Long Distance relationship: Will it work?

Long Distance relationship: Will it work?

Yes
19 votes
No
24 votes

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asinine

asinine

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Ill just give some of my friends case scenario:

Work and Study
I have a friend; alias Lena; that works while her boyfriend goes on to pursue his studies, so there she was working and at the same time helping her boyfriend with his university funds. Well they went through thick and woes but in the end, he manage to graduate. At this process, their relationship was abit superficial >_< But one day her bf decide to go for her masters degree, again this would need both of them to go slogging work but still Lena decide to brave it through (actually iwassurprise she agreed without arguing O_o). But then, she began feeling lonely, always yearning when she sees couple walking together, knowing her bf is miles away.
Cut short, she ended their 9 year relationship.

WOrking in other countries
Alias; Derrick; Was given a job opprtunity, which would give him a six digit pay in US dollars every month after his graduation. But that would make him stalemate at US for a long period of time before he can work at their post in singapore. His girlfriend on the other hand, was adamant about staying in singapore, and she didnt want to resign from her company she had work in for 3 years. So they decided that they work separately which was intended for a few years. But a year pass he was told that he needed to work in US for an addtional 5 years, at this time,his girlfriend had a promotion. That was when they started fighting about everything they can or cannot.
Cut short, his girlfriend relent but she seem..... miserable.


I dont about know you guys but many a times these long distance relationship dont last or at least not without someone going through a hell of a time. There many other friends with this long term relationship but they alwaes had this "No lovelife" feeling, most ending up breaking out from this trap before they get swallowed.

So i like your opinions on these ^_^
(ok got to go before my boss come, geez i wanted to adda case 3 -_- )

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TessaLover12

TessaLover12

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I couldn't vote a "yes" or "no" becasue it really all comes down to how loyal, patient, and how much you love this person. So saying a yes or no wouldn't totally answer the question.

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  • Nov 07, 2006

Lionhearted911

Lionhearted911

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hmm...i would like to believe they work...but considering my pessimistic views on everything i would rather refrain from giving my opinion...
because i am trying to change...maybe when i finally do, i will say everything in this life works out if you want it to...all you have to do is believe...

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  • Nov 07, 2006

FutatsuNoNegai

FutatsuNoNegai

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I agree with TessaLover12 because it does really depends on the person,depending on how loya,patient that person is.

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no it won't work thats the pity

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It does work out sometimes somehow ^^

  • Nov 07, 2006
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Here is my 2 cents, pesos, bhat, pfenning or yen. More than likely in case 2 it will not work out. The gf wants her job at home, the bf is abroad. They both wish to do that, and well in the end someone will call it quits.

Case 2: Can go either way, but as you stated its said and done, over.

And from a military persons stand point...Half US marriages end already, now mind you not talking about dating. Add to that, US military members deploying for months at a time. That just adds stress to the relationships, a bunch of mariages have ended. I cant say anything about the dating aspect. I say it stands that there are more break ups in dating than marriages, there in lack of a better term, less impact finacially being one of the key factors.

Skeclipse

Eclipse d'Shadow

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no i don\'t think a long distance relationship will work...only in rare cases when the two people TRULY are in love and doesnt have eyes for anyone else....very rare

  • Nov 07, 2006

kokuyu

kokuyu

.:~Mugunghwa Traveler ~:.

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quite a fiction love novel to me btw, generally, it needs strong commitment for both to work this out (yep, that's the essential point).

if they can keep in touch often, then it's alright. otherwise, prepare a stronger dose of sincerity and promise.

second, there's always outside influence that'll wreck them out. because of distantness, we may not know what's happening to him/her. curiosity creeps in... (but, that may be good cause' it'll keep them together)
so, what if someone else walks in as third party? 'perhaps that 3rd one seems to be better than the current one.' you see, human are always full of desires (and temptations). thus, it's the reason why it can be yes or no.

i don't think there'll be a fixed answer. there tips to help but it's the couple themselves to decide and pledge it, just like "are you loyal to your own country?"

-"Life is more than just one, & nothing's more important than One"-
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Honestly long relationships, I think will work out only if you really work on it, you can't just sit back and expect for it all to go well...You have to take the initiative and at least meet them whenever you can and never give up...That's how I feel about this situation.

  • Nov 09, 2006
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personally i think not but it can happen...i mean i would not being able to see the person i luv face to face or touching them(if u knoe wat i mean lol..)

  • Nov 13, 2006

darkdragon

darkdragon

the homeless person

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it depends. if you know the person in life and you really love that person then it should work. if you met the person in a game then no its not going to happen.

