{POEM} Even.Angels.Fall

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You think you make this world sad,
like there's no place for you,
You think you brought evil to this land,
and all the people abused,

God knows that even angels fall,
you don't have to hurt yourself,
And avoid God's call,
For you, my heart melts....

You will fly and you will fall,
but you don't know that.....
You are everything to the world,
you brought all of us LIFE,

Learn to accept yourself,
like we all do to you,
And find your way back,
to the loving soul we lack....

We need you and your heart,
even God's calling you back,
You brought us everlasting love,
do you even realize that you're an ANGEL...

You try to hide your pain,
but it's all in vain,
For we feel it too by looking into your eyes,
so try and breathe as we'll be waiting....

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My Newest Submission:Curse Of The Prosperity God

XDE

XDE

Scanning XDE, CPA: Unknown

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Good Poem, And Thanks

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xandman

xandman

The King of Hearts

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ok.... here's the thing.... miraculously, i was able to read 8 lines of that poem, then my mind went blank. Now.... what to say, keep going? Stop in the name of goddess? I don't know...

how about this. It sucks, but you do exactly what you want to do and don't let others criticizm take you down now yeah? :3

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j0n0

j0n0

Increadibly Cute

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I personally don't agree with the whole God thing, but your poem is off to a good start. The main problem with the poem is that the ideas keep on jumping around and aren't linked well. But good start.

An eye for an eye brings justice, but it is compassion that changes a man.

Another point of view doesn't necessarily make yours more or less right.

  • Nov 09, 2005
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Quote by xandmanok.... here's the thing.... miraculously, i was able to read 8 lines of that poem, then my mind went blank. Now.... what to say, keep going? Stop in the name of goddess? I don't know...

how about this. It sucks, but you do exactly what you want to do and don't let others criticizm take you down now yeah? :3


ooOOo ^_^' okie...no comment here, this wasn't one of my best works XD

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My Newest Submission:Curse Of The Prosperity God

DarkSavior

DarkSavior

~Death's Adversary~

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I agree it might not be your best poem but it was still good compare to so many others. Though I know I shouldn't compare ^_^' Keep it up and you only get better I believe...

I'd rather be hated for who I am rather than loved for who I pretend to be...

  • Nov 09, 2005
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Don't really understand but I don't think it sucks. Anyways, I didn't know angels fell. I've never heard of that

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melissa-clyne

feel the music...

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I like i very much thought I can't say a thing cuz I don't know nothing about poems XD bue I really like it, if you analize it you can find some errors like the ones mentioned before but its a good start so keep up the good work! I like it a lot^^

Don't be sad because it finished, be happy because it happened...

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  • Dec 11, 2005

griffin

griffin

Super Natty

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Nice sentiment. I faultered a bit over your rhyme scheme in the middle section. I actually think it has a lot of potential and you should leave it be for a while and then rework it.

  • Dec 12, 2005

LonelyFriend

Hi Ha said Hey

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Wow....very nice poem you did ! Looks like I can learn something here.

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