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Child bad behaviour : owed to parents or friends?

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pandemonium91

pandemonium91

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I've run across certain situations in which it was the fault of parents for their children's bad behaviour : the gypsies, who make their children beg on the streets even since the age of 2 and don't punish them for doing other bad stuff like stealing or threatening people, but encourage them to do so.

Teenagers usually take after friends when building up their personalities, because they think of their friends as role models and have a tendency to immitate them, even if they do it without realizing. Not all situations are like that, but usually if one takes druges/smokes/drinks way past the limit (ends up in coma or loses control of him/her self), his/her close friends immitate that beaviour, thinking they'll be considered "losers" or "wimps" if they do otherwise.

In conclusion, family is directly responsible for the child's rebellious behaviour if they neglect him/her, or keep him on a leash, and the friends are responsible for that, because they encourage the child/teenager to do improper things.

This is not something general. By writing this I don't point out that all te children/teenagers are like this, but simply state my opinion about this serious matter we have to deal with these days.

What is your opinion on this topic? Thank you for replying.

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I see this alll the time... Kids always wanna be "cool," so they smoke, wear their pants down to their knees, etc., and all it looks like to me is irresponsible and drugged up. Honestly, what good does it do to smoke? What good does it do to get on drugs? What good does wearing your pants down to your knees do?

Don't do what makes you cool or blindly do what others around you do; do what is beneficial for you, your parents, and your friends! Become the role model, don't follow one!

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It's not really just a problem of kids wanting to be "cool" here. I too have just graduated from being a teenager (21 now) and I somewhat feel that parents play a big role in shaping the personalities and values of children. I was taught what's right and what's wrong when I was small and I held those values throughout my teenage years. It is usually because neglect (or not enough care) that leads to children and teenagers going out into society, not knowing what type of people are good as friends (what's good and what's bad vary in different people as well, so it's hard to jump to conclusion and say "That's a good kid and the other is bad") It is usually because they don't have a role model to follow at home, so they trust the next on the list of most-trusted people - friends.

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i think is because the parents, no good teaching in the childhood, bad matters the kid gets...

LilYumeStar

LilYumeStar

krazii Fool

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i think it's both parents and friend because i know friends who are neglected throughout their life but they turned out to be decent people. They dont do drugs or smoke and they do well in school. It also depends on how mature the teenagers are and if they're smart enough to decide what's right and what's wrong.

Children are affected by society and how thigns are perceived. I know that when i was younger i didnt curse until i was in 7th grade but now i see my younger cousins and other kids cursing while they're still in elementary school. Nice..i've notice that cursing and violence is slowly being accepted into society. It's as if it's part of our daily life.

i dont know...that's how it seems to me where i live but i'm not sure if it's like that any other place i hope it's not like that hahah

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chii0103

chii0103

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hmm.. 2 reasOns... parents and oneseLf.. parents fOR not treating you right.. and for yourseLf foR choOsing it to be baD.. XD

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PAche

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the child, as well as the parents, and the friends.they all contribute to one's character. different children have different characters and because of that, the way the family and friends affect them is different but ultimately, they all play a role, its only a matter of how much

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Kidder

Kidder

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the way I see it is if your parents don't give you enough attention, then you'll turn to your friends for attention. Therefore you're more likely to follow and copy your friends. Otherwise, the parents play a bigger role in the development of a child's personality.

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I believe that a child's bad behaviour is owed to society. Anything or anyone that the child comes in contact with has the ability to shape them. If I had to blame either the child's parents or the child's friends, I would tend to blame the parents because friends likely aren't the ones who will help you develop your moral compass or your social conscience. I believe those things are shaped by the child's parents early on.

Plus I tend to put more emphasis on the adults because I've encountered too many parents who are either blind to their child's faults or don't take responsibility for their child's behaviour. I find it hard to respect those parents who are constantly blaming their child's misconduct on the evil machinations of others.

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bad parent = bad friends => bad children
bad parent + bad friends => xtra bad children

Mnemeth

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neither are good but the absent of either or both can make a world of difference.

