I've been dwelling on this for some time now, and I've been also wondering which are more important in the end: people or relationships? For instance, I used to have a best friend in high school, until we fought over some guy and she made a scene in public [she was dead drunk at that time and I was slightly dizzy, too]. After that, we stopped being best friends. I missed having a best friend, but on the other hand I certainly did not miss her [that much]. Is this the right way of seeing things? Is it OK to just look for another person with which to have a similar relationship [best friends]?
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- Feb 07, 2007
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I had this friend i grew up with. We never really were "friends" but just aquaintances. I looked up to him in middle school because of his height and populartaty. We became good friends in high school but then i screwed up by hanging around a girl a lot more. I accidently told him that i would trade our friendship away. We weren't as close but we do still hang around each other up to now. I have to say, keep your friend close and relationship is hard to build. No offence but, your a girl so you gals hold the longest grudges =/
What is it?
- Feb 07, 2007
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To tell the truth, friendships are relationships. Everything is a relationship, but fact of the matter is, you cant make everyone happy, nor can u keep everyone your friend forever. So, in all respect, i suggest what almost every person has heard at least once in their life: " There are other fish in the sea" so to speak.
HOWEVER, a good relationship with someone, whether it be a friend or not, is a good thing. Friendship, true friendship, would require that you would consider that person to be an extension of yourself, if not a part of you. And in the end, you cannot hate yourself, rather just hate the actions you've committed. And with that in mind, you cannot hate your friend as a person, because she WAS just that, your friend. However, you can hate the action she committed, while she was drunk.
Grudges are not bad things, they remind you of what reality is, and reality generally needs to be dealt with.
But dont take my word for it, because im just some kid writing to some other person out there about something i never would really truly know about, rather i would know the situation. SO disregard my advice, but do heed this: Don't dwell on the past, remember it, but dont dwell on it.
- Feb 08, 2007
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Quote by x-gear
I had this friend i grew up with. We never really were "friends" but just aquaintances. I looked up to him in middle school because of his height and populartaty. We became good friends in high school but then i screwed up by hanging around a girl a lot more. I accidently told him that i would trade our friendship away. We weren't as close but we do still hang around each other up to now. I have to say, keep your friend close and relationship is hard to build. No offence but, your a girl so you gals hold the longest grudges =/
Nu-uh. Not all girls are like that. Its just that some are really sensitive. There are guys who are even more sensitive that girls.
Do support me in my quest for world domination!~- Feb 08, 2007
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Yes. The answer to your question is "yes".
I've always thought of people as fulfilling certain roles in my life, and as such, exchangeable. Sometimes we'd just drift apart and I would barely notice because the role was not empty, not a void in my life. Specific people are not really important to me. :)
The Lobotomy Club sits atop Cogito Falls. The sign reads "Come on in and lose your mind."
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- Feb 08, 2007
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Odeena, hmmmmmmm it depends all on you. You think about that was a one-off with your best friend. Like I dunno about you, but I say that was like "one big mistake" out of the few years you were friends. So one big mistake out of years you've been together, is it worth dumping a beautiful friendship that you had?
Oh, if you don't mind me asking what did she say when she was drunk? Cause sometimes people say nonsense things when they're drunk, believe me I was half drunk and did some pretty stupid stuff at my friends 21st.
But then again, it's up to you, are you willing to give your friend another chance for the bad thing she's done to you and is she willing to apologise to you and move on together?
And one more thing, it's hard to find a best friend, someone you can relate to so much, like it might take you a long time to find someone to replace your friend or not too long, you can't just say someone's your best friend, it has to work both ways and you have to feel that you're best friends with each other.
In my opinion and from my personal experience, what I call a true friend is someone who respects your decisions and values even if they are wrong.
