The earth doesn't move at the same rate as the stars in the sky, so where WE are compared to the constellations
means that they're in different places in the sky than before. They're a little bit different every year. The
end of August is called the "dog days" of summer because in seriously olden days, the Sirius was just barely
above the horizon at that time of year southern Europe. Now we associate it with the super-awful heat at that time of
year, but that was the origin. In fact, Polaris is only one of several "north stars" throughout history
because of the way the earth wobbles in its orbit (I have a seriously nerdriffic story about that if you're
intersted). Because we're not always in the exact same place in the sky, the annual meteor showers are forecasted
for a range of days.
I understand the weird feeling of going back to childhood places and seeing how tiny things have become, how the trees
have grown, and how everything is different. It feels weird, not because you're sad that you've grown, but
because the emotions attached to those things were linked to pictures in your mind of those places and things. They look
different, so your emotions don't exactly know what to do. The best coping mechanism is to think about how you want
someone else to see these places, and how you would let them experience your emotions through retelling stories. That
way, the emotions are attached to a story of those things the way they looked then, but have relevance in the way things
are now without detracting from the memory.
The first time I went by my childhood home after 6 or 7 years away, it was crushing to see what had changed, how the
tree in the front yard looked, the new color of the house, the way my best friend's house no longer had a
basketball hoop... But I was with my best friend at the time, and I told her all kinds of stories about what it was like
when I lived there, and the friends I'd had in the neighborhood, and I could relive the way the sunset looked when
I was riding my bike and how the woods smelled when it rained and how it felt to stand on my driveway and try to skate
for the first time through Amanda's eyes. She was seeing it as I saw it, even though now we were seeing it in a
totally different way. The next time I went back (like a year later) it was more reminiscent than sad, and instead of
feeling like it was weird how much I'd changed and it had changed, it felt like an old, comfy sweater that I could
slip on; the emotions matched the new picture because I had shared them with someone who had only seen the present, and
I could feel all those good feelings even when I was seeing the reality.
Hold onto your good memories, and give them to someone else, because joy shared is multiplied. Don't be afraid of
the changes in yourself when you compare them to your childhood memories, because those memories are part of what shaped
you into the woman you are now, so they'll ALWAYS be part of you, no matter how much you change, or how much the
world where those memories happened changes. A lot of things about the world have changed for the worse, but when you
think about them, don't associate them with memories from your childhood. Don't let the bad things about
current events distort the nice things you remember, let the good things you remember from your childhood make you
strong enough to live through the tough times.
p.s.: It's especially weird to do this stuff after a really life changing event, like getting engaged. :)