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In the end it all comes done to the child. For me my childhood has all but been perfect. I was practically neglected by my father after my brother was born, my mother talked bad words (and to me as well) like f*@K and so and i grew up round watching violence on tv and stuff with bad words in them and nobody ever really told me about drugs yet somehow i turned out to be a goodie to shoes. Some ppl even go as far as saying that I'm almost perfect. I don't know for some reason i was able to tell right from wrong at a very tender age. I think its because of one sentence that i remeber from my favorite comic hero. "Just because someone does something to you doesn't mean you have to do it back to them, it won't make you any better than he is" That phase stuck in my mind for the rest of my life and I've always try to live by it.
For some children this would have been disastrous as they would have probably turned out bad but for me it was different.

To answer the original question though I would have to say that's it s combination of both of them bad close friends and bad parents but its more towards the former though because the child would want to fit in with them and be accepted and not face rejection. For me i never really fitted so i was generally faced with rejection all the time so i'm not really influenced by peer pressure but like i said not everyone's as strong as this though.

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Rosegirl18

Rosegirl18

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I think both. Having a great relationship with your parents and having recieved a good discipline at an early age could mean nothing if you end up hanging with the wrong crowd. However, as Blaze016 has said, the child could block out all the bad things. Personality and character can overpower influence sometimes.
I had very strict parents, so I've been avoiding the "bad crowd" ever since I was born.

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I think it is more about the parental guidance that a child has that affects them. Though this is not always the case.
I was raised in a house with the unconditional love of my parents and was taught correct morals.

The environment that I grew up in offered drugs and about any other bad thing you could think of yet I never strayed into any of that stuff. My family members (other than my parents) thought that I would be like my cousins and hang with that crowd but I never did.

I was raised to think for myself and know what is right or wrong. If a parent conveys that to a child when its young and keeps conveying it there is a more than likely chance that the child will ignore those temptations when they come.

Also maybe involving the child in "healthy and clean" hobbies when they are younger could help out in the long run.

However, there are always exceptions to this case.

I believe that the majority of "bad kids" have to do with the way that the parents raised them which, in turn, affects the personality.

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etoo

etoo

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well... parents first, cuz you make contact with them first and learn different comportamental types from them and then friends.
it's known that kids take all the bad things from their parents, don't believe me, have a look on the street. if you see someone hitting his kid, that kid will hit his child too... or when he'll play house with dolls, the child will hit the doll if it's been "naughty". it's also about education.... nowadays, parents are less involved in the child's education and so he is left without a propper knowledge of good and bad.
and here come the "cool" friends who smoke (seen at their parents), drink (also parents who either drink or don't take care of the kid and leave him in the company of dear uncle X who likes to take a sip from time to time and gives to the kid, so he won't be ) or take drugs (here is the lack of good/bad knowledge and the way the dealer can trap you).
and school can't teach you what's right and wrong cause the scheduale is to full of crappy things to learn. as if you'd remember all of the data they provide.
i'm really worried about future generations...

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DarkValkerie

DarkValkerie

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both, I guess... as etoo said, you learn off your parents first, but then as you get more and more independant you look at your friends more too. even so, I believe thats it depends on how the child was brought up by the parents, then on what kinds of friends the child makes in his/her life.

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rorry

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Both the parents and the friends are responsable. But after a certain age the child can choose for him/her self. Even if the parents take good care of their children, if they let themselfes tempted by drugs or alcohol, there is no one to blame but themselfes. I also agree with etoo, but a child has to be taught to distinguish right from wrong. Even if they want to be cool, friends don't pour alcohol or drugs down their throat, they do it to themselves. Friends and parents are more or less guilty, maybe some more than the others, but only indirectly.

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I might be one-side on this. I do agree that it can be both side that create the child to have bad behavior but again is not always true. Is the child it self. Ever one has a choice. I understand even the child small and still learning. My parent have.. I mean try to teach me right and wrong. Being me, I don't listen. It goes the same with my friends. I admit I am hard head and self-ego. Those that know about me see what type person I am. I have never done drugs or like to drink like most of my friend. I don't drink even I am 21. I never drop out out school like some of my friends. Even my life mess up. My parent are divorce at age 16. Middle child or 9 kids. I not close with me family or anyone. To me, people come and goes. Being me, I don't think much about it. I was able to gradute high school, gone to college, and working in company. I didn't do it for my parents or firend. I did it for myself. Because this is my life.

