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The Guys' Rules

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GundamZZ

Retired Moderator

GundamZZ

the invisible mod


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules"
from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we sai d can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible,
please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine..Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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*hugglez & kisses* <---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Limality

Limality

Sleeping Beast

GUNDAM!!! You're the pride of MANkind! thx for listing OUR RULES ^_^

I thank you in the name of all Men...

Cyaz

Leonryushin

Leonryushin

L33TP4ND4

Awesome! ^_^

May the Woot be with you!

Haha, funny lil thing

DJ-of-E

Le

IT'S A MAN'S WORLD...*sings the song*

Heh, great. X) Honestly.

Noctum

Noctum

.:Dark Lord:.

I can fully support the statements listed above.
Although I am not that much into sports on tv.

Si vis pacem, para bellum.

crazypanda

Work is my life! -_-''''''

Yay, men rule.

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kc2

.:lost in eternity:.

Interesting... good!

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Member of -:: "[Express]" ::- -::"[MT's Family]"::--::"[Love Hina]"::-
Moderator of-:: "[Celestia]" ::-

Trowble

Trowble

(^)(>_>)(^) Osiris!

Quote by GundamZZ1. Crying is blackmail.


So true, so true. ^_^

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All Hail Justin: yergheigh
xXLordxOsirisXx: maybe *___*

Angelette

Angelette

[Q^_^]-O

LoL... ::amused:: But the thing with talking only during commercials... what's the point in that? I mean... what I need to say is during the show.. and if I don't say it then, then I'll forget it and then it'll become null and void. I mean.. You just have to comment through the show, may they be snide and sarcastic comments... >__>

Well, one way for girls to think about guys is that you're all dense idiots and that everything you say should never be regarded... Sadly enough. Or sources of amusement... And somehow we all get along...

BTW, enough shoes and clothes are bad bad bad arguments... I know guys with more clothes than I do... And your shoes are hella more expensive than ours. Like those $150+ Nike sneakers... Now, what you forgot were the bags... Girls have waaay too many bags...

And if all you're thinking about is baseball, shotgun formations, or monster trucks... that's really sad... And Christopher Columbus got lost, mind you... He never meant to go to America...A very mistaken man indeed.

But I'll definitely take this one to heart:
1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
Being blunt is more fun afterall. ^___^

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chibi-kyo

chibi-kyo

Purupurupikopuyo

lol, that's funny, although i'm a girl XD

melonchen

melonchen

cecil

dream all u want... but it will be a short dream >D bwahahahhahaha

Sir-Boingal0t

Sir-Boingal0t

BOINGATR0N

now....thats just mean........

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DigiTalBoing XD boingoingoingoingoingoingoingoingoingo
ingoingoingoingoingoingoingoingoingoingoingoingoingoing

rax

so true...
these are the iron laws of the "No Ma'am" organization from Al Bundy, right? He is god.

This signature violates the signature guidelines, thus it has been removed.

GundamZZ

Retired Moderator

GundamZZ

the invisible mod

Quote by Sir Boingal0tnow....thats just mean........

u feminist!!! STONE HIM!!!!!!! *throws rocks* hahha....j/k

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*hugglez & kisses* <---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Osiris

Retired Moderator

Osiris

(>^-^)>( . Y . )

ROFL

baka! why are you exposing our secrets XD

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biriwilg

Retired Moderator

biriwilg

+indie mod+

Wow, I think I finally know how men's minds work...it's a very strange thing. XD

Limality

Limality

Sleeping Beast

Quote by biriwilgWow, I think I finally know how men&#39;s minds work...it&#39;s a very strange thing. XD


No no, it's not strange it's "simple" :D

haha, that is great lol

melonchen

melonchen

cecil

Quote by biriwilgWow, I think I finally know how men's minds work...it's a very strange thing. XD


what mind? do they have one? o_O >Dbwahahah... well i think men are just predictable sweeties...

but always nice to have one XD

GundamZZ

Retired Moderator

GundamZZ

the invisible mod

Quote by melonchen ...but always nice to have one XD

o_O hey!! watch it melonchen....men aren't your toys....XD hahha....j/k j/k

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*hugglez & kisses* <---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angelette

Angelette

[Q^_^]-O

So, GundamZZ, that means that you're acknowledging that men are melonchen's toys...

oOOo

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Noctum

Noctum

.:Dark Lord:.

Not all of them.

Quote by AngeletteSo, GundamZZ, that means that your acknowledging that men are melonchen&#39;s toys...

oOOo

Not all of them. Although I some times feel quite alone with that opinion.

Si vis pacem, para bellum.

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