I knew this guy who was my friend, but he always gave me crap, I'd always thought it was for my own good, but then I knew I didn't like it, cause some of the stuff he was saying was making me depressed for quite a while. So a number of factors contributed (my aunty advice, toastmasters - social club where you give speeches about whatever you want, and the people there give you positive feedback on it and tell you where you need to improve, it's a positive and friendly environment, and it's all over the world www.toastmasters.org), to me stopping our friendship. I knew that I didn't need his negativity cause it was affecting my mental health badly. I know I lost a friend and I don't regret it that much, but it's better than suffering under his negativity.
Thats the kinds of friends that I don't need.
Sorry if I'm typing too much bad habit, but really it's up to you, to answer your question as simple as possible, I think personality is whats important, but really it's your decision whether you can accept that person for who she is and if you're willing to forgive her for what she's done and vice versa. And it's OK to look for another friend, but it's hard to find someone you can relate to so much and best friends have to work both ways and you both gotta feel you're best friends, so you can be best friends, make sense?
Anyways, hope what I said helps ya Odeena.
You can't take my powers away Rita, I'm the Green Ranger!- Feb 08, 2007
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wow...people or relationship...
To me, both are important. I have a best fren with a good relationship. Now im trying my best nt to screw up both my fren and the relationship becuz i dont want to lose neither of them.
Having her as a fren without any relationship seems empty and not being fren at all is even worst. I know frens are easy to make but relations are hard to build. So i treasure both the relationship and friendship as i dont want to feel regret or ever losing her. Cuz maybe some people to me are irreplacable.
Juz to tat once lost, it's gone forever.....or maybe not? But still we have to move on anyway >.<
So maybe a new 'BEST' fren wont hurt. :P
- Feb 08, 2007
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Quote by x-gearI had this friend i grew up with. We never really were "friends" but just aquaintances. I looked up to him in middle school because of his height and populartaty. We became good friends in high school but then i screwed up by hanging around a girl a lot more. I accidently told him that i would trade our friendship away. We weren't as close but we do still hang around each other up to now. I have to say, keep your friend close and relationship is hard to build. No offence but, your a girl so you gals hold the longest grudges =/
So what? (One of my good friend's favourate phrase).
Seriously so what? You shouldn't be friends with someone just cause they're cool or popular. I mean your true friends are the one's that respect your decisions and values as I said to Odeena, and accept who you are. Friendship is about equality or close to it, you're not friends if he doesn't treat you equally.Yeah it's hard to recover sometimes from what you said, especially what you said to your friend, but as long as he forgives you then I guess you can still be friends.
You hang around the girl so what? Maybe it shows you find her more interesting or you can communicate with her better than your friend thats ok, these things happen, cause you enjoy being around her more, everyone does that. But if you're a good person, you'll try to hang around both of them, but you can't help yourself cause you like being around the girl more, thats ok.
Anyways sorry for telling you this, it's just my opinion thats all, whether you agree/partly agree/disagree, etc it's up to you.
merged: 02-08-2007 ~ 07:04pm
Quote by jake09valencorwow...people or relationship...
To me, both are important. I have a best fren with a good relationship. Now im trying my best nt to screw up both my fren and the relationship becuz i dont want to lose neither of them.
Having her as a fren without any relationship seems empty and not being fren at all is even worst. I know frens are easy to make but relations are hard to build. So i treasure both the relationship and friendship as i dont want to feel regret or ever losing her. Cuz maybe some people to me are irreplacable.
Juz to tat once lost, it's gone forever.....or maybe not? But still we have to move on anyway >.<
So maybe a new 'BEST' fren wont hurt. :P
You gotta feel comfortable in your friendship and gotta feel that you can be yourself there and not have to hold back a lot. As I said your true friends are the ones that accept who you are and respect your values and decisions, even if they are wrong.
Nah, I don't agree once lost, you can still recover, I guess maybe coming clean and telling the truth is a good start to apologising to your friend, but it's up to your friend to decide whether he/she will give you a second chance and start moving on together. But then again you're right jake, if it doesn't work out we have to move over, but at least we know we did all we can to try to get the friend back and that makes you feel at least a bit better.
But isn't being friends in a relationship already? As KeYYeK321 said.