What I trying to say, the child that had bad behavior. Can be from their parents and friends or one other or not. It really depend on the child. Even he or she have a good parent or bad parent or good friend or bad friends. Is the child. I think kids are smart eough to make their decision. Well, most of them.

merged: 07-15-2006 ~ 07:31am
want to add some addition thing to what I wrote. Sorry if I wrote to much. You really got me into the discussion.

Like most people that already post before me. Supposely the parent are the first people that we relay on. When we reach in certain age, we start to see different point a view and experince different thing on our own. This is when kids behavior change. Sometime it is attention that they need either from their friends or parents. Or to just fit in or to be cool.

Image if that kids was lock in their home. Not know anything about the outside world. Only what they know from their parent, books they read, and surrounding. It can also lend to bad behavior or good.

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being a kid still (as most of us or all of us would be), i'd still think it can be a mixture of both.

Firstly, parents can influence the child's behaviour, as we look to them as role models. They've been breaking their backs to support you, drive you around, taken you on holidays, have had to deal with dirty diapers. Well, I've heard stories of some of my friends that I knew back in high school, taking a likeness to their parents (the quote "like father, like son"). And it amazes me how much a parent or the parents has/have influence on their offspring.

Now, onto friends. Friends would also influence the behaviour of a child. This, to me, is seen when they are more aware of themselves, the image they choose to be. To be "in" with the crowd, sometimes people would go to lengths to make them feel "accepted". At one point, I attempted the same, feeling out of touch with my friends. In all seriousness, this is to create an image that is nonetheless, artificial to the real you.

Values are taught firstly at home. Friends can influence your values, but you make the end choice in whether you ought to have good/bad attitude to society. Well, that's what I think anyway. Usually, parents will lay the foundations of values, and once laid, while the cement takes its time to dry off completely, friends that you make over time will test the foundation and see if the cement has dried off. Everyone is an influence to how you should be. But how you take it in your stride is what counts. To me, in the end, it is up to the child to decide.

cloud811

cloud811

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i blame the countries socity. North america everybody is selfish, i speak for myself since i live there and i know it and see it. Very few people will acculty be honourable and help others, and i dont mean opening the door for others or picking up a paper u droped...that dun count. I mean goin out of ur way and sacfrificing some of your own time or possetions to help.

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Quote by LilYumeStari think it's both parents and friend because i know friends who are neglected throughout their life but they turned out to be decent people. They dont do drugs or smoke and they do well in school. It also depends on how mature the teenagers are and if they're smart enough to decide what's right and what's wrong.

Children are affected by society and how thigns are perceived. I know that when i was younger i didnt curse until i was in 7th grade but now i see my younger cousins and other kids cursing while they're still in elementary school. Nice..i've notice that cursing and violence is slowly being accepted into society. It's as if it's part of our daily life.

i dont know...that's how it seems to me where i live but i'm not sure if it's like that any other place i hope it's not like that hahah

This guy has it right on the money. I would've said this, but he took the words right out of my mouth.

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Bad behaviour can NOT be blamed on anyone but the child themself. I speak from experience and the whole 'Parents cause it' or 'Freinds cause it' thing is just an exciuse to take the blame away.

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Personally........ children want to be free and do what they want to do because that is how our society works. Parents want to limit their children because they have fears and children hate to be told what to do since they've been taught to have a free mind. So they become rebelious..... and it happens over and over again to the point that it becomes a habbit to rebel against the parent. So, since the child doesn't have a person to lach on with now, they lach onto a friend, usually someone their own age because they feel a little safer with that person....... and therefore, they are influenced by that person.......

A topic that most like to talk about, similar to this is why children are so attached to friends and so against parents...........

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Both i think.....

I mean,parents have a role disciplining their children and teaching them right from wrong,but they can't supervise the child 24/7,that's where friends/teachers comes in.

Even if the parents did nothing wrong,if the kids hangs out with the wrong crowd long enough,he's still gonna be in trouble no matter what the teachers/parents do.

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