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Sleepless words(poetry)

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DarkAlleyCat

DarkAlleyCat

Mew! =3 ~DAC~

[Side note: This is my latest poems not even 3 days ago, and in some way it's the sadder/male version of a song that inspired me If you are my love Hope you enjoy it, and I'll see if I got others that are cheery.]

“Kiss me softly and never let me go”
The very words she said to me that night, 5 years ago
There was nothing more a man can possibly ask
But it’s just a lingering memory now, a figment of forgotten past
Her eyes shined like stars that put the very sky to shame
Now I lay here sleepless, trying endlessly to remember her name

I remember her breath, caressing off my neck
A moment on which both hearts beat in united check
Firm her lips were, succulent and sweet
An impulse through ecstasy, followed up by gradual heat

Young love and innocence, purity I once knew
Now I’m aging and misguided, drunken by brew
Let my heart loose itself in the quiet slumber of sorrow
Maybe then I can forget, allow myself another tomorrow
“Kiss me softly and never let me go”
The very words she said to me...that night so long ago

~I don't believe in angels but I believe in people. That's enough reason for me to believe heaven exists. ~Signature Image

angelxxuan

angelxxuan

ぬいぐるみ !

as that might be slightly adult/mature in nature, well for those that can understand it, I would have to say very nice indeed. you brought about first love in a most unique and complex sort of fashion. you were able to recapture (or show, depending) your true emotions when it comes/came (or love/young love in general) to first love, in your eyes. thanks for sharing your work :)

BuBbLeS!


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LuckyShadow

LuckyShadow

hypnotiq luck

two thumbs up!

It's not about when you arrive, but about the journey to your destination.Signature Image

DarkAlleyCat

DarkAlleyCat

Mew! =3 ~DAC~

@angel I'll post up some of my very early work, and you can make a small comparison, if you'd like.

@LuckyShadow Thank you kindly =)

~I don't believe in angels but I believe in people. That's enough reason for me to believe heaven exists. ~Signature Image

LuckyShadow

LuckyShadow

hypnotiq luck

Yeah sure dude, go ahead!

It's not about when you arrive, but about the journey to your destination.Signature Image

angelxxuan

angelxxuan

ぬいぐるみ !

always to the welcoming of reading poetry. it tends to be one of my specialties, that and finding the meanings within the words, some things never grow tiresome. I look forward to seeing more, I do enjoy poetry :)

BuBbLeS!


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DarkAlleyCat

DarkAlleyCat

Mew! =3 ~DAC~

[Side note: This one is titled "Dream Lady stay gone", and although it has no rhyme scheme, it was made last year and probably one of my most satisfying pieces at the time. Now looking at it, I think I could've done better =P]

Dreaming of you is nothing more than sweet lust and desire
Remembering those sweet soft lips grazing upon mine
Erase the tension, the fear, the doubts of a world I knew
Accept the fate as I surrender, for this I’m willing to take
Make me a dream for this I will never wake up

Live in my heart, my mind, my soul for this I allow you to take
An answer that can never be said, forgotten or sold
Death is something reality cannot grasp for a being like you
Yearning the body so tempting, mere satisfaction is tolled

Sadly dreams stay within dreams for this it will never take
To my desire is for you to disappear and never truly awake
A call I must resist, a choice hesitant to plea
Yet a mind so wondering, imagination is key

Go now as reality has finally come clear
On forward as my life finds place from near then far
Note this heart shall not let you enter, a path I will take
Engraved with a woman, “Dream Lady Stay Gone”

~I don't believe in angels but I believe in people. That's enough reason for me to believe heaven exists. ~Signature Image

angelxxuan

angelxxuan

ぬいぐるみ !

nothing personal but I liked the first poem better. as both are good, the second one is lacking spark. it's like it's a lifeless piece of art with words to amuse. I like how you could have brought it to the attention that it could be towards anything that you love or desire, that it didn't have to be just love or first love. this could be used in just about anything even to the point towards depression. as a whole it is very nice and very well written.

p.s. hope not to have upset or made you mad in any way, that was not my intention. if I did so I am terribly sorry. I tend to do that a lot, is write about my opinion on someone's piece. in my eyes there can always be room to improvement, that perfection is nothing more than a word to badly boost the ego. hope that this doesn't halt you from sharing more though :)

BuBbLeS!