  • Nov 13, 2006
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Long distance relationships really only work if someone loves their special someone very much and is willing to be patient for them. Sadly, a lot of people don't have that kind of dedication and love, especially since during the process they are always lonely-feeling. Everyone needs to be loved, always...so, yah, it really depends ^.^;;

  • Nov 13, 2006
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Quote by kokuyuquite a fiction love novel to me btw, generally, it needs strong commitment for both to work this out (yep, that's the essential point).

if they can keep in touch often, then it's alright. otherwise, prepare a stronger dose of sincerity and promise.

second, there's always outside influence that'll wreck them out. because of distantness, we may not know what's happening to him/her. curiosity creeps in... (but, that may be good cause' it'll keep them together)
so, what if someone else walks in as third party? 'perhaps that 3rd one seems to be better than the current one.' you see, human are always full of desires (and temptations). thus, it's the reason why it can be yes or no.

i don't think there'll be a fixed answer. there tips to help but it's the couple themselves to decide and pledge it, just like "are you loyal to your own country?"

I have Looked, Read, Read Again, And THink lot about it.


Why not ?

It is highly possible....No...it is and it work out fine. Now, i am not saying that it needs to be this, that, and everything else for it to work out. But rather, have anyone of us here ever EVEN think about the Impossible that can be made attainable ?

The First THought EVeryone reads this thread intially will be a big No at first. I know that. Because i too have the same sentiments as my fellow peers here.However, that was a perception i have deem silly and blind enough to hoard till sometime i left some other forum community years before i enter here.

Kokuyu, as well as as SweetBreeze has had prove a point here. If you believe, you committed, you trust, you devote, what else matters to you if you know the person on the other side of your Computer/Lappy screen is thinking on you always, regardless of your physical apperances you may have revealed. Yes, ppl fear. Rejection. Incompatible Love. (Forbidden Love...a love that was never there in the first place....call it ...crush) They fear a great many from it. Which leads to why our mentality can so irritating and been too egoisatic at times. Thinking too much may harm more than help. Trust in our feelings rather than harbour thoughts on it. One cannot deny themselves the truth of the matter. It just takes time to realise.

We are human afterall. Adapting to it takes time. Patience is never a virtue we learn to master but always struggling for it.

As long as the two are willing to initiate, a small spark of trust embue between and it's this layer of it that creates the impossible. Believe it , or not. It's all up to one's senses. *Shrugs*

I am so not into telling anyone here the matters of love and how it works here because it's a touchy subject.Neither am i going to tell why i am strongly in support of it. However, know this, my fellow peers and MTers, given time, will you be willing TO take a chance with the one person you are dying to know and have been looking for and you know its that person all the while...waiting. As FateDecides pointed out, intiative and perserverance. The Chance Factor.

To me, it is a big Yes. I am one willing to take the Risks. Mantaining a Long Distance relationship requires more than anyone may think if you are not willing to do so, believe it in the first place...and is closer than anyone can ever imagine if you do. Even closer to meeting them face to face or/and knowing them in the flesh. Even when lonely, one must know that, the other doesn't not wish him/her to think that much over it and get on with life...just knowing that it works out well in the end as soon as the distance factor is over. That`s true love for you.

Sadly... only a handful of such happenings and devoted couples exists...

`Cause, we are not bond by the masks and superficiality but rather, the Devotion and Compassion for each other. What is distance when you know how the other is feeling all the time ? Lonely-feeling ? ... It is always there in the first place.Just don't let it mix in with doubt. THAt will entirely spoil ... and strain the relationship. If you do, speak out. If you want to hear, Stand up. True, the anoynmousity of the internet plays and teases....and acts as the buffer too.

If you meant on another kind of Long Distance as such what Asinine as above. (Knowing the person already in person instead) It has proven to be Successful and it does work. My pal and her are Soon to be Married.

All in all, the mantainance of this...it all depends and varies from person to person. I am just speaking from my mind, experiences shared. So sue me. X-P


I know i kind of overexggerated on my point...and it seems so far-fetched. Sorry if i have not been in here too long.

Just Remember. You want the person to be happy. Work or not, it cannot change the fact you/they/him/her have had a successful relationship in life.

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  • Nov 15, 2006
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Lol, I've been in a few of these myself. Will it work? Yeah, I married one of them. Of course, before anyone asked, I live with him now.

However, look closer to asinine's examples and his/her question. I don't think that's the right question to ask for those examples. The underlying problem with the examples is the betrayed feeling. Everyone goes through a long distance relationship with this light in the end of the tunnel. Now, you're not going to be terribly happy if you go through the dark tunnel, and realise that the light in the end of the tunnel really isn't the end of the tunnel, it's just a crack on the top of the tunnel that lets a bit of sunshine in.

Take the case of Lena. She expected that they will be together once the boyfriend is done with school. That's why she did what she did. However, she soon found out that the boyfriend would like to go and get a graduate degree. At first, she thought, hey, it might be over soon, too. But still, she feels betrayed about the whole endeavour. What seemed to be the end of the distance prove not to be. Instead, it's an extra few years, and on top of that, he is going to request additional funding from her. Oh dear... How do you think Lena would feel? "A bloke who can't pay for his own school, trying to take advantage of me by trying to get a master's as well on top of the bachelor's that I gave him..." Yeah, dumpage.

