Will a girl love a nerd?

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first please excuse my poor english, because English isn't my mother tongue.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I'm a nerd and otaku.
She's a very attractive, party-loving animal. While I am a freakng bookworm and science nerd.
She went after me first, then asked me to be her bf. I agreed without a second thought, because i've been fond of her for two years.

Things didn't go well between us. I like anime, but she sticked to the thought that 'anime' or 'cartoon' is for kids. Well in China, cartoons shown on TV are indeed for children, but she never watches anime and kept criticizing me. I burst into laughter watching 'My Neighbour Totoro' , but she said i was stupid. She adores 'Gossip Girl' but i think the sluttiness shown in GOSSIP GIRL is unacceptable.

I helped a lot in her school work. I copied notes for her late at night, but she had never thanked me. I know i can't expect too much on how she thank me, but without one word of thanks? That's a deal breaker.

one time she went to a party and was kissed by a boy. I felt uncomfortable and said a few bad words about the guy. Somehow she quarrelled with me, saying things like ' I NEVER FEEL EASY AROUND U'. then we broke up.

i really don't know what girls like. Now i feel very nervous whenever i speak to a girl, because i often don't know what to say. All the things i am intereted in,such as anime, classical music, my schoolwork, i don't think girls like them.

Since my broke up, i seldom hang out with girls. i'm 21 years old now, i still feel i'm immature lke a teenager(even teenager can do better than me). Recently a girl expressed her affection to me, but i can't make up my mind, i don't have confidence that she will be happy with me, and i didn't giver her an answer.

Isn't it ironic that my major is phychology...?


thank you for reading my grumbles, i love u all~~

angelxxuan

angelxxuan

ぬいぐるみ !

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I guess I'm the weird one but it seems that she was merely "dating" you to use you. like to do her homework and stuff so she could party hardy and when you wanted to get serious she was all but ready to kick the dust from her boots, aka you. don't let it get you down, you'll find someone else I'm certain of it. when you fall off a bike the best thing to do is to get right back up on it and ride again, a few broken bones and bruises and cuts, are just to show that you're showing effort in trying to learn. it's not an easy task for us nerdy/smart/anime/other fans that aren't into clubbing, I, myself, is rejected by several guys because I'm not a party girl. but never fear there is one out there so there could be more. just keep your chin up and try, try again. rejection hurt, this I know for truth, but you'll find that special someone, where/when you least expect it ^.^

Undertaker:Kuroshitsuji: How sad it would be, should laughter disappear.


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look I don't know how old you are but I can tell you women's preferences change as they get older. They start to appritiate qualities in men like a nerdy side, a romantic at heart, and a person that can see the beauty in things.

My expirenece for what its worth says that use what you love about Anime to express to a girl your finer qualities (appritiation for drama, art, music, ect.) But as always be prepared that some people just aren't going to understand nor accept your interests.

  • Jun 05, 2010
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Why not? We nerds are fine men...

I'm a 34 years old man who works as an IT Advisor, pays my own and my home bills and still is a single. It's no curse or disease, only a life fact. The first thing you must do to be with any woman is to solve yourself or every relationship of yours'll be a try, not a success. Seek professional help: Acupuncture, psychologist, anything.

I absolutely love women and I never give up. I can't count the number of nos women said to me and I had some failed relationships that made me learn a lot, too. There's a shoe for every foot. One day, I'll find a fine woman and we'll be happy together. Chances are she'll think something like me and like some things I like. People use to say the opposites attract but it only happens with magnets. With people, similarities attract. Don't waste the obvious and go find a nerd woman for you. Be prepared to fail countless times because winning spoils people and losing makes people stronger. You like a lot of women, of course. Prefer the woman who is alike you and likes you and you can't go wrong. People are different by nature, so respect your beloved woman differences and she'll respect your uncommon tastes. I don't expect my brother or sisters to understand my tastes, why I should expect my girlfriend or wife to do the same?

