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advice on how to get self-esteem?

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ok i have a problem.....i have no self-esteem, meaning i don't think i am pretty....ect, and ppl keep on saying it will b a problem later on, but i mean i have been ok like this since for ever, and how in the world can u get self-esteem?, i mean it nice to "u have to get self-esteem, it will help u"........ :sweat: "great! how?!?! " and that's when most people walk away....."man that was helpfull :hmpf:", so i am just looking for some piece of advice or n e thing really, to help me in my quest for self-esteem.
thx in advance!

unicorn2006

Retired Moderator

unicorn2006

:.ICE:.:BIN.:

I think it may depend on where you are in your level of self-esteem. That you don\'t think you are pretty is not indicative of a lack of self-esteem; I know people who evaluate their physical appearance as \'average\' and are still otherwise confident and self-assured. Someone who sees him/herself as \'ugly\' or otherwise deficient, is a different story.

I guess a way to enhance one\'s self-esteem is to learn to appreciate oneself better. There is no need to exaggerate the strengths or ignore the flaws, but I\'d say a healthy amount of respect and appreciation for who you are is important to self-esteem.

"Faith means believing in something that will only make sense in reverse."
"When men are the most sure and arrogant they are commonly the most mistaken..."

one dictionary defines self-esteem as "the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect".

y'know, physical appearance does not determine everything.

before concluding that you're an ugly duckling, ask yourself to what extent your physical flaws are real or imagined. is that facial feature you fret (or are teased) about really so unattractive? Or have others pressured you into thinking it is?
Don't let the world around you squeeze you into its own mould. ;)


So how can you build up self-esteem?
I'm sure there're areas of yourself which you feel good about. so...
First, take an honest look at your assets & liabilities. you'll discover that many of your so-called liabilities are quite petty. what about serious flaws, e.g., a quick temper or selfishness? conscientiously work on these problems & your self-respect is sure to grow.

Also, do not blind yourself to the fact that you already have assets! maybe you are good in cooking or drawing. I'm only listing examples here. You know yourself what you are good at. think about of your virtues too. are you studious? patient? compassionate? generous? kind? I'm sure these qualities far outweigh minor flaws.

Second, set realistic goals If you always shoot for the stars, you can suffer bitter disappointment. Set goals that are attainable.

Do good work Take pleasure in whatever work you do at home or in school by doing it skillfully & conscientiously.

Do things for others Self-respect is not gained by sitting back & lettin others wait on you hand & foot. Help out others, your friends, family, etc.

Pick your friends carefully People who are high-minded or insulting can indeed make you feel bad about yurself. so pick friends who are truly interested in your welfare, friends who build you up.

Go exercise If you're not exercising already, go do it! every once a while. exercise makes you feel good as you know you're doing something good to your body, so in turn will make you feel good about yourself.

alright! that's all :D sorry for the long entry, but you asked for "how to build up your self-esteem" so here are some points to help you get started with. :=)

a big thanks to "catsfeet"and "inicorn2006". thank you so much for your reply and comments, i'll try and follow ur "guide lines"(lol), i hopw that someday i can return the favor....thx again!

merged: 09-18-2006 ~ 10:38pm
a big thanks to "catsfeet"and "inicorn2006". thank you so much for your reply and comments, i'll try and follow ur "guide lines"(lol), i hopw that someday i can return the favor....thx again!

manhattanitgirl

manhattanitgirl

Alden Demoss

how do you know that you\'re not pretty? I used to think I wasn\'t pretty and it took 5 years for people to convince me that I was. And who cares if you\'re not pretty. The important thing is that you have your own unique personality and you are interesting to listen to, that should be enough. True, it is very important to look good, but don\'t let it take over your life. Believe in yourself. Don\'t be too confident, but keep in mind that everybody\'s equally lucky and that you have something that others don\'t. And that\'s a real fact. I don\'t even know who you are but that\'s true for everybody.
I sinscerely hope you feel better about yourself.

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Alden Demoss

Siri

Siri

Suou

I hate to repeat this typical line but it really is true
Beautiful is in the eye of the beholder
Even if you don\'t think you\'re pretty I\'m sure theres a whole lot of people out there who do. Not to mention I\'m sure theres a whole lot of people out there who look worse than you so you should remind yourself every now and then to be grateful for what you have! (:

You have to be realistic about who you are and what you look like.

Even if you don\'t think you\'re pretty, maybe you should think \"how can i improve myself?\"

If you can set yourself small goals to improve yourself, and reach them (and i\'m sure u can) then you will feel a sense of accomplishment and you will feel like you are a better person. I think this would be a good way to build self esteem.

I also want to mention that looks aren\'t the only thing to consider when improving yourself. I\'ve met some people who don\'t strike you as good looking when you first meet them but, once you get to know them their personalities are so attractive that they become a better looking person.
It\'s good to hang around people who understand you ^_^ you will feel like a more whole person.

When everyone leaves you... I'll look for you then
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thx for the advice Siri

jasaiyajin

jasaiyajin

-repeat-

I'd slap you each time you said something like "I'm not that pretty!" lolz, seriously, when you think inwards like that, you say to yourself what you are worth. We are our own worst critics, we sabotage our own thoughts and lives, we are our own undoing... so you first have to figure out the "whys" of what's going on inside of you. It's probably the media or you're comparing yourself to others. I'll let you know something that's helped me... take everything that you feel and concentrate on it for 30 minutes in a chair before bed... and do it in this order.

1. worry (just all the things bothering you)
2. think (think about the worries)
3. solutions (simply whatever solution "might" help, any solution)
4. plan (take those solutions and pick the best one(s))
5. action (take action the next day to see if your solutions help)
a) accomodation
b) adaptations


count down to 1 from 5 and go to bed, you WILL feel better in the morning... ^__^


tc <3

-repeat-

Well, there is many ways you can build up your self-steem, not need to fallow all of them, firts as others have already wrote, do excersice, if you can be on a sport, look for one that you feel conftable and you think you can be good on it. Change your cloth, it is true that if you dress well you feel well..BUT remember you decide whats your STYLE. and third, people around you can be mean, realize you are the same, no less no more, when you realize that you can even laugh of those trying to make you feel less.

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