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DarkAlleyCat

DarkAlleyCat

Mew! =3 ~DAC~

@angelxxuan No, no not at all. I'm open to feed back and opinions. Also I completely agree that there's always room for improvement, and personally found the 1st one better just because of a simply rhyme scheme, and some organization between the "1st person's" present and past thoughts/memories. That's pretty much why I like sharing this, to get second opinions and their thoughts, so no harm done. In all honesty that's the thing about any kind of art: do what you can to appeal, hear what they have to say, and interpret that into a positive perspective to surpass your previous. =)

~I don't believe in angels but I believe in people. That's enough reason for me to believe heaven exists. ~Signature Image

angelxxuan

angelxxuan

ぬいぐるみ !

sometimes words on a page are nothing more than just that until the person writing them experience them or know about it or the other person/s that read it to know/experience themselves. and after you have experienced said things or know a lot about them, then you are able to pour more into the words and they flow so much better. like ink to a brush, until then the ink is dull and nearly dry until you can place your heart into the same exact position, until the mind and body becomes one, then the words will flow rough and jagged like rough currents around sharp and dangerous rocks :)

BuBbLeS!


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LuckyShadow

LuckyShadow

hypnotiq luck

I'm not good at analysing poetry at all. so you're not going to get any good examinations like angel just gave; however, i also enjoyed the first one the most. It had a really nice "rhythm" to it, and it was really capivating from the beginning. The second one did lack the same spark that the first one had, but they were both quite good!

It's not about when you arrive, but about the journey to your destination.Signature Image

DarkAlleyCat

DarkAlleyCat

Mew! =3 ~DAC~

@angelxxuan Lol, very philosophical of you. In a writer's to readers' view it really does draw down to perspective and interpretation. As much as the original creator will like to express that ideal or view he/she conjured up, it might not always go as planned. It doesn't necessarily mean it's misinterpreted or wrong, but simply the fact that someone else has different experience(s) or thought(s) that can contribute to a certain 'piece'. That's why I keep an open mind and provoke feedback. If you can accomplish the task to lead a reader to think about what you wrote, then you've pretty much done your role as a writer. Anything else is rather the icing on the cake, something you may reflect on, or something to aspire to.

@LuckyShadow Thank you for the compliment. It was made about a year ago and I'm trying to adjust my writing style to make it more appealing, and make more sense in some cases. I'm still very much a beginner, at best, to what level I want to achieve. However, what starts with a spark of interest can blaze into a burning passion. Sounds cliche, but heck I'll use it =P.

~I don't believe in angels but I believe in people. That's enough reason for me to believe heaven exists. ~Signature Image

angelxxuan

angelxxuan

ぬいぐるみ !

I know what you mean darkalley, I am sometimes fussed at because I went into too much detail here and not enough detail there. but after I have been going through and proofreading, or rather reading what I did write :P I am finding I can possibly go into a little more detail so it doesn't sound like a cut and dry, trying to rush through in a few hours and get it published sort of thing. it's not easy to write and have to think general audiences, it's just horrible for me. the things that leak from my mind, sometimes even disturbs me :|

BuBbLeS!


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DarkAlleyCat

DarkAlleyCat

Mew! =3 ~DAC~

@Angel Literature, like any art, is just the an expression of self. Rather it's through poetry, a written argument, fictional story or w.e, it's all just small piece of yourself that offers how you think, or what your thinking of. Don't be disturbed on how you think, but it's good to be considerate if your trying to appeal certain thoughts to a general audience. It's a little hypocritical when I say this since poetry is a very...open canvas that usually can't be restrained to a simple interpretation, some thing that may be similar to someone else but not exact.

