What do you do when you feel like you mess up too much?

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Yeah, the title explains pretty much what's going on with me. Ever since the beginning of summer, and even before, I've been messing up. I've messed up with my two best friends, and now we're no longer friends. I've messed up with a guy I like, and now I don't know if he likes me. I've messed up with my online best friend, and now I think she's keeping things from me (such as letting anger caused by me building up and not telling me anything about it). I messed up in a forum I used to go to and used to love, and now many of the members in it hates me, so I had to leave it.

I really hate myself for all the things I mess up. I'm just messing up so much, and when I try to fix them up, they just seem to get worse.

What is it that I should do to stop any other disaster from happening? I don't want any other mess-up, I'm sick of it... I really think some day, I'll die because I messed up on something.

*sighs* I'll understand if there's nothing you can tell me, since I'm not giving much details in the mess-ups I do, and mess-ups cannot be fixed by other people... Well, I just wanted to get that out of my chest, so thanks for reading and sorry for wasting your time with a bunch of BS...

  • Aug 17, 2006

Siri

Siri

Suou

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I think good friends will get over mess ups, at least if you apologise sincerely and show them that you know that you messed up and you were wrong.
(although I know this takes a lot of guts to do)

Hating yourself isn't really going to do any thing but bury you in a pit of your own making.

If you want things to get better I think the only person who can make that change is yourself! ^_^
I wish you luck.
Sorry if this isn't much help lol~

and heres a nice quote "If you are going through hell, keep going."
I'll see you on the other side ^^

When everyone leaves you... I'll look for you then
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  • Aug 17, 2006

Summer67

Summer67

Wyld Chan

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Hey there Girlie :)

First, don't beat yourself up too much. The only thing you've done that I can see is show that you are human. We all make mistakes.

How you deal with them is a different issue. I think if you keep letting these mess ups eat away at you, you'll just keep sinking lower. You'll probably have to do the right thing and possibly apologize to these people. They may not forgive you but at least you can stand tall again without the added weight of worries, knowing you did the right thing.

I'd start with your online friend, as it's usually easier to talk and be more open over a pc, than it is in person. This will at least be a start, and possibly give you a bit more bravery to tackle the real-life friends and make ammends.

One step at a time, and don't hate yourself. If they really are friends, they will forgive you and accept that you made a mistake. If they don't then they couldn't be the type of supportive friends you should have in the first place :)

Just saying the words "I'm sorry for what I did before" can be all that's needed to be said without long explainations.

I wish you luck, and will be hoping for the best for ya :D

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I always apologise, right after I mess up. But... I feel like saying sorry and knowing that I messed up, while informing others that I know I messed up, is not enough. I haven't fixed anything.

But, I think I feel this way because I hate myself. Like Summer67 said, I'm beating myself over it, like I always do.

I'll try to stop hating myself so much like that (although it's very hard), and speak to my friends again.

Thanks, guys. It makes me feel better to hear what you said. I guess I was waiting for someone to tell me that, so thank you much.

  • Aug 17, 2006
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I find that when I have a series of mess ups, if I keep focusing on how I messed up, then the more I continue to mess up! So my best advice is to let some of the things go and try to start fresh! I know you want to selvedge you friendships, and you should do everything you can to try to do that. But have you said to them that "Hey I know I messed up and I am really sorry. Can we start over?" Sometimes, if that person is a good friend, they are willing to start over and give you a second chance as long as your apology is heart felt and sincere.
Just stop focusing on how you messed up and try to start being mindful of the things that you did that made you mess up so that you don't repeat them.
Try to relax and begin anew. You can't beat yourself up forever! :)

  • Aug 17, 2006
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Quote by twilightofroseI always apologise, right after I mess up. But... I feel like saying sorry and knowing that I messed up, while informing others that I know I messed up, is not enough. I haven't fixed anything.

But, I think I feel this way because I hate myself. Like Summer67 said, I'm beating myself over it, like I always do.

I'll try to stop hating myself so much like that (although it's very hard), and speak to my friends again.

Thanks, guys. It makes me feel better to hear what you said. I guess I was waiting for someone to tell me that, so thank you much.

Well saying sorry doesnt fixing things, true but its a start. I would definently start with your friends that you know best or know well. ie your friends in real life. You will always know people better in real life than anyone on the net.

Also dont let this think that you were in the wrong with things after. If you think you really had to say something, then do. What im trying to say is having a clear mind and think things through. Let some things go and hang onto some others.

  • Aug 17, 2006
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If they are truely your friends, then they should be willing to accept your deepest apoligy. Heck, I screw up a whole lot, but people forgive me!(I can't say that my friends forgive me, cause' the only friends that I have are on MT.....) So, as long as your are trying your best and someone doesn't die, it should be alright!

PS: Don't worry, you won't kill anyone with your mistake!

  • Aug 17, 2006
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Heh... Thanks, everyone. I guess I take things too seriously and beat myself up much more than I should. It's something I've always done... but I think I should start to get over it now.

I'll attempt with my online friend, since I know her more than my offline friends, surprisingly. See what will happen...

Again, thanks a lot. I'll take what you guys said into account.

  • Aug 17, 2006
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it makes u feel better...ill be friend

  • Aug 18, 2006
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Heh... Thanks ^_^ I don't know you, though :P lol, if you we talk more, maybe we will be friends!

Well, I spoke again to my online friend, and everything is fine now. And everything is fine between the guy I like and me, so I'm very happy! Thank you everyone so much!

  • Aug 18, 2006

chisaikame

chisaikame

happy camper o^^o

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well i talk to them first, tell them my concerns and honest feelings.. it's best that all misunderstandings are straightened out.. :) then i pray for guidance that i may not say things out of sheer emotional upset, etc that aggrevate the situation or vice versa.. ^_^'

ego vici mundum

  • Aug 18, 2006
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its a common thing that happens to many of us, it happens with me too. sometimes i tend to be a little insensitive to others and tend to hurt people unintentionally.my advice to u is that try to understand the people around u, eg their likes, dislikes, subjects they are sensitive with and try to avoid doing things that might hurt them, and even if something like this happens after being cautious, talk to them about the issue instead of stalling it.
i'm happy that u have worked out everything for now and i hope that u dont get caught in such a mess in the future.

  • Aug 20, 2006
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Everyone messes up everything sometimes, including myself. Time to be really sorry, to say it to the people you guess you hurt, and to change your mind.

Mene, mene, tekel, parsin

  • Aug 20, 2006

TessaLover12

TessaLover12

MT is My Home!

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I think to myself: "I better get things in line or I won't be able to do things that I want to do later in life."

R.I.P. The King of the Ring Eddie Guerrero, and The King of Pop Michael Jackson
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Courtesy of soujiokita

  • Aug 25, 2006

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