 06, 2005

outofphase

outofphase

Xenophile

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I say... Do it! Do it now! Because we both know you'll just keep thinking about it untill you finally do confess

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  • Nov 06, 2005

johngimen

johngimen

E.Y.A.I.M.

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"live ur life how u want to"

dont ask us, when u r in love, everything is up to u. but my advice is freaking go for it.. u may lose a friend, but u can gain a lover. just speak ur heart, because damping down ur feelings will hurt u even more than getting rejected.

follow ur heart, abandon ur brain
i aint that smart, but ill keep what i gain

phaerax

phaerax

devoted spammer/leecher

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confess. either you ll succeed and be really happy or you ll be able to get her out of your mind and move on. if shes a true friend then you ll even be able to mend things afterwards somehow. ok it might take some time but its not the end.

it was i.... I SAVED YOU!

Admin of TYPE-MOON-Ouendan

  • Nov 06, 2005

Kiako

Kiako

the shadow

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confess, it can't be that bad.

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I say confess because that "opportunity only comes once in a lifetime" ;)
Just make sure you say it at the right time. :D

Edit: One of my co-workers
went like this...

One day he bought in a lovely lady and said he is my friend
then it became girl friend and later on she became his wife.
So I guess he confessed on how he felt. Plus she did not left him.

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  • Nov 06, 2005

kirchu

kirchu

Ryo

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Well, I would say confess because you'll probably wonder all your life what happens if you do confess.

I confessed to the guy I like, and he hasn't talked to me for three whole months. But we started talking again when September started so that was good. The awkwardness that I would normally have with him is not really there anymore either. It feels like I'm easier to be myself.

Yeah. :P

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Well I say you should confess first..well it is your true feelings isn't it? Because if you don't it would make you feel uncomfortable around the person knowing the person doesn't know how you feel about them...If it doesn't work out as in no then that just means that you aren't allowed to go any further but this doesn't mean that you guys can't still be friends...Just keep that in mind.

  • Nov 07, 2005

oceansoul

Soulless Automaton

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I reckon that you should tell her how you feel.

I was in a similar situation with the girl who is now my ex, we were friends so I didn't metion that I liked her more than that. The reason that we got together was that I got drunk enough to mention this to one of her friends and thus she found out. Apperently she had been thinking the same as me, wanting to mention it but afraid that it would ruin our freindship.

Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
With strawberry gashes all over - Strawberry Gashes by Jack Off Jill

  • Nov 07, 2005

Kyoo69

me -> Kyo`

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Depends. I would propably shut up and play along, being friends. But if I just couldn't get over with it, I would confess (in a good moment tho) and didn't care about the result. Otherwise I wouldn't feel like looking in the mirror.

up up and away

smilebit

smilebit

aristocat

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is it really love? will it last if she acknowledges your confession? i've been in this situation before, but i didn't love the girl in the traditional sense. i loved her, as a friend, as someone to be around. i loved her for i felt comfortable when i was near her. nothing more nothing less. do you love her as a friend, or is it really something more? if it is more say so and know what you are saying, then deal with the consequences. if it is love as a friend tell her as well. friends care for each other and if such a friendship shatters because one friend tells the other they care for them, there wasn't much of a friendship to begin with.

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if you treasure your current friendship and you can see that the two of you having a future together i say go for it ! .. you dont want to live your life regretting that you didnt tell that person how u trully felt about them .. but you have to ask yourself do you trully love them .. you dont want to say something uncessary think about it ...

[ J a g W a s H e r e ]

  • Nov 17, 2005

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