wondering ...[POEM]

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BlkLotus

BlkLotus

bara tsukiyo

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I used to be happy
bu now feeling lonely and forgotten
I sit and wait
for what i am uncertain

My heart heavy
and my patience running thin
i begin to wonder
will it ever end?

This loneliness is getting to me
making me wonder, making me think
Why i'm never talked to anymore

am i to forward or am i to shy
or is there a certain gleam in my eye

I dont understand and not sure i care
wondering why i have been left here?

be gentle if you must critique

rituel

rituel

kLepToMAniaX Designs

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This is my first EVER poem critique, so it might not mean much. I'm not good at poems, but I definitely felt something while reading this. That's good, right?
forgive the lack of constructive criticism -_-

  • Feb 07, 2006

cloud-sama

cloud-sama

The Dark Lord

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i like it i relly like it well done well done *claps*

This world shall burn in the fires of hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Feb 07, 2006

j0n0

j0n0

Increadibly Cute

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Quote by BlkLotus be gentle if you must critique

You always say this, i know you can handle much more harsh critisisms. So here goes one; it SUCKS, it sucks soooooo baaaaaddd that a hoover vacuum cleaner couldn't compare to the sucking power of your poem. (lame joke, i know :D) So you should just QUIT, GIVE UP, THROW IN THE TOWEL and go suck somewhere else!

P.S. If you couldn't catch the sarcasm, you really do suck :)

An eye for an eye brings justice, but it is compassion that changes a man.

Another point of view doesn't necessarily make yours more or less right.

  • Feb 07, 2006
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To tell you the truth alot of it kindda reminds me of me. Alot.

merged: 02-08-2006 ~ 01:48am
Oh forgot to add that it was really good to. Haha ^^

  • Feb 07, 2006

dezidez

dezidez

fanatic

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hmmm...yea... this is just wat I wonder about myself lately...
its been bugging me for a long while... this poem just makes me look at myself more as a person and what Ive become... from then and now....
well I must say this great poem BLk another Job well done of a creation in talent you have...keep up the wonderful job! :D

This signature violates the signature guidelines, thus it has been removed.

  • Feb 08, 2006

AC2N

AC2N

Assez de haine...

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great and sad...
the two biggest things for a good poem...
this is simply awesome !
thanx a lot for that, love !

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Invincible

Invincible

Angel and Sierras Guardian

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Ahhhh how sad...

BTW she is back...back to writing poems.Hehe

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Never fight with the Invincible

WolfMaster

WolfMaster

The Hunter

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it would seem your feeling lost and unwanted and for that I'm sorry, but know you are wanted

  • Feb 10, 2006

JadeTigress

JadeTigress

kawaii dorei

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hmmmm good i think. maybe could have been a bit more of something not sure what

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  • Feb 11, 2006

wolfling

wolfling

otonashii okami

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you will never be forgotten ever you are to nice...
and good job on the poem :)

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Thanx to my friend AC2N for the nice nice av as well cute userpage... *kiss and hugs*

  • Feb 11, 2006

animefreak3

animefreak3

Serpentarius

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We make the settings for our lives to unfold. Either inaction, or action it remains true.

We begin and end in nothingness. Our darkness is confronting our ultimate nature, for nothing can come from nothing. We must sow the wind and reap the void, since the now is all we have. Together, we walk in darkness.

  • Feb 13, 2006
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hmmm.....
not really sure what to say but this poem reminds me of me
I like it.

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