Warning: Undefined array key "HTTP_ACCEPT_LANGUAGE" in /var/www/minitokyo/www/includes/common.inc.php on line 360 [POEM] So Lucky - Minitokyo

[POEM] So Lucky

page 1 of 1 15 total items

AngelKate

AngelKate

~*Lady Sweetness*~

Is this where we are posting poems now? If not, mods, feel free to move this. My bad. :)

Anyway, I know I haven't written anything new lately, but here I have finally composed something. :) I hope you all enjoy it. I wrote this for my boyfriend. Thank you for reading. :)

So Lucky

As I float away from dreamland
Into the world of consciousness
I can feel your arm around me
And I hear your gentle breathing
And all I can think
Is how did I get so lucky?

We sit side by side
In the theatre holding hands
I watch you smiling
And laughing at the screen
Your hand tightens around mine
And you smile back at me
And all I can think
Is how did I get so lucky?

In the corner of the couch, I curl up
Crying softly
You're upset with me
But you soften at my tears
You scoop me up in your arms
Pulling me close, telling me it's all right
And as I cuddle closer
All I can think
Is how did I get so lucky?

As I float away from consciousness
Into the world of dreamland
I can feel your arm around me
And hear your gentle breathing
And as I drift away to sleep
All I can think
Is how did I get so lucky.

Signature Image
Not really walling much anymore D: Feel free to browse my gallery, though!
Thank you for the siggy and avy, Kitten! ^_^

you heard what I thought about this one on FGF. And in short for others, it was a little strange when I read it...you can click the link and view my critique of this poem under the poetry section with this poem's thread...

griffin

griffin

Super Natty

It's a fantastic poem.

I'm very envious of your boyfriend and your poem leaves me lonely.

jasaiyajin

jasaiyajin

-repeat-

It reminds me of Shoku's poetic structure here at MT. It's very warm and heartfelt, one nice idea from the next.

I don't usually *see* it, but right now it's one of those simple poems... however, the subtlety of the moments like that really brings forth it's beauty...

i can just *see* it now ~ appreciate it.

-repeat-

well...the how did I get lucky part is a bit annoying as it is repetitive..no offense, overall, it's not so bad..

Signature Image
My Newest Submission:Curse Of The Prosperity God

Shoku

Shoku

Looking for past friends

Quote by jasaiyajinIt reminds me of Shoku's poetic structure here at MT. It's very warm and heartfelt, one nice idea from the next.

I don't usually *see* it, but right now it's one of those simple poems... however, the subtlety of the moments like that really brings forth it's beauty...

i can just *see* it now ~ appreciate it.

like one of my poetic structure? Angel, I have to agree that some phrases are a bit repetive, but overall, not bad of a poem; I guess that you beat me in poem writing?!

TimothytheDarkMagician

TimothytheDarkMagician

The True Dark Magician

Wow! great poem kate! good job!

Signature Image

Cornetvee

Cornetvee

~| LosT WiNgs |~

Wonderful! I love it! ;)

Signature Image
~ If what letters tell are called stories, are unspoken words a dream? ~
Many tnx Milkysan for the wonderful siggy! ;)

moonelf313

Scanner

moonelf313

Just Pinky...

Great Poem! So sweet....I am so glad you are happy with your boyfriend! :)

Signature Image
I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit

AngelKate

AngelKate

~*Lady Sweetness*~

Quote by Milkiyowell...the how did I get lucky part is a bit annoying as it is repetitive..no offense, overall, it's not so bad..


That's the point...its supposed to be repetative....


Thank you to everyone though for your kind words. :)

Signature Image
Not really walling much anymore D: Feel free to browse my gallery, though!
Thank you for the siggy and avy, Kitten! ^_^

j0n0

j0n0

Increadibly Cute

I think it is really nice and well put together. The tone (in this case, a soft gentle female voice) is consistent throughout the whole poem. And yeah, the repetative "how did i get so lucky" adds to the main theme. In fact, it is the theme. Great job.

An eye for an eye brings justice, but it is compassion that changes a man.

Another point of view doesn't necessarily make yours more or less right.

Quote by griffinIt's a fantastic poem.

I'm very envious of your boyfriend and your poem leaves me lonely.

I like the poem! Very sweet. :D I kinda have the same feeling as griffin. :nya:

#JapaneseLover#

GintheTwilightswords

GintheTwilightswords

Burn away the regret and dread.

Beautiful poem Kate, you have a true voice for poetry.
how did you come up with the premise of the poem anyway? I interested in that

Signature Image
Dear sister you shall always hold a place in my heart

CLAMPchic

CLAMPchic

I'm just me

Okay, I know you've said you don't mind late responses, but 5 weeks is utterly ridiculous. I'm sorry *bows* It's my fault; whenever I've signed into MT it was only to moniter the poetry contest since school's keeping me short on time.

Anyway, on to the poem commentary. You've done it once again, Kate; another well-done piece of work. I love the repetitive aspect in the last line; it helps emphasize the point of the poem (congrats on finding that wonderful guy, btw). The way you gave each stanza a different setting and a different aspect as to why this guy makes you feel "so lucky" was also really cool.

You can tell that this one comes from the heart, and those can be the best types.

Signature Image
"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always be what you've always been." ~ Anonymous

bobveil

bob

this poem picked me off my feet and throw me in the air. if this poem had a rating system then i will give this poem a 100 out of 100

bob

page 1 of 1 15 total items

Back to Off-topic Discussions | Active Threads | Forum Index

Only members can post replies, please register.

Warning: Undefined array key "cookienotice" in /var/www/minitokyo/www/html2/footer.html on line 73
This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse the site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Read more.