You can't take my powers away Rita, I'm the Green Ranger!- Feb 08, 2007
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Mmm..i mean i think both are equal..theres millions of people in the world, so i think relationships are the factor :/ i had a bestfreind for 7 yrs, but now were not, and i dont miss her coz i have another best friend relationship..some people are more effective and perfect in your life..but then again people change or hurt you and tats why you give up...so they arnt so perfect afta all :\ sadness ><
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- Feb 08, 2007
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Well, this things are very common, Odee-chan T_T
Sometimes even our best friends can become into our worst enemies, but this is not the case, I know. The point is that people have their feelings and when they feel that something is going to ruin something they want, they act in a way that is not familiar to us and when that happend we tend get disappointed of that persona. Yeah, maybe her behaviour was quite chocking for you and if you really think that things can't workout with your best friend again, then I think you should move on.
Having a best friend is awesome! I know! and sometime we desperaly need one, but don't see people and look for a new friend like you were in a hunt for a "new best friend" remember that friendship it's something that it just happen! don't force it!You're pretty cool Odeena-chan! I'm sure you have a plenty of good friends and you'll find a new persona to whom you can trust all your problems and happiness. Anyway, I hope you and your friend can get along again. :)
Thank you Farewell, My Master.
"It was nice for a while but it's time to say bye"
Administrator of: Ignore the others! -Nocturnal-MTs Moderator of: Ice-and-Snow Member of: Whatever - Hana Kimi love - BrokenWings-TrinityBlood - GetBackers - MAAC - Petzilla- Feb 08, 2007
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Since every relationship you have is unique, they are not replacable, however you do need to find new ones should you lose too many as relationships are essential to human survival.
- Feb 09, 2007
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Quote by OdeenaI've been dwelling on this for some time now, and I've been also wondering which are more important in the end: people or relationships? For instance, I used to have a best friend in high school, until we fought over some guy and she made a scene in public [she was dead drunk at that time and I was slightly dizzy, too]. After that, we stopped being best friends. I missed having a best friend, but on the other hand I certainly did not miss her [that much]. Is this the right way of seeing things? Is it OK to just look for another person with which to have a similar relationship [best friends]?
i did had a bestfriend, we did not fought because of a guy, we had a "cold war" that time, because of misunderstandings in school, the achademic stuff. We used to be close with eachother, we used to go home together from school. but then everything changed and we only had a hi hello greetings.
We were able to forgive eachother but we were not able to bring the closeness back, after that, I did not had another bestfriend... yah... i dont really trust everyone that easily.
About your question if its ok to look for another person, well for me, yes. Life doesnt stop there, you have to move on. You can find a person who can be a friend to you no matter what. ^^
- Feb 09, 2007
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I'd believe that since (to my opinion) people seek certain feelings from relationships it means people can be replaced, relationships can not. For example, two people fall in love and are together, but maybe after some time they break up. Both might find a new partner and be happy without having to memorize the earlier relationship. They have again their feelings of love and so on yet the person who provides them has changed. We change all the time during our life, so does the others, so does our relationships. But still there are the same basic things we need, only the people who provide them change.
- Feb 10, 2007
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i think...that....its the people....i mean if u have a boyfriend or gurlfriend u rather love the person and not the relationship...that be weird not to like the person but wanna have a certain relationship wid them...." Its the people in the relationship, not the relationship"...i dont think i helped much...but aniwaise...^^'
- Feb 21, 2007
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Well I do suppose it's different for each person.
However, there was this one guy at my school I liked (alot) and when he left (unexpectedly mind you) I didn't quite move on and try to build a similar relationship with someone else. In fact, I still miss him. :(
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
-Mel Brooks- Feb 22, 2007
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haha i find it hilarious that i'm actually going through somewhat the same thing..
- Feb 23, 2007
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Quote by anawhatthaha i find it hilarious that i'm actually going through somewhat the same thing..
I don't see what is so hilarious about that.