Mene, mene, tekel, parsin

  • Jun 06, 2010

LonelyAmure

LonelyAmure

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I don't think it's exactly you being a nerd. Tons of girls love nerds, lol. I'm a nerd, and I'm pretty much having girls saying I look very attractive every so often. It doesn't really matter what she thinks of you because there are tons of other fish in the sea. And with a girl that reads Gossip Girl (which I can't stand either) and frequents at parties just so she can kiss other guys, I don't think you would belong with her. 6 years from now if she follows that media pathline about gossip girl, drama, and fashion magazine, she's probably going to end up being a lowdown pretend-to-be diva. Lots of friends know I'm an otaku and they could care less what I'm interested in because I have a lot of other things to talk about too. Be proud you're a nerd. It gets you lots of places and people will tend to know that you'll be smart. In fact, 6 years from now I also bet that she's going to be jealous of you so believe me, being a science nerd is good. Knowing the chemical formula for the breakdown of lactose in the body with an active catalyst might not help you in life, but hey it's something interesting to think about. Plus, if you're like me, and you have the colorful character of being a nerd, lots of people will definetely be friends with you, and you'll score points with the ladies. ^_^
Now, what a girl likes... The thing is, about the psychology of girls, most girls you want to date want to date you for who you are, not for what you're interested in as much as your personality. If you constantly think that girls want a handsome, 6'3" buff who plays football center lineman on the offensive or a guy that looks like he could pose as a male model for SI, you're wrong. And this counts for many stereotypes. Everytime I go to the electronics store, I see a cute girl taking the hand of an equally as cute guy, but they look like normal people! They're having fun, chatting about that cute robot dog or that new webcam device. Anyways... As long as you're warm, funny, at least maintain a decent look (looks determine a lot about personality in the way how you take care of yourself), and most important, confidence, you're bound to take the cutest girl in the bookstore reading that newest shoujo or josei home with your seductive little etiquette.
I'm only 16, but I've seen what happens out there. I'm still single, no dates, but I frequently meet new people that add me on facebook or msn. ^3^
BTW, if you're going to be a psychologist, you're going to have to learn a lot about this stuff anyway, lol ^_^ just saying =] hope you have read my post and thought about it.

( ^_^)o??o(^_^ )Cheers~ my favorite|Twitter|Facebook|Windows Live|Minitokyo|My Wordpress!|USE Tineye-kun!
"The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye but found by the heart."

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thank you guys very much! I feel a lot better and more confident now!
Gee, i didn't know my exgf was using me, helping her with homework or buying her pretty dresses were considered as natural and obligatory for me. Well now i finally realized what a 'good man' i was.
I am experiecing some sort like 'social anxiety' discussed in phychology textbooks. theoretically speaking, my anxiety mainly derives from a lack of confidence and unnecessary worries. I know how my mind works, but sometimes it's difficult to see through things in a bad mood.
I play piano very well, i can draw pretty pictures. I need to bring my un-nerd qualities into full play. And i should hang out with my lady-friends more often. There are three or four girls i care a lot.
Again, thank you for your encourgements, this forum feels like a big warm family!

distillme

distillme

Merp.

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aw.. :( don't feel like you should be self conscious around girls! (I am one lol)

It sounds like that girl was using you and treated you very badly. There are girls out there that will treat you badly and judge you because of your interests... but that just means they aren't right for you and you deserve better! :)

If you meet someone with similar interests and they seem to be interested in you then go for it! :D

and yes girls can fall in love with nerds, i did, and i am one too ;-)

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Kenji-boy

Kenji-boy

With a song in my heart~

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Sadly, being realist, I'm a fraid that there is a low, very low possibility; but like distillme said, I think that only persons who are alike can have a real romance, and maybe a long relationship. That's what I think.

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Quote by archangel12345i still feel i'm immature lke a teenager(even teenager can do better than me).

I would like to add you should reconsider this. People “grow up” and then they end up unhappy and miserable. Besides it all depends on what you’re looking for. You are 21 you should realize that a relationship could lead into a real commitment.

Live, be happy.

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. - Psalm 91:11-12

fireflywishes

Retired Moderator, Linguistics

fireflywishes

Calgon, take me away~!

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firefly loves geeks! <3

I would agree with angel... I do think that your ex was just using you. But believe me you're better off without her. Karma will take care of people like her.

It sounds like you've got a good plan... but don't feel like you need to hide your geek side! Fight on archangel! ( ^o^)/

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distillme

distillme

Merp.

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just keep your chin up, something good will happen eventually :) <3

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Reina89

Reina89

Milly- Student Council President

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Reading this kind of made me think of one of my close male friends who I always try helping by giving him advice.

Just to be hepful, be who you want to be and if someone really likes you then they won't be bothered by trivial things such as your personal interests differing from their own. There is nothing wrong with being nerdy ora 21 year old who likes anime.

  • Jun 17, 2010

Tenko-san

Tenko-san

The Destiny Warrior

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There are plenty of fish in the sea, so take your time and you'll find the one that loves you for who you are!