merged: 12-09-2010 ~ 06:14am
[Side note: Here's something a little recent since the summer. I can't really remember what inspired me to write this but I know there's a story behind it. Anywho, hope you enjoy and I'll post one more before my exam on sat. (Last min studying, woot! -.-)]

Forget

One good man falls
Another tale to tell it all

A memory with no true beginning
A silent song that's worth singing

Regret is nothing but a fool man's gain
A lone man's tragedy, his sorrow, his pain

Forget the sights,
Forget the actions,
Forget the memories it brings

Forget the voice
Forget the girl
Forget the person with wings

This siren she beckons, allured to her call
A scene lost in time, a kiss to seal it all

Whisper the words of this sweet long melody
Remember her grace, her essence, the definition of serenity

Forget the sights,
Forget the actions,
Forget the memories it brings

Forget the voice
Forget the girl
Forget the person with wings

Love is an emotion uncertain to gain back
But at least I'm no mere pawn to fall between these cracks

A mind once lost, I can't grasp to comprehend
A heart once broken but now to it's a mend

God may be a witness but I can't reverse what has been done
Another season will go by in repetition to the sun

Let go her sight
Let go her actions
Let go the memories she brings

Let go her voice
Let go the girl
Let go the angel with wings

~I don't believe in angels but I believe in people. That's enough reason for me to believe heaven exists. ~Signature Image

Niiiiiiice ~

Corvyie

Corvyie

Uh-huh.

All of the poems shared here are very nice, I think. I wish we had these as submissions for our Literature Magazine. We only have five pieces so far worthy of being put in.

Actions speak louder than words and words speak louder than thoughts.

[url=http://bleach-central.minitokyo.net]

DarkAlleyCat

DarkAlleyCat

Mew! =3 ~DAC~

Fallen Seed

For each moment I take,
For each beat my heart makes
I look towards the night lit sky wondering if my life is passing by

Flat on my back,
Contemplating each meaningless fact
Wondering if there’s a chance I belong to that celestial sky

“Why can’t I cry tonight?
Is my heart locked to emotions I can’t write?”
Loved ones that have perished, and yet no tear I can shed

“I’m no child anymore, forgotten I have been...
I can’t even recall these faces I’ve once seen!”
My being is intact but body feels empty as if dead

I held this pendant centered upon my chest
A simple memory of love, a vision laid to rest
“Cry not as angels weep in man’s eyes”

“Remember their voices for it shall bring you home”
A tear rolls down from my eye; knowing I won’t be alone
This will be the moment I say my final goodbyes.

“Grown I have done, a child I may still be...
But even now their family blood still courses within me”


Just something while listening (Radio Protector-by 65daysofstatic) and reflecting on due to recent events of 2010. Last year was mainly a time where I wondered about my grandfather's and uncle's passings, on my mother's side. I never truly got a chance to know them as well as I'd like, being 9-10 years since I visited "the homeland". In a small way this my way of mourning of the faces that are beginning to fade away. The people I never truly felt attached but heart broken in a way that I wasn't given a chance. However, being born to this bloodline, to this particular name, a part of them shall and will forever be a part of me. That's pretty much the small background on why I created this, and to leave 2010 behind. A little more to the depressing side, but I'll be sure to get some cheerful stuff up when I get around to it.

merged: 02-11-2011 ~ 07:31am
Sweet Siren Song:

A faded voice in this endless night
Another sound to end my fright

Ease my pain and let me sleep
But lock my heart, which I'll intend to keep

"Don't wake me me up if the sun comes up tomorrow"
As to wake up will lead me into everlasting sorrow

O sweet siren song
why are you stuck in my head?
O sweet siren song
why can't I learn to forget?
O siren song
Sing for me one last time...

Reality pierce my heart and bring me back
Return my pride and honor, on which I sadly lack

I'll sing this song once and never sing again
As my voice will fade and this is what I intend

O sweet siren song
why are you stuck in my head?
O siren song
why can't I learn to forget?
O siren song
Sing for me one last time...
And this time I will forget.

~I don't believe in angels but I believe in people. That's enough reason for me to believe heaven exists. ~Signature Image

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