Take a look at the other example. it's got the same underlying tone all over. The original was a few years, then, it's become a few years + 5 years. I mean, after you are being told that you would have to endure something for a certain period of time, you have certain expectation. And when you end up being told that that period of time is now extended, or worse, has become indefinite, you feel betrayed, and you lost all hope.

So, to answer your question, can long distance relationship work? Yes, it can. True, both of them will be missing each other, etc etc, but it doesn't have to be that miserable. Will it work? who knows, lol. But in those cases, you really ought to know that their relationships are doomed, not because they are long distance, but because the sudden change of the period of time they have to be apart.

  • Nov 15, 2006

Bee69

Bee69

Bee-GFX

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it will depend on the person but in most cases no IMO

ether92

ether92

Missing that little Devil.

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Well, maybe no, I have seeing a lot os cases like that, all of them don't work at all, there is not love in this weird world anyway.

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Kyuoto

Kyuoto

Ghostly Stalker

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It depends. It is hard because you will feel lonely on waiting for the person who you wanted to be with. The thing is, it depends on how loyal, trust and other factors you take into consideration. Can't say yes, can't say no because they both happen.

  • Nov 16, 2006

Melodyfpf

Melodyfpf

Murderous princess..

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well, it depends on how much patient does the lovers have and how things work out

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  • Nov 16, 2006

shojostatic

shojostatic

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i have to be honest....they dont usually work, i had a few high school friends who had some long distance relationships...but it didnt quite work out with them. I think its cuz u can never know what the other person is really doing.....

~LoVeYlOvEy~

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I had two long distance relationships along with several others. The first one was me supporting her when she was in troubled times, but after a good year or two. Thats all it was and it ended up with never seeing each other and the never ending troubles between us. Even though I loved her, she always brought up people who were near her and closer. Its as though she was trying to make me jealous, of course that just fueled the fire and it crashed and burned after three years.

The second one was fun, while it lasted. But when she grew a bit tired of me, it was over. No matter how much we were in love. When one of us starts to dwindle a little, we would try to see other people. Always coming back to each other at the end. But it wasn't the same, and we thought it would be best to just cut our ties since the distance mattered alot. I had alot of patience, but it just starts being painful when you love someone so much and you can't be with them because of the distance. Trust me, its better not to start long distance relationships if you could.

  • Nov 16, 2006

Nucleous

Nucleous

I will be taking you to.....

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I don't think any kind of love would last without actual physical contact sure the internet and cellphones make contact easier put people still yearn for physical contact and that is some of the reason I think long distance relationships will not work.

I've been through the hardships of long distance relationships in the past and in the end they fall apart, the pain is not worth it, the one was basically the same as DreamsForever mentioned she always managed to bring up her family and friends close to her as part of the conversation as to say your there I'm here with them you're bad luck if you not coming to me, but I can't being in University and actually studying to become something in the future I can't give that up to be with a girl and then in turn going to a mediocre University and getting a second grade degree over something like love. I said good riddance, I still love her to bits and have not had a new relationship since then, it's been three years and I've managed to get past without to much pain!

In the end I would say stay away from long distance relationships!

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Long distance relationships can work out, for those of you with problems and/or are too old fashioned to realize it. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can stop true love. Think of it; death, time and distance are normally large barriers between people and objects, but love isn't affected by it, if it is true love. And think of it, if it is not true love, would it work out anyhow? Seriously, if a long distance relationship doesn't work out then no serious relationship would go through, after all, the distance between the couple is kind of like a test of their devotion; do they love each other enough to wait? If the answer is no, you wouldn't be able to count on that person when it came down to it anyhow. And no, true love is not sexual love, despite what crapthe media feeds people. True love is a self-less (not -ish) love for the other person involved in it and it is recipricated. Yes, it has to be recipricated otherwise it is like your adoration for money; does money return your feeling of love? Think upon that and then rethink your opinions if it has effected you, if it hasn't, o well. And there isn't love at first sight and true love is not "the souls recognition of its counter part in another" as according to Wedding Crashers, because it takes time. Long distance relationships may be an advantage actually, I mean, think about it: you get to learn all about the person before you meet, is that not a good thing? When you meet that person it may be for the first time you will know this person inside and out ^_^'
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  • Nov 16, 2006

kokuyu

kokuyu

.:~Mugunghwa Traveler ~:.

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O~dr. Firemace.
quoting back~

Quote by kokuyui don't think there'll be a fixed answer

. i'm neutral (i'm innocent, please don't shoot me!)

what you state is the possible side, (though sounded like a fairytale), but human nature differs. it's just a long term success, that's why there're not many success stories in it. (if there's ever countless such positive ones, then asinine won't have bring up this topic). but, take note: i'm not all out to prove it's NO. i do believe YES (or else, i don't need to fall in love), but the fact is the challenge inside, and it's just a pre-caution statement. so, act smart, plan wisely to win your lover's heart forever...... ;)

-"Life is more than just one, & nothing's more important than One"-
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