  • Jun 18, 2010
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Thanks again you guys! I've been doing stuff for my prof. these days so i didn't reply in time.
Well, i'm not regretted after learing that she had been using me, my heart is in the right place, i think i treated her well no matter the consequences were.
And yeah, Tenko-san, i'm sure i will find my Mrs.Right, when the time comes!

That break-up happened one year ago, and now... it seems a girl is taking interest on me. She wrote to me like"Every time i speak to you i have a feeling that i don't know how to express. Maybe there's something hiding in my heart, that's why my emotion flows under my speech"
Does she like me ? or not? I don't know how to read girls' minds.

carlozzzzbr

carlozzzzbr

Otaku-freak soldier

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surely she does. No girl would say something so romantic if she really didn't like you.
Now, do you like her? You seem more interested in knowing if she likes you than thinking if you like her.

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oh that's sad....sumimasen!

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Quote by carlozzzzbrsurely she does. No girl would say something so romantic if she really didn't like you.
Now, do you like her? You seem more interested in knowing if she likes you than thinking if you like her.


Actually i'm not sure. Since i've got loads of schoolwork to do, i barely have time to accompany her. I think if i can' take the responsibility, i should not make an early commitment.

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Nerds, in my opinion, are better than 'normal' people... i go on games all the time, consentrate on my schoolwork and ADORE anime... but i have the same problem, lads that are my age call Anime 'childrens cartoons'. I pride myself on my anime fanart and they couldn't care less, so i love nerds SO MUCH coz i can relate to people like them... plus i'm also classed as a goth, so things are more difficult for me :P it's just a matter of people bein intimidated by our intelligence and passion for the things we love... nothin wrong with that

carlozzzzbr

carlozzzzbr

Otaku-freak soldier

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Quote by archangel12345

Quote by carlozzzzbrsurely she does. No girl would say something so romantic if she really didn't like you.
Now, do you like her? You seem more interested in knowing if she likes you than thinking if you like her.


Actually i'm not sure. Since i've got loads of schoolwork to do, i barely have time to accompany her. I think if i can' take the responsibility, i should not make an early commitment.

I see you are concentrating in the right thing, that is, your career. But you should be thinking deeply in that girl, since its not easy for someone to show feelings for you in that way.

Damanex

Damanex

A Genius No Rule Can Contain!

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Sounds to me brother that you grew up really early, which isn't a bad thing at all. Some people take a long time to mature and want to go out and party every night, blow off resposiblities, and then have reality hit them later to get on track with things. Others tend to be settled in what they love and do it right, have a plan and work right into acheiving it, and finally, move cautiously because they may have had a hardship and learned to steer clear, that sounds like you.

To say something cliche like "There are more fish in the sea" is just plain rude, but don't worry about it. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, she was not the one, not for you. You will find someone who knocks you off you're feet, she might not even be into anime or things you like, she might not even care to hop into it, but regaurdless of that, she will love you for who you are and what you stand for, and when you have something that special, it won't matter. Hang tight, Cupid has a lot of deliveries to make, your arrow might just be lost in the bag right now, but he'll be shooting that special person your way in due time, so focus on making your other elements in life better in the mean time.

"A thief is a creative artist who takes his prey in style, but a detective is nothing more than a critic who follows in our footsteps." -The Phantom Thief Kid
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she isn't really into you, here's the real deal
in a relationship, it work both ways, not just one way
if you love/like someone you accept what they are
not criticizing them so they would become someone you want
but just because i said that doesnt mean you can just sit there do whatever you always like to do
you need to improve lil by lil, be more mature, you dont have to throw away your interest but you can always show her some values that she like

  • Jul 04, 2010
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Quote by LauKongshe isn't really into you, here's the real deal
in a relationship, it work both ways, not just one way
if you love/like someone you accept what they are
not criticizing them so they would become someone you want
but just because i said that doesnt mean you can just sit there do whatever you always like to do
you need to improve lil by lil, be more mature, you dont have to throw away your interest but you can always show her some values that she like

totally agreee !

  • Jul 07, 2010
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i think she was using you...

you can get something better, dude!

you'll get over it, and you'll see!

=)

  • Jul 13, 2010

Osiris

Retired Moderator

Osiris

(>^-^)>( . Y . )

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Trust me when I tell you guys that older women wants a smart guy lol

dumb guys dont make as much n_n

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