Meeting people: How & Where?

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Elves

Elves

Wandering/Wondering Soul

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So I grew up in a very small town where everyone knew everyone else. And in college I met people through classes. Now I've graduated college and moved to a bigger city where I don't know anyone. I have no idea how or where to meet people besides the bars and dance clubs (both of which I am not fond of). Because these are the "in" places to meet people I'm at a loss as to where else to look. There's gotta be something else out there; like a book club or something.

I just want to find some friends. So I don't feel so lonely. Anyway, I was hoping some of the older members of MT could help me think of ways to meet people because I am not very savvy when it comes to that. ^_^' And I'm not having much luck on my own. Kinda sad, but oh so true. And hopefully I don't wreak of desperation...that is definitely not my intent with this.

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Lura-Sharal

Lura-Sharal

deviant

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What about your job? Surely you have some colleages with whom you possibly could spend some time. Let them show you the city. Maybe you'll get to know some of their friends who in turn know other people. So you will automatically get to know people...
if not... search the internet for something you could do to meet new people. Maybe a sports club or as you said a book club or something... there are loads of possiblities.
Somebody must know you are new. Aren't there neighbours who maybe ask how the move's going or something? Tell them you're fine but still looking for places to go, and things to do in your sparetime. Probably they'll tell you what they are doing or offer you to come along.

Just don't be too shy ;)

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Well! Where do you like to spend your time, aside bars and dance clubs? What about your neighbors? You can start from somewhere near you so that you'll have better chances of befrieding people. Also as Lura-Sharal said, your collegues can be a great help. They can introduce you to a bigger circle of friends. :) Don't worry, even I who have grown up in a big city don't have a big group of friends. You're lucky to have grown up in a small town! (Honestly) It must be a very nice and trusting atmosphere.

  • Oct 30, 2007

cerealjoe

cerealjoe

The day we caught the train...

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I was in the same situation as you about eight months ago, I moved out from the biggest city in the south of France to this tiny village next to Geneva... where the average age is of about 70. My main thing was just to go for my hobbies like long distance running, I bonded with a couple of people there, we always saw each other in the morning so we started talking and training together. Then I joined the local crew team, that was fun too. Of course the people I met were a bit older than me but they introduced me to their kids who had my age and it started like that.

So in the end I'm just saying, be yourself and find people who share your interests, or start jogging in the morning/at night... I find that runners are always a very friendly bunch of people.

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What do you call a girl with a rifle in a corn field? A cereal killer.
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  • Oct 31, 2007

flyindreams

flyindreams

[Ninja] Lurker

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Oh man, I totally empathize with you. I'm pretty lucky in that I'm in a long-distance but also long-term relationship and my boyfriend and I see each other most weekends, and I have a close friend who lives relatively near my place. Outside of that I generally like to spend alone time with my PS2, book, TV or Photoshop/Illustrator (geek) but otherwise I totally understand. A lot of my college friends went through the same thing you did after graduation, and definitely it's a tough situation. Apart from what's already been mentioned, the best thing I would suggest is to check out your college alumni chapter in the area, if there is one. My school has a really active young alumni (and regular alumni) chapter where I live, and they're SUPER active with all kinds of activities ranging from happy hours to pot lucks to visiting lectures from professors. I haven't gone to that many events, but the few I went to are fun and the people are really friendly. Plus the college bond just brings people together too ;D I know our alumni club also does joint activities with alumni clubs from other schools, so even if your school doesn't have an alumni club it might be worth checking out some other alumni groups from other schools, see if they have any open events that you can join.

The good thing about being in a big city is that there really is a lot going on all the time. Through the alumni listserv (and checking around the place for different email listservs esp ones that feature events is another thing I'd suggest), I also hear about random things like embassy nights where you can have dinner and chat with ambassadors/other people of importance for a relatively small entrance fee. Some nonprofit organizations might also be a nice thing to check out if that's up your alley, whether it's through volunteering (another good way to meet people) or attending panels/workshop type events.

Anyhow, it can definitely be tough but the only way to break out of the shell it seems is to really be proactive about putting yourself out there and adding some "extracurricular activities" to your schedule. Good luck!

Elves

Elves

Wandering/Wondering Soul

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Thanks so much for the advice from everyone who's posted so far. There are some new ideas there for me. Flyindreams, I seriously would have never thought about the alumni angle of things. That is definitely something to check out.

If anyone else wants to offer advice - PLEASE DO! I'm always open to new ideas. :)

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hajimemizuki

hajimemizuki

~Forget everything~

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Places where your spent most of your time,somebody might be observing so look out for them.It might be a chance to meet someone.
Remember there's no specific place to meet people.People are always searching for others just like I am

With my eyes,I'll watch over my future that had been set.With my hands,I'll rip my path and make my way.

  • Nov 03, 2007

Mnemeth

Mnemeth

Rider of the Currents

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Look for other places that people gather. Concerts, local festivals, etc.... If you like to cook find the local cooking circle, if you like sports look up the local teams.

Do not interfere in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

  • Nov 03, 2007

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