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Gentlemen Alliance doujin in progress

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Hachiko

Hachiko

The Akita on MiniTokyo

A few of my doujin that have been submitted long ago (I have lost count) have been removed by the mods. While I do support their decisions, I'm still scratching my head as to why it took them that long to take it down after they have been there for a while. Personally, I use MT to submit scans, and join in discussion, not so much for the Sandbox, as I already have this.

In any case, I have a work in progress that already is complete as a monochrome, but not as a color picture. I am debating whether or not I should color this bad boy, or let it be the way it is. I don't usually like coloring my drawings, since color drawings by me are rare.

- Title: Haine Otomiya: Never
- Based on one of the scenes from the early chapters of the Gentlemen Alliance
- Scanned, edited with Paint Shop Pro 8
- This is supposed to be a depressing affair. One of those "I will never go through that again" type of ordeals, the one which Haine went through at that point in thr story.

I am linking this from my own site:
Haine Otomiya: Never
From Imageshack

Critique, positives/negatives, suggestions, et al., are most welcome. Thank you all once again,


H

Signature Image
To the brave otaku and MiniTokyo faithful, nothing is without moe.

FutatsuNoNegai

FutatsuNoNegai

Our Utmost For the Highest..

Ano...did you drew this with pen?I think I know why,it's messy.

You should organised the drawing,I mean,when I look at your doujin,my eyes tend to look at the lines on how you do it,your lines bring people's eyes to it instead of bringing them to your character.I'm not a great artist,but I like looking at doujins.

I think in my opinion,you should draw with pencils,so that you can erase the mistakes you did and do it again.Before turning to penning in.

It doesn't hurt to have company by your side.

Hachiko

Hachiko

The Akita on MiniTokyo

Thanks for your reply, FutatsuNoNegai. :)
Most of my drawings on my site are drawn with pencils, but I usually stop there.

Signature Image
To the brave otaku and MiniTokyo faithful, nothing is without moe.

hihi ^^. First, I like the eyes (esp her left eye). But her hair is messy ><. This is obvious, so I'll go into more detail. You use multiple strokes in one line. Something that would help this would be to imagine where you want the line to end and the amount of curve....or you can cheat (like me =P) and use pencil to sketch the contours before inking it (I prefer felt pens over ball-point, but that's just me). I also have tons of problems with hair, but something that helps me is if I draw the space the hair will take up (like outline I guess...?) it's a bit easier to draw it. One more thing that would make the hair look less messy would be to add less lines (like the Haine&Ushio on your deviant art). These are all just things that I'm trying out to get better...hope they help ^^

Hachiko

Hachiko

The Akita on MiniTokyo

Thanks for your feedback, Kezeryu. I suppose her hair is messy, but there might be a bit of an explanation why her hair is messy. At that point in the story

Spoiler (show)

Haine was still living in the streets, and had been in one too many fights, and her hair is still spilt-end infested, even after taking a bath.

That's an interesting idea, though. Contouring the hair outlines before coloring. Actually, I have never considered that. I always associate that type of hair with CLAMP's works for some reason.

Keep the feedback coming. Thanks once again

Signature Image
To the brave otaku and MiniTokyo faithful, nothing is without moe.

In the moderators defence: perhaps it took them that long before your work was brought to their attention. A lot of art gets submitted on this site and the people who run this site are normal people like you and me - it's not like they sit here monitoring 24/7.

As for your doujinshi: it's not bad :) - the overall concept is there, you just need to work on being more definite behind your lines because as what was mentioned above, it tends to distract the viewer. Pencil does allow for you to erase mistakes, but I don't mind with pen because you can always try to work with what's there and sometimes you can rescue it nicely (instead of rubbing out a million times and then getting fed up when it doesn't work).

Looking briefly at some of your other work, you seem to get your influences from manga - I always have problems with hair in that sense because I never have the patience to draw in all the strands OX. Try working by the motto 'Less is more' for now, and see how it goes.

Keep it up Hachiko! You can only get better ;)

Human kind cannot gain anything without first giving up something in return.

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