- Feb 25, 2007
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i think people are irreplaceble, and even if you do find someone they will never be quite like the others
don't worry the site will be up soon
http://junto.sytes.net- Feb 27, 2007
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People can do something about relationships... relationships are abstracts they can't do anything for themselves
People however, may be replaced in job etc... but no one can replace the actal person... let's give an example... uhh a father or mother... You may have someone in the place of your father or mother but you really can't think of them as the proper father and mother if you knew them before the replacer... know what I mean?Group MT - New Zealand
- Feb 27, 2007
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Quote by TSPhoenix
Quote by anawhatthaha i find it hilarious that i'm actually going through somewhat the same thing..
I don't see what is so hilarious about that.
I find it hilarious because I think the situation that I'm in is stupid.
- Mar 18, 2007
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Now we're going to take a step back in time! :-D The only question is how did I get to this post? One minute surfing the web, the next minute posting on an old thread!
Alright, this is going to be a really long post so grab a cup of coffee and a pack of cigarettes! lol! …and don't read ahead if you don't like mushy friendship stuff! rofl!
Well for starters a friendship is a relationship. I believe you mean a "romantic relationship" and "friendship".
(Side Note: One can have both in the same person and if one did that, it would be True Love! ^^ Actually a romantic relationship without friendship intertwined in it, isn't as good and it doesn't last that long...)Let's start off by talking about what are relationships (friends or romantic)...
A relationship is always far more then we imagine or expect it to be. It is more than a roommate or a living arrangement, more than being together in a social circumstance, more than the bright-colored kite tail of friendship and romance; it is the coming together of two persons whose sprits participate with one another, beautifully and painfully, in the inexorable process of their individual becoming. They are the people, who help us to become who we are today!Now I believe you want to compare the love of a romantic relationship to the love of a friendship. For this I will use a quote on love from a show I used to watch when I was a little kid...
"Love is like infinity: You can't have more or less infinity, and you can't compare two things to see if they're "equally infinite." Infinity just is, and that’s the way I think love is too."
I think this is the general answer to the question. You can get more specific for specific situations. ;-)
Can friends over come difficulties and still be friends? This is an easy one to answer! As You and Me are the Proof! ^.^ We had our little falling apart and didn't talk, but then we renewed our friendship. ...and if anything I think we're even better friends now! I think the fact that we were able to overcome the leaps and hurdles of friendship together; has made us grow even stronger together as friends!
Is it ok to make new best friends? The short answer is, yes. Though I am going to pull on my childhood for another thing. There used to be this one song, sung in a sing-song kinda way, it goes like this...
"Make new friends,
but keep the old.
One is silver,
and the other’s gold."It's always good to keep friends if you can, but sometimes you can't. So if you've tried and you can't keep your friends close at heart - then you keep the memories in your heart. ^^
I remember you sharing with me about the situation back when it happened, though I'm having a little trouble remember her name.
...Now I have some questions for you! :-D ...So did you two ever become friends again? (Oh, and is the same person who you tried to hooked me up with as a pen-pal all those years ago?)Alright am going to let you go now! :-D
Last thought: Every single person should have an exquisite and unique friendly sprit who can help you on the journey of your own becoming...
- May 29, 2009
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when we make a relationship this make our chance to share each other.... than that chat make me grown so fast...
- Aug 09, 2009
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No, it's not bad that you want to search for a new best friend, who knows maybe somewhere in your heart you knew the two of you didn't really understand each other and frankly, if your friendship is broken so easily, it means that you didn't give much of a dang about each other from the beginning. I mean I always fought with one of my best friends in high school and by the end of the day we always managed to forgive each other no mater what the other said so, if a guy was all that it took to break you up, I suggest you start looking for another friend, one for witch you'd give up on the man of your dreams for, because that's what true friendship is all about! Not just the fluff and understanding, but also about the hard choices and rough times. And if she can't stick with you through those, she's not really a friend, just an acquaintance.
Live like you'll die tomorrow, dream like you'll live forever!
- Aug 16, 2009
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- Aug 18, 2009
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