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A change is happening in me
I am unsure if it is good or bad
to many lost feelings
to many sleepless nights
A feeling of loseing myself
not knowing who i am anymore
my eyes no longer shine
my heart no longer beats its happy rythem
Waiting for something I dont know
for someone I cant see or hear
a sense of dread and loneliness
Pretty sure I wont survive this change
sure that this is final
that this is the end
critique if you want :)
pretty nice, are they derived from personal experiences..- or just inspired by the common depressed nature of people.. (did that make sense ^_^')
ego vici mundum
nice indeed... at simple sight it can be interpreted as if the narrator is going to die... but it can be interpreted into various things, like puberty for a teenager, end of one stage to get to another one, or other stuff... (am I right? heh) ^_^'
I really like your poetry Ms. Lotus! I hope I can see some more of it!
not bad
Expressive...a little depressing. It's nice that your poem is able to move emotions (mine at least...haha).
The "change" implies a change for the worse (something like death, it seems), or a change that the person
doesn't want to happen.
There are, however, some spelling errors (I know about "poetic license", but I think the rules of correct
spelling at least still apply). These don't change the beauty of the poem in any way, though...I'm just very
meticulous about grammar and all. ^^
Nice work! Keep writing! ^^
It was full of feeling, so I think this is a good one. I can tell that you expressing some emotions that burn or the sensation of losing a loved one (or the like), so it's a topic that I can understand. (perhaps help, but you can decide whether you want that or not. As I recall you talked earlier about some relationship problems.) From my experience it helps to let it out, and poetry is a fine way to do that.
So, in short, if you need any advice, just ask, okay?
And, btw, keep writing.
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