[POEM] A life for a life

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BlkLotus

BlkLotus

bara tsukiyo

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on silent feet you follow
in the shadows you hide
waiting for the right moment to strike

the hatered is in your eyes
as you stare at my progress
your fingers itching
wanting to land the final blow

knowing that you will be at peace
you inch forward
the closer you get
the harder your heart grows

cold and distant are your feelings
calm and collected your nerves
as you land the final blow

standing over me
gloating in your victory
a final tear falls from me
your venegance complete
your heart returned...


a life for a life


critique if you want
i know not my usual type but hey what can i say....
-_-

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WOW!
Simply amazing! :D

You should really start publishing a book of your poems
you can make millions! XD

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  • May 13, 2006

rituel

rituel

kLepToMAniaX Designs

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"ouch..." is all i can say..

  • May 14, 2006
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your poem is really good,but I perfer ones that ryhme and I never believe in taking lives you still have a way with words :)

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JadeTigress

JadeTigress

kawaii dorei

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well sis... what brought this on?
its good..dark...vengeful..not really sure what else i could say about it..
should i even ask whom this is meant for........?

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  • May 15, 2006

bobobob

bobobob

wandering

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wow that is amazing^^. keep the good writing up.

  • May 17, 2006

cloud-sama

cloud-sama

The Dark Lord

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wow that was awsom relly good

This world shall burn in the fires of hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • May 17, 2006

DREAM

DREAM

Lord of Dreams

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as lady shadowcat23 mentioned this poem does not follow the comfortable ABAB ryhme scheme that most have become accustomed to, BUT to me it seems honest and it is very dark and powerful as well..

what could be worse that causing the death of, or dying at the hands of a loved one?
lady death can't be cheated and most time we cannot control the time it occurs, but still................

it's is darker than your poetry [in general] that I have read but i love it..
beautiful job as always........
: rose :

btw- what does "bara tsukiyo" mean?

wolfling

wolfling

otonashii okami

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa
ok now I am scared... uh o.O
wow *looks over shoulder* you did a awesome job holy heck...wow uh not sure what else to say :D

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Thanx to my friend AC2N for the nice nice av as well cute userpage... *kiss and hugs*

  • May 19, 2006
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very nice i like dark poetry :)

merged: 05-20-2006 ~ 02:16am
very nice i like dark poetry :)

  • May 19, 2006

sukumei

sukumei

Running A Critiquing Service

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yeah you can make millions for sure! its'eed be pretty good.

I would like to run a friendly critiquing service for Minitokyo artists. I will try to make my opinions professional and defiantly unbiased although i will speak ideas for the general public. Critiquing service MT thread

  • May 20, 2006
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Is this about revenge?
Very gothic....
Love it XD

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