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another poem for critique, honest real critique not nice job

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smilebit

smilebit

aristocat

The oars on the boat rowed as if they were tired of moving.
Lethargic and empty they laid in their holes
and swelled with an unknown nostalgia.
Nothing was the same, now that it was the day that forgot
where we went and how long we had been there,
in each others embrace.

The sun wove its way through the trees on that morning
in search of its shadow left behind;
was found at a tree who sought council in the clouds.
Gracefully the sky chided the leaf.
Heading back to our boat
we held hands as we walked by the scene.

dream away. dream away.

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jasaiyajin

jasaiyajin

-repeat-

heh what a wonderful poem, restored hope... ^__^

i love to dream away... =3

-repeat-

shinmeiryu

shinmeiryuuuu~

gee.....
it seems many poems threads are coming to this forum....
isn't poetry supposed to be somewhere else?
by the way nice poem....
but my taste is more dark and sad....

Meow~

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