Rhythm and Poetry

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Alden

Alden

Lose the Pride.

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I dun Know

Careful now, ice on the lane
ice on the grain, ice on the chain
two steps back and I'm seeing the plane

loadin' the stuff, getting into the car
I aint Denzel but I know I'm a star
drivin' somewhere, somewhere afar
speedin past 70 and passin' the bar

waiting on stand by shufflin' some cards
I ain't that sketchy so I'm ignorin' the lards
picked up the Ace, tore up like shards
flinged the cards in the air, I don't need 'em cards

counted the loot, this I need
there are many mouths to feed
so ya gotta respect my g's
hit the store and it 'ill be all on me.

:pacman:What do you guys think?

Click ----> Japanese Lover! ^_^

  • Dec 29, 2005

happygreendragonfly

happygreendragonfly

The Cheerful Person

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LOL! It RHYMES! LOL! ^__^
I LOVE!
*hugs Alden*
So why did you write this poem? Any special feelings? ^__^
*secretly, I'm just so happy that this poem is SHORT or else I wouldn't read it... I'm so bad!*
I still ADORE you! ^__^

  • Dec 29, 2005
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hahaha..this is nice..like a story..
erm..cowboy style I might say...lol..I can picture all the guns and horses XD

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My Newest Submission:Curse Of The Prosperity God

j0n0

j0n0

Increadibly Cute

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That was new, talking about short little rhymes back and forth. Don't get me wrong, its good, I'm just not used to seeing such a poem. Good job.

An eye for an eye brings justice, but it is compassion that changes a man.

Another point of view doesn't necessarily make yours more or less right.

  • Dec 31, 2005

Shinkonokokoro

Shinkonokokoro

The Dreamer

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I like it a lot. It flows very nicely. It seems very natural, and the vernacular works well for it.

Hana-Kimi-Love
Wings-